Disasters or traumas not only affect adults but also bring great stress to children, leading to all kings of reactions. Apart from handling their own reactions after a trauma, parents must also know how to help their children cope with the harm and grief brought about by such trauma. Appropriate guidance and assistance from adults will certainly help them towards recovery. This pamphlet covers the responses to trauma of children of various ages, with some suggestions which may facilitate their recovery. Post-trauma reactions Pre-schoolers : Eat too little/too much Get out of temper easily Are nervous, have anxiety Grave fear of disaster recurring Cannot sleep well (e.g. have nightmares, tend to wake up in fear) Have symptoms of regression (e.g. thumb-sucking, fingernail-biting) Have fear of being separated with family Have fear of darkness, fear of being alone Cry easily Have incontinence Have fear of strangers Become overly quiet/hyperactive Re-enact the incident while playing School age children: Have memory problems Exhibit absent-mindedness, loss of concentration Have fear, depression Have self-reproach, guilt Have impaired learning ability, drop in performance Are unwilling or afraid to go to school Show excessive concern for family safety Have physical discomfort e.g. headache, stomachache, vomiting 1
Have poor sleep e.g. nightmares Have regressive symptoms (e.g. wants to be fed, dressed by others) Become aggressive/violent, fight with others Exhibit withdrawal, isolation Compete with siblings for attention Are overreliant Adolescence Have memory problems Find it hard to concentrate Have confusion in thinking Abuse of drugs, alcohol Have physical problems (e.g. headache, abdominal pains) Exhibit loss of appetite / overeating Have depression, anxiety Have depression, anxiety Have shame, guilt Exhibit a drop in school performance Exhibit withdrawal and isolation Act rashly Become trouble making Become accident-prone Have regressive symptoms (e.g. responsibility-shy, childish) Exhibit changes in character and behaviour (e.g. premature dropping out, pregnancy, marriage) Ways to help recovery Pre-schoolers: Resume daily routines and usual activities, such as schooling and playing, as soon as possible. Get close to the children, such as holding or kissing them, so that they feel the care and support form adults. As the children s capability of speech is limited, adults should help them express their feelings (e.g. fear, sorrow and doubt). Encourage expressions in different ways, such as drawing, playing, and storytelling. Accept their feelings and show your care. Do not blame or laugh at them for their unusual or regressive behaviour. Try to understand 2
the underlying causes and give them guidance and encouragement for gradual changes. Encourage the children to tell their parents about the problems they are having, e.g. nightmares, gear of darkness. Tell them they are safe now. Let them feel secure. For example, assure them their parents are able to protect them, and let them know the whereabouts of their parents or those who look after them. Spend more time playing with them. This will help relieve their negative sentiments. School age children: Help them express their feelings and their views of the incident. Clarity any misconception or doubt. Spend more time talking to them. Listen patiently. Understand their worries and fears. Let them understand that their reactions and feelings are normal, and that many people going through similar incidents will have these reactions. Teach them how to identify danger signals and cope with difficulties, such as seeking help and contacting their family. Let them understand that it was not their fault that the disaster happened and that they need not feel guilty and need not blame themselves. When they have problems at school or in the family, talk to their teachers so that you can work together in helping them. Encourage them to do something for the victims, such as offering them blessings, condolences or donations. Accompany them in playing; encourage them to do exercises especially large muscle activities (e.g. ball games, cycling). This facilitates relaxation and relief. The whole family should stay together as much as possible. If the children have to stay with a relative, explain to them beforehand to avoid misunderstandings and anxiety. Keep in contact and arrange for them to go home early if possible. Adolescence: Encourage your children to describe their experiences. Listen carefully to their feelings and views. Communicate affectionately 3
and understandingly as far as possible. Avoid being judgement or lecturing. Provide them with information about the incident so that they may understand what had happened to avoid guesses and misconceptions. Share with them your feelings. Let them understand that people s reactions may often be different. They need not worry too much about their own reactions. Usually they will return to normal after sometime. Encourage them to do appropriate exercises, to keep a balanced diet, to have enough sleep, to continue daily leisure activities, to keep in contact with peers, and not to isolate themselves. Let them participate in rebuilding the community or helping other people affected by the disaster, such as little children or the elderly. Let them ventilate their feelings through positive channels. Discuss ways of tackling difficulties and learn to recognize danger signals and effective ways of handling the situation with your children. This will alleviate the sense of helplessness. Note behavioural and emotional changes in them. Take the initiative to grasp the underlying cause. Show your support and care, but be careful not to become fussy. Encourage them to postpone important decisions to allow for enough time to assuage reactions and grief and avoid mistakes. If you children show too many changes in behaviour or character, contact their teachers and the counsellor as soon as possible to discuss ways to help them. Alarm signals Usually, emotional responses in children will not last too long. But parents should also be alert to the following signals: Frequently re-enacting the incident when playing, frequent nightmares, becoming easily aroused in similar situations; Sleep disturbances, irritability, becoming easily frightened, lack of concentration, regressive symptoms, forgetting part of the trauma experience; Deliberately avoiding things related to the incident, showing no response to things, loss of interest. 4
If these symptoms and the various kinds of reaction mentioned above persist for more than a month and are affecting the daily routines of the children, professional advice (from a clinical psychologist, doctor, counsellor, etc.) should be sought as soon as possible. A trauma can impact on family relationships. The couple s relationship may be put to the test. It is easy to overlook a partner s feelings when both are disturbed and having various kinds of emotional reaction. At a time such as this, conflicts often come to the forefront, straining the couple s relationship, and may even lead to the idea of separating. Apart from looking after the needs of the children, the couple also needs support and toleration from each other and to be aware of and careful in handling their own emotional responses. Only in this way can we help our children go through these difficult times. Civil Disaster Management Committee (Clinical Psychology Services) Adapted from 天 有 不 測 之 風 孩 子 的 世 界, by Dr. Lo Suk Yee, Sr. Clinical Psychologist Ms. Jeanie Ngan, Clinical Psychology Enquiries 2958 7184 5