Your Wedding At Christ Church

Transcription

1 Your Wedding At Christ Church 915 East Oklahoma Avenue Milwaukee, Wisconsin Congratulations! Preparing for marriage can be one of life s most rewarding times, and we re honored to share it with you. While you may simply want a traditional church wedding, we at Christ Church believe that marriage is designed by a loving God to unite men and women in life-long, unconditional commitments. Our understanding is rooted not in tradition but in the wisdom reflected in the Scriptures, and especially in the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. Marriage is a courageous covenant before God, our families, our friends, and the wider world. The word covenant is crucial: in marriage, a man and a woman covenant with each other, saying in effect, No matter what, I will be there for you. It is a relationship unlike any other except our relationship with God, where God promises unconditionally in Jesus Christ to be here for us. We believe in marriage! That s why we don t encourage living together prior to (or instead of) marriage. It isn t helpful to couples, (fewer such marriages last), and it diminishes the unique character of marriage s life-long, unconditional love. Remember: it s not just your wedding. A wedding here is an act of Christian worship. And weddings are community events. Your wedding reflects the hopes, dreams, and convictions of your friends and family, the Church, the community and the God who brought you together. The ceremony will honor God s vision for marriage. Rather than being an end in itself, a wedding at Christ Church will express a strong, vibrant beginning to what is even more important than your wedding: your marriage! Initial Arrangements Arrangements need to be made well in advance. The Office Administrator usually takes the initial call; she checks the church calendar to see if the date requested is available. We will normally schedule only one wedding per day. In this packet are several information sheets which must be completed and returned to the church office as soon as possible. Please print or type clearly. Rev. A. Dale Stohre, Minister

2 Who You ll Meet: The Office Administrator The Office Administrator may be the first person you will see on your first visit to the church office. She may give a tour of the building, answer questions, and provide information regarding fees or additional services that may be available. She may also contact you prior to your service to remind you of any arrangements yet to be made. The Minister The Minister of Christ Church will usually conduct your wedding. With the Minister s consent, other clergy may share in the service; another ordained Christian minister may officiate, provided that any wedding at Christ Church honors the faith and values of this congregation. Providers of services for the wedding (florist, photographer, etc.) should direct any questions to the Minister here at the church. Musicians The church s Musicians will play for the wedding; if they are unavailable, they can help you find a suitable substitute. They can meet with you to select the music for your service. Our church musicians share responsibility for providing music at weddings in Christ Church. Gloria Konkel can be reached at and Pam Kothrade can be reached at The Wedding Coordinator The church s Wedding Coordinator will meet with the couple and the minister, be present at the rehearsal, and assist at the time of the wedding. She works closely with the Church s Custodians, who also assist in preparing for weddings, as well as clean-up following the service. One of the custodians also attends the wedding, assisting the Coordinator with setup and security during the wedding. Good communication between the Minister, the Wedding Coordinator, the Office Administrator, and you will clarify virtually all your questions. What You ll Find: Spaces for Worship and Preparation The Sanctuary Our sanctuary has a center aisle flanked by 18 pews on each side. The balcony provides additional seating. There is an area dedicated to wheelchair use; an elevator is available. Dressing Rooms Women may dress in one of several rooms near the rear of the sanctuary or the women s rest rooms; the men may use one of several rooms on the lower level. Candles The church provides two seven-candle electrically lit candelabra. Authentic candles can be used by special arrangement; you will need to purchase the candles; these special candles can be expensive. Talk to the Minister if you wish to use them. Aisle Runners Since the aisle of the sanctuary is beautifully carpeted, an aisle runner is not necessary. If a white runner is desired, Christ Church has paper runners suitable for weddings in our church; if you wish to use it, a fee will be charged. Florists also can provide runners. Flowers Your florist should visit the sanctuary prior to final decisions on floral decor. Make sure your flower girl(s) use artificial flower petals in the service, as real petals can be crushed into the carpet and cause permanent stains. The church will provide two silk flower arrangements upon request; see the fee schedule for costs. Unity Candle Unity Candle are available from various religious and gift stores. We recommend that each should be in a separate candle holder for ease of use during the ceremony.

3 Preparing for Your Wedding The Minister will arrange a minimum of three preparatory sessions with you, and may also ask you to participate in a session with other engaged couples. These conversations give opportunity to express your concerns, to learn more about marriage, and be guided through a number of helpful strategies for mutual growth. The Marriage License Be sure to obtain a valid Wisconsin marriage license, available from any Wisconsin county courthouse, and present it to the Minister by or before the rehearsal. The Order of Marriage A model wedding service is included in this booklet. This or a similar service may be used in consultation with the Minister. The order of service, including a list of all participants, must be completed with the Minister two weeks prior to the wedding. The Wedding Rehearsal The Minister and the Wedding Coordinator will lead the rehearsal, typically held the evening before the wedding, familiarizing participants with their role in the service. All members of the wedding party, including parents, attendants, ushers, musicians, should attend the rehearsal, which typically lasts about an hour. Printing the Marriage Service Printed programs for your service may be arranged through a commercial printer. If you print your own, program covers are available from religious bookstores. Photography Your wedding is a worship celebration, not a press conference! Guests standing and moving about taking pictures is the single most common problem at wedding ceremonies. To protect the dignity of your wedding, we prohibit flash photography except by the designated photographer and with consent of the Minister. We urge you to print this policy in your program and instruct your ushers to caution guests with cameras. The church may also post notices to that effect in the back of the sanctuary. Be sure to have your photographer meet beforehand with the Minister. Videography and audio recording of the wedding should be discussed with the Minister. Rice, Confetti, Alcohol and Food Birdseed or bubbles can be used outside the church. Rice and confetti are not permitted either in the church or on the grounds. Light snacks, such as fruit, crackers, juice, and water are permitted in the dressing areas. No alcoholic beverages or smoking are permitted on church property. Anyone showing signs of intoxication, including members of the wedding party, will be asked to leave. A Word about Costs Costs are listed elsewhere in this booklet. We know that a wedding can be a financial burden; they are costly for the church as well in staffing, maintenance, and utilities. Hopefully our costs will not be a burden to you; if they are a concern, please speak openly to the Minister. Remember that financial arrangements need to be completed three weeks prior to your wedding. Good communication between the minister, the couple, the wedding coordinator, and the Office Administrator will clarify virtually all your questions. The Day of Your Wedding: How Much Time Do You Have? The church is open one hour prior to your ceremony. We urge everyone involved to arrive as close to that time as possible, assuring ample time for last-minute concerns. The Custodian, Wedding Coordinator, or Minister can direct you to the rooms set aside for dressing and preparation. Parents, grandparents, and ushers can report to the Chapel at the rear of the Sanctuary; the Wedding Coordinator may assist in pinning flowers and answering questions. Typically, wedding services at Christ Church take approximately half an hour. After your wedding, we provide one additional hour for photo s, congratulations, and gathering personal belongings prior to closing the building.

4 As Your Wedding Approaches: Things to Remember 1. Complete the wedding application (remember to print or type clearly!) and return to the Office Administrator with a $100 deposit. Your wedding is not reserved until we receive the application and the deposit. 2. All fees should be paid to the Office Administrator three weeks prior to the wedding. 3. The wedding order of service needs to be completed two weeks prior the wedding. 4. The marriage license should be given to the minister at or prior to the rehearsal. No wedding can be conducted without the license. 5. If you re using a Unity Candle, bring it (and other decorations) to the rehearsal! 6. We recommend that you provide juice, soda, or water, crackers, cookies, or fruit for the wedding party prior to the ceremony. Such items help calm the butterflies and settle that queasy feeling prior to the service. 7. The church will open one hour prior to the wedding, and will close one hour after the ceremony. 8. Remember to inform all the participants and guests that no alcohol or intoxication is permitted on our church s property. A Guide for Planning Your Wedding By Rev. Dale Stohre Here is a typical wedding service. While "typical", it is not necessary to use everything listed here, nor in this order (underlined items are considered essential for legal or Christian considerations). At the end are some ideas for additional elements. PRELUDE Instrumental or with vocals; a time for gathering and seating of special guests (grandparents and parents, for example), and for lighting the candles. Traditionally, upon lighting the candles, the ushers then bring the aisle runner (if used) down the aisle for the processional. At that point, the Pastor, Groom, and possibly the other groomsmen take their positions at the front. PROCESSIONAL Couples may go down the aisle as couples; Maid of Honor alone (to be met and escorted to platform by Best Man)--or the Bride's attendants can go down the aisle and meet their escort at the front, who then walks them onto the platform. The Bride and her father or escort stop at the head of the aisle. GREETING AND INVOCATION QUESTION "Who presents this woman to be married to this man?" The father responds, and hands the Bride to the Groom. DECLARATION OF INTENT: "Will you take this woman/man to be..." Following this, the couple steps up to the pastor together. SCRIPTURE READING MEDITATION

5 WEDDING VOWS First, Bride gives bouquet to Maid of Honor; couple faces each other, holding hands., I give myself to you to be your husband/wife... CONGREGATIONAL STATEMENT Do you, as friends and family, and as the gathered people of God, pledge your support and encouragement to the covenant commitment that and are making in your presence? If so, respond by saying: We do. Couple turns to face pastor. EXCHANGE OF RINGS LIGHTING OF THE CANDLE PRONOUNCEMENT OF MARRIAGE THE WEDDING KISS PRAYER OF DEDICATION BENEDICTION Bride re-takes bouquet after Benediction. PRESENTATION RECESSIONAL Special possibilities for consideration: I will discuss these with you if you wish: -the Unity Candle -special musical selections: solos, duets, etc. -the giving of a symbolic gift, embrace, etc., to each other's parents -a congregational hymn, responsive readings, or communion Suggestions for Wedding Vows As with the Ceremony Outline, these are provided as a guide. Some are more traditional; some are more innovative. The important issue is that the words convey the unique commitment that makes Christian marriage what it is. The Minister will help you assure that your wedding vows say all you intend to say. Traditional: I,, take you,, to be my wife/husband, from this time forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, I will love and cherish you until by death God separates us. I,, take you,, to by my wife/husband. I promise before God to keep, to protect, and to love you, and to be your faithful and true husband/wife, as long as we both shall live, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen. I,, take you,, to be my wife husband. I promise before God and these friends to be your loving and faithful husband/wife, to share with you in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, and to join with you so that together we may serve God and others, as long as we both shall live, God being my helper., I give myself to you to be your husband/wife. I promise to love and sustain you in the covenant of marriage, from this day forward, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, as long as we both shall live. (from the United Church of Christ Book of Worship) Contemporary I,, take you,, to be my wife/husband. I promise before God, our families, and our friends to be true to you in bad times and in good, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy. I will love you and honor you.

6 I will cherish you and respect you. I will comfort you and encourage you. I will be faithful to you and I will pray for you all the days of my life., I love you, and promise to make my love for you a witness to God's love for me. I promise to be faithful and responsible in loving you, that your life will be happy and fulfilled. I give you this ring as a symbol and a seal of a love that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things--a love that never ends. I call upon these persons present here to witness that I,, do take you,, to be my wife/husband, and trusting in God's help, I promise to faithfully love you, for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health; and to this end I give you my word. I,, take you,, my best friend, to be my husband/wife. I've chosen you because I love you. I've chosen you because you bring out the best in me. I've chosen you because you respect who I am. And in the choosing, I commit to fostering growth in our marriage., I commit to you:...my faithfulness...my respect...my love until death parts us. Considerations for Exchanging Rings The words you choose for this important moment of the ceremony can enhance what's taking place, and we encourage you to consider using some form of these. However: -you can adapt these, combine them, or write your own -you can choose to exchange rings in silence, omit the words of introduction, the prayer, or the words shared by the bride and groom. Words of Introduction by the Pastor: From the beginning of time, the ring has been a special symbol of important relationships. Rings were the seal of a king, and spoke of his covenant with his loyal subjects. Rings were often the most treasured gift a friend could give; they often symbolized that a person in some special way belonged to someone else. But in marriage,, especially Christian marriage, the ring has taken on its highest significance. The circle has no end, symbolizing that the union begin today is a permanent, life-long commitment of two lives. It is made of gold, which never tarnishes, symbolizing the purity of marriage in God's eyes as good, wholesome, pure, and blessed by God. And the metal is precious; so is genuine love. Its beauty is recognized and valued by all. Words the Minister may say to the couple: and, let these rings serve to remind you of this day. They are visible, for all to see; precious and valuable, as is the love you give each other; and enduring, just as your marriage can be. and, what will you share to symbolize your love? (couple presents rings to pastor, who prays:) Prayers of dedication for the rings: By these symbols of covenant promise, Gracious God, remind and of your encircling love and unending faithfulness that in all their life together they may know joy and peace in one another. (from the Book of Worship, United Church of Christ) Eternal God, who in the time of Noah gave us the rainbow as a sign of

7 promise, bless these symbols that they also may be signs of a promise fulfilled in lives marked by faithful love, through Jesus Christ our Savior, Amen. (from the Book of Worship, United Church of Christ) Words spoken by the bride and groom:, I give you this ring as a visible and permanent seal on the vows I make to you today., I give you this ring as a symbol and a seal of the covenant made between us this day, and as a pledge of our mutual love., wear this ring as a symbol of our unending love., will you wear this ring as a symbol of our unending love? (Response: "I will."), I give you this ring as a symbol of our love and as the seal of my covenant promise to you. Wedding Scripture Suggestions Scripture readings enrich any wedding. Take time as a couple to read them together: Do they express your faith and commitment? You may select other Scriptures as well. Talk to the Minister about selecting Scriptures, what translation to use, who should read them, and how many to include. An asterisk (*) denotes passages frequently used. Genesis 1:26-28, 31; 2:18-24 Matthew 5:1-12*; 5:13-16; 7:24-27, 19:4-6; Psalm 23; 34:1-3, 8; 37:3-7; 67:1-3; 22: ; 121:1-2, 8; 127; 128:1-4; John 2:1-11; 15: :1-4, 8-9; 150 Romans 8:28-39; 12:1-2 Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 I Corinthians 13* Song of Solomon 2:8-13, 8:6-7 Ephesians 3:14-19, 20-21; 5:1-2, 21 Jeremiah 29:11* Colossians 3:12-17* I John 3:18; 4:7-16*, I give you this ring as a symbol of my promise; and with all that I have and all that I am, I honor you., this ring is a sign and a promise of my never-ending love for you. It is a symbol of my heartfelt affection, my commitment, and my care., with this ring I seal our marriage, and look forward to sharing our life together.

8 About Your Wedding s Music The music ministry at Christ Church is committed to providing you with fine music for your ceremony, while making the process as simple as possible. Instruments The Sanctuary organ is a 13-rank Verlinden pipe organ. We also have a Yamaha Clavinova 94 electronic keyboard. These instruments are maintained and tuned, and always ready for use. Substitute organists and pianists are welcome, subject to approval by the Church s Musicians. Recorded music The use of recordings as background music or as recorded accompaniment is strongly discouraged. Soloists and Instrumentalists Soloists and instrumentalists are often available. Friends and relatives whom you wish to include in your service are welcomed. The soloist(s) should rehearse well ahead of the ceremony; please discuss this with the Church Musicians. Remember that should you use additional musicians, it is appropriate to compensate them; the Church Musicians can advise you on this, and can help you secure musicians. Repertoire The Church Musicians will discuss your choice of music, and can meet with you to play suggested selections for your evaluation. Music must be appropriate for a service of worship, both in style and text. Pop selections are generally inappropriate. If you have a question concerning a particular selection, feel free to discuss it with the Minister or the Musicians. Wedding Expense Guidelines Your wedding is important not only to you but to our congregation. Every wedding is also unique; you bring your own special concerns, and we want to be fair and clear. This fee schedule can clarify how we calculate the wedding expenses you will be asked to pay. Member NonMember Use of Sanctuary No Charge $ Minister* Honorarium $ Wedding Coordinator $ $ Custodian $75.00 $75.00 Organist $ $ Additional time with other musicians $30.00 $30.00 Church Soloist $50.00 $50.00 Additional song(s) $15.00 $15.00 Aisle Runner $35.00 $35.00 Flowers (Two altar arrangements) $30.00 $30.00 Communion $35.00 $35.00 These fees are payable to Christ Church three weeks in advance. Fees may change, and your costs will be based on the fees in force at the time you reserve your wedding date, or at the time of the wedding if more than one year from the time you pay your deposit. The sanctuary fee includes use of other rooms. *There is no fee for the Minister for members of Christ Church. If you are a member and choose to include a clergy honorarium with other fees, please specify the amount with your payment to the church. Determining who is a member: 1. If one or both of you is a communicant or voting member of Christ Church, you will have the privilege of use of the sanctuary with no fee assessed. 2. If you have had membership at Christ Church in the past, you may still be asked to pay the sanctuary fees if you, regardless of past membership status, have not for a period of more than two years: a. regularly attended worship services, or b. financially supported the program and mission of the church, or c. been involved on any ministries or agencies of the church.