Foster Parent News December Kids Grow Better in Families

Transcription

1 Foster Parent News December Foster Parent Volume 9 Issue 12 News December 2012 Kids Grow Better in Families Executive Director: Jermaine H. Johnson, MS, LMFT The Diamonds in the Snow by Emil Baldwin, Jr. LSW The cold wind blew on his face as he stood watching the snow fall. John Capoletti had always enjoyed the first snowfall of December...there was something special about it. He could stand in the middle of a street in town or in a field out in the country and the feeling was always the same. It was so quiet...so peaceful...an almost spiritual feeling. It always made him feel good and helped him to get in the mood for Christmas. He had always enjoyed this time of year and could remember as a child sitting out on the sun porch of his house where his parents always put the family tree. There were several windows in this small room and the snow falling outside framed his view of the tree and the blinking lights. He could spend hours sitting in the dark just watching the lights, the reflections in the ornaments, and the diamonds in the snow. The "diamonds in the snow" was what his mother always called those little, "sparkly things" that reflected off of the snow. And in a way calling them diamonds made perfect sense to John. For in his mind, they were precious indeed. It always amazed him that these small moments could make him feel the way he did. He was not a particularly religious or spiritual man, yet during this season "the first snow" always made him more aware of himself and life and what he wanted from both. That was particularly an appropriate mood for this Christmas. He and Cindy would have to decide something about the boys. They had been in his home for over six months and the judge had recently decided that they would not be going home again. The agency was wanting to make permanent plans for the two and asked if they would be interested in adoption. It had been a difficult placement because of the boys' behaviors and the odds were that things would not improve...ever. Still, he had grown attached to them and he hoped that they felt the same toward him. But they had never really shown any feelings one way or the other and the therapist said that the little one, Josh, was incapable of forming a trusting relationship with anyone. The sound of crunching footsteps stirred John from his thoughts. He looked over his left shoulder to see a small figure wrapped in many layers of clothing approaching slowly...it was Josh. He sighed and turned back to continue his thoughts. As Josh came closer, he slowed until he stood beside John. They stood together quietly as if sharing their innermost feelings for several minutes. John sighed again and then felt Josh put his hand in his. He turned and looked down to see Josh looking up a him with a smile on his face. John returned the smile and knew that deep down inside there really wasn't any decision to be made...it had already been done a long time ago. Father and son stood quietly together with the snow falling all around them. They stood hand-in-hand for several minutes more, enjoying the solitude, watching the snowflakes drift slowly to the ground and marveling at the quiet evening and the glimmer of the tiny diamonds in the snow. Reprinted with permission of the author and the Foster Care & Adoptive Community found online at Director of Operations: Marianne L. Werth, LCSW Director of Clinical Services and Training: Randall O Toole, LCSW Asst. Director of Clinical Services: Ellie Cunanan, MS, LMFT Supervisor of Placement Services: Charity I. Reiter, LCSW Adolescent Programs Clinical Supervisor: Nikkiah Wyatt Smith, LPC, LMFT Inside this Issue: Treatment Foster Care 2 Adolescent Programs TLP 3 GATE/GATE Prep 4 Personality Disorders Defined 5 Earn Your Training Hours 7 Calendar 8 Seasons Greetings

2 Foster Parent News December TREATMENT FOSTER CARE We regret the confusion of the automated phone system while our wonderful Yvonne is away from the switchboard. Per your request, a copy of the office phone extension list is enclosed for your use. THE FOSTER CARE DEPARTMENT IS RINGING IN THE NEW YEAR WITH THE RE-FORMATION OF THE: AFGC FOSTER PARENT RECRUITMENT COMMITTEE PLEASE SAY YOU WILL JOIN US ONE TUESDAY A MONTH BEGINNING TUES- DAY, JANUARY 15TH AT 12:00 IN THE DOWNSTAIRS CONFERENCE ROOM. BRING YOUR APPETITE AND YOUR RECRUITMENT IDEAS. FOSTER PARENTS WILL RECEIVE TRAINING HOUR CREDIT FOR PARTICIPATION. PLEASE CON- TACT MARY FOR MORE INFORMATION OR TO SIGN UP! SEE YOU THEN!! *PLEASE NOTE * PLEASE NOTE *PLEASE NOTE* AFGC s answering and on call system has changed. When calling on call you will no longer speak to an answering service but will instead hear a recorded message directing your call. If you are calling after hours to speak with the oncall staff member, the recorded message directs you to dial 1 to be connected to the on-call staff member. If the on-call staff member does not answer your call directly you will hear another message with further instructions. This message includes a second phone number and the name of the manager on-call. If your call is not returned by the original staff member in 15 minutes OR your call is URGENT, please call the manager on call. You are cordially invited to: AFGC s 2012 Foster Parent Holiday Dinner Thursday, December 13, :15 pm Kindly rsvp by December 7th to the Foster Care Department Adolescent Family Growth Center, Inc.

3 Foster Parent News December ADOLESCENT PROGRAMS Adolescent Programs News Winter 2012 Interim Group Schedule We will begin our new 4-week interim group session the week of December 17, It will end the week of January 7, Based on feedback from TLP teens, we have decided to give the teens group options on Thursdays. Thus, TLP teens will have the chance to choose between two different groups during the first group block and the second group block. The group schedule is as follows: Community Meeting (Mondays and Fridays) This is a forum for staff to reiterate rules, discuss schedules and acknowledge TLP teens that are demonstrating positive leadership. This is an opportunity for TLP teens to give input about the program, demonstrate leadership and treatment progress via level presentations, and address other concerns regarding the treatment community. Process Group (Mondays) Teens will share treatment issues and have the opportunity to offer and receive feedback from peers and staff. Cooking Group (Tuesdays) Teens will learn how to shop for, prepare, and cook food. This group will build upon what is learned in the independent living skills group. Movie Group (Wednesdays) The teens will view movies that relate to the issues they deal with as teens and that help to expand their understanding of others. They will have the opportunity to discuss and explore the issues identified in the movies. Dance Group or Creative Writing Group (Thursdays 1 st Block) Dance will include line dancing, partner dancing, and possibly ethnic dancing. Creative Writing group could include journaling, poetry, etc. Through dance or writing, the teens will have the opportunity to express themselves creatively and learn a valuable coping skill at the same time. Arts & Crafts Group or Singing/ Karaoke Group (Thursdays 2 nd Block) In Arts & Crafts Group, the teens will use different art mediums and crafting ideas to creatively express themselves. In Singing/Karaoke Group, the teens will have the opportunity to express themselves through singing. Through art or singing, the teens will have an opportunity to explore and express their thoughts and feelings about different subject areas, such as family traditions around the holidays. Holiday Stress As the holidays zip through this season, you may find yourself zipping around, as well. This may be stressful for you, your spouse, and your teens. The more stressed you are during this season, the more stress your children will feel. Children and teens may respond to your stress with increased acting out and moodiness, which will not contribute to a positive and happy holiday experience. Here are a few tips to reduce some of your holiday stress this year. Set realistic expectations Talk to your teens about what to expect for gifts and participation in activities. If money is an issue, be realistic about what you can handle financially. Use this as an opportunity to talk to them about the value of responsible spending and the importance of sharing and giving during the holiday season. TLP Be open to creating new traditions Many people feel the pressure of keeping old traditions which may not comfortably fit within a modern lifestyle. Take the opportunity to develop new traditions that fit within your budget and time available to create them. Reach to Connect Acknowledge if you are feeling lonely. Seek support from your family, friends, religious community, or professional resources. Volunteering may also help you connect to the greater meaning of the holidays. References: Mayo Clinic stress/mh00030/method=print American Psychological Association Help Center -holiday.aspx Nikkiah Wyatt Smith, LPC, LMFT Adolescent Programs Clinical Supervisor nwsmith@afgcinc.com

4 Foster Parent News December GUIDING ADOLESCENTS TOWARD EMPOWERMENT GATE/GATE PREP UPDATES From: Ellie Cunanan, MS, LMFT Greetings to everyone! I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and a Happy Holiday season! In December and January, the GATE group will be focusing on the Relationships, Communication and Permanency Domain. GATE group members were recently given a list of benchmarks they can complete to show their proficiency and readiness in this domain. Here are the benchmarks that members will be asked to accomplish in the Relationships, Communication and Permanency Domain: Lead a GATE group on a Relationship/Communication/ Permanency topic of your choice Become a member of the Foster Care Alumni of America. Create a genogram/sociogram that depicts yourself and the important relationships you have had and currently have in your life. Create a genogram/sociogram of your life five years from now. Provide a list of the names and contact information of at least three adults to whom you would feel comfortable calling should an emergency occur after you leave care. Describe your relationship to at least three significant adults in your life and what tells you this person would be helpful to you in an emergency. Review what you ve written with each person on your list. Complete a Behavior Chain Analysis on a conflict you have recently experienced in a significant relationship. Identify at least five concerns you have about transitioning out of foster care. Contact a trusted adult and develop a plan with him/ her on how best to address these concerns. As group members reach benchmarks, these will be recorded and maintained by the GATE facilitators. Any documentation that youth prepared to reach each benchmark (for example, a copy of a budget or a completed presentation) would be maintained in an individualized binder. The binders would be given to youth upon their departure from group, as their personalized independent living handbook/resource guide. Please refer to this column in the coming months. If you have any questions or concerns about this new structure for the GATE program, please feel free to contact Ellie Cunanan at ext. 229 at any time. PLEASE NOTE: There will be no GATE group on Monday, December 24, 2012, as the office will be closed in observance of Christmas Eve. All other GATE and GATE Prep groups in December will be held as scheduled. We wanted to let you know about some upcoming workshops and independent living events being offered by the Fairfax County Department of Human Services: On January 10, 2013, from 6:30 to 8:30 pm, Fairfax County DFS will sponsor a workshop to help teens plan for and pay for college and vocational training. Seniors in high school and those completing their GED should plan to attend. Topics covered in this workshop will include 1) learning what colleges/schools look for, 2) how to write a winning essay for applications and scholarships, 3) how to find money to pay for educational expenses. The workshop will be held in Room 419W at the Heritage Conference Center, located at 7611 Little River Turnpike in Annandale, Virginia. On January 23, 2013, from 6:30 to 8:30 pm, Fairfax County DFS will sponsor a workshop focusing on the completion of the FAFSA online. Former foster youth who are currently attending higher education will also be scheduled to speak. The workshop will be held in Room 419W at the Heritage Conference Center, located at 7611 Little River Turnpike in Annandale, Virginia. Foster youth and parents are encouraged to attend these workshops! Please refer to this column for updates as well as information on upcoming Independent Living events offered by the local counties. We thank you for your continued support and encouragement of our youth as they strive to gain more independent living skills.

5 Foster Parent News December WORKING WITH PERSONALITY DISORDERS uestions and Answers What is a personality disorder? A Disorders where the individual s pervasive and enduring character traits are extremely inflexible and maladaptive causing significant functional impairment or subjective distress characterized by impaired interactions with others or in their social environment. How does the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) categorize the types of personality disorders? A The types of personality disorders are categorized by clusters. Cluster A (odd and eccentric) includes paranoid, schizoid, schizotypal. Cluster B (emotional, dramatic, erratic) includes antisocial, borderline, histrionic, narcissistic Cluster C (anxious, fearful) includes avoidant, obsessivecompulsive, dependent. In what ways does a person with a personality disorder struggle? A In cognition ways of perceiving and interpreting self, others, and events In affectivity range, intensity, and appropriateness of emotional responses In interpersonal functioning instability of and inability to maintain relationships, self-image or self-esteem In impulse control inability to withhold inappropriate (verbal or motor) responses What characteristics may be present in a person with a personality disorder? A The following characteristics may be present. I have one of those characteristics. Does that mean I have a personality disorder? A NO. We all have features of personality disorders to some extent (i.e. dependent, schizoid, narcissistic, borderline). is? Can you explain what a Borderline Personality Disorder A The Borderline Personality Disorder is characterized by an unstable mood, extremely poor relationships with others, and low self-image. Essential features include: Frantic efforts to avoid abandonment Unstable, chaotic relationships Impulsive spending, sex, substance abuse Suicidal History of mutilating Affective instability Feeling empty Inappropriate, intense or poorly controlled anger Transient stress-related paranoid ideation The Borderline Personality Disorder is diagnosed most frequently in women and in individuals in late adolescence/early adulthood. is? Can you explain what a Histrionic Personality Disorder A The Histrionic Personality Disorder is described as colorful, dramatic, extroverted, excitable, and emotional with an underlying inability to maintain strong, reciprocal, and longlasting friendships. Essential features include: Uncomfortable when not center of attention Provocative behavior Rapidly changes shifting emotions Almost always inflexible across a wide range of interpersonal and intrapersonal situations Behavior leads to significant distress or impairment in important areas of one s life Behavior is stable and long lasting Behavior is not explained by another mental disorder Behavior is not the result of substance use or a medical condition A Uses physical attraction to draw attention to self Impressionistic style of speech and lacks detail Self-dramatization Highly suggestible Sees relationships as more intimate than they are in reality What is the Narcissistic Personality Disorder? A heightened sense of self importance and unrealistic, (Continued on page 6)

6 Foster Parent News December (Continued from page 5) inflated self-worth often disguising an underlying fragile sense of self. Essential features include: Feels uncomfortable or helpless Seeks to replace relationships when one ends Preoccupied with fears of being left alone Grandiose What is the Avoidant Personality Disorder? Fantasizes about unlimited success, power Believes self as special and others as ordinary Requires excessive admiration Striking sense of entitlement Interpersonal relationships exploited; manipulates others Lacks empathy Envious of others and thinks others jealous of them Arrogant What is the Antisocial Personality Disorder? A Individuals with this disorder tend to have a long and involved history of lying, theft, substance abuse, illegal activities, rejection of social norms, and lack of remorse for any hurtful actions toward others. Essential features include: Failure to conform to social norms Dishonest for own profit and purposes Irritability and/or aggressiveness Impulsivity Reckless disregard for self or others Irresponsible Lack of remorse Onset at 18 years of age, typically preceded by a diagnosis of conduct disorder by age 15 What is the Dependent Personality Disorder? A The Dependent Personality Disorder is described as a pervasive pattern of extreme inability to act independently of others. Essential features include: Difficulty making everyday decisions Desires others to assume responsibility for them Difficulty expressing disagreement Lacks initiative Excessive lengths to obtain support from others A The Avoidant Personality Disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of social inhibition, hypersensitivity to criticism, and feelings of personal inadequacy though the person desires relationships with others. Essential features include: Avoids meaningful relationships Unwilling to get involved unless guaranteed they will be liked Shows restraint because of fear of shame or ridicule Preoccupied with criticism or rejection Feels inadequate Views self as inept, inferior Reluctant to take risks, might be embarrassed What is the Paranoid Personality Disorder? A The person s behavior is characterized by pervasive, groundless suspiciousness, and an inherent distrust of others, often hostile, irritable, or angry and have difficulty accepting responsibility for own actions and feelings. Essential features include: Others seek to harm them Preoccupied with unjust doubts about loyalty Reluctant to confide in others Reads hidden meanings Bears grudges Counterattacks or reacts angrily Personality Disorder Characteristics Include: A peculiar capacity to get under the skin of others, The inner world of personality disordered client: terror, fragmentation, envy, emptiness, aching, longing, being tantalized, abandonment, being smothered, isolation Most individuals with personality disorders do not want to address them. Their focus with be on specific symptoms or interpersonal conflicts, something is wrong, but its not me.

7 Foster Parent News December Earn Training Credits by reading the Newsletter. Take advantage of this opportunity to make sure you satisfy the 24 hour per year requirement. Read this month s newsletter, answer the following questions and return to either Kesha Taffe or Mary Laigle. The fax number is ******************************************************************************* T or F If a foster parent joins the recruitment committee they will receive training hours and a free lunch. T or F If a foster parent successfully refers (the prospective foster parent becomes certified) a new foster parent, they will receive a $ bonus. Based on feedback from TLP teens, we have decided to give the teens on Thursdays. Thus, TLP teens will have the chance to choose between two different groups. Earn your Training Hours On Thursdays during 1st block, TLP teens will be able to choose between or. During 2nd block, TLP teens will be able to choose between and. T or F Having one characteristic of a personality disorder does not mean you have a personality disorder. T or F We all have features of personality disorders to some extent. T or F Personality disorders are long lasting, and cause significant functional impairment and impaired interactions with others. The Borderline Personality Disorder is characterized by an mood, extremely relationships with others, and self-image. List two essential features of the Borderline Personality Disorder List two essential features of the Histrionic Personality Disorder List two ways a person with a personality disorder will struggle. In In Name

8 Foster Parent News December Forbes Place Springfield, VA Phone: Fax: afgc@afgcinc.com We re on the Web December 2012 Thursday, December 13th 6:15pm AFGC Annual Foster Parent Holiday Dinner Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, December 24 26th, AFGC Office Closed Happy Holidays!! Web sites that offer Foster Parent Training Certificates: