Social-Emotional Development in Young Children

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1 Social-Emotional Development in Young Children Children learn many things during their early development..walking, talking, counting, singing, etc. They also learn to feel confident, safe and encouraged. However, these skills and feelings are learned differently than other developmental skills. Loving relationships provide opportunities to learn and develop social-emotional skills. They also provide ways for children to learn how to develop friendships and deal with challenges. Strong positive relationships also help children develop trust, empathy, compassion and a sense of right and wrong. (Zerotothree.org). Parents and caregivers have numerous opportunities to help children develop positive social skills during development. Birth to 12 months: From the beginning, children are learning. They learn who they are by how they are treated. Caregivers send many messages through actions every day. Children may feel they are loved, they are funny and that caregivers enjoy them. What You Can Do: Give responsive care. This means matching your care to what your baby needs. Take the time to think about what your baby s behavior means and find a way to support him. Get to know your baby. Know favorite items, likes/dislikes, etc. Build collaborative relationships with your child s caregiver(s). Find out information about your child s day at daycare/babysitter, etc. Tell them what they like and how you care for your child at home.

2 Support developing skills. As your child learns new skills, give them just enough help that they can complete a challenge without major frustration. Delight in your child s discoveries. Have fun and enjoy when they find you while playing peek a boo, etc. Build on skills already developed. If your child can stack two blocks, you stack a third and let them do the fourth, etc. Be affectionate and nurturing. Hold, rock, sing to your child. Parent need to do this when their children are cute and cuddly, but also when they are fussy, crying or colicky. Children will learn they are loved for who they are, not just because they are being good. Give hugs and kisses Be patient during tough behavior. Babies cry and fuss. When you can be patient and care for your child when they are difficult, they learn trust and that they can rely on their caregivers. Help your child feel safe and secure. Responding to your baby helps them feel safe. Children feel secure when they experience lots of affection and predictability. They are learning to trust that others will be there for them and that builds confidence. Be a home base for your child. Babies crawl away, but they often want to come and check in with caregivers and parents. Let them explore but come back for reassurance as needed. Establish routines. Routine helps children feel confident and in control months: During this time, toddlers are becoming self aware. They start to learn that other people have thoughts and feelings that may be different from theirs. When children realize this, they can develop empathy. Empathy is the ability to put one s self in another person s shoes and imagine what they are feeling. During this age range, children are becoming interested in others, but still don t typically play with each other. They do parallel play where play is done beside each other but not interactively.

3 What You Can Do: Continue to support developing skills. Continue to provide just enough help to keep toddlers from becoming overly frustrated, but let them do tasks on their own. Help your toddler become a problem solver. Let your child figure problems out on their own. Don t always step in and perform the tasks without giving your child a chance. Praise the process, not just the result. Toddlers should feel good about their efforts, not just the results. Praising the process helps toddlers learn to be persistent and keep trying. Help children learn how to resolve conflict in a healthy way. Toddlers have little self control, so they are not typically very good at waiting. They also have a hard time stopping themselves from acting on their desires. Toddlers often have trouble following rules.particularly with sharing. Provide support to toddlers playing in a group. Show toddlers how to share. To encourage compliance, use a timer to help keep track of taking turns and help toddlers learn how to wait. Help toddlers get involved in other activities while waiting for a desired object. Play turn taking games. Distract or redirect the child to reduce conflicts. Discussion does not work with toddlers. Distract them with other activities. Help your child feel safe and secure. Our world can be a scary place for toddlers. They may wander into a strange or unknown place even in their home. Now that they can move, they may be able to reach things or find things not known before. Encourage safe exploration and give the support and reassurance they need. Be a safe home base for your toddler. Just like with babies, be there for your child to check in during an adventure. Toddlers especially will move away from parents, but need to look back or come back to check in and get reassurance. Establish routines and traditions. If toddlers can predict what comes next, they feel more safe, confident and in control. Keep daily routines, with the same things happening at the same time each day. When a transition is coming, give notice.

4 24-36 months: During this time, children will start to play interactively with each other. Pretend play will develop as well. This play builds language, thinking and social skills when children role play and make up stories from their own ideas. Children of this age are able to have empathy as well. They may comfort another peer or is hurt or cry when someone is upset. Conflict resolution skills are still developing, as one of a toddler s favorite words is no. Turn taking skills and sharing are still developing and will continue throughout childhood. What You Can Do: Help your toddler understand their feelings. Toddlers will start to develop more complex feelings and may experience more complex feelings like embarrassment, jealousy and shame. Help your child make sense of these by using words to describe the emotion. This will encourage your child to be able to talk about feelings instead of just acting on them. Explore feelings through play. Use puppets, dolls or other toys to talk about feelings. You can also use art activities like coloring or drawing to explore feelings. Be a careful observer. Children will often tell you how they feel in play. If you see concerns, play along and help children better understand situations. Help your child express his feelings in age-appropriate ways. Children need acceptable ways to share feelings. Let your child have a way to express themselves in a safe way. Some examples may be ripping paper (not important papers!), stomp feet or throw a foam ball in a safe setting. This will encourage children to use healthy, non-hurtful ways of expressing feelings. Encourage early friendships. Playing together can give children opportunities to practice social skills like sharing, taking turns and resolving conflicts. Try to provide your child fun opportunities in a safe, supportive environment for play. Offer play activities that don t require sharing. Some examples may be art activities, sand play, water play, etc. Ask your child to think about how their behavior may affect others.

5 Make a friend book. Take photos of your child s friends and make a book of them. Help your toddler to see others points of view. This will encourage empathy. Let your child take the lead when deciding what to play. Comment on and describe what your child is doing. Get involved in child s play and follow their lead. Participate in a picnic or help prepare food. This helps children learn about the pleasure of interactive play. Support older toddlers developing skills. As in other stages, provide just enough help to limit frustration. Let children attempt to master skills on their own and build on what they already know. Empathize with frustration. Ask if the child knows what the problem is. Offer observations Ask if they have ideas how to correct problem Give suggestions Provide support to be successful Praise the process, not just the result. This helps children to learn that persistence is as important as succeeding. Help your child learn to resolve conflict in healthy, appropriate ways. Toddlers can still struggle with sharing, turn taking and following rules, as they are still developing self-control. Caregivers can help by calming going through the process of resolving conflict. Conflict resolution is an ongoing skill that will continue to develop throughout childhood/adolescence and adulthood. Keep it simple. Use as few words as possible and talk in a calm voice. Review what happened. Point out consequences Brainstorm better choices.

6 Use language to describe feelings and experiences. We often tell toddlers to use their words but many times they lack their words to describe feelings. Help your child name their feelings and practice ways to manage emotions. Put your child s feelings into words and share your own feelings. Read books about feelings. Learning appropriate social-emotional skills is a process that extends well into adolescence and even adulthood. By paying attention to this area of development, parents and caregivers can help children start on the path to being well-adjusted young people. References: Bayley Scales of Infant and Toddler Development, Third Edition Social-Emotional and Adaptive Behavior Questionnaire