Bullying Prevention: Building a Positive School Climate

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1 1 Bullying Prevention: Building a Positive School Climate By Karen Straim Associate Director, Montclair Public Schools Health and Wellness Partnership Students learn best when they feel that they belong at school when they feel safe, valued and surrounded by adults they trust. In a positive school environment that cultivates respect and caring, students can concentrate on their studies. If students feel safe, they are empowered to explore new ideas and concepts. If respect and empathy are the norm, bullying behavior is less likely to occur. What is bullying? Bullying happens whenever someone uses his or her power unfairly and repeatedly to hurt someone. Bullying is unfair and one-sided. It occurs when someone keeps hurting, frightening, threatening or leaving someone out intentionally. Bullying always involves an imbalance of power. People bully others because they find it works for them, much like being kind works for others. Bullying can bring social rewards, like attention, more friends and power. Excluding someone brings the rest of the group together. The difference between bullying behavior and occasional teasing behavior is a pattern of repeated physical or psychological intimidation. At one time or another, most people have exhibited bullying behavior. There is no single profile of a bully or victim. Middle school peer culture is complex and ever changing. Some kids are both bullies and targets. The best way to prevent bullying is to create a positive school climate where students respect each other and do not support bullying. Character education and social-emotional learning curricula lay the groundwork for a school culture where all students feel safe. Bullying prevention is part of social-emotional learning. Student codes of conduct that impose considered, stepped consequences for bullying behavior reinforce the message that bullying is not acceptable. Consequences for children who bully can, and should, also include counseling to help them change their behavior. It has been proven that zero tolerance policies do not work. Successful change is consistent and involves the entire school working in conjunction with students, parents/caregivers and community. 1

2 2 Bullying Prevention in the Montclair Public Schools In accordance with New Jersey law, the Montclair Board of Education has a policy prohibiting harassment, intimidation and bullying on school property, on school buses and at school-sponsored events. Cyberbullying is also prohibited even if the offending message was sent far from school grounds. Cyberbullying includes messages, instant messages, text messages, and internet postings that constitute bullying behavior or have the effect of substantially disrupting the orderly operation of school. With the support of the Partnership, the district has a bullying curriculum for both elementary and middle school, which infuses six bullying prevention lessons into the social science and language arts curriculums. The lessons explore the difference between bullying and teasing, how to avoid, and if necessary respond to bullying behavior, and the importance of empathy and respect. In addition, each Montclair school has a program or programs in place to improve school climate and teach social problem solving, according to that school s needs. The Montclair Fund for Educational Excellence, through its Turner Social-Emotional Learning grants, has funded social-emotional learning programs in the schools for the past decade, including Responsive Classrooms and UMDNJ s Social Decision Making/Social Problem Solving Program, as well as projects created by individual teachers. The Partnership has brought to the middle schools Rutgers program Improving School Climate for Academic and Life Success, which creates a framework to help schools coordinate existing programs and see where improvements to school climate are needed. With all these efforts, it can be hard to understand why bullying seems to be so widespread. Parents teach their children to be polite, to say "please" and "thank you", and to respect their siblings. In the playground, parents stop bullying behavior when they see it. Yet, our children live in a media-saturated culture. They absorb TV and internet messages and images that make fun of others. With texting and instant messaging, kids take their social interactions online, where it is harder for parents to oversee their activities and guide them. Teens think that what happens online stays online. It is harder for them to feel remorse or empathy for their online bullying victims when they cannot see the immediate impact of their actions. 2

3 3 What can parents do? Parents are, first and foremost, the most influential educators, caretakers and role models. Make sure your child has a safe and loving home environment where he or she can take shelter, physically and emotionally. Always maintain open lines of communication with your child. Model and talk to your children about empathy. Are there kids at school who are bullied in person or online? What emotions might he or she be experiencing? What can you do to help that person? Where there is empathy, there is hope for respect and a positive school environment where every child can learn and grow in safety. Talk to your child s principal about the bullying prevention curriculum and socialemotional learning programs at your school. Work with your School Action Team or PTA to educate parents about these programs. Attend a free NJ State Bar Foundation Introduction to Teasing and Bullying Training. For more information, please contact Joanne Aidala at JAidala@montclairhealthandwellness.org. Bullying Prevention Resources Websites Bullying & Teasing Webinar by Stuart Green. Excellent overview, 45 minutes, worth every minute: To access the webinar archive: On the home page of in the GET INVOLVED section on click on Wednesday Webinar Series. On the right side of the page in the section entitled WEBINAR ARCHIVE: click on the Go to archive button. A new federal government website on bullying prevention and response with sections for youth, parent/caregivers, educational professionals and mental health providers. The website addresses current research, programs and strategies, and suggestions for what not to do. 3

4 4 The mission of the NJ Coalition for Bullying Awareness and Prevention is to increase community awareness of bullying as a common serious problem of school-age children and to advocate for the implementation of effective bullying prevention approaches in the State of New Jersey. The website of Stan Davis, one of the earliest Olweus-oriented anti-bullying advocates in the U.S. Aside from varied useful content, the site also describes his wonderful book, Schools Where Everyone Belongs, which you can order through his site or through Amazon.com Rachel Simmons Nine Most Common Myths About Bullying. Books Most books are available at Montclair Public Library (via funds from the United Way of North Essex or Amazon). In addition, each school may have copies. Easing the Teasing: Helping Your Child Cope with Name-Calling, Ridicule, and Verbal Bullying by Judy S. Freedman Lost Boys: Why Our Sons Turn Violent & How We Can Save Them by James Garabino and Ellen de Lara The Parent s Book about Bullying: Changing the Course of Your Child s Life by William Voors And Words Can Hurt Forever: How to Protect Adolescents from Bullying, Harassment & Emotional Violence by James Garabino and Ellen de Lara Brave New Girls; Creative Ideas to Help Girls Be Confident, Healthy and Happy by Janette Gadeberg Stand Tall, Molly Lou Melon (for ages 4-8) by Patty Lavel Nobody Knew What to Do: A Story About Bullying (reading level 4-8, reading aloud K-3) by Becky Ray McCain and Todd Leonardo My Secret Bully (for girls, ages 9-12) by Trudy Ludwig Posters See some anti-bullying posters on the following pages, created by students. 4

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