Healing Attachment Injuries with EFT"

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1 Healing Attachment Injuries with EFT" Sam Jinich, PhD! SFCEFT.com" Drsamjinich.com" Holdmetightworkshop.com" " Read more about it 1. Johnson, S.M., Makinen, J.A., and Millikin, J.W. (2001). AIachment Injuries in Couples RelaMonships: A New PerspecMve On Impasses In Couples Therapy. Journal of Marital Therapy and Family Therapy Vol. 27(2). 2. Makinen, J. and Johnson, S.M. (2006). Resolving AIachment Injuries in Couples Using EmoMonally Focused Therapy: Steps Toward Forgiveness and ReconciliaMon Journal of ConsulMng and Clinical Psychology Vol. 74(6). 3. Zuccarini, D., Johnson S.M., Dalgleish, T.L., and Makinen, J.A. (2013). Forgiveness and ReconciliaMon in EmoMonally Focused Therapy For Couples: The Client Change Process and Therapist IntervenMons Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, Vol. 39(2) pp

2 AIachment Injury Defined AIachment Injury is conceptualized as a wound that occurs when one partner fails to respond to the other in a crimcal Mme of need, and this incident then becomes a clinically recurring theme and creates a barrier to relamonship repair. The injury is considered a trauma. Partners remain stuck in an injury- specific, rigid, interacmon cycle fueled by secondary emomonal responses. 2

3 Key AIachment Injuries: Examples of moments of high need. During Times of Fragility During Times of Need During Times of Loss During Times of Illness During Times of Trauma During Times of Uncertainty During Times of TransiMon CharacterisMcs of AIachment Injury A betrayal of trust Abandonment at a crucial moment of need. Form of relamonship trauma Defines the relamonship as insecure. Create impasses in relamonship repair. AIachment significance not content is key. Indelible imprint the only way out is through. 3

4 AIachment Injuries Signs: Long- lasmng emomonal wounds PTSD View of Self Inability to forgive Pivotal moment now defines the relamonship When do you do the steps of repair? In Stage 1: Process the aiachment injury and its impact on their presenmng negamve cycle. Deepen only enough to access the aiachment emomons that were triggered. 4

5 When do you do the steps? In Stage 2: The deeper aiachment injury repair and forgiveness work happens here. The injured partner goes first. Phase 1 Cycle De- escalamon Related to the injury AIachment Injury ResoluMon Model (AIRM) Phase 2 Injury- Specific EmoMonal Engagement (WRE/PS)* Forgiveness And ReconciliaMon * Hurt partner goes first Phase 3 Acceptance of Apology Expression of AIachment needs Responsiveness 5

6 AIachment Injury ResoluMon Model 1) The hurt partner begins to describe an incident in which he/she felt abandoned, betrayed, devalued or helpless. " 4) The injuring partner unpacks secondary emotions, owns responsibility and expresses empathy, regret and is open to the Attachment Significance for hurt partner." 7) The hurt partner accepts the apology and is open to partner s emotional expressions, and risks asking for Attachment Needs." 2) Injuring partner acknowledges the hurt partner s pain and suffering and elaborates on how the event evolved for him/her." 5) The hurt partner does the equivalent of Step 5 in EFT and deeply processes their primary vulnerable attachmentrelated emotions related to incident." 3) The hurt partner unpacks secondary emotion, negative models of self and other, and the attachment significance the event had for him/her." 6) Injuring partner is emotionally accessible, expresses remorse, regret, empathy, responsibility and offers a good apology. Promote Acceptance by hurt partner." 8) The other responds in a caring manner creating an antidote bonding event. Relationship is redefined as a potential safe haven." 6

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