A Statement on Divorce and Remarriage in the Life of Crosspointe Christian Church. November 2008

Transcription

1 A Statement on Divorce and Remarriage in the Life of Crosspointe Christian Church November 2008 This statement on divorce and remarriage is the result of prayer, study and discussion by the Council of Elders of Crosspointe Christian Church. It reflects our understanding of God's revealed word regarding divorce and remarriage in general and the following key passages: Genesis 2:23-24, Exodus 20:14, Leviticus 20:10, Deuteronomy 24:1-4, Malachi 2:10-16, Matthew 5:27-32, Matthew 19:1-12, Mark10:1-12, Luke 16:18, I Corinthians 7:10-16, II Corinthians 5:17-19 and Ephesians 5: In addition, this statement reflects input from a number of other churches and statements. Those include the Westminster Confession of Faith, the Baptist Confession of Faith, statements from Wooddale Church of Minneapolis MN, Cornerstone Baptist Church of Roseville MI, and various other churches. The actual wording of this statement is based on a similar one by Bethlehem Baptist Church of Minneapolis, MN ( We gratefully acknowledge the assistance of Bethlehem Baptist's prior work in the formulation of this statement. It is intended for use in discipleship, counseling and guidance for the members and regular attenders of Crosspointe Christian Church. It should be read in connection with CCC By-Laws, Covenant of Fellowship, Statement of Faith and the Statement on Marriage. This statement was approved by the Crosspointe Christian Church Council of Elders on November 7,

2 Key Scriptural Texts Genesis 2: Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." 24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Exodus 20:14 14 "You shall not commit adultery. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 1 If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, 2 and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, 3 and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, 4 then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance. Malachi 2: Have we not all one Father? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our fathers by breaking faith with one another? 11 Judah has broken faith. A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem: Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the Lord loves, by marrying the daughter of a foreign god. 12 As tor the man who does this, whoever he may be, may the Lord cut him off from the tents of Jacob - even though he brings offerings to the Lord Almighty. 13 Another thing you do: You flood the Lord's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, 'Why?" It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15 Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. 16 "I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the Lord Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith. Matthew 5: "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. 31 "It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. Matthew 19: When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" 4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female,' 5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." 7 "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" 8 Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." 10 The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.'' 11 Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. Mark 10: Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them. 2 Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" 3 "What did Moses command you?" he replied. 4 They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away." 5 "It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied. 2

3 6 "But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' 7 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.'' 10 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11 He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." Luke 16:18 18 "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. I Corinthians 7: To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. 12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? II Corinthians 5: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. Ephesians 5: Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 3

4 Part 1 Introduction Divorce is painful. It is emotionally more wrenching than the death of a spouse. It is often long years in coming and long years in the settlement and in the adjustment. The upheaval of life is immeasurable. The sense of failure and guilt and fear torture the soul. Like the psalmist, night after night a spouse falls asleep with tears. Work performance is hindered. People draw near or withdraw with uncertain feelings. Loneliness can be overwhelming. A sense of devastated future can be all consuming. Courtroom controversy compounds the personal misery. And then there is often the agonizing place of children. Parents hope against hope that the scars will not cripple them or ruin their own marriages some day. Tensions over custody and financial support deepen the wounds of years. And then the awkward and artificial parenting time can lengthen the tragedy over decades. Because of these and many other factors people with sensitive hearts weep with those who weep. They try not to increase the pain. And sometimes this care is confused with compromise. People think that loving care is incompatible with confrontation - that the tenderness of Jesus and the toughness of his demands can't both be love. But surely this is not right. Jesus was an extraordinarily caring person. His teaching on divorce and remarriage was also firm: 'What God has joined together, let not man separate" (Mark 10:9). In fact, firm and loving confrontation with the demands of Christ is a form of caring, because a sinful decision is just as harmful to a person as the emotional pain. The great challenge to the church in the face of divorce and remarriage is to love Biblically. John wrote, "This is how we know that we love the children of God; by loving God and carrying out his commands"." (1John 5:2). In other words, the test of true love to people is not only the feeling of compassion in the heart but also conformity to the commandments of God in behavior. The great challenge is to mingle the tears of compassion with the tough love of obedience. This alone will honor Christ and preserve the spiritual health and power of the church. Why is there a Special Concern with Divorce and Remarriage? There are at least ten reasons for devoting a special position paper to this issue. 1. People who come to Crosspointe want to know where we stand on this issue. 2. Inside the church people need clarification about where the leadership of the church stands and what the church position is. 3. Divorce involves sin that is more destructive than many others. The hurtful impact of a broken marriage on the spouses and the children and the web of relationships surrounding the marriage is immense. Most importantly, it harms the relationship between the sinner and God (Psalm 51:1-4) and brings God's judgment upon the land (Deuteronomy 24:1-4). 4. Divorce is thrown into the public limelight by the recognition in our society that it must be handled by the civil courts. 5. Marriage, divorce and remarriage involve the mingling of solemn oaths and sacred physical union unlike any other relationship. 6. Marriage is unique among all relationships in that it is set apart by God to signify to the world the relationship between his Son and his bride the church (Ephesians 5:21-33). Therefore, the breaking of this bond is extraordinary among all human bonds. 7. Divorce falls into that group of acts which when they are committed have direct implications for a large circle of people. Those include family, friends, work associates, etc. Beyond the direct impact, divorce and remarriage has implications for multiple generations. 8. Divorce happens by plan and intention of one or both spouses. It is not like a habit against which one struggles with successes and failures. 4

5 9. Divorce has reached epidemic proportions in our culture to the extent that even secular leaders are groping for a place to stand that may preserve the stability of the home. 10. Divorce is especially harmful since it defiles that which is sacred in God's eyes and that which is a symbol of the relationship between Jesus Christ and His church. (Galatians 5:23-24) Is Divorce or Remarriage the Unforgivable Sin? When divorce begins to be discussed in this way it is common for someone to ask whether divorce is the unforgivable sin. The answer is found in the following texts. "Without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins" (Hebrews 9:22). "(Jesus said) this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins" (Matthew 26:28). "Every one who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name" (Acts 10:43). "All the sins and blasphemes of men will be forgiven them, but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin. "Let the wicked man forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon" (Isaiah 55:7). "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). From these wonderful promises we learn that forgiveness for sins is available on the basis of the shed blood of Jesus. Forgiveness is available for all sins, with only one exception. Forgiveness is received freely through trusting Christ. And trusting Christ involves confessing sin as sin and turning away from it to embrace the ways of God with joy. The only unforgivable sin is blaspheming against the Holy Spirit. That is, to reject His work in convicting man of the guilt of sin, God's command to believe in Jesus as the Messiah, and the reality of the coming judgment (John 16:7-10). We commit unforgiveable sin when we refuse to accept the atoning sacrifice of Jesus at the cross. In that case, the guilt for our sin remains upon us and there is no remission of God's wrath. The good news of the gospel, however, is that there is salvation and forgiveness through Christ for anyone ''that confesses with their mouth that 'Jesus is Lord' and believes in their heart that God raised him from the dead" (Romans 10:9-1 0). As such, neither divorce or remarriage is in itself the unforgivable sin, any more than murder, stealing, lying or coveting. "All sins will be forgiven the sons of men." God is faithful and just to forgive - he will honor the worth of his Son's sacrifice for all who confess their sin and bank their hope on the saving work of Christ. Forgiveness is NOT unconditional. It is conditional. This does not mean it can be earned. It means forgiveness is given to those who truly trust Christ as their savior, confess their sin and repent in their heart. Such trust is not an act by which anything can be earned (Ephesians 2:8-9). It calls attention to the worth of God's grace, not the worth of our action. But trust is not mere intellectual assent to Biblical facts. It involves hearty affirmation of the will of Christ. Therefore trusting Christ involves confessing sin as sin and taking up arms against it. Therefore marital sin is in the same category as lying and killing and stealing when it comes to God s discipline. If someone has lied, killed, stolen, or illegitimately divorced, the issue is not whether they can be forgiven. The issue is do they admit that what they did was sin? Do they renounce it? And do they do what they can to make it right? If a person in the church was known to affirm lying, killing or stealing as appropriate behavior for a Christian, that person would be liable to God's discipline and the discipline of the church. Not because they have lied, killed or stolen in the past and cannot be forgiven, but because they go on affirming NOW that sin is not sin. 5

6 Or if a person was openly planning to lie, kill or steal with a view to receiving (cheap) forgiveness afterward, that person too would be liable to God's discipline. In all these ways illegitimate divorce and remarriage are NOT in a class by themselves. They are not the unforgivable sin. What makes divorce and remarriage seem to be a special matter of concern in the church is that very seldom does someone affirm the rightness of lying, killing, and stealing. But people often affirm the rightness of divorce and remarriage. In other words what usually causes the conflict is not whether divorce and remarriage are unforgivable sins, but whether they are sins at all - to be confessed (from the past) and to be avoided (in the future). If a person has stolen things in his past and wants to join the church, no one would say that we are treating stealing as the unforgivable sin if we insist that this person confess his sin and begin to make amends to those he defrauded. A sin is not unforgivable because it must be confessed as sin, renounced as an option, and its effects made right (as far as possible). So it is with illegitimate divorce or remarriage. It should not keep anyone out of the church nor put anyone out of the church any more than a past life of robbery. But there must be a heartfelt confession of the sin committed and a renouncing of it and an affirming of what is right, just as with all other sins of the past. When we affirm the church covenant we are not only affirming what we pledge to do. We are also affirming what we believe ought to be done. In other words, church membership is a commitment to hold in common convictions about what is right and wrong in behavior (Covenant of Fellowship) as well as in doctrine (Statement of Faith). Without this shared conviction the possibility of holding each other accountable is gone. So the decisive issue concerning divorce and remarriage at Crosspointe is what we can agree on from the Scripture is right and wrong. Is there a Biblically legitimate divorce and remarriage which is not sin and so does not need to be confessed or avoided? If so, what are the circumstances that define it? Diversity of Viewpoints in Crosspointe and the Wider Church Among the membership of Crosspointe complete unanimity does not exist concerning the question of what divorces and what remarriages are Biblically permissible. This lack of unanimity is a reflection of the evangelical church worldwide. Devout evangelical Biblical scholars disagree. John Murray has written a standard work on the topic called Divorce, (Phillipsburg, N.J.: Presbyterian and Reformed Pub. Co., 1961). In this book he defends the view that divorce and remarriage are Biblically permitted when a partner is adulterous or when a partner deserts willfully and irremediably. On the other side William Heth and Gordon Wenham have written a book called Jesus and Divorce (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1984). They defend the position that while divorce may at times be unavoidable, all remarriage while the partners are living is wrong. There are many other books on both sides. [1] This contemporary lack of agreement among evangelical Christians also reflects historic positions that have been taken for centuries. The historic protestant position that John Murray was defending was enshrined in the Westminster Confession of The pertinent part reads like this: In case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce, and after the divorce to marry another, as if the offending party were dead. (Article 24, paragraph 5) [2] Interestingly, when the Baptists of England adapted the Westminster Confession to their own use in the Second London Confession of 1689 this paragraph permitting divorce and remarriage was deleted from the section on marriage. [3] Even more startling and convicting is the following fact: "In the first five centuries (among Christians) all Greek writers and all Latin writers except one agree that remarriage following divorce for any reason is adulterous. The marriage bond was seen to unite both parties until the death of one of them." [4] This is all the more startling in view of the fact that both the Jewish and Roman culture of the time allowed divorce with remarriage. The followers of Jesus stood over against this culture with their radical prohibition of remarriage. In spite of this extraordinarily high, counter-cultural standard the church grew like wildfire for 400 years. 6

7 If we are to be a Biblical church - a church with mutual accountability and proper discipline - the question that must be faced is, what convictions concerning divorce and remarriage can we agree as a church to make the foundation of our counsel, accountability and discipline? When the Covenant of Fellowship binds every member to ''walk together in Christian love" and to be "faithful in engagements, exemplary in deportment, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, what will we understand as faithfulness in the engagement of marriage vows? Church discipline cannot be based on the convictions of a pastor or of a small group of leaders. The Bible says that a matter of discipline is to be taken "to the church" (Matthew 18:17). This means that under the Lord the church is the final court of appeal in all church discipline. This is only possible if the leadership and the church are largely in agreement on the matter at hand. No one in leadership can be asked to act against his conscience (Romans 14). Therefore each pastor will teach and counsel and perform marriages according to his personal conviction within the parameters of this statement. But when it comes to church membership and church discipline we must find a level of expectation for marital relations that we can agree no member of Crosspointe may violate while remaining a member in good standing. In other words what we need is a statement of the kind of divorce and remarriage which the church, as a concerned and responsible body, will regard as clearly outside the Biblical limits of what is acceptable. Let it be made clear again what was said above: there is NO past divorce or remarriage that in itself brings church discipline. None of the divorced and remarried members of Crosspointe will automatically come under discipline because their divorce or remarriage falls in a category this statement declares to be unbiblical. An expression of genuine repentance to God for the sin involved is all that is needed to settle the matter with the Lord. Even if a person is already a member of Crosspointe and finds himself or herself among a small minority that cannot affirm even the minimal expectations of this statement, they will not automatically come under discipline for that reason, because they joined the church during a time when these expectations were not made known to them. Our prayer is that all divorced and remarried brothers and sisters will gladly affirm this statement either because they believe their situation was Biblically legitimate, or because they now see that it was not, and are genuinely repentant as they look back. Part 2 Statement of Guidelines for Mutual Accountability Marriage is a human relationship ordained and instituted by God (Malachi 2:14-16). [6] His original design was one man and one woman united by covenant and sexual union for life (Genesis 2:23-4). The relationship was a mystery in that it set forth symbolically in physical form the relationship between himself and his people (Ephesians 5:21-33; Isaiah 54:5; Hosea 2:14-23; Ezekiel16; Jeremiah 3:20). Therefore God hates divorce for what it does to people and for what it does to the glory of his own covenant with the church. Nevertheless, because of the deceit and power of sin and because of the remnants of corruption in our own hearts, divorce still happens in the lives of some Christians. A mature and spiritual Christian may be forsaken by a disobedient or unbelieving spouse. Two professing believers may drift so far from the Lord that they no longer acknowledge in their hearts the authority of the Lord Jesus or the binding nature of their marriage covenant. The church, as a spiritual family with radical commitment to Christ and earnest love for each other, should be ready to minister forgiveness, healing, reproof, discipline, correction and restoration wherever appropriate to its members. General guidelines for our life together are found in the Covenant of Fellowship and the Church By-Laws. Specific guidelines are needed regarding divorce and remarriage and these are given below. The following guidelines should be read in the light and spirit of the preceding introductory pages. They should be read with the constant awareness that for many of us in the church they represent a minimum expectation for Christians. Even those 7

8 of us who affirm them as entirely Biblical can imagine a married couple, previously held back from a divorce by the conviction that it would be contrary to Scripture, now going ahead with it because they can see an "out" in one of the statements below. None of us wants these guidelines to encourage divorce or weaken the commitment God means for us to have to our marriage covenant. The Scriptural Guidelines 1. A believer and unbeliever should not marry (1 Cor. 7:39; 2 Cor. 6:14-15). 2. Since death breaks the marriage bond (Rom. 7:2-3; 1 Cor. 7:39), remarriage is permissible without sin for a believing widow or widower, if the marriage is with another believer. 3. Divorce may be permitted when an unbelieving spouse deserts the relationship or when a believing or unbelieving spouse commits adultery. (1 Cor. 7:15; Matthew 19:9; 1 Cor. 7:11). [7] We are not here dealing with remarriage (see #4). We simply acknowledge that there are times when the Bible permits separation. We want to stress that "divorce" in this statement should not imply a permanent end to the relationship while the spouses are alive and not remarried. Even after long periods of separation and alienation reconciliation can happen, as when the people of God return to the Lord after periods of waywardness (Hosea 2:14-23). We simply want to affirm that divorce in certain cases is permitted, and that this leaves the aggrieved spouse free to remarry (see #4). We all want to emphasize that the phrase may be permitted" holds out the possibility that inquiry may reveal that the deserted partner engaged in a wrong behavior that drove the other away, so that a change is called for at home rather than divorce. In addition we all want to stress that forgiveness and reconciliation between sinning spouses is preferable to separation or divorce even where adultery has occurred. This is implied in Matthew 18:21-22, "Then Peter came and said to Jesus, 'Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?" Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.'" (See Luke 17:3-4) Finally, we want to note that many churches include spousal abuse as grounds for divorce. We strongly condemn abuse and encourage the full use of church discipline, legal prosecution, physical separation and/or other remedies as might be available to protect the abused spouse and the family. However, we do not see scriptural text to support divorce or remarriage in that situation. We acknowledge this as a culturally difficult interpretation and one with which many other churches or believers may differ. 4. The remarriage or sexual unfaithfulness of the aggrieving, divorced spouse may be viewed as severing the former marriage so that the unmarried spouse whose behavior did not biblically justify being divorced, may be free to remarry a believer (Matthew 19:9), if he or she has confessed all known sin in the divorce. We believe that 1 Corinthians 7:15 ("If the unbelieving partner desires to separate, let it be so, in such a case the brother or sister is not bound ) gives freedom to a Christian to remarry if abandoned by an unbelieving spouse. We also believe that denying remarriage puts an unwarranted strain on the chastity of the divorced person who may not believe he or she has the gift of celibacy (1 Corinthians 7:7). But we all agree that serious efforts should be made at reconciliation, including the intervention of the church if necessary, before any aggrieved spouse is resigned to singleness or is free to remarry. Recognizing the honest and devout differences of conviction in the church, those of us with more limiting standards for remarriage consent at this point not to make them normative for the whole body. Others of us, who regard this fourth statement as fully Biblical, respect those among us with a more limiting interpretation and do not require or expect them to act in any way against their consciences in attending, supporting or performing enactments of marriage they regard as contrary to Scripture. 8

9 All of us urge every member who contemplates remarriage to struggle in prayer and study with all the relevant Scriptures, with the sole aim of glorifying God through full obedience to his word. Consider fairly the arguments against remarriage and those for it. Moreover, we want to affirm the goodness and beauty of a life of singleness in God's service both before marriage and after marriage. It is commended in 1 Corinthians 7:7,11,32-35 and elevated by the examples of Jesus and Paul and hundreds of great single saints. 5. The aggrieving partners referred to in #3 (who were guilty of abandonment, adultery or unbiblical divorce) should repent and be reconciled to God and to their spouses (1 Corinthians 7:11;1 John 1:9). If it is too late because their spouses have remarried, then the believing partner should remain single because they left their first marriage without Biblical warrant (Matthew 19:9; Luke 16:18; 1Corinthians 7:11). We acknowledge that this is a culturally difficult guideline and that many churches and believers may differ. However, we see this as most consistent with the biblical texts and instruction. As such, we seek to counsel accordingly so as to honor the Lord and not guide anyone into His displeasure. 6. The unbelieving, aggrieving partner referred to in #3 (who was guilty of unbiblical divorce) should repent, confess, and trust Jesus as their Lord and Savior (Romans 10:9-10). If they do so, they are a new creature in Christ (II Corinthians 5:17-19). They should be reconciled to their spouse. If it is too late because their spouse has remarried, the newly believing partner is free to marry another believer. 7. Men remarried after divorce will forego the position of elder at Crosspointe. We believe this is most consistent with the "must be above reproach" criteria of ITimothy 3:1-12. However, men and women who have remarried after divorce will be eligible to serve as deacons or other leadership roles if and when called (1Timothy 3:2,12). 8. The amount of time that has passed does not alter the application of the guidelines for divorce and remarriage. 9

10 Notes [1] For example, on the side of leniency toward remarriage there is Larry Richards, Remarriage: A Healing Gift from God (Waco: Word Books, 1981); and on the more rigorous side there is J. Carl Laney, The Divorce Myth (Minneapolis: Bethany House Publishers, 1981); and GeoffreyW. Bromiley, God and Marriage (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1980). [2] Found in Philip Schaff, Creeds of Christendom, vol. 3, (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1977), p [3] See William Lumpkin, ed. Baptist Confessions of Faith (Valley Forge: Judson Press, 1959), pp [4] The evidence for this is compiled in Heth and Wenham, Jesus and Divorce, pp The quote is taken from p. 22. Some of the writers in view are Hermas, Justin Martyr, Athenagoras, Theophilus of Antioch, lrenaeus, Clement of Alexandria, Origin, Tertullian, Basil of Caesarea, Gregory Nazianzsus, Theodore of Mopsuestia, John Chrysostom, Ambrose, Jerome, etc. The one exception was Ambrosiaster. [5] The summary of that study can be read in "DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE: A Position Paper" (July 21, 1986) in the Bethlehem church office files. Also Tom Schreiner, a church member and Sunday School teacher at Bethlehem, and a professor at Bethel Seminary came to the same conclusion independently. His study is entitled "DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE: BIBLICAL AND PASTORAL CONSIDERATIONS." [6] "The Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. Take heed then, to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. For I hate divorce" says the Lord, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the Lord of Hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously." [7] Note: Not all of us would want to use Matthew 19:9 as a support for this statement, since we believe the "exception clause" in this verse ("except for unchastity") refers to fornication not adultery, and is meant to exonerate those, like Joseph in Matthew 1:19, who break a betrothal because of unfaithfulness. Others of us believe it refers to adultery in marriage and is meant to exonerate those who divorce and remarry after a spouse has been impenitently unfaithful. 10