TRADE SHOW. a full-length play in one act. by Aline Lathrop

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2 Trade Show 1 SETTING Various convention center exhibit halls and hotel rooms. Also, a hotel elevator lobby, and a gallery at the Art Institute of Chicago. The present. TIME 30 s CHARACTERS 30 s/40

3 Trade Show 24 Scene 8 Later that day. and are trying to draw people into their booths. just smiles and waves, but is more aggressive. Hi Hello Are you familiar with ELab Notes? Hi Have you had a chance to see ELab Notes in action? Hello Hi Win a free IPad!

4 Trade Show 25 Scene 9 The exhibition hall is quiet. The day is over. and are straightening up their booths. Good day? Not too shabby. You? Good. You didn t look that busy to me. I mean, it s not like I was raffling off an IPad. The IPad wasn t actually my idea. You want to get a drink? What? You didn t hear me? I m sorry. You re just being friendly, aren t you? I mean collegial? Collegial? I mean, you re not asking me out. (HE doesn t respond.) This is embarrassing.

5 Trade Show 26 I can be collegial if you want me to. ( considers what HE has said for a moment.) I should go. Suit yourself. (SHE begins to exit.) Ciao, Bella. (SHE looks back.)

6 Trade Show 27 Scene 10 The next morning. arrives at his booth as is talking on her cell phone, and preparing her booth for the day. Shit! I forgot. Umm I know you have to be out the door in half an hour. Let me think. Umm Write her name on twenty-five doilies, paint her hand red Doilies? They re you know doilies. They re like lace made of paper. White. In the craft cabinet. Okay. Paint her hand red, and Also in the craft cabinet. Bottom shelf. Have her press her hand on each doily. Well, then just give her a red crayon, and let her scribble while you make breakfast. Okay. Bye. (SHE hangs up and busies herself in her booth.) Sleep well? What? Did you sleep well? I Simple question. Don t be nervous. (after a moment)

7 Trade Show 28 I m not nervous. Catch the game? What game? I don t know. Isn t there always a game? I hate sports. So do I. Really? Don t tell anyone. LOUD SPEAKER (off-stage) The Staples Center Exhibition Hall is now open. Happy Valentines Day.

8 Trade Show 29 Scene 11 The end of the day. Could you hand me my tape? Your tape? It s in that cabinet. Okay. (holding back a poster that has come undone) (indicating) (SHE steps onto his carpet on the way to the cabinet.) Oh, my God. What? Your carpet. I know. It s like It s like a Heavenly bed. A heavenly..? The Heavenly bed. At the Westin? Oh. I always try to stay at a Westin. Don t you?

9 Trade Show 30 I don t know. I don t travel much. You re a trade show rep. This is only my second show. I almost bought one once. One what? A Heavenly Bed. Right. You have no idea what I m talking about, do you? I thought you said the bed was at the Westin. But the Westin sells the mattresses to the public. Really? There was a huge advertising campaign. That s weird. Anyway, my wife wanted a Tempurpedic, so that was that. It s probably for the best anyway. Are you going to hand me my tape? (after a moment)

10 Trade Show 31 Sorry. (SHE finds the tape, and hands it to HIM. HE tapes back the paper, but SHE doesn t move.) This carpet. Try my chair. I should just finish up and go back to my room. The Hilton? Marriott. That s three blocks from here. I can make it. It s not like they re going to kick us out. They re not? Sit in my chair. Five minutes. (SHE sits in his chair.) Even your chair is heavenly. (SHE goes to take off her shoes.) Do you mind? Be my guest.

11 Trade Show 32 (SHE takes off her shoes.) I m never going to get up. You do realize that, don t you? You ll get up. I m serious. My feet will not fit back into these shoes. Special insoles? Bastards! They look nice. (His phone rings.) I have to get this. 8:15 in New York. (answering the phone) Hi, Honey. What? Did you call the plumber? Oh, God. Okay. Wait. Can I talk to Later, then. (HE hangs up.) Everything okay?

12 Trade Show 33 You own a house? We wanted Sarah to have a yard. You miss her? It s only my second time being away. In two years? I know. It s a long time. (His phone rings again. HE answers it.) Hi. Hey, buddy. I was hoping you d call. The plumber called back for Mom, and I thought I d missed my chance to say goodnight. Um, I don t know. What did Mommy say? If Mommy said you had enough dessert, then you had enough dessert. I m not going to go against Mommy. Now, you go get ready for bed. Night, buddy. Give Clemmy a kiss for me. (HE hangs up.) So are you crying yourself to sleep every night? What? Because you miss your baby. Sarah?

13 Trade Show 34 I did cry. The first time. Boulder? On the way. I cried all the way through security. I was joking. I know. But I did. I mean, like, I wept. Uncontrollably. Really? Everyone around me was like, What happened to you? Are you okay? What did you say? I said, I m fine. I said, I just left my little girl for the first time, but I m fine. You know you could have had some fun with that. How? (pretending to cry) My husband died! I just found out I have cancer! The possibilities are endless. I was just really embarrassed. Did you cry this time? No.

14 Trade Show 35 But you miss her. I do. And your husband. But on the other hand (after a moment) It s like I can breathe. I know what you mean.

15 Trade Show 36 Scene 12 The next morning. is wearing clogs. You head out tonight? In the morning. You? In the morning. East Coast I don t like the red eye, either. You re on the coast? Cleveland. I wouldn t have pegged you for a Midwesterner. Why? Aren t you all supposed to be friendly? I m friendly. Yeah. Just because I don t go to bars No, you re right. I apologize. (after a moment) New shoes?

16 Trade Show 37 I couldn t take it. The invitation s still open by the way. (Over the loudspeaker a voice is heard: The Staples Center exhibit hall is now open. ) Let s do this.

17 Trade Show 38 Scene 13 The end of the show. is in the process of collapsing her backdrop. Here, let me help. That s okay. (HE helps anyway, and THEY get her backdrop folded into its rolling case. SHE packs up her laptop, literature, and anything else around. SHE is ready to go.) Vegas in April? I ll be there. Enjoy your last night in L.A. I ll enjoy room service. I used to live in L.A. In theory, I still have friends here, but Room service sounds better? Kind of. Marriott, right? I m sure their room service has nothing on the Westin. It s not bad actually. They make a good apple crumble. I ll keep that in mind.

18 Trade Show 39 You sure you don t want to sit down a few minutes before you walk back? It s not a bar. I should go. Ciao, Bella. (leaving) (SHE stops abruptly, puts down her bags, and kisses HIM.)

19 Trade Show 40 Scene 14 THEY are eating apple crisp in a hotel bed. It s okay. Come on. Well, I make apple crumble at home, so I mean, it s fine, but Not as good as yours. Not as good as home made. Why should it be? I don t know. Home made. McDonald s. That s a big difference. But home made. Chef-made. I kind of like hotel food. Yeah? I m talking four stars and above. I m just used to my own apple crumble. Exactly. If you order the same thing you make at home, you re bound to be disappointed. But order something you can t get at home I already did. And? You may be right.

20 Trade Show 41 How are your feet? My feet? Your feet. They re fine. Let me see. (SHE takes her feet from under the covers, and HE reaches for them.) Wait. What? Are you going to I m going to give you a foot massage. If you give me a foot massage, I ll cry. Why will you cry? I ll just I will. I don t care. (HE massages her feet. SHE cries.) See?

21 Trade Show 42 How does it feel? It feels good. This isn t real. You re not really crying? (after a moment) No. I really am. But I mean this This hotel room. You and me. It s not No kidding. I mean, who massages someone else s feet just to be nice? It s a concrete floor, Bella. Even so. The show is over. No one needs my help with homework. No one needs me to take out the garbage. Nothing better to do? Nothing I d rather do. Watch T.V.? You want to watch T.V.? No.

22 Trade Show 43 Maybe the Cav s are playing. Is it basketball season? I have no idea. Is it too much? You want me to go? (after a moment) I thought you would go. You want me to? No. You haven t done this before. I No. (HE is still massaging her feet.) You do this all the time, don t you? (HE shrugs.) How does it work? (HE laughs.) What? (HE is still laughing.) What s so funny? I just asked how it works. I don t get what s funny about that. You really like rules, don t you?

NO LONGER THE FIRST 2010 Josh Danz

NO LONGER THE FIRST 2010 Josh Danz Free performance of this play for high school and college level competitive forensics is permitted. All other rights reserved. The Intriguing Interp Series is published