How to Use the RAISE Extended Response Planner and Organizer Directions: 1. It s important to know when to write a RAISE Extended Response. If the question asks only for details or known facts, use the RAISE Constructed Response Model which is one paragraph. For example, What were the three causes for World War II? If this same question was changed to, What was the main cause of World War II, and how did it lead to war? then a RAISE Extended Response is needed. In fact, any question that asks, Why? Please explain your answer. Describe the importance of What are the similarities or differences between? are questions that usually require the use of a RAISE Extended Response. 2. For the causes of World War II question, reread all the information available and look for specific facts or details that can be used to create then support, an answer. Be sure to understand how they the support answer. It s a good habit to quote the actual language or wording found to support the answer and then credit the author. For example, The imperial designs of Japan, fascist Italy, and Nazi Germany in the 1930s culminated in the outbreak of World War II (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary). Here, the website is the author. Remember the ideas of others have to be noted. Using someone s words or thoughts as your own is plagiarism, which makes your essay wrong, invalid, and in some cases, illegal. You can also paraphrase, which means you rewrite the actual language into your own words. For example, The Merriam-Webster Dictionary states that the policies of imperialism in Japan, Italy and Nazi Germany imperialism were the cause of WW2. Notice how Merriam-Webster is listed as the authority, or author, of this sentence. 3. Notice that accurate supporting details or facts fall into subtopics that are naturally linked. In this case, imperialism connects Japan, Italy and Nazi Germany together. If the supporting details (subtopics) can t be linked, then they won t support the answer. When they are linked, it s easy to move (transition) from one paragraph to another. 4. Use the planner to begin, then transfer the information into the organizer. Overtime, the habit of how to plan and organize an extended response will come naturally. In fact, you could skip the organizer and go directly to a first draft if you remember that each section of the planner is its own paragraph. Also, how long would your extended response be if you needed 4, 5 or 6 facts to support your answer? 1
RAISE Extended Response Planner and Organizer 1. Restate/rewrite/rephrase the question and include your answer. Briefly explain why yours is accurate or correct. (Subtopics): (One paragraph.) Fact, professional or expert opinion: 2. Add the first fact or detail, and explain why it supports your answer -- also include where it was found (book, magazine, website). (One paragraph.) Where it was found (What document and page? What website and date?): Why it supports your answer (What s its importance or relationship to your answer?): 3. Add the second (one paragraph) Fact: Where? Why? 4. Add the third (one paragraph) Fact: Where? Why? 5. Extend and End -- How do the facts best support your answer? Begin by reminding the reader of the question then explain how the facts above demonstrate a correct (One paragraph.) 2
answer. (Rewrite # 1 then finish.) Use this Organizer to Write a First Draft 1.Rewrite the question then explain what you believe the answer to be and why you believe it s correct -- use the box below to copy #1 from planner. 2. Build the middle paragraphs. Put planner steps 2, 3 and 4, in a separate box below.. Middle Paragraphs continued on next page. 3
Middle Paragraphs continued here. 4
3. Extend and End. Explain how all these examples and what they show or prove completely support your answer. Add step 5 from planner in the box below. 4. Before starting a final draft --Reread your work. Did you correctly copy the information from the RAISE Planner onto the First Draft Organizer? Do your examples support your answer? Do you have obvious spelling errors that need to be corrected? Did you explain your answer well enough so that anyone could read and understand what you mean? Is your paper neatly done (no cross outs, smudges, or wrinkled paper)? Do you follow the margin lines and not write to the side or bottom edges of the paper? 5
RAISE Extended Response Planner and Organizer (SAMPLE ANSWER) 1. Restate/rewrite/rephrase the question and include your answer. Briefly explain why yours is accurate or correct. (Subtopics): 2. Add the first fact or detail, and explain why it supports your answer -- also include where it was found (book, magazine, website). The main cause of World War II was imperialism, which is when one country wants to take over and control another. Italy, Nazi Germany and Japan joined together so they could become one superpower that no one country could stop. The world economy was weak and other countries couldn t build up their armies. They also wanted revenge against the those who that had defeated them in World War I. Italy, Nazi Germany and Japan then invaded other countries which led to World War II. Fact, professional or expert opinion: Japan suffered through an economic crisis during the Great Depression that allowed its military to come to power. The military then invaded China to gain wealth and expand its influence in Asia. Where it was found (What document and page? What website and date?): www.history.com; 9/2012 Why it supports your answer (What s its importance or relationship to your answer?): The rise to power of the military in Japan led to a partnership with Italy and Nazi Germany. Together they were confident they could take over other nations. 3. Add the second. Fact: Nazi Germany, led by Adolph Hitler, used imperialism to seek revenge upon the countries that had defeated Germany during World War I. Where? Why? www.english-online.org Nazi Germany had spent a lot of money improving its army which made it stronger than many countries around it 4. Add the third. Fact: Where? Why? Mussolini, the leader of Italy, wanted to expand into Ethiopia for its land and resources. He also told the Italian people that he could make Italy an empire in the region like it had been centuries before under the Romans. http://ibhistoryhlwiki.wikispaces.com Italy shares the same goals as Japan and Nazi Germany in that it wants to expand its influence in the world. 5. Extend and End -- How do the facts best support your answer? Begin by reminding the reader of the question then explain how the facts above demonstrate a correct answer. (Rewrite # 1 then finish.) The policy of imperialism practiced by Italy, Nazi Germany and Japan was the main cause of WW2. Since they all wanted to expand their influence in the world, seek revenge against those who defeated them in WW1 and restore national pride, they combined to be a powerful force that attacked others, forcing other nations to join together to stop them. 6
Use this Organizer to Write a First Draft 1.Rewrite the question then explain what you believe the answer to be and why you believe it s correct -- use the box below to copy #1 from planner. m The main cause of World War II was imperialism, which is when one country wants to take over and control another. Italy, Nazi Germany and Japan joined together so they could become one superpower that no one country could stop. They also wanted revenge against those who had defeated them in World War I. They were successful because many of the countries around them were struggling financially due to a world-wide economic depression, and they weren t able to spend enough money on their armies so they could defend themselves. Italy, Nazi Germany and Japan then invaded other countries which led to World War II. 2. Build the middle paragraphs. Put planner steps 2, 3 and 4, in a separate box below. Japan suffered through an economic crisis during the Great Depression that allowed its military to come to power. The military then invaded China to gain wealth and expand its influence in Asia. Japan invaded China, then attacked the United States naval base at Pearl Harbor (www.history.com; 9/2012) and joined with Nazi Germany and Japan to form the Axis power. Middle Paragraphs continued on next page. 7
Middle Paragraphs continued here. Nazi Germany, led by Adolph Hitler, used imperialism to seek revenge upon the countries that had defeated Germany during World War I and to unite all German speaking people (www.english-online.org 9/2012) into one country. After losing World War I, Germany was forced to pay to rebuild the countries they had attacked during World War 1 which made them poor. Germany then chose to spend most of its money improving its army which made it stronger and they then invaded Poland. Mussolini, the leader of Italy, wanted to expand into Ethiopia for its land and resources. He also told the Italian people that he could make Italy an empire in the region like it had been centuries before under the Romans (http://ibhistoryhlwiki.wikispaces.com 9/2012). Italy shared the same goals as Japan and Nazi Germany in that it wanted to expand its influence in the world, gain wealth and restore their national pride. 8
3. Extend and End. Explain how all these examples and what they show or prove completely support your answer. Add step 5 from planner in the box below. m The main cause of World War II was imperialism, which is when one country wants to take over and control another. Italy, Nazi Germany and Japan joined together so they could become one superpower, the Axis Powers, that no one country could stop. The world economy was weak and other countries couldn t build up their armies. The Axis Powers also wanted to get revenge against those who had defeated them in World War I. The policy of imperialism practiced by Italy, Nazi Germany and Japan was the main cause of WW2. The United States joined with Britain, Russia and France to defeated the Axis Powers and end World War 2. 4. Before starting a final draft -- Reread your work. Did you correctly copy the information from the RAISE Planner onto the First Draft Organizer? Do your examples support your answer? Do you have obvious spelling errors that need to be corrected? Did you explain your answer well enough so that anyone could read and understand what you mean? Is your paper neatly done (no cross outs, smudges, or wrinkled paper)? Do you follow the margin lines and not write to the side or bottom edges of the paper? 9
Finished Extended Response The main cause of World War II was imperialism, which is when one country wants to take over and control another. Italy, Nazi Germany and Japan joined together so they could become one superpower that no one country could stop. They also wanted revenge against those who had defeated them in World War I. They were successful because many of the countries around them were struggling financially because of a world-wide economic depression, and they weren t able to spend enough money on their armies so they could defend themselves. Italy, Nazi Germany and Japan then invaded other countries which led to World War II. Japan suffered through an economic crisis during the Great Depression that allowed its military to come to power. The military then invaded China to gain wealth and expand its influence in Asia. Japan invaded China, then attacked the United States naval base at Pearl Harbor (www.history.com; 9/2012) and joined with Nazi Germany and Japan to form the Axis power. Nazi Germany, led by Adolph Hitler, used imperialism to seek revenge upon the countries that had defeated Germany during World War I and to unite all German speaking people (www.english-online.org 9/2012) into one country. After losing World War I, Germany was forced to pay to rebuild the countries they had attacked during World War I which made them poor. Germany then chose to spend most its money improving its army which made it stronger and they then invaded Poland. Mussolini, the leader of Italy, wanted to expand into Ethiopia for its land and resources. He also told the Italian people that he could make Italy an empire in the region like it had been centuries before under the Romans (http://ibhistoryhlwiki.wikispaces.com 9/2012). Italy shared the same goals as Japan and Nazi Germany in that it wanted to expand its influence in the world, gain wealth and restore their national pride. The main cause of World War II was imperialism, which is when one country wants to take over and control another. Italy, Nazi Germany and Japan joined together so they could become one superpower, the Axis Powers, that no one country could stop. The world economy was weak and other countries couldn t build up their armies. The Axis Powers also wanted revenge against those who had defeated them in World War I. The United States joined with Great Britain, Russia and France to defeat the Axis Powers to end the war. 10
BMS RAISE Extended Response Rubric for Student Use [CCSS] Category Exceptional (5) Exceeds Standard (4) Proficient (3) Needs Revision Topic Statement (rewrites question w / right answer based upon complete understanding of what was read or discussed.) Middle Paragraphs (subtopics / supporting details) Extend and End (persuasion) Spelling, Grammar, Mechanics (knowledge of conventions) Answer to question is right; writer makes readers understand why the answer is important (audience). All middle paragraphs (subtopics) correctly follow each other so as to make sense; they have correct and important supporting details and / or facts which are quoted from text and cited in essay. End of essay makes sense. It correctly reminds reader of answer to question. It makes them think or feel that the answer is important (voice). Contains no obvious errors in spelling or grammar; all paragraphs use transition words to let reader easily follow writer s ideas; all facts are important and, when needed, have quotation marks correctly used and properly labeled (citations). Answer to question is right; writer tries to make readers understand why the answer is important (audience). All middle paragraphs (subtopics) correctly follow each other so as to make sense; they have correct and important supporting details and / or facts which are quoted from text. End of essay makes sense. It correctly reminds reader of answer to question. Writer tries to make readers think or feel that the answer is important (voice). Contains 2 or 3 minor errors in spelling or grammar; all paragraphs use transition words to let reader easily follow writer s ideas; all facts are important and, when needed, have quotation marks correctly used. Answer to question is right. All middle paragraphs (subtopics) correctly follow each other so as to make sense; they have correct and important supporting details and / or facts. End of essay makes sense. It correctly reminds readers of answer to question. Contains 4 or 5 minor errors in spelling or grammar; all paragraphs use transition words to let reader easily follow writer s ideas; all facts are important and, when needed, have quotation marks correctly used. Answer is hard to understand or wrong. Middle paragraphs (subtopics) are not in logical order, and some have supporting details or facts that may not be right. End of essay isn t right. It doesn t remind or convince -- readers of answer to question. Contains 6 or more errors in spelling or grammar; not all paragraphs use transition words to let reader easily follow writer s ideas; not all facts are important and, when needed, don t have quotation marks used correctly. Explanation of Categories: Exceptional work was above grade level; Exceeds in some cases, work was above grade level; Proficient met the grade level requirement for understanding and quality; Needs Revision a score in this category needs to be redone before a final grade is assigned. Process (effort) Student effort demonstrated care and concern for quality of product. Student effort demonstrated concern for quality of product. Student effort was consistent. Student effort was inconsistent. 6/30/15 11