Biblical Counseling. *Adapted from The Master s Seminary Course PM 512 Syllabus Spring 2012 by Dr. John Street

Transcription

1 Biblical Counseling *Adapted from The Master s Seminary Course PM 512 Syllabus Spring 2012 by Dr. John Street South Bay Christian Alliance Sunday School 2013

2 BIBLICAL COUNSELING Aims and Goals Equipping the saints for the ministry Giving principles to fit different counseling contexts Helping the church to strengthen and give hope to the body in times of difficulty/sin Giving principles for SELF counseling Showing the relevancy, practicality, and power of God s Word Disclaimers You must be careful wielding the Word of God You must have good hermeneutics and Bible study methods You must prepare and practice You must have a love for God s people You must have a love for His Word You must take heed lest you fall (Gal 6:2; 1 Cor 10:12) Overview These are the items that will be covered: The Biblical/Theological Foundation The Biblical Process of Change Different Counseling Models Gathering Data The Physical Side of Counseling Giving Hope Secular Counseling The Process of Homework Medical Issues and Mental Illness Practical Tips for Effective Counseling 1

3 I. Introduction A. Definition 1. What Biblical Counseling is NOT It is NOT a quick fix for problems It is NOT an autonomous (self-existing, independent) ministry It is NOT just reserved for the experts It is NOT an optional ministry (Acts 20:31; Rom 15:14; Col 1:28; Gal 6:1) It is NOT separate from discipleship It is NOT insensitive or uncaring 2. What Biblical Counseling IS (Col 1:28-29) a. Biblical Counseling discerns desires, thinking, and behavior that God wants to change (v. 28). b. Biblical Counseling uses God's Word, by the Holy Spirit, to change desires, thinking, and behavior (v. 29). c. Biblical Counseling seeks the sanctification of the Christian (into Christlikeness) for the glory of God. d. Biblical counseling is nouthetic B. Resource 2

4 II. The Biblical Foundation for Biblical Counseling A. The Process of Developing Our Practice 1. Practical Theology without Levels 1-3 is not biblical counseling 2. Levels 1-3 is Incomplete without Practical Theology 3

5 B. How Does Theology Affect Life? (A Theological Foundation). There are many examples of the truth of theology having real practical effect on someone s life. 1. Theology Proper a. The Omnipresence of God Wayne Grudem: God does not have size or spatial dimensions and is present at every point of space with his whole being, yet God acts differently in different places. b. The Grace of God Grudem: God s goodness toward those who deserve only punishment. c. The Trinity, Marriage, and Leadership Submission There is a direct relation to the economy of the Godhead and the biblical roles of a husband and wife (1 Cor 11:3). The same is true for submitting to all other forms of leadership. 2. Anthropology a. Made in the Image of God (Gen 1:26-27) As God s image-bearers, our purpose on earth is to live in a manner that points to the ultimate Creator. 3. Hamartiology a. Sin Is Hereditary (Rom 5:12) b. Sin Is Habitual 4. Pneumatology The Holy Spirit is who enables to the counselor to be effective. He is the one that brings about change in the life of the Christian. 4

6 III. Other Counseling Methods A. Counseling Epistemology Epistemology is the study of the source of knowledge, or where a person derives knowledge. There are four levels of knowledge: 1. Revelation General Revelation (Ps 19:1-6; Rom 1:19-20). Special Revelation (Ps 19; 119; Rom 10:17; 2 Tim 3:16-17) 2. Empiricism The teaching which says that all knowledge is derived from observation and experimentation without systems or theory. Within the realm of counseling, Human Studies (anthropology, sociology, etc.) are a good example of this. It teaches that human behavior can be predicted based on the empirical evidence that has been gathered over the years. 3. Reason This teaches that knowledge can be derived from human intelligence and rational thinking (e.g. Apologetics). This has a major effect on counseling. Theories on counseling will have their basis on reason rather than objective truth in Scripture. 4. Intuition This is similar to reason but with a more relational and experiential emphasis. This argues that all truth is what I can relate to with my experience. 5

7 B. Secular Psychology and Schools of Counseling It is good for believers to be familiar with the secular psychological schools of thought regarding counseling. Though modern psychology is more eclectic; this will, nevertheless, be a beneficial study. 1. Sigmund Freud a. Background Born in Austria in 1856 Freud was Jewish and a follower of Charles Darwin. He flunked out of med school and decided to study psychology. After graduation, he started private practice on people with different psychological disorders. He considered himself a scientist first rather than a doctor. He wanted to understand human knowledge and experience b. Depth Psycology / Neuropsychology The ID, Superego, and Ego Other Concerns Biblical Evaluation 2. Alfred Adler ( ) a. Background b. Neo-Freudian 6

8 3. Burrhus Frederic Skinner ( ) a. Background b. Behaviorism 4. Albert Ellis ( ) a. Background b. Rational-Emotive Theory 5. Carl Rogers ( ) a. Background b. Third Force Psychology 6. Nathan Ward Ackerman ( ) a. Background b. Family Systems 7

9 7. The Evaluation of Psychology Before we dive into biblical counseling, we must see that there are many flaws within the secular counseling models that people have never really considered. For the Christian, secular counseling greatly conflicts with the Scripture s perspective on counseling individuals. Psychotherapy moves from hard science to soft science. At best, 3% of psychology is science oriented. Ultimately, it is an unbliblical anthropology Responsibility: Man is never the perpetrator. Instead, man is always the victim. There are about 250 different systems of Psychology. IV. The Biblical Counseling Method There is a general process in the approach to biblical counseling. However, there is no one size fits all or cookie cutter methodology to biblical counseling. The goal here is to give believers a basic structure, general guidelines/attitudes, and biblical principles in their approach to every single counseling situation. A. Data Gathering Before entering into counseling, the Christian counselor must first identify who he or she is dealing with. An incorrect evaluation of an individual will lead to an incorrect application of biblical counseling. 1. The Subjects of Biblical Counseling a. The purpose of Biblical Counseling is to counsel the Christian into being more like Christ in their hardships or sin-struggles. b. All counseling is pre-counseling (or evangelism) until a person comes to Christ. 8

10 2. Intro to Data Gathering Why Gather Data? Gathering data helps us to diagnose the problem for the purpose of administering the correct medicine. Gathering data helps us to understand how we are to approach different counseling situations. Gathering data helps us to understand the true issue What Kind of Data Do We Gather? P Physical R Relationships E Emotional A Actions C Conceptual (thinking) H Historical 3. How to Gather Data a. Formal Have them fill out a personal data inventory b. Ask the Right Questions Extensive and Intensive Questions Extensive: asking a little about a lot Intensive: asking a lot about a little Ask Relevant Questions 9

11 Pick the correct Words What? How? Where? When? What for? How often? Ask Open Ended Questions Be careful with Yes and No Questions It gives flexibility for a response/answer It helps you to better understand Ex: Closed: Do you want to get married? Open: What are your thoughts about marriage? Avoid fuzzy, vague, or general answers Avoid making hasty judgments about their answers (Prov 18:13). Take note of key areas and words that require further investigation Observe their Outward Behavior Non-verbal communication says a lot about a person Be careful not the misread the individual c. Gather Information from Other Credible Sources Info from other people Feedback from the counselee himself Observing the counselee outside of the session Listen to their prayers Data from their homework 10

12 d. Learn How to Listen 1. Listening is Necessary 2. Listening Requires Self-Control 3. Listening Requires a Sharp Ear Listen for blameshifting; words like can t, unable, too much, never ; victim mentality; calling sin a sickness; tangents and rabbit trails ; what they leave out and don t say; hopelessness Also listen for: evasiveness, exaggerations, defensiveness, judging other people s motives, accepting personal responsibility. 4. Listening Has Its Bad Habits 1. Don t interrupt 2. Don t jump to conclusions 3. Don t let your mind wander 4. Don t do distracting things 5. Don t allow the person to waste time 6. Don t hesitate to ask a question if you don t understand 4. How to Interpret Data a. Biblical Examples Mark 10:17-23 Luke 10:

13 b. The Interpretation Process Pray over the data as you compare it to God s Word Look for themes and patterns in the data Make sure the data is labeled and described in a biblical manner Look at every detail of the data Attempt to find the nature and cause of the problems Test the validity of your interpretations Make a strategy to help the person overcome the problems B. Involvement Counseling a believer will be hinder if you are not involved in that person s life. Involvement allows counselors to understand their counselee on a greater level, and it softens the counselee toward their counselor. 1. Some examples of involvement 2 Corinthians 11:29 1 Thessalonians 2:7-9 12

14 2. Definition (Prov 27:6, 9) 3. Things to Consider The person might not have had (or does not have) a relationship like this Your hope might be all that sustains their hope 4. How to Establish Involvement Be Available (Acts 20:31; Gal 6:2, 5) Show Compassion (Heb 4:15-16; Rom 9:1-13) Take Them Seriously (2 Cor 1:2) Persuade but Don t Manipulate Encourage Them with the Confidence to Change (Phil 1:6) Do Not Be Defensive about Their Disagreements (1 Pet 2:17) Hold to Confidentiality (Explain the limits what is biblically allowable) Be Honest Model It for Them Communicate clearly Listen Well (Prov 18:13, 17) Work Always toward a Solution (Labor for them) Pray with Them 13

15 C. Giving Hope 1. Scriptural Support Psalm 42:5; 46:1 Prov 10:28; Rom 15:17 Gal 5:5; Heb 6:18-19; 11: Empty Hope Wrong Goals Denial of Reality Romanticized or Mystical Thinking 3. True Hope It s the Result of Salvation (1 Pet 1:3; 1 Tim 1:1) It s Based upon Scripture (Ps 130:5) It s Realistic (Rom 8:28) It s a Choice (1 Pet 1:13) It s Based on What We Know, not What We Feel (James 1:2-3) 4. How to Give Hope to the Counselee Help Them to Grow (Be by Their Side) Teach Them to Think Biblically Teach the counselee to think biblically about the following: the situation, God s character, the possibility for good, Divine resources, the nature and cause of the problem, about their language/speech Be Solution-Oriented (They should know there IS one!) Model Hope and Victory in Christ 14

16 D. Biblical View of One s Self In order to get your counselee into living in a Christ-like manner, you must show him or her a correct, accurate, and Scriptural view of their own SELF. 1. Correct View of Self Romans 12:3 - Through the grace given to me I say to every man among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith. Self-Love and Self-Esteem Man Has a Tendency to Love Himself (Matt 22:38-40; 2 Tim 3:1-2) Sadly this is shown in Christian circles Paul never mentions that we think too lowly of ourselves, because our tendency is to esteem ourselves higher than we should. We are never called to love ourselves more. 2. Correct View of Problems Saying Your Problems Are Unique Many Christians believe that their problems are unique themselves. However, 1 Cor 10:13 teaches otherwise. We have seen that this implies that we cannot shed our responsibilities by saying our problems are unique. Saying I Can t Discouraged Christians may have the tendency to feel hopeless about their situation. This leads to a defeatist attitude, and they give up with the understanding that they cannot do anything to change their situation 1 Cor 10:13; Rom 8:37-39 Does God ever put Christians into a situation in which He demands behavior of them that He knows they cannot perform? 15

17 3. Correct View of the Past a. Introduction Culture is obsessed over the past a. The world says, You are what your experience has made you It is not about pain and suffering; it is about WORSHIP b. Counselors must get below the experience and into the heart issue c. What is the person worshipping? What things does their heart truly love? What is their treasure (Matt 6)? d. The deeper question is Whom do you serve? b. Two Extremes to Avoid The past is EVERYTHING (Experience is what you are) The past is NOTHING (Never pay attention to the past) c. The Truth about the Past The past is unavoidable The past memories are selective The past is a theological problem The past must be remembered 16

18 E. Biblical Change Every counseling method wants people to change. However, psychotherapists want people to change into a number of different things. But every Christian, on the other hand, must desire other Christians to be more like Christ. Biblical Counseling must change a person into the likeness of Christ. Sometimes suffering comes from the consequences of our sin and the sin of others, but even the response to that suffering must be like Christ. 1. Understanding the Heart a. The Heart is the Source of Behavior In the Bible, the heart is not the seat of emotions. It is control center for planning, purposing, intending and thinking. Emotions are an effect or result of the way you live your life. They stem from what you KNOW to be true. Change is not about modifying behavior. You need to change the heart. b. Heart Chart 17

19 2. How to Bring about Change a. PRAYER: Have them pray daily (Psalm 139:23-24) b. QUESTIONS: Have them ask themselves key HEART questions What are my goals, expectations, or intentions? What do I become anxious over or fearful over? What makes me happy? What motivates me? What would I like, possibly more than anything? What perceived right(s) has been denied In what situation do I respond in anger? What biblical standard or principle permits that thought, word, or action? c. TARGETTING: Have them pinpoint their idol or lust d. CONFESSION: Have them acknowledged that sin and confess it e. REPENTANCE: Have them ask for forgiveness (from God and other party) Things to Note 1) Understand Guilt and the Conscience The conscience is not the ultimate determiner of guilt. You can have an absolutely clear conscience and still be guilty of sin (1 Cor 4:4). Consciences have to be retrained to a biblical standard. Do not incorrectly attempt to eliminate guilt: More sin, drugs, blameshifting, self-esteem, self-gratification. Understand that there is no such thing as false guilt 18

20 True Repentance The word repent means to turn or to change. It is a 180 turn in the opposite direction. It is involved in genuine conversion (2 Cor 7:10), it is continually necessary after conversion (Luke 17:3-4), and it must turn from sin and turn to God for forgiveness and renewal. Essentials of True Repentance 1) Confession and Recognition of Sin (Prov 28:13; 1 John 1:8-9) 2) Choosing to Repent (Isaiah 1:16-17) What is the Result? Forgiveness 1) Reconciliation (with God and man) (Matt 5:24) 2) Godly Sorrow over future sin (2 Cor 7:10) 3) A Changed Lifestyle and Behavior (Gal 5) Forgiveness is a promise of pardon. When God forgives His people, He promises to never hold their sins against them anymore (Jer 31:34). God must forgive man 1) Judicial Forgiveness 2) Parental Forgiveness Man must also forgive 1) When we forgive others, we must remember that God has forgiven us (Matt 6:12-15) 2) When we forgive others, we are promising that we will not remember their sins anymore. I will not remind others of the sin I will not mention it to anyone else I will not allow my mind to dwell upon it 19

21 Other Issues 1) Confronting vs. Covering sin 2) Apologizing vs. asking for forgiveness 3) Forgiving God 4) Forgiving Unbelievers 5) Forgiving the dead 6) Forgiving ourselves f. REPLACEMENT: Have them replace their sin (idol, lust) with worship True biblical change involves the concepts of putting off and a putting on. The old sinful patterns must be replaced with the new godly ones in order to bring about true biblical change. Ephesians 4:17-24 (cf. Col. 3:5-17) Breaking bad habits and establishing biblical ones Other passages: Ps 1:1-2; Rom 13:14; 1 Thess 5:21-22; Heb 10:25; 1 Pet 3:8-9 Examples: Swearing, Lust, Laziness, Being Unloving g. Summary PRAYER: Have them pray daily QUESTIONS: Have them ask themselves key HEART questions TARGETTING: Have them pinpoint their idol or lust (Different for crisis) CONFESSION: Have them acknowledged that sin and confess it REPENTANCE: Have them ask for forgiveness REPLACEMENT: Have them replace their sin (idol, lust) with worship 20

22 3. Understanding Sanctification Remember that growth is progressive (progressive sanctification). People will not change instantly. However, if your counselees are true believers, then they will try to work at killing the sin in their lives and by God s grace it will lessen as they are growing in Christ. This is how to observe change in someone s life. F. Providing Instruction and Homework Bringing someone to true biblical change requires practice. Assigning homework not only teaches principles for them to accept, but it also helps them to put those principles into application. 1. Wrong Ideas About Instruction a. Counseling is all instruction b. Counseling is no or little instruction 2. The Purpose of Homework a. It puts the discussion into action b. It keeps expectations clear (for counselor and counselee) c. It reduces the counselee s dependence on the counselor d. It helps the counselor understand more about the counselee e. It teaches that change can happen instantly and that it is a choice 3. The Elements of Homework a. Assignments must be specific b. Assignments must include changing their thoughts and behaviors c. Assignments need to be appropriate to the heart issue (purposeful) d. Assignments must be followed up and reviewed e. Assignments must be realistic and given in a timely manner 21

23 4. Examples of Homework Here is a list of examples: Scripture Data Gathering Tasks Pamphlets Church attendance, involvement Books Deeds of Love CD s, Sermons Written Homework Assignments Log List (of failures and victories) Other Practical Applications (The Christian life is not isolated) Note: Be discerning in the type of homework you give. Pray over it! 5. Following Up After homework is given, make sure that the check-up session follows up with their progress on the assignment. How do I know that homework has facilitated change? a. The person understands (and can reiterate) the biblical view of their issues and the solutions to them. b. The person is at least trying (genuinely) to understand and to practice the new thought and behavior pattern. (way of thinking and living) c. The person is practicing new behavior right away d. The person analyzes their failures, knows why he/she failed, and makes a plan to correct the issue. e. The person can show exactly how he/she has changed in their life (specifics). f. The person shows that they were tempted/tested but did not succumb g. The person is recognized by others that they have changed. h. The person shares their testimony to others of their progress and begins to counsel and help others. i. The person shows a greater love for Christ and other people. 22

24 G. Synthesizing and Applying Paul Tripp s Four Phases of Counseling 1 Real Examples 1. Welcome: Build a godly relationship with counselees 2. Understand: Gather data that moves toward the heart. 3. Confront and comfort: Help counselees to see themselves biblically and embrace God s promises 4. Action: Apply God s agenda for change to everyday life. 1. Lust (Pornography) What happens when someone approaches you with an addiction with pornography? 2. Depressed Girl (She s not married) What happens when a young woman comes to you because she is depressed over her singleness. 3. Parenting Problem (Mom wants kid to be good at school), What happens when a mother comes to you upset that her kids aren t getting straight A s? 4. Spiritual Disciplines (Bible Reading) What happens when someone comes to you and they struggle with their Bible intake spiritual discipline? 5. Church Involvement (Not Involved) What happens when you re discipling someone who struggles with being involved in the church? 1 Tripp, Instruments in the Redeemer s Hands,