At the Starting Line: Five Manhood Promises Lesson F1.1

Transcription

1 At the Starting Line: Five Manhood Promises Lesson F1.1

2

3 Lesson Instructions All rights reserved. These masters are intended for reproduction only by the organization that purchased them. The curriculum may not be shared with other centers or posted on the Internet. Not for use in churches. Contact for church materials. Published by: The Heritage House 76, Inc. 919 So. Main St. Snowflake, AZ Suitable for: Male clients who are fathers or may become fathers. Time Frame: Any time curriculum is needed to help the husband or partner of the female client understand his important role as a man. Lesson Objective: To provide an introduction and overview of the series and to begin to develop an understanding of manhood. Instructions: Show DVD 1: At the Starting Line: Five Manhood Promises, from the series The Quest for Authentic Manhood. After the DVD, discuss questions with your client. Homework: Copy and give the client the homework. Supplies: DVD 1 (42 minutes): At the Starting Line: Five Manhood Promises. Note: You do not need to remove the master sheets from the protective plastic to copy. You can copy right through the plastic. Start with the last page first and move forward so your copies will come out in order. This lesson introduces The Quest for Authentic Manhood. It describes the difficulties that today s men have growing into authentic manhood. Five goals for the series are presented Heritage House 76, Inc Earn While You Learn, Module F1 9

4 DVD Worksheet, Page 1 If You Stick with It... This DVD series can richly reward you. You will grow in your understanding of what makes you tick and what makes (or made) your dad tick. Your new confidence will help you take on your true role as a man. Some of these questions do not require a written answer. They will be discussed after the DVD. These will have a (*) at the beginning of the question. For others you will fill in the information from the DVD. Fill in the written questions as you listen but don t worry if you don t get all of them. Your client advocate will go over this sheet with you. Don t be afraid to ask questions and to discuss your points of view. This is how we learn. 1. The purpose of The Quest for Authentic Manhood is for you to become a. 2. The gear you need to complete this series is: 1. Toughness 2. A to be real with other men, and 3. The to examine your life. 3. There are five presuppositions that Dr. Lewis talks about. A presupposition is something that we believe to be true before we even begin to talk about it. Fill in the missing words: 1. Manhood is in a state of. 2. Confused men create. 3. Confused men in their lives. 4. Today there is no lofty of manhood that is compelling. The Bible has a lot to say about the problems of manhood today. 5. The has insights to all of the above. 4. * Fathers come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Which would best describe your dad? 1. He was just never there - my parents divorced, my mom never married, my dad left home when I was young. 2. He was in the home, but he was too busy to take time with me. 3. He was there, and we did lots of things together, but I could never talk to him about important matters. 4. He was my best friend, and there was nothing I couldn t ask him. 5. * The Industrial Revolution, World War II, and Feminism changed the way a father and son worked together Heritage House 76, Inc Earn While You Learn, Module F1 10

5 DVD Worksheet, Page 2 1. In your own words, how did a dad s role change when the Industrial Revolution began? The Industrial Revolution began in America in the late 1800s and changed our country from one of farmers to one of factory workers. 2. World War II changed how men thought about the world. Name one good trait and one bad trait that most men brought home from the war. 3. How did feminism (the belief in equality of the sexes, but often taken to the extreme) confuse the role of men in the 1970s? 6. Dr. Lewis promised you five things if you complete this series. Fill in the missing words: America entered World War II in By the war s end in 1945, the lives of millions of dads and dads-to-be had changed forever. 1. You will have a clear of manhood. 2. You will develop a new manhood. 3. You will make significant about yourself. 4. You will make new who are pursuing a common goal. 5. You will have your own personal manhood Heritage House 76, Inc Earn While You Learn, Module F1 11

6 DVD Worksheet Key, Page 1 If You Stick with It... This DVD series can richly reward you. You will grow in your understanding of what makes you tick and what makes (or made) your dad tick. Your new confidence will help you take on your true role as a man. Some of these questions do not require a written answer. They will be discussed after the DVD. These will have a (*) at the beginning of the question. For others you will fill in the information from the DVD. Fill in the written questions as you listen but don t worry if you don t get all of them. Your client advocate will go over this sheet with you. Don t be afraid to ask questions and to discuss your points of view. This is how we learn. 1. The purpose of The Quest for Authentic Manhood is for you to become a better man. 2. The gear you need to complete this series is: 1. Toughness 2. A willingness to be real with other men, and 3. The courage to examine your life. 3. There are five presuppositions that Dr. Lewis talks about. A presupposition is something that we believe to be true before we even begin to talk about it. Fill in the missing words: 1. Manhood is in a state of confusion. 2. Confused men create major problems. 3. Confused men settle for less in their lives. The Bible has a lot to say about the problems of manhood today. 4. Today there is no lofty vision of manhood that is compelling. 5. The Bible has insights to all of the above. 4. * Fathers come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Which would best describe your dad? 1. He was just never there - my parents divorced, my mom never married, my dad left home when I was young. 2. He was in the home, but he was too busy to take time with me. 3. He was there, and we did lots of things together, but I could never talk to him about important matters. 4. He was my best friend and there was nothing I couldn t ask him. Answers will vary. Nonjudgmental or even sympathetic discussion can give you insight into the client s needs Heritage House 76, Inc Earn While You Learn, Module F1 12

7 DVD Worksheet Key, Page 2 5. * The Industrial Revolution, World War II, and feminism changed the way a father and son worked together. 1. In your own words, how did a dad s role change when the Industrial Revolution began? The Industrial Revolution began in America in the late 1800 s and changed our country from one of farmers to one of factory workers. Answers will vary: Sons and fathers no longer worked side by side on the farm. Dads left home each day to work in the factories. Sons lost the ability to see their dads at their best, and now saw them exhausted after work. Sons lost the vital modeling that came from their dad at work. Moms took over the role of raising, educating, and disciplining sons. 2. World War II changed how men thought about the world. Name one good trait and one bad trait that most men brought home from the war. Answers will vary: Good traits - include sacrifice, duty, a commitment to hard work. Bad traits include taking parenting too lightly, becoming emotionally disconnected from their sons, and working too much. 3. How did feminism (the belief in equality of the sexes but often taken to the extreme) confuse the role of men in the 1970s? America entered World War II in By the war s end in 1945, the lives of millions of dads and dads-to-be had changed forever. Answers will vary: Feminism tried to make the roles of men and women identical. As a movement, it brought women many new rights and opportunities. However, it ignored the natural role of men and made it hard for a father to pass along a clear concept of what it means to be a man to his son. 6. Dr. Lewis promised you five things if you complete this series. Fill in the missing words: 1. You will have a clear definition of manhood. 2. You will develop a new manhood language. 3. You will make significant personal discoveries about yourself. 4. You will make new friends who are pursuing a common goal. 5. You will have your own personal manhood plan Heritage House 76, Inc Earn While You Learn, Module F1 13

8 Homework, Page 1 The Quiet Cowboy Approach Often men don t like to talk about themselves much, or even to talk at all for that matter. But this series is about men helping other men understand what it is to be a real man in today s society. It s tough to share valuable life experiences without at least a little talking to each other. Getting to Know You Most of your homework sessions will deal more with what you learned in the DVD. But since we are just getting started on our journey, it s a good time to get to know a little bit about you. As the series progresses, you will find that some things that Dr. Lewis speaks about apply directly to you - they kind of hit you right between the eyes - and others don t. It really depends on how you were brought up. With that in mind, answer the questions below. Your answers will help the person taking you through this series to understand how to make the material more meaningful to you. 1. Who raised you at the different ages shown below? (Write the answer on the line below the numbers.) Example: Age: _mom and dad_ mom grandma Age: How many brothers and sisters lived with you? Did any live elsewhere? 3. Who usually made the decisions about where you could go, who you could go out with, and what time you had to be home? 4. How did your school years go with your parent(s)? Circle the best word(s) to describe grade school; underline the word(s) that would describe high school: happy chaotic unpredictable angry scary sad fun depressing 5. How would you describe your mom in a couple of words? 6. How would you describe your dad in a couple words? Heritage House 76, Inc Earn While You Learn, Module F1 14

9 Homework, Page 2 The Grass Is Always Greener... It always seems as if other families and other men don t have problems. The truth is, every family and every man encounters rough spots in life. It s how we overcome these things that make us who we are. 7. Did you move a lot, or did you live mostly in one place? 8. Did you ever envy someone else because their dad was the kind of person you wished your dad could be? If so, what was that dad like? 9. Circle the words that you would apply to your dad: hardworking lazy smart poor talented depressed strong disliked mouthy strict quiet admired by all honest jerky too busy feared by others ambitious drug user dishonest funny a loner never there caring warm hated me demanding friendly self-centered a great man argued a lot kind forgiving loving immature bossy cruel positive safe to talk to religious generous dangerous drunken wild rude conceited reliable my best friend trusting of you 9. Circle the words that you would apply to your mom: hardworking lazy smart poor talented depressed strong disliked mouthy strict quiet admired by all honest jerky too busy feared by others ambitious drug user dishonest funny a loner never there caring warm hated me demanding friendly self-centered a great woman argued a lot kind forgiving loving immature bossy cruel positive safe to talk to religious generous dangerous drunken wild rude conceited reliable my best friend trusting of you Heritage House 76, Inc Earn While You Learn, Module F1 15

10 Homework Key What s in a Word? It s a shame we don t have a better word than client to describe the people we are trying to help. This is a unique and complicated human being whom God has placed in our path. Discerning his particular needs, hurts, and potential is crucial to doing our work. The homework questions in this lesson will have widely variable answers. They are meant to give you strong clues about the needs of your client. The Quest for Authentic Manhood addresses a wide variety of backgrounds but has one common goal; maturing the boy (at whatever physical age he is) into manhood. How you proceed with your client in the weeks to come will depend greatly on how he was raised and whom he was raised by. A client who was raised in an intact family, but with an abusive, drunken father, will have different needs and perspectives from a son who was raised by a courageous, but single mom. When you discuss the DVD or homework with him, you may find him willing and even excited to talk about certain parts of the material. This will most likely be the part that has spoken deeply to him about a past hurt or unmet need in his life. Dr. Lewis so accurately describes some of the issues confronting manhood in our present time that the client feels someone understands me. These subjects are the important ones and are worth spending time on. This homework session is meant to get the client thinking about issues that will be discussed in the following DVDs Heritage House 76, Inc Earn While You Learn, Module F1 16