Parent Liaison Handbook (web-version)

Transcription

1 Parent Liaison Handbook (web-version) What is a Parent Liaison? Parent liaisons provide a communication link between parents and coaches during the hockey season. Parent liaisons are listeners. They are available to parents to hear their concerns and bring these forward to coaches accurately and in a calm, clear manner. By doing this, parent liaisons can help resolve conflicts and problems. Depending upon their interests, abilities, time, and the support they receive from parents and coaches, a parent liaison may also help out with finding solutions to issues, mediating conflicts, and improving general team communications. A parent liaison s most important duty is to be a good listener. What does it mean to be a good listener? There is a difference between listening and hearing. Hearing is the physical process the ear goes through to produce sound. We are listening when we are interpreting, assessing, understanding and responding. We can certainly hear things when we are not paying attention, but we are never really listening unless we give the speaker our full attention.

2 Active listening is hard work. It takes concentration and attention. Good listening is really active listening. Active listening - The key points When you are listening: Resist distractions and give the speaker your full attention. Concentrate, put other thoughts temporarily aside in order to understand what is being said. Listen to all that the other person has to say rather than tuning-out half way to plan a response. Avoid making judgements about what the speaker is telling you. Listen to what that person is really saying. Confidentiality All parents have the right to ask their parent liaison to discuss any problems with the coaches anonymously. Letting people know you ve heard Tell people that you have listened and understood by paraphrasing. Paraphrasing is not merely repeating. A paraphrase is a summary that includes the speaker s main points and feelings. A good paraphrase will: Focus on what was said Reflect only the essentials Include a description of the speaker s emotions, but NOT the more descriptive words that they used. For example, you do not have to use profanity in your paraphrase. Parent liaison tip: A good paraphrase is important because you can use your paraphrase to tell a coach about a problem.

3 Paraphrasing in Action An angry parent approaches a parent liaison after a game: What is that coach s!@#$%! problem! He short- shifted my son for the entire third period. I know the team was behind, but that s no excuse! He told us at the start of the year that shifts would be equal no matter what the score was. That guy is a!@#$%! liar! The parent liaison s paraphrase: You re angry because your felt your son was short-shifted in the third period. You suspect it was because the team was behind, but you remember the coach making a commitment to keep the shifts equal regardless of the score. You think he broke his word. How the parent liaison might bring this to the coach: One of the parents raised a concern with me this afternoon. He felt that the shifts were not equal in the third period. He wanted me to bring this to your attention. Do you have a moment to hear how he saw the situation? You are approached by a parent with a concern. What do you do? First and uppermost, USE YOUR LISTENING SKILLS. Concentrate on what the parent is saying. Make sure that you are clear about the nature of the problem. Ask questions if you are not. Paraphrase, or summarize, to make sure that the parent agrees that you understand the nature of their concern. Ask the parent: What is the main point, or points, that you want the coach to understand about this situation? How do you feel this problem could be resolved? What do you want me to do with your concern?

4 Remember the 24-HOUR COOL DOWN principle It s simple many of the problems we get so excited or angry about do not seem so important when we ve had time to cool down and think matters over. Parent liaisons may find themselves listening to angry parents right after games or practices. In these situations, you may want to suggest the parent take a day to think things over and speak to you again before the issue is brought to the coach. * * * Parent liaison tip: Write things down! Don t leave important events to memory. The hockey season runs for several months. Important facts, dates or situations that you think you can remember now, may slip from memory in a few weeks. Discussing conflict with the coach No one likes hearing criticism. A common response to criticism is to digin and defend our actions. Such a response almost never leads to a situation where problems can be resolved. As a parent liaison, your role is to bring coaches problems in a way that they can look at the problem productively. One of the ways a parent liaison can help with this is to bring parents concerns to coaches without the emotion and anger they may have originally expressed to you. Parent liaison tip: Don t talk to your coach only about problems. Take every opportunity to pass on good comments you may hear about the team. Hawks Athletic Club Disputes and Arbitration Process Concerns must be expressed in writing to the Director of Disputes and Arbitration ( the Director ). See the Hawks newsletter for contact information. Upon receiving this letter the Director will call a panel to schedule a meeting to hear the concern.

5 The parties involved will have an opportunity to describe their concerns to the panel, hear and respond to other parties statements. At the completion of the hearing, the panel will adjourn and issue a written decision. The panel s decision is final. The Director will not respond to phone calls and will not become involved in trying to resolve the concern. The Director s area of responsibility is to chair a panel to deal with a concern. Edmonton Minor Hockey s Fair Play Pledge For Parents Season 1. I will not force my child to participate in hockey. 2. I will remember that my child plays hockey for his or her enjoyment not mine. 3. I will encourage my child to play by the rules and to resolve conflict without resorting to hostility or violence. 4. I will teach my child that doing one s best is as important as winning so that my child will never feel defeated by the outcome of the game. 5. I will make my child feel like a winner every time by offering praise for competing fairly and hard. 6. I will never ridicule or yell at my child for making a mistake or losing a game. 7. I will remember that children learn by example. I will applaud good plays and performances by both my child s team and their opponents. 8. I will never question the officials judgement or honesty in public. 9. I will support all efforts to remove verbal and physical abuse from children s hockey games. 10. I will respect and show appreciation for the volunteers and coaches who give their time to coach for my child.