A Skit/Spoof Based on the absence of the Twelve Traditions of AA

Transcription

1 A Skit/Spoof Based on the absence of the Twelve Traditions of AA by Sober Cat - Nov 2112 As the scene opens the AA meeting has just started. It hasn t been a meeting for very long. Members around the table are: Bob, John, Mary, Jean, Joe, Lisa, Susan, K niah and Thoma who has been asked to chair the meeting. Bob is the secretary and he says: let s start the meeting with a moment of silence and the Serenity Prayer. He then reads the Serenity Prayer and the group speaks it with him. Bob then reads the AA Preamble, and asks: Mary would you please read How It Works. Mary: This is how it works from Chapter Five. She then reads it. Bob then says: We are self supporting through our own contributions. Bob then asks: Are there any newcomers here tonight? A newcomer is anyone with less than 30 days of sobriety. K niah speaks up: I m K niah and I m an alcoholic, I ve 10 days without drinking today. Bob says: Welcome K niah The Group says: Welcome, congratulations, keep coming back! <not in sinc> Bob then asks: Are there any AA members with birthday s who wish to be recognized? We don t have any chips yet, but we may get some in the future. Mary speaks: I just celebrated one year sobriety last week. Everyone claps their hands and Bob says: Congratulations Mary! Bob then tells the group: This is Thoma. I ve asked her to chair the meeting for us tonight. Bob turns too Thoma and says: Thoma please give us a short talk about what it was like, what happened, and what it s like now, in a general way, as listed in Chapter Five of the Big Book. Thoma speaks: My name is Thoma and I m an addict. I m addicted to everything and I m even addicted to alcohol. I know that all my life, if something felt good, tasted good, looked good, smelled good, then I always wanted more of what ever it was after trying it once. I used lots of drugs of various kinds. Some were narcotic, some were sedative, and some were prescription medicine of various kinds. When I took a pill, I needed another. Also I ve always had a problem with eating, and sex. Both are addictive to me. I can t just have a little food or a little sex...and I also have a problem with gambling...my life has been crazy. It started to change when I found a 12 step program through my church. I started to work the steps there and then I went to church every week... Mary interrupts: Hold it! I thought that this was an AA meeting. What is all the drug and sex and other stuff being spoken here? Bob intervenes: Well, this is an open meeting so anyone can attend...besides Thoma has an interesting story. I think that we will all enjoy hearing it. Go ahead Thoma... Thoma continues to speak: Well, I did drink some alcohol a time or two, but only when I couldn t get some drugs. Anyway to cut my story short one day a friend of mine gave me a book. This book in fact <she holds up a copy of the Hazelden 24 Hours Page -1-

2 a Day book called by some the Little Black Book > This book got me in touch with God. That s how come I went to the church to begin with. I couldn t live without it now. Let me read something here from it. Again Mary interrupts: If this is an AA meeting then isn t using other literature like a Hazelden book breaking our traditions? Hazelden is maybe the largest group of treatment centers in the whole world, or anyway in the United States? Bob speaks up: Oh pooh...all the old timers used that little black book and brought it to meetings. Besides what s it matter what book we learn from? It s alright Thoma, go ahead. Now Jean interrupts Bob and Thoma: Bob that should be a group decision. You are not the boss here. I think that is in the traditions somewhere...no bosses. Anyway if it s not it should be a rule. Joe interrups: Let her speak, I ve used drugs also...think I m hooked on the sex also...haha <several group members laugh> Bob says: Traditions! We don t do them at this meeting. What do they have to do with anything? We have an open meeting here...those things are archaic. We don t need them! Bob picks up the basket: Lets pass around the basket so we can be self-supporting while we talk about this. He hands the basket to Thoma. <As the basket goes around everyone there puts some money into the basket.> Jean speaks up: Talking about traditions, you say we don t do the traditions here but you ve just passed the basket so we can be self supporting. That s the Seventh Tradition. What s with that? Maybe we should talk about the Traditions and just what they mean. Does anyone here know just what they mean? Do we have a copy of them anywhere? Lisa speaks up: Yes, I know something about them. And there is a copy in the back of the Big Book. Is there a Big Book anywhere here? Bob says: Well I don t have one here. I ve never needed one at the meeting before. John speaks up: I ve got one in my car. If we can wait a second, I ll run out and get it. Jean, Bob and Lisa all say: Sure we ll wait, yep, go get it. <Not in sinc> John says okay: <He gets up and walks out toward his car.> John returns and says: Here it is. <He hands it to Lisa and he sits down again.> Now K niah gets into the conversation: This is stupid! Why does it matter. We re here to help each other aren t we? And besides no one can tell our group what to do can they? I m outta here! And she gets up and leaves the meeting. Thoma speaks: I certainly never meant to start a controversy. Bob just asked me to share some of my story of recovery. That s all I intended to do. Bob now says: Lisa, lets take a look at those traditions you and Mary were speaking about. Lisa opens the book and says: Just a moment. I ll try to find them. I know they are in here somewhere. She struggles to find them then looks in the index and finally finds the page number. Here they are in Appendix I. Page -2-

3 Bob looks at Lisa: Well, what do they say? Lisa then says: Well I ll read them for us. And she reads all twelve of the traditions. John speaks up: Those sound interesting. I think we should look at them in relation to our meeting, don t you guys? Mary adds: Yes I do, and maybe one at a time and discuss what they mean. John also adds a suggestion: Lets go through them better at another time but let s specifically look at them today in respect to Mary and Jeans objections. Bob asks Lisa: Lisa, please read them one at a time and we ll look at them individually. We ll have to hurry though as we don t have too much time left. <Lisa reads tradition #1> One Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity. Bob speaks up: Well this is pretty easy to understand don t you think? If AA dies then probably we don t recover. Lets go on. <Lisa reads tradition #2> Two For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. Jean exclaims: This is the one that I was talking about. No bosses! Bob looks at Jean: I see what you are talking about. But I didn t want to be boss, just wanted the meeting to be a good one. <Lisa reads tradition #3> Three The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking. John looks at Thoma: well, you could belong if you have a desire to stop drinking... Mary interrupts: Lets look at the next ones and we can come back to this one if we need too. <Lisa reads tradition #4> Four Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole. Bob starts to say something but Lisa says something first: So doesn t this mean that we can do what ever we wish with and in our group? Bob then adds: Well, I think so. Would the way we run things hurt AA as a whole? Mary adds: Well, this really has a possibility of affecting other groups when newcomer s learn to talk about drug use here and then go to other meetings or start them later themselves. It might sound remote, but still it could have an affect at other groups. <Lisa reads tradition #5> Five Each group has but one primary purpose to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers. Susan now speaks and looks very thoughtful: Wow! So we only carry the message of AA to alcoholics. If we attempt to carry it to addicts or others then we are not doing it correctly because we d be carrying something we know nothing about. So, if we can t carry it to others then how could others who weren t alcoholics carry a correct message to us? I m beginning to see what this stuff is all about. I hope that we can talk about the traditions again sometime. Page -3-

4 <Lisa reads tradition #6> Six An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose. Susan again speaks up: Uh Oh...here it is. So using that little black book 24 Hours a Day could imply affiliation with treatment centers around the country. Hazelden treatment centers. I see what you were talking about Mary. It would be against our traditions because anyone who seen us using it at a meeting level and didn t know the difference would think maybe we are a part of that Hazelden treatment center stuff. Joe speaks: I know many people who have that book at home and use it. I have it myself...what s the matter with that? Lisa: Nothing, if it s at home. There are no bosses here and only suggestions, but still in an AA meeting it would seem to me that AA literature is what we really need to read from. If we get into other stuff then we could very easily get confused about just who and what we are. <Lisa reads tradition #7> Seven Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. Susan starts to speak but Jean beats her to it: So here is the one that I was talking about. We are using the traditions! Susan now says: Yes, but according to this anyone who is not a member of Alcoholics Anonymous shouldn t put money in the basket. We cannot accept donations from outsiders. Now, I d like to know...thoma are you an alcoholic or not? Did you have a problem with alcohol and if so do you have a desire to stop drinking? The drugs don t matter here. Thoma looks flustered: I...uh, well my problem really was prescription drugs. I drink a little sometimes, but not enough that it affects me much. I guess that I d have to say no. At least...well, I ll have to think on it. John adds to the conversation: Well, Thoma, if you don t know then you are a visitor, which it fine, but we can t accept your donations... Bob agrees: You know, I didn t know all of this when I asked you to chair our meeting Thoma. Here s your money back. But I will say that I m very happy that I did it because we are leaning so much about how our group should be run. I just didn t know these things. No one told me before. <Lisa reads tradition #8> Eight Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers. <no one wants to say anything on this tradition> Finally Bob speaks up: Well, I think that we need to talk about this one at another time. And speaking about time, we are almost out of it for today. <Lisa reads tradition #> Nine A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve. <again no one says anything> Bob says: Let s pass on this one for today also. We ll have a meeting soon where we can look closer at these traditions. <Lisa reads tradition #10> Ten Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy. Mary speaks: This is pretty obvious to me. We should only talk AA stuff and not religion or politics and such, don t you think? John adds: you are right Mary. Let s go on. Page -4-

5 <Lisa reads tradition #11> Eleven Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films. Lisa now adds: Anonymity, just what is that about? Isn t it to keep things a secret or something like that? Bob, looking thoughtful says: It looks to me like it means that we need to keep secret as to who we are, at least if we are on the radio and stuff like that. What do you think Joe? <Bob attempts to bring Joe back into the conversation> Joe responds: Well, it says radio, films, and press, that must mean newspapers so what I think it means is that we keep our identify to ourselves if we are doing that stuff. Mary says: It make sense to me. We might get a big head and then we d want to be boss, which just ain t gonna happen here! <She smiles at Bob> <Lisa reads tradition #12> Twelve Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities. No one speaks up so Bob asks: Does anyone know just what this means? Bob says: Well, we are out of time today. Let s get together after the meeting and talk about having another meeting to talk about this subject. It s really been a good meeting even though we have had some controversy tonight. It may in fact have been the best one that I ve ever been in recently. I ve learned so much tonight. I want to continue to learn. Bob then turns to Thoma: Thoma, I m sorry for this mess but still it s been good for me. Do you know the Lord s Prayer? Weill you lead us in closing the meeting please. rd Mary speaks up: How about using the 3 step prayer? You know that we are talking about using only AA stuff here tonight... Jean says: I love the Lords Prayer, but in light of looking at these traditions and affiliation in Tradition six I agree. Bob asks the group: How about a group conscious on which prayer to use? What do you all think? Joe exclaimes: Great idea! John and Susan both speak: Neat. Let s use the third step prayer. Where do we find it? Lisa then says: It s in Chapter five I think. Here I ll look it up. rd Bob then asks the group: So does everybody agree? This group will use the 3 Step prayer in closing? Everyone except Thoma says: Yes. <not in sinc> <Bob then turns to Thoma in a effort to help her not feel left out.> Thoma will you read the prayer for us and we ll follow? <Lisa hands her the Big Book opened to page 63.> Thoma starts the prayer: God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always! Page -5-