A Parent s Guide to Gifted Children. Chapter 4: Motivation, Enthusiasm and Underachievement

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1 A Parent s Guide to Gifted Children Chapter 4: Motivation, Enthusiasm and Underachievement Chapter 4 in A Parent s Guide to Gifted Children focuses on keeping children interested in and motivated about learning. Underachievement in gifted children is also addressed. And while this information won t apply to all of our GATE parents, it is helpful, especially for parents and teachers of secondary students, to understand the factors that may affect a child s levels of motivation. The following paragraphs briefly summarize the chapter s highlights. Most summary paragraphs conclude with an open-ended question that we hope parents will answer. Why is the sky blue? Why do they call it Wisconsin? How do mamma animals know when their babies are hungry? Babies crawl around with an innate desire to discover. Toddlers keep us entertained with a barrage of thought-provoking questions. Young children are extremely proud to share something they created. Preschoolers and kindergartners look forward with great enthusiasm to that first day of school. Why do some children lose that sense of wonder, curiosity and enthusiasm for learning? Unfortunately, according to the authors, the roots of underachievement in middle and high school are sometimes planted in the elementary grades when a child s curriculum is not appropriately challenging. For Discussion: How can we be sure that our children are provided with an early educational environment that will stimulate a child s love for learning? Now think back to your own middle school years. School was important, but most likely you were more interested in and worried about your social life. During what are sometimes described as the tumultuous years, adolescents are more stressed and vulnerable to the emotional influence of peer interactions. Ultimately, socialization takes precedence over education. It is a time when parents may start hearing.. School is boring. I know I can t do it so why should I even try? Why do I need to learn this? How will I ever use it in real life? I am going to do just enough to get by with a C because a C is passing. I have a stomach ache. Can I stay home from school today? Why does Mr. Smith always tell me that I am not working to my potential? The older a child, the more serious the consequences of underachievement and motivation problems. We need to have answers not only to these students

2 questions, but more importantly, we need to have the answers to why students are asking these questions. For Discussion: Why might students be asking these kinds of questions? How might we address their questions? According to the authors, there are a variety of factors that may influence why one child is motivated and another gives up before she tries. Recognizing and understanding these factors are the first steps in keeping children interested and involved. Health: Lack of sleep, poor eating habits, lingering infections, hearing or visual impairments or other physical reasons will affect a person s motivation. These potential influences should be ruled out before considering other factors. Family: Family roles, structure, expectations, life style, affect a child s motivation. When families have worries to deal with, education may become less of a priority. Sometimes responsibilities or conflicts at home require so much energy that there is simply little left for school. Gifted children, who are often intense and sensitive, seem to pick up on family tensions that parents are hoping to keep private. For Discussion: What are some successful strategies for helping gifted students deal with stress? Expectations: Whether from society, parents, teachers or self-imposed, expectations drive all of us. Setting extreme standards (too high or too low) will turn students off to school. Researchers have found that students learn best in what is labeled their zone of proximal development (ZPD). This zone is a cognitive region just beyond what a learner can do without help and what he can do with help. There is just enough challenge to be stimulating, but not so much that it will frustrate the child. The authors encourage parents and teachers to establish goals and talk about clear expectations with their children. Motivation and success go hand-in-hand. Motivation breeds success and success breeds motivation. Before a child is willing to learn, he must believe that he can do it and that someone else, a parent, teacher, sibling or even a friend believes in him, too. For Discussion: How can parents foster a sense of long-term motivation? Relationships: Children want to fit in with their peers. I remember reading about a survey where students were asked if they had ever pretended to be something they weren t. A compelling number of students answered with comments similar to, Yes, sometimes I act like I am not as intelligent as I really am because my friends will call me a nerd or teacher s pet. For some students, underachieving is a way to gain

3 popularity. I have talked with parents of underachieving students and they expressed their concerns about their child s friends. We can t pick our children s friends, but there are opportunities for us to encourage good peer interactions. For Discussion: How would you respond to a child who told you they were dumbing down because they were worried what their peers might say? What are some specific opportunities for encouraging positive peer interactions? School: Underachievement is often a catch-all term that means different things to different people. Researchers have found that each of us uses only a small percentage of our total brain capacity and we have all procrastinated on projects, activities or responsibilities. However, the underachievers described in this chapter are students who have a significant gap between their potential and what they produce and achieve in school. Many times the make-up of a school system itself contributes to underachievement. The conforming nature of the school setting, inappropriate curriculum, time spent on drill activities, and inflexibility in scheduling, types of activities or curricular content can be factors. When you think about it, the first six to nine years of school have few opportunities for student choice. Secondary students have more choice in the level and content area they take and even in how long they stay in school. For Discussion: What are the roots of students motivation to learn? What motivates your child to want to learn? The Author s Eight Practical Steps Help Your Child Discover Her Passions: What drives your child? Maybe she is passionate about reading, but she only wants to read magazines. The authors suggest that you let her read magazines because at least she is reading. You should, however, find a connection between her passion for reading and what she is learning in school. Eventually she will transfer that enthusiasm to other reading materials. Involve Your Child in Self-Management: Engage your child by involving him in establishing goals, and decision-making opportunities. Provide him with opportunities to work independently. When your child is faced with a dilemma, offer a solution and encourage him to come up with his own answer and criteria for choosing the best alternative.

4 Create a Climate for Motivation: Families that provide high but reasonable expectations along with emotional support are more likely to produce children who live up to their abilities. Model lifelong learning and perseverance to continue building knowledge even after mastery. Avoid Power Struggles: Remember it takes at least two people to be in a power struggle. If you find yourself in one, suggest to your child that you both take a break for awhile and then reconvene when the two of you can come up with positive solutions. Avoid Yes, buts.. ( You did well, but it would have been better if you had. ) Develop a Positive Relationship: A positive relationship is the most powerful factor in motivation. Gifted children thrive in a mutually respectful, nonauthoritarian, flexible, questioning atmosphere. They need reasonable rules and guidelines, strong support and encouragement, consistently positive feedback and help to accept some limitations their own, as well as those of others. Although these principles are appropriate for all children, parents of gifted children, believing that advanced intellectual ability also means advanced social and emotional skills, may allow their children excessive decision-making power before they have the wisdom and experience to handle such responsibility. (Rimm, 1986) Challenge, but Provide Support: How much should a parent push? The authors suggest the following guideline, If by pushing more you are jeopardizing your relationship with your child, then you should pull back at least temporarily until you can ascertain that your relationship will withstand initiating future requests. Challenging activities are more engaging than rote memorization. Incorporating challenge will provide the necessary support that leads to success and will build both confidence and a desire to keep going. Establish Appropriate Goals: Collaborate on concrete steps needed to attain both school and nonschool related goals. Recognize each accomplishment along the way, no matter how big or small. Encourage your child to learn from his mistakes it s part of the learning process. Communicate with your child s teacher(s). Gifted children must learn the skills associated with getting and achieving goals, even more than the typical child because of the gifted child s tendency toward goal vaulting. Build on Success: Focus on your child s efforts, not just the outcomes. Guide them toward activities and opportunities that reflect their values, interests, strengths and needs. Make sure they experience the satisfaction of successful perseverance through obstacles and that challenges are opportunities to learn and grow. We want our children to be happy, healthy, self-confident, motivated and successful. Finding that right balance of nurturing emotional development and fostering achievement is ongoing. How do we do it? That question is almost a holy grail for us.

5 Frequent Reasons for Underachievement and Decreased Motivation It is an attempt to fit in with peers because high achievement is not valued by peers. The assigned tasks just do not seem interesting, relevant or important to the child s life. The underachievement is an expression of the child s desire to show independence. A child can gain power by taking control away from parents and teachers. A child may express anger against parent or teachers by going on strike. It is sometimes easier to drop out than to go along with others demands. A child may fear that success will result in pressures and others will expect more of him/her. It is a way to get attention from others. It avoids risk-taking; saying I really didn t try, can save face. It s an expression of dependency to get others to give attention and sympathize. There is too much emphasis put on extrinsic incentives for achievement rather than the intrinsic rewards of learning. The child is unable to think about or plan for future goals. The child has poor study habits and has not learned ways to organize materials. The child is distractible and impulsive, which hinders persistent academic work. The child is disheartened because of a learning disability. The child is preoccupied with other concerns such as family conflict. The child feels misunderstood, not valued, is discouraged, and has a low self-concept or even depression.