Essential Standard 9.ICR.1 Understand healthy and effective interpersonal communication and relationships. Clarifying Objective 9.ICR.1.4 Summarize principles of healthy dating. Materials Needed: Internet Blabberize http://blabberize.com/view/id/632866 Prezi Healthy Dating, www.prezi.com/fhbpq3frv- e- /healthy- dating/ Appendix 1 Grab Bag, Healthy and Unhealthy Qualities Colored paper, markers, arts and craft materials www.glogster.com Review: Before beginning the lesson plan, show students communication video clip made from the link http://blabberize.com/view/id/632866 After the students view the video have them explain what occurred in the video and summarize good communication skills. Explain to students that communication skills are also important in dating and students need to use effective communication to convey expectations to their dating partners. If you do not have Internet or access to Blabberize you may use a student volunteer to help you. Have the student come up front and ask you something like, Hey, do you want to hang out after school? I d love spend some time catching up. When the student asks, you will play a role of a poor listener and be uninterested in the person talking to you. You may have your phone out, not make eye contact, and have a delayed and short answer. This type of visual will introduce poor communication in friendships and relationships and open the review of good communication skills. Then, ask the class, What are the 3 parts of good communication? 1. Self- Disclosure (Being open and sharing ones thoughts and feelings) 2. Listening (Respect, genuine, nonjudgmental, not critical, warmth, empathy) 3. Feedback (Positive and appropriate response. Self- disclosing in response.) 9.ICR.1.4, page 1
65% of communication is non- verbal! What does that mean? It includes actions, gestures, facial expressions, body language: all of which convey a message. Statement of objectives: So far in this unit we have been discussing relationships. Today we are going to discuss qualities of healthy dating relationships. By the end of the lesson, you will be able to describe a healthy relationship and recognize behaviors that may be considered unhealthy. Also, you will understand the definition of dating violence. Focus: Have the girl and boy students separate for a fishbowl activity The girls will be together in the center and have the boys circle around them. The girls will answer various open- ended questions on relationships and the boys should be active listeners. After the questions have the boys and girls switch roles. This activity is to see how boys and girls may have different perspectives in dating as well as demonstrate listening and communicating skills needed for dating. Ask the following questions for the activity: o Who should initiate a date? o Why is communication important? o What is a quality you desire to have in your dating relationship? o What behaviors on a date might make you feel uncomfortable? Process the activity by asking students if they were surprised by any of the answers that they heard. Explain that effective communication about relationships and dating can help students avoid unpleasant experiences. Read the following story from an anonymous female to the class. Be sure to tell the students that although this story is written by a female about her male abusive partner, unhealthy relationships can happen to boys, girls, and within opposite and same sex relationships. It started off like most relationships do. He was nice, good looking, and seemed interested in a lot of the things I was. Everything was going great for awhile until he started getting overly concerned with where I was going and who I was spending time with. I didn t mind so much at first because I figured that he must really love me to be so worried about me all the time. But then, he began criticizing my clothes, telling me that I was dressing too sexy and accused me of flirting with other guys. He started getting 9.ICR.1.4, page 2
jealous any time I wanted to go out with friends, and he even accused me of cheating. We were arguing all the time and I began feeling like I couldn t do any thing right and that I wasn t good enough. Sometimes he would get so mad that I worried he might hit me. Luckily, he never did. The interesting thing is that I thought that abuse just meant violence. I learned later that abuse could mean a lot of things. Process the story together and allow the student to free write thoughts on the story for five minutes. Ask questions such as: o Can abusive relationships happen in teen relationships? o What was unhealthy about this relationship? o What did the author stay in the relationship? Option 3 Ask the class, In your opinion, is it better or easier to be a male or to be female? Allow the class to brainstorm their thoughts and opinions for a few minutes by creating a pros and cons chart of being male or female. If a student does not have a strong opinion tell he or she to write a pros and cons chart for their gender. This discussion/debate will open up the different views and perspectives from males and females. It will also provide as an icebreaker to get the students talking and comfortable. You may want to use something like a talking stick so that students must have the talking stick to talk and the rest of the class must listen to what they have to say. Teacher Input: Process new information on healthy dating and unhealthy dating relationships by going through the Healthy Dating Prezi created for this lesson. Explain to the students that dating can be a rewarding and fun experience. In order to get the most out of dating experiences, students need to use effective communication to convey expectations to their dating partners. Also, students should know their own desires and qualities they would like in a relationship and qualities that make a relationship healthy. It is important to understand that there are healthy qualities in a relationship and unhealthy qualities in a relationship. First, we will discuss qualities that are good for a relationship. An important quality in a dating relationship is that, when in the relationship personal self- esteem and self worth is heightened. One should never feel less due to a relationship. Communication is also important and healthy when both sides share their feelings, listen, respect each other, and never use physical or emotional abuse when communicating. Honesty and openness are qualities that are important and in your relationship you should be able to 9.ICR.1.4, page 3
fully be yourself. Respect for you and your dating partner is another healthy quality. In a healthy dating relationship each person should value the other and show genuine care. Ask the class what other types of qualities are in a healthy dating relationship. After they share a few ideas continue to discuss the list of healthy dating qualities listed on the Prezi. It is important to also understand unhealthy dating relationships. Dating violence is defined as a threat or act of violence against one member of a dating relationship by the other member of the dating relationship. This includes acts of sexual violence, physical abuse, as well as verbal and/or emotional abuse. When most people think about dating or domestic violence they think about adult victims. However this issue does affect teenagers also. (Examples: lying, making all the decisions, telling you what to wear or not wear/do or not do, pressure to have sex, drink or take drugs, loses temper often, not show respect, blames you, prevents you from spending time with other friends or family, pushed/grabbed you in a way that hurts, having to feel afraid.) Dating violence affects teens, both genders, and all ethnic groups. The negative effects of a violent or demeaning dating relationship can lower self- esteem, become involved with alcohol or drugs, as well as engage in risky sexual behaviors. Ask the students, Why might someone who is in an unhealthy dating relationship stay in that relationship? After the students discuss, explain reasons such as: a teenager might stay in an abusive relationship because they may confuse jealousy and possessiveness with love. May think that the attention is better than no attention at all. May be afraid the abuser will hurt them more if they want to leave. Someone may simply not know what an unhealthy relationship is and that this is not how they should be treated. Ask the students, Where can someone who is in an abusive relationship seek help? [Teachers, parents, guidance counselors, coach, family, community, local domestic violence agency someone you trust and can discuss your situation with] Conflict in a relationship is ok. Violence is never ok. Relationships can be a great experience but it is very important to first realize that there are some behaviors that are not normal in a healthy relationship and that they should seek healthy relationships. Guided Practice: Explain to the class that you have a few video clips from movies and TV shows. Together as a class we are going to analyze the video clip and the relationship that is shown. 9.ICR.1.4, page 4
Play the video clips that are embedded in the Healthy Dating Prezi. As the students watch the videos, guide them as they analyze the video and are able to point out qualities that are healthy or unhealthy and how communication was used well or poorly. This activity will help students actually see these healthy or unhealthy qualities in an actual relationship and reveal if the students understand the principals of healthy dating. Do a review of healthy and unhealthy qualities with the class by using Appendix 1. Cut out each term on Appendix 1 and place them into a grab bag of some sort. Walk around the room at random and have a student draw a piece of paper out of the grab bag. Have the student read the word or phrase out loud to the class and state if it is a healthy or unhealthy quality for a relationship. Independent Practice: Tell the students they are going to create an ad/poster describing the kind of person and the type of relationship they desire. The students can be as creative as they want. The ad should include: qualities they desire and do not desire, hobbies, interests, etc. The students can use the poster creating website: www.glogster.com to create a poster online or use art supplies and paper provided. Show an example of the Glogster relationship poster created using the website. The goal of this activity is to be creative and utilize the skills and knowledge from this lesson. Have the students create a Make it OR Break it T- chart on a piece of paper. On the Make It side of the T- chart the students will listen qualities they desire in a relationship, qualities that would make it. On the Break It side of the T- chart the students will list qualities that they would not want in a relationship. Encourage the students to use some of the qualities discussed today but they can also put in some more personal qualities. (For example, likes sports, likes children, loves to cook, gets along with my family, etc.) Closure: Today we discussed healthy relationships. You are now able to describe healthy relationships, recognize behaviors that may be considered unhealthy, and describe principals necessary to formulate healthy relationships. 9.ICR.1.4, page 5
GRAB BAG Healthy and Unhealthy Qualities Healthy Self-Disclosure Uses criticism Unhealthy Shares similar values Dissimilar values Compromises Raises self-esteem and self worth Genuine Care Shares joys and troubles/hardships Positive feedback when listening Allows you to be yourself Wants to spend every minute together Seeks control Jealousy issues/possessive Lacks openness Violent in arguments Makes one feel less Companionship Competitive Commitment Fear in relationship 9.ICR.1.4, Appendix 1