CONTENTS INFORMATION FOR PARENTS WHOSE BABY HAS DIED. When a Baby Dies...3. Bereavement Support Team...4. Bereavement Support Midwife...

Transcription

1

2 CONTENTS INMATION When a Baby Dies Bereavement Support Team Bereavement Support Midwife Religious, Spiritual and Pastoral Supports Bereavement Social WorkerSupport Funeral Options Preparing for the Funeral Prior to Your Baby Leaving the Hospital Follow-up Care Annual Service of Remembrance Book of Remembrance Information on Registration of Births and Deaths Bereavement Grant Improving the Quality of the Service We Provide Support Groups Book of Remembrance Form Useful Phone Numbers

3 WHEN A BABY DIES BEE OR SOON AFTER BIRTH We wish to offer our sympathy to you and your family on the loss of your baby. The loss of a baby is one of the most painful experiences imaginable. Finding out that your baby has died before or shortly after birth comes as an enormous shock to parents. We will try to help and support you through this difficult time. We have written this booklet to provide you with some practical information about the supports available within the hospital and to tell you about the various funeral options. We will try to provide you with any additional information you might find helpful and we will give you a copy of either the Miscarriage booklet or A Little Lifetime booklet, which was written by bereaved parents. INMATION 3

4 BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT TEAM INMATION The Rotunda realises the importance of helping and supporting parents around the time their baby dies. We have a team of staff available and willing to help you to get through such a difficult time in your lives. The bereavement support midwife, chaplain, bereavement social worker and staff involved in caring for you work very closely together. Do not hesitate to ask any of the team for additional information that you may require. 4

5 BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT MIDWIFE The bereavement support midwife (or her deputy) will visit you and give you time to talk about your feelings. She will encourage and support you to visit the mortuary and to hold and spend time with your baby. You may also take photographs of your baby if you wish. The bereavement support midwife will organise these visits for you and she will stay with you in the mortuary. She will also help you to make the funeral arrangements over the coming days. INMATION When a baby dies, parents have many questions about the cause of death. We may ask you to consider having a post mortem carried out on your baby. A post mortem or autopsy is an examination of a person s body after death. A pathologist carries out the examination. A post mortem examination can often provide more information about your baby s illness or what caused their death. If you are considering a post mortem we will give you a separate information book that gives detailed information about a post mortem. Staff will also talk to you about the examination and answer any questions you may have. 5

6 RELIGIOUS, SPIRITUAL AND PASTORAL SUPPORTS INMATION There is a lay Roman Catholic hospital chaplain available in the hospital from Monday to Friday. The chaplain is available to people of all faiths and to those who have no specific faith background. If you wish, we can contact ministers or chaplains of other faiths or you may prefer to contact your own priest or spiritual leader. If you do, please arrange this with the bereavement support midwife or the hospital chaplain. The chaplain can provide a blessing for you and your baby if you wish and prepare the removal service with you. The chaplain is also available to attend and lead the removal service from the hospital mortuary chapel but does not normally attend at the graveside. You will be offered prayers to say at the graveside. You will also be offered some religious/spiritual keepsakes of your baby. These can include a personalised prayer leaflet, a candle with your baby s name and date of birth written on it, a personalised blessing certificate or a naming certificate. 6

7 BEREAVEMENT SOCIAL WORKER SUPPORT The bereavement social worker will try to visit you while you are still in hospital or else she will contact you at home. She will help you with any social issues and tell you about the bereavement counselling service available. Some parents find it helpful to talk to the bereavement social worker about how to tell their other children that the baby has died. If you had a multiple pregnancy, and one baby dies you will probably feel very confused with so many emotions being experienced at the same time joy for your surviving baby and grief for the baby who has died. She can help you to come to terms with the mixed emotions you may experience. INMATION If your baby had an abnormality, the social worker will offer you contact details for the relevant support group or association for that particular condition. She can also give you information about special support groups in the community, which you may wish to contact. If non-medical photographs have been taken of your baby, the social worker will contact you to see if you would like to receive them. If you do not want to receive them immediately, you can always contact her at a later date about the photographs. The hospital also offers a bereaved parents support group. You will receive a letter inviting you to attend in the months following the loss of your baby. 7

8 FUNERAL OPTIONS INMATION There are a number of options available to you. You can choose between burial and cremation. There are two burial options private burial or burial in the Angels remembrance Remembrance garden Garden in in Glasnevin cemetery. (a) PRIVATE BURIAL A private burial can take place in a new or existing family grave. The burial is organised by the family. You should contact an undertaker to arrange the opening of a new or existing plot, or contact the cemetery directly. Private burials usually take place Monday to Saturday. You need to give the undertakers and cemetery 24 hours notice. Permission from the grave owner is required to open an existing plot. You should speak with the undertaker before the funeral to find out how much it will cost. You may be entitled to a bereavement grant, which is available to cover some of the funeral costs. 8

9 FUNERAL OPTIONS (b) ANGELS REMEMBRANCE GARDEN IN GLASNEVIN CEMETERY The other burial option is the newly refurbished Angels remembrance Remembrance garden Garden in in Glasnevin cemetery where several babies are buried in the same grave. The Angels remembrance Remembrance garden Garden is is different to to other other cemeteries cemeteries and you and may you wish may to wish visit to the visit cemetery the cemetery before making before a final making decision a final on decision the place on of the burial. place of You burial.you can put fresh can put flowers fresh on flowers the grave on the butgrave but permanent and personal mementoes including teddies, toys and other keepsakes are not allowed and will be removed. INMATION You can get the grave reference and burial details by contacting Glasnevin Trust. There is a large headstone for each plot and if you wish your baby's name to be inscribed on the headstone, please contact Glasnevin Trust directly and they will tell you how this can be done and how much it will cost. The hospital will make the burial arrangements with Glasnevin cemetery. Burials usually take place around 9.30 am, Monday to Friday. You and your family can attend the burial service in Glasnevin. If you are attending the service, you can take the coffin to the cemetery in your car. When you arrive in Glasnevin, a cemetery staff member will take you to the graveside. You can spend as much time as you wish by the graveside after the burial. If you are not attending the burial, Kirwans Funeral Directors will take your baby to the cemetery. 9

10 FUNERAL OPTIONS INMATION The Rotunda pays the burial costs for babies buried in the Angels remembrance Remembrance garden. Garden. You may be entitled to a bereavement grant, which is available to cover some of the other funeral costs. For further information on the Angels remembrance Remembrance garden Garden you can contact Glasnevin Trust at or view the FAQ section on their website (c) CREMATION The Rotunda hospital uses Glasnevin crematorium and they advise us that there will be no ashes after the cremation of your baby. Cremations usually take place Monday to Friday. If you choose to use another crematorium, the bereavement support midwife can assist you in making the arrangements. A special five-part form must be completed and forwarded to the coroner s office by midday on the day before the cremation. Parents must complete Part B of this form. When the forms are all completed, the bereavement support midwife will finalise the arrangements with you. 10 If you choose cremation, you may contact your own undertaker or we will contact Kirwans Funeral Directors for you. The funeral director will tell you how much the cremation costs. You may be entitled to a bereavement grant, which is available to cover some of the funeral costs.

11 PREPARING THE FUNERAL There is no need to rush the funeral arrangements. We suggest you wait a few days to allow you some time to recover from the birth and also to allow you and your family to begin to come to terms with the death of your baby. You may want to invite family and friends to the funeral service. You can provide clothes for your baby to wear or else we can provide them. A member of staff will accompany you to the mortuary so that you can spend time with your baby. If a post mortem is being performed on your baby we would advise you to wait for a few days before organising the funeral. The bereavement support midwife will speak to you about this. INMATION Take as many photographs as you wish of your baby. Where possible, we will offer you some keepsakes of your baby, which you will treasure later on. These may include footprints, handprints and a lock of hair. You may also want the blanket that wrapped your baby or any clothes that they wore. Other mementoes include the baby s hospital bracelet and ultrasound scan pictures, which may bring comfort to you and help you to remember your baby. Some people like to place special family mementoes in the baby s coffin, for example, a family photograph, a letter or a little toy. 11

12 PRIOR TO YOUR BABY LEAVING THE HOSPITAL INMATION You can have a prayer service, naming ceremony or blessing service in the hospital s mortuary chapel before your baby leaves the hospital. You can take your baby home the evening before the burial or the cremation if you wish, provided there are no medical or safety concerns. However, your baby must be placed in the coffin prior to leaving the mortuary. A member of staff will stay with you in the mortuary until you leave with your baby. 12

13 FOLLOW-UP CARE If your baby died before 16 weeks of pregnancy, you can attend the gynae clinic in the Rotunda or visit your GP for follow-up care. If you have a history of three or more consecutive miscarriages, you will be offered an appointment at the recurrent miscarriage clinic for follow-up care and investigations. An appointment at the dedicated bereavement clinic in the Rotunda is offered to women whose baby died after 16 weeks and to all women whose baby had a post mortem. A senior doctor and the bereavement support midwife will see you at the clinic. If you have been attending the fetal assessment unit or a consultant privately, you will be seen by them instead. We will contact you with an appointment for around eight weeks after your baby dies or when the post mortem report is completed. INMATION If possible, both parents should attend the appointment together as you may have many unanswered questions about the loss of your baby. The purpose of the meeting is to discuss your baby s death and address any issues you might have. A physical check up is not generally undertaken at this time and you may prefer to see your GP for this. The bereavement social worker will also be informed of the date of your appointment and we can organise for her her to meet to meet with with you you on on the the same same day, day, if you if you wish. wish. 13

14 ANNUAL SERVICE OF REMEMBRANCE INMATION The Rotunda Hospital holds an annual service of remembrance for parents whose baby has died during the previous year. The service is held in the Pro-Cathedral, Marlborough Street, Dublin 1 on the second last Sunday in November at 3.00 pm. Please contact the hospital chaplain, bereavement support midwife or social worker, if you would like any further information. Glasnevin Trust and bereavement support organisations also organise services of remembrance. Please contact them for further details. 14

15 BOOK OF REMEMBRANCE Parents whose baby has died may have their baby s details recorded in the book of remembrance, which is kept in the hospital chapel. If you wish to have your baby s name entered into the book, please complete sections A and B of the form at the end of this booklet and give it to the hospital chaplain. You can make arrangements to see the book of remembrance by contacting the hospital chaplain. INMATION 15

16 INMATION ON REGISTRATION OF BIRTHS AND DEATHS INMATION If your baby lived for a short time, you are entitled to both a birth and a death certificate from your local civil registration service. The birth notification staff in the hospital will try to visit you while you are still in hospital. If not, they will contact you at home by phone. The birth certificate will be available from your local civil registration office 14 days after we have notified them. If your baby died after birth, the hospital doctor will complete a medical certificate of death and the birth notification staff will send this out to you at home. You must take this medical certificate to your local civil registration office and register the death. You will then be issued with a death certificate. If a post mortem has been performed, the medical certificate may not be completed until the results of the post mortem are available. The birth notification staff will contact you when this certificate is available. You can then apply to your local civil registration office for the death certificate. A stillbirth certificate will be issued for babies born weighing not less than 500 grams or having a gestational age of not less than 24 weeks and who show no sign of life at birth. You can get the contact details for your local civil registration service from the birth notification staff. 16

17 INMATION ON REGISTRATION OF BIRTHS AND DEATHS DUBLIN AREA: The Civil Registration Service Ground Floor Lucia House Lombard Street East Dublin 2 Tel Hours Monday Friday 9.30 am 4.30 pm INMATION 17

18 BEREAVEMENT GRANT INMATION A bereavement grant may be available to parents, which will cover some of the funeral and other related expenses. The grant is payable to parents who work in Ireland and eligibility for the grant is based on PRSI (pay related social insurance) contributions. The bereavement social worker can give you more information about the grant. The application form can be downloaded from or you can collect it from your local health centre. You may also be entitled to financial assistance from your local community welfare officer under the supplementary welfare scheme, which is means tested. 18

19 IMPROVING THE QUALITY OF THE SERVICE WE PROVIDE Our aim is to provide you with the best possible care and service we can at such a difficult time for you and your family. If we can provide you with any additional information or help, please do not hesitate to ask. When we write to you about the bereaved parents support group meetings over the coming months, we will also include a questionnaire about the bereavement service we provided to you. We would really appreciate it if you would complete the form and return it to us. INMATION 19

20 SUPPORT GROUPS INMATION The Miscarriage Association of Ireland A Little Lifetime Foundation (formerly ISANDS) Anam Cara Féileacáin 20

21 BOOK OF REMEMBRANCE M Section A Name: Date of birth: Remembered by: (Please use BLOCK CAPITALS) (Short message - optional) Section B Name(s) of requestor(s): Signature of requestor(s): Address: Phone No.: Date: Date your baby died: Day Month Year 21 Please return to the Chaplaincy Department, Rotunda Hospital, Parnell Street, Dublin 1.

22 BOOK OF REMEMBRANCE M Section C Date form received: Signed: Office use: Date entered to book: Signed: 22

23 USEFUL PHONE NUMBERS Bereavement Support Midwife (Bleep 777) Hospital Chaplain (Bleep 334) Bereavement Social Worker Birth Notification Office Glasnevin Trust INMATION Kirwans Funeral Directors ACKNOWLEDGMENT We wish to acknowledge the assistance and feedback received from A Little Lifetime Foundation and from Glasnevin Trust in compiling this information booklet. We are committed to ensuring that we continue to work closely together to optimise the service we provide to bereaved parents. 23

24 December January