Emotional Intelligence

Transcription

1 Emotional Intelligence Taming the Caveman in You Presentation Participant Guide A Presentation by keller hardin wilson Leadership Coaching, Training, and Teambuilding K. H. Skip Wilson, Principal January 2012 Emotional Intelligence: Taming the Caveman in You 1

2 This Presentation Participant Guide was designed and developed by keller hardin wilson. It is meant to accompany a presentation entitled, Emotional Intelligence: Taming the Caveman in You. It is not intended as a stand-alone reference. keller hardin wilson Leadership Coaching, Training, and Teambuilding K. H. Skip Wilson, Head Coach 244 Old Magee Road Magee, MS January 8, 2013 Emotional Intelligence: Taming the Caveman in You 2

3 Introduction to Emotional Intelligence This presentation is about something called Emotional Intelligence or EI. In this presentation we will explore what EI is and what it is not; discuss the framework of EI; its two dimensions and four domains, and the key competencies; and explore how you can begin to strengthen your EI competencies now. Emotional what?!? When people hear the words emotional and intelligence used together, they get a little amused. So much of our past conditioning says that we should leave emotions out of the workplace. Leave your emotions at the door and you can pick them up on your way out. Yet, emotions play a vital role in our very survival as a species, and a significant role in everything we do in life. ACTIVITY: Emotional Responses Instructions Working individually, think of a recent incident when someone you encountered (not you) got angry or upset over something you or your direct reports did, said, or failed to do. What did that other person look like in that agitated state? Jot down as many descriptors as you can about what you saw/heard; e.g., yelling, cursing, etc. So, just what is Emotional Intelligence? It is the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships. Daniel Goleman, 1998 According to Goleman, IQ can get you into your field, but once there, you re about equal to everyone else. But the ability to manage yourself and your relationships with others (Emotional Intelligence) is what makes the difference. Emotional Intelligence: Taming the Caveman in You 3

4 ACTIVITY: Best Boss/Worst Boss Instructions Think about bosses you ve had in the past. Who was the best boss? Who was the worst? What are some of the characteristics of the BEST boss you ever had? What are some of the characteristics of the WORST boss you ever had? Best Boss Characteristics Worst Boss Characteristics Emotional Intelligence: Taming the Caveman in You 4

5 A (Very) Brief History of Emotional Intelligence PETER SALOVEY and JOHN D. MAYER The term emotional intelligence was first coined by Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer in Up until that time, it was known mostly as social intelligence. But studies by Salovey and Mayer showed it had an expanded role. The study of emotions and human behavior, though, dates back to the late 1930 s and 1940 s. It s nothing new. The foundations of EI lie in the fields of psychology, sociology, human anatomy, human development, human relations, and other fields. Anatomy? Yes! Emotions actually have a physical origin in the body. What EI is and is not It is NOT about being nice all the time. It IS about being honest with your emotions. It is NOT about being touchy-feely. It IS about being aware of your feelings and the feelings of others. It is NOT about being emotional. It IS about being smart with your emotions. Emotional Intelligence: Taming the Caveman in You 5

6 About Power and Influence There are many sources of power and influence, not the least of which is wealth and fame. However, in a work environment, there are generally four bases of power and influence: Position power authority given you by your position. Technical power skills in your chosen field. Power by association credibility with people of power or influence. Personal power credibility with everyone. Emotional Intelligence is about building personal power, credibility with everyone, by building and sustaining effective relationships. To do that, you must be able to understand your own emotions and those of others. If you can build it, you ll find that personal power leverages all the other powers, and is something that cannot be taken away from you by others. It can only be destroyed by you and the things you do or fail to do. But here is a paradox: Emotional Intelligence is important. But a class in Emotional Intelligence won t develop it. So, how do you develop it? You can Understand emotions and their impact on behavior; Learn EI concepts and practice effective behaviors; Continually explore how you impact others. Emotional Intelligence: Taming the Caveman in You 6

7 The Stimulus-Response Model Stimulus Response All animals have a stimulus-response mechanism. It is vital for survival. In animals, whatever the stimulus, there is an immediate response. There is no gap between the two. However, humans are different. For us, there is a gap between stimulus and response, and it is this gap that separates us from the animals. Stimulus Response The Human Gap that separates us from animals. According to the late Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, there are what he called four human endowments * that separate us from the rest of the animal kingdom: Self-Awareness: The ability to stand apart from one s actions and behaviors, and analyze them. Imagination: The ability to think about and anticipate the future. Conscience: A sense of right and wrong. This is, however, influenced by culture. For example, in some cultures, it is wrong to eat beef. In other cultures, it is wrong to eat pork. In still others, it is wrong to eat any animal. Independent Will: The ability to choose one s response in any given situation. *SOURCE: Covey, Stephen R., The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Daily we are faced with situations, conversations, interactions with others that trigger our stimulus-response mechanism. The degree to which we CHOOSE an appropriate response is a measure of our emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence: Taming the Caveman in You 7

8 The Anatomy of Emotions Emotional Intelligence deals with the relationship between the Amygdala and the Prefrontal Cortex. The Prefrontal Cortex, also known as the PFC, is the executive center of the brain. It has the capacity to access the entire brain: all memories, past experiences, competencies, skills, etc. It scans for multiple options, multiple solutions to the issues it is facing in any given moment. The Amygdala s job is to protect by comparing incoming data with emotional memories. It literally limits options initially to three: Freeze, Fight, or Flee. It quickly narrows it down to two, and then one. Executive Center EI Integrates the PFC and the Amygdala. Limits Options Source: Emotional intelligence integrates the PFC and the Amygdala to interrupt what is known as the amygala hijack. Emotional Intelligence: Taming the Caveman in You 8

9 Amygdala Hijack!!!* What is amygdala hijacking? It is defined by Daniel Goleman as any situation in which a person responds inappropriately based on emotional rather than intellectual factors. What make it interesting are the characteristics: 1. First, there is a strong emotional response. The amygdala does not distinguish between an actual threat to life or limb, and an ego threat. For example, let s say someone criticizes some work you ve done. That s an ego threat. But the amygdala treats it exactly the same as though a tiger is about to eat you! 2. There is a sudden or intense reaction. The emotional response will generally trigger a reaction. It could be a severe physical reaction (you prepare to punch the critic), or a simple one (your face gets really red). 3. You do or say something you later regret. You actually punch the critic, or yell, or send an inappropriate . Regardless of the action, one thing is common in an amygdala hijack: We get REALLY Why? What part of the brain are we operating from when we have an amygdala hijack? The limbic system; the old animal brain; the amygdala, the dumb brain that has a limited number of options. When we need to be at our very best, we re wired to be at our very worst! So how do we prevent or get out of an amygdala hijack? Emotional Intelligence: Taming the Caveman in You 9

10 STOPPING THE HIJACK EVENT THINK FEEL ACT Look at the illustration above. We observe an event in our physical world. Our brain (specifically, the thalamus) translates that into something meaningful based on our past experiences, knowledge, learning, culture, etc. This is usually subconscious thinking. Then that translation is interpreted by the amygdala. It determines what kind of emotional response (feeling) is called for in this situation. If the situation is seen as a threat or calls for immediate reaction, the amygdala signals the body to start producing the hormones necessary for fight or flight. All these actions and responses happen in a split second, and are as natural as can be. But as natural as these feelings are, you can t use them as justification for pouncing on a coworker because you are angry. When you NOTICE the emotion, PAUSE for a moment before you act. Ask a question of yourself (e.g., What did he say that upset me?) or the other person (e.g., Tell me more about that). Work backwards to THINK about an appropriate response. As a thinking human being, use your rational thinking brain (the prefrontal cortex) to make choices about appropriate actions. KEY POINT: The degree to which you can avoid being hijacked by your emotions in any given situation is what we measure as Emotional Intelligence. Emotional Intelligence: Taming the Caveman in You 10

11 Competencies in the Goleman Model The dimensions of Self and Social are further defined in terms of Regulation and Recognition, thereby creating a matrix with four distinct domains. Each domain contains specific competencies. The key competency in each domain is highlighted. The arrows indicate that Self Awareness is the base domain. Without it, one is less effective in the other domains. Without an accurate self-assessment and emotional awareness, one simply cannot build the self-confidence needed in the other domains. The route from the base can take a path either into the Self Management domain or the Social Awareness one. Both can lead into the Relationship Management that brings forth the results Emotional Intelligence is known for. You always begin with yourself, your own self-awareness. Emotional Intelligence: Taming the Caveman in You 11

12 There are mountains of data that build a business case for the importance of emotional intelligence in the workplace. You need only look at Fortune magazine s Best Companies to Work For and the criteria that makes them the best places to work to get an idea of the importance of Emotional Intelligence. The top three factors critical to employee engagement are: recognition (which falls in the Social Awareness and Relationship Management domains of EI), career development (Relationship Management domain), and relationship with immediate manager/supervisor, (Relationship Management domain). Research reveals the importance emotional intelligence plays in success for leaders at all levels, but most importantly for those at higher levels. Here are some examples: For 515 senior executives analyzed by the search firm Egon Zehnder International, those who were primarily strong in Emotional Intelligence were more likely to succeed than those who were strongest in either relevant previous experience or IQ. (Chernis & Goleman, 2001) Analyses done by dozens of different experts in close to five hundred corporations, government agencies, and non profit organizations worldwide have arrived at remarkably similar conclusions all point to the paramount place of emotional intelligence in excellence on the job in virtually all jobs. (Chernis & Goleman, 2001) It is more applicable at the higher levels of leadership. In general the higher a position, 85% of their competencies for success were in the EI domain. Competency research in over 200 companies and organizations worldwide suggests that about one-third of the difference between high performers and average performers is due to technical skill and cognitive ability, while twothirds is due to emotional competence. (Goleman, 1998) Finally, Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee have found in their studies that great leaders are emotionally intelligent and they are mindful; they face the uncertainty of today s world with hope; and face difficulties and challenges with empathy and compassion for the people they lead and those they serve. (Boyatzis and McKee, 2005) Emotional Intelligence: Taming the Caveman in You 12

13 The textbook, Emotional Intelligence 2.0 (Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves), provides other data that are interesting side notes to the case for EI in the workplace, including: Gender differences in EQ skills; Emotional Intelligence and job titles; The generational divide how the different generations score on EI appraisals; The impact of culture on EI scores. Conclusions As you consider the data, there are some conclusions that should become clear: Emotionally ignorant people with little understanding of how and where emotions affect their lives will have an exceedingly difficult time reeling in success. Those who use the right tools and strategies for harnessing their emotions put themselves in a position to prosper. This concept applies to individuals, organizations, and entire countries! Developing Emotional Intelligence (General) This presentation was not intended to GIVE you emotional intelligence. Instead, it provides you some information on EI and its impact on you in your work life role. Here are some general things you can do, though, to begin this journey of increasing your emotional intelligence. You can do more research on Emotional Intelligence. There is a wealth of information about this growing field of study. While you re researching, also look into human emotional needs. You will discover a lot about what we need as human beings to feel safe in our relationships with others. The more you know, the more you will be able to exercise empathy and social awareness. Continue to assess yourself. The Emotional Intelligence Appraisal Me Edition (available online from TalentSmart.com) is a good starting point. Emotional Intelligence: Taming the Caveman in You 13

14 Consider going through some type of 360-degree assessment to learn more about how what you do impacts others. Work with a peer coach or mentor to develop your EI skills. Get feedback from your coach or mentor about your real-time application of these competencies. Finally, practice, evaluate, practice more, evaluate again, and practice even more. The idea here is that development of Emotional Intelligence is a discipline you will be practicing all your life. This is the beginning of that journey. Emotional Intelligence: Taming the Caveman in You 14

15 About your presenter Keller H. (Skip) Wilson is an Organizational Development Specialist and Certified Professional Coach (College of Executive Coaching) currently serving Nissan-Americas. He is also Principal and Head Coach of keller hardin wilson, a leadership coaching, training, and teambuilding service. Skip started his employment at Nissan North America s Canton (MS) manufacturing facility in November As a member of the Training and Development Team assigned to the Nissan Americas Headquarters in Franklin, TN, he provides leadership training, coaching, and internal consulting services to managers from front-line supervisors to VP level at Nissan locations throughout the Americas. He has also worked with teams to improve overall effectiveness, and has conducted targeted team-building sessions on request. Before joining Nissan, Skip was a senior training consultant ( ) at Central and South West Corporation, a Dallas TX-based electric utility holding company, and as a training specialist at the former Mississippi Power & Light Company ( ). He is a 20-year Army veteran ( ) with tours in Germany, Vietnam, Korea, and several U.S. locations. Skip holds a Bachelor of Business Administration from Cameron University (Lawton, OK), and a Masters degree in Industrial and Organizational Psychology from Louisiana Tech University (Ruston, LA). He is a member in good standing of the International Coach Federation (ICF). Skip s training and organizational development experience includes conducting threeday intensive seminars on The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People; delivering Situational Leadership II and other Ken Blanchard programs; and FranklinCovey s Leading at the Speed of Trust and Championing Diversity. He also holds certifications for delivering DDI, Achieve Global, and other proprietary training programs. Skip has over 30 years in the training and organizational development field. He and his wife of over 40 years reside in Magee, MS. Nissan Americas Training & Development keller.wilson@nissan-usa.com Phone: FAX: keller hardin wilson skipppadeau@aol.com 244 Old Magee Road Magee, MS Cell: Emotional Intelligence: Taming the Caveman in You 15