Many ways to measure it Who we chose to affiliate with To choose I like the 49ers over the Cowboys

Transcription

1 Many ways to measure it Who we chose to affiliate with To choose I like the 49ers over the Cowboys PSY 180 Lecture 12 Affection Emotional warmth or kindness Respect Based on characteristics More distant than affection Found that in groups those that are best liked are rarely the same that are seen as having the best idea Maybe one can either be respected or receive affection, but it is very rare when they have both GSR Increased response found around groups we don t like Racist whites when in contact with blacks Pupil dilation Men s pupils widen when shown female pinups Women s pupils widen when shown male pinups or babies Pupils constrict when shown pictures of cross-eyed or crippled children Homosexuals have the same patterns but for same-sex pinups Very controversial research Non verbal signs of liking Many exist Muscular twitches in the face or hands Movements of the eyes Variations in the tone of voice Regardless of what is being said Played a vocal track with the words removed leaving only the tone» Seemed to be a stronger predictor of liking than the words that were actually said 1) Equity theory People look for relationships where both sides are giving equally Interpersonal resources Goods, information, love, money, services, status Social support How others help with coping to stressful events Appraisal support: feedback, affirmation, social comparison Emotional support: empathy, trust Informational support: advice, suggestions, solutions Instrumental support: aid and service

2 Attractiveness Couples often pair up according to attractiveness ratings Same sex friends do the same (more often with male friend groups than female) When mismatched in one dimension, another dimension may be used to account for the mismatch Selfless love Volunteer work is correlated with high life satisfaction and good health How would equity theory handle this? Ignores the feelings side of relationships Attractive woman with wealthy man Evolution theories Men focus on youth and physical characteristics Women focus on potential and resources This is an exchange that could have an equity component to it 2) Attachment theory Bowlby noticed that children in orphanages that had been neglected displayed pathological behaviors Lorenz and his imprinting studies Harlow and his bonding studies in monkeys Attachment must serve to enhance survival by regulating an infant s relationship and proximity to his caregiver Parent enters playroom with childthen leaves Watch how the child responds A stranger is also present throughout Watch how the child responds when the parent returns as well Very early on, no stranger anxiety or separation problems Within a few months, responds differently to familiar people More easily comforted and smiling and vocalizing more with them 6-7 months Strong attachment to a single individual Ainsworth s Strange Situation Experiment Secure attachment cry but are easily comforted Avoidant attachment barely seems to notice the parent leave or return Resistant attachment cry and not comforted at all Disorganized / disoriented doesn t seem to grasp parent has left or returns

3 More persistent at problem solving More willing to seek help if needed Do better socially Which there are many factors associated with Possibly the single most important source of life satisfaction and well being (Reis and Gable, 2003) May predict secure attachment as adults More supportive of partners in joint problem solving tasks More likely to practice safer sex Less upset after stressful events More likely to seek support when needed More likely to compromise with others Less likely to be depressed More likely to have higher selfesteem Less likely to abuse their spouse Less likely to divorce Liking Certain factors predispose positive attitudes towards others Proximity, similarity, complementary of needs, high ability, attractiveness, and reciprocity Affiliation Associating with others Specific identity of other person is not important Usually done to compare ourselves with others Misery loves company idea Friendship Mutual perception of similarity and expectations of reciprocity and equality When told they are getting shocked, people are more likely to want to wait for them with others than by themselves Anxious people prefer to be around other anxious people as well Close friends The number one has is usually small 1-2 for toddlers 3-5 for schoolchildren 7-9 for newlyweds Most adults have around 5 close friends Decreases throughout life Old friends are more likely to be kept than new ones made Amount of time spent changes throughout life Teenagers typically spend about 1/3 of their time with friends Adults spend less than 10% Having friends is correlated with life satisfaction and well-being Bad friends can undercut satisfaction though Best friends Unsure of whether it is about quantity or quality though Violate reciprocity- no equity in the friendship Can be either gender (although same sex is more common) Typically around the same age Reciprocate the relationship Support both equity theory and attachment theory brings out the best in me

4 Women seem to get more of the affectionate liking Men seem to get more of the respect liking Both sexes disclose intimate things to women more than to men Both sexes touch women more than men Found very young Six month old girls are touched by their mothers more than six month old boys Possibly because of dominance structures It is ok for the person of higher status to touch the person of lower status Since men get more respect than women, they are able to initiate touch more than women are In public, men initiate touching of girlfriends more than women initiate the touching of boyfriends This provides support that there is more affection for women than men When you go from higher to lower status, the liking resembles affection When you go from lower to higher status, the liking resembles respect Women and oppressed racial groups learned that they would receive more affection if they didn t know as much as the man if you misspell words every once in a while, they like you more Liking scale Loving scale If were feeling When I am with, we bad, my first duty would almost always are in the be to cheer him (her) same mood. up I have great confidence in I feel that I can confide in about virtually s good judgment everything. I would vote for in If I could never be with a class or group election I would feel miserable. It seems to me that it is I feel responsible for very easy for to s well-being gain admiration. Love and marriage were considered unrelated historically Many wrote that love was only possible when two people were not married Love at first sight Extremely rare Only 5% of women and 8% of men admitted to being extremely attracted to their mates when they first met Research suggests scores are similar but not the same Correlation for men s scores of their girlfriends was.56 Correlation for women s scores of their boyfriends was.36 Women tended to love their same sex friends more than men did

5 Couples that scored high on the scale More likely to engage the other in eye contact Not just one looking at the other, but they spent more time with simultaneous eye contact than weak love couples Non couples that both are strong lovers (but with someone else) do not show high amounts of simultaneous eye contact So it can t be that these people are just more likely to gaze into someone s eyes Found no relation between strength of love and perception of time or helping behavior