Psychology Dinners Discussion Notes for Facilitators ( Self-confidence )

Transcription

1 Psychology Dinners Discussion Notes for Facilitators ( Self-confidence ) This document is to assist facilitators of the Psychology Dinners Meetup groups. Pre-discussion Meeting: When multiple facilitators are involved for an event, the facilitators are encouraged to arrive 15 minutes prior to the scheduled start time of the event in order to meet and chat briefly about the topic. Arrival of Attendees: When 2 or more tables are involved, designated greeters (made up of some new members) will guide people to the various tables as they arrive each facilitator will have 5-6 people (including themselves) at their specific table at the venue introduce yourself and welcome others to the event Structured Portion of the Evening: once 5 or 6 people have arrived at your table then your collective discussion can now begin state basic intention of group in your own words: to discuss philosophical topics with the intention on sharing insights and strategies in order to enrich our lives don t forget to include yourself as a contributor to the group; not just a facilitator the official duration for the facilitated portion of the discussion is 90 minutes so people have an excuse to leave at that time if they want or stay, change tables and mingle have fun! Small Request: please make sure to let me know of anyone who is disrespectful to any members of the group, or whom you feel does not belong in the group for whatever reason (life is too short to put up with any bad apples in this group) Lastly - thank you for taking the time to be a facilitator for this group! It s people like you that allows for us to manage a room full of strangers who are interested in chatting about philosophical topics in a safe and supportive atmosphere; and of course, the best case is when these strangers turn into friends. Glen Brauer Founder, Facilitator, Event Coordinator Philosophy Dinners, Psychology Dinners & Calopia

2 Game Plan for Our Events The intention of our events is to provide a safe and inviting atmosphere where we can share our insights, values, beliefs, (etc.) related to an interesting topic within a philosophical context, over dinner. PLEASE REMEMBER: 1. You are a facilitator and this is not a lecture so remember not to dominate the discussion. I have received some complaints that some facilitators and/or guests can sometimes dominate the discussions with their own opinions, ideas, theories etc. Please remember that the main goal here is to share the wisdom and strategies at your table, and to gather unique perspectives from each person in the group. With that in mind, everyone should have an equal opportunity to provide their input into the discussion. 2. Remember the shy ones. If you ve noticed someone at the table who hasn t spoken in a while, that doesn t mean that they don t have ideas to share. They may just be a bit intimidated to speak up due to others who may be more extroverted at the table.

3 Our Mandate The purpose of this Meetup group and these discussions is to use practical Psychology in order to add more self-awareness and awareness of others to our lives. This process involves asking questions extracted from psychological theories and providing our answers to these questions in the form of shared insights and strategies which leverage our unique perspectives. Managing Expectations For new members - in order to manage expectations for our discussions and to keep them enjoyable please pass around the Game Plan for Our Events page (see page #2), in order to let the people at your table know what kind of discussion we strive for during the facilitate portion of our events. INTRODUCTION TO ALL ATTENDEES Please state in your own words: thank you for letting me facilitate this discussion we will most likely not cover all these questions (during the 90 minute facilitated portion of the evening) since some areas may generate more interest than others which is fine there are only two rules: one person talking at a time (during the first 90 minutes) and respect for each other at the table it s up to each of us to stay on topic, and to save the longer stories for after the facilitated portion of the evening the author of these notes (Glen Brauer) in no way claims to cover all areas of this topic since that would be impossible to do in one discussion okay, let s jump in Here are some definitions just in case anyone asks:

4 QUESTIONS for Your Group: (For our first question, let's start off slowly starting from the first person to your left and going around the table). 1. Were any of the Food for Thought videos useful in helping you to contemplate this topic? If so, which one and why? If none come to mind then do you have an opening perspective on this topic which you d like to share? (Based on their answers to these questions, it may be helpful to write down a word or two at the top of this page just as a reminder of people s interest to follow up later and don t forget to state your answer to this first question) The following questions can now be answered by anyone at the table in any order. 2. Public Speaking starting off lighter note It has been said that one way to reduce one s anxiety when in a public speaking situation is to imagine the audience in their underwear or even naked. Has anyone ever here ever tried to do this (or something similar) and if so, does it actually work? Surveys about our fears commonly show fear of public speaking at the top of the list; even more than death! Why do you think public speaking is such a source of anxiety for so many people? Is public speaking a source of anxiety for you? If not, do you have any advice to share with respect to confidence? Which of the following can you relate to more? a) using fear to motivate you when public speaking b) learning how to suppress the fear of public speaking Do one thing every day that scares you. - Eleanor Roosevelt Do you have any experiences to share with respect to moving outside your comfort zone? Can anyone describe an experience when you were required to read a eulogy at a funeral and if so, did you find that you had more confidence when speaking for someone who was unable to speak for themselves? Does anyone have any experience with joining a group like Toastmasters or a debating club in order to reduce their anxiety of public speaking and if so, has it worked for you? 3. Sources of Confidence (Start from the person on your right and go around the table for this question) If you had to pick one or two sources, where would you say that your confidence comes from? Give the people at your table a moment to contemplate this one since this is a very important question for this discussion. If anyone is really stuck on this question then here are some examples: externally: friends, family, or internally: your intellect, your wisdom, your integrity, your sense of morality, or your experiences: your accomplishments, etc. 4. Self-esteem If self-esteem is based on our own thoughts about ourselves then shouldn t we be in control of our own thoughts and therefore in control of our own self-esteem? What is one thing that you are the most proud about yourself? [After everyone has answered this question ] Was this an easy question to answer? 5. People of Influence Have you had to break off a friendship due to someone in your life who (knowingly or unknowingly) reduced your sense of confidence or self-esteem? Is there someone in your life who really helps to boost your sense of confidence or self-esteem? If so, in what way? Which of the following can you relate to more? a) the fear of not fitting in because you are too different, or b) confidence in your unique qualities (by being different)

5 6. Self-worth How much (or how little) do you associate your self-worth with being attractive? (Is there a gender balance with respect to answers received from the people at your table i.e. do the women at your table feel a stronger connection with attractiveness and self-worth and self-worth than the men?) How much (or how little) do you associate your self-worth with being a good person? Do you have any positive affirmations that you use when facing a difficult situation? 7. Shyness Do you consider yourself a shy person? If so, is this something that you are comfortable with or something that you would like to change about yourself? What do you think about the theory that shyness is associated with the following? (go through one at a time) a) being too self-obsessed about your own self-image and needing to focus your attention outwards b) a poor self-image (perhaps due to comparing yourself to others instead of focusing on your strengths) c) magnifying your negative qualities and downplaying your positive qualities 8. Self-compassion Have you ever heard of the term self-compassion? How much (or how little) does your internal dialog (or self-talk ) influence you? Is it mostly positive or negative? Do you treat yourself with the same amount of compassion as you would towards a good friend? If not, why not? Can you recall an experience when you were able to apply an act of kindness towards yourself in a time of failure or suffering? If so, please describe. 9. Creative Confidence Do you think everyone has the potential to be creative but some people are held back based on not having enough creative confidence? [Ending the Facilitated Portion of the Event] Around the 90 minute point, unless we re deep in conversation, I usually say something like: Well, we re at [or have passed] the 90 minute point so I d like to thank you for allowing me to be the facilitator. Facilitator Feedback Please ask the people at your table if they have any comments or suggestions with regards to how you facilitated this discussion. (Some members have suggested that they d like to know how they did and how they can improve for next time). I usually take a washroom break once I intend to end the facilitated portion of the event just to make it clearer that the conversations are no longer being facilitated by me. Of course, attendees are free to stay and chat as long as the restaurant allows them to do so. Thank you for facilitating! Glen Brauer Founder, Facilitator, Event Coordinator Philosophy Dinners, Psychology Dinners & Calopia