The GOSPEL According to the Old Testament David and Jonathan: The Friend You ve Always Wanted (1 Samuel 18-20) July 17, 2011 by Kevin Haah I. Introduction We re in the middle of a series called The Gospel According to Old Testament and recently, we ve been looking at the story of David. And today s sermon is entitled, The Friend You ve Always Wanted. It s about the friendship between David and Jonathan. We don t have time to cover the entire story of their friendship; so, we ll be skipping around as we read. This is what happens after the David slay Goliath. Let s go to 1 Samuel 18:1 1 After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. 2 From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his father s house. 3 And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. 4 Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt. We ll look at the significance of Jonathan taking off his robe and giving it David, and giving his sword and belt to David a little bit later today. For now, David and Jonathan become closest of friends. You have to remember that Saul is still the king and Jonathan is Saul s son, the heir apparent to the throne. And you also have to remember that God had rejected Saul as the king and God had his prophet Samuel anoint David as the king while Saul is still the king. It is in this context, that David and Jonathan became friends. These are two guys who easily could have killed each other for the throne, but they became friends. Now, David became one of Saul s officers. Wherever Saul sent David, he was successful. He was so successful that people started to look to David as more courageous than Saul. They sang about David s heroic pursuits. Then, Saul felt into a pit of envy against David. He tried to send David to a mission where Saul thought he might get 1
killed, but that didn t work. As David became more and more successful, he became more and more afraid of David. Let s catch the story in Chapter 19:1 1 Saul told his son Jonathan and all the attendants to kill David. But Jonathan was very fond of David 2 and warned him, My father Saul is looking for a chance to kill you. Be on your guard tomorrow morning; go into hiding and stay there. 3 I will go out and stand with my father in the field where you are. I ll speak to him about you and will tell you what I find out. 4 Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father and said to him, Let not the king do wrong to his servant David; he has not wronged you, and what he has done has benefited you greatly. 5 He took his life in his hands when he killed the Philistine. The LORD won a great victory for all Israel, and you saw it and were glad. Why then would you do wrong to an innocent man like David by killing him for no reason? 6 Saul listened to Jonathan and took this oath: As surely as the LORD lives, David will not be put to death. 7 So Jonathan called David and told him the whole conversation. He brought him to Saul, and David was with Saul as before. Jonathan was David s defender and friend. He got his father to listen to him and stop trying to kill him. Yet, in the next few verses, Saul is back trying to kill David while David is living in the house of Saul. It seems that Saul is suffering from some kind of demonic possession. He keeps on going back and forth. Then, he is pretty much all out trying to kill David and David flees, and Saul and his men pursue David. Because David has been anointed by Samuel as the king, and because David is praised by the people as a hero, Saul wants to kill David to protect his kingly line. But, Jonathan doesn t think his father really wants to kill David. Jonathan is really loyal guy. But, things become very clear in Chapter 20:30-42: 30 Saul s anger flared up at Jonathan and he said to him, You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don t I know that you have sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of the mother who bore you? 31 As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established. Now send and bring him to me, for he must die! 2
32 Why should he be put to death? What has he done? Jonathan asked his father. 33 But Saul hurled his spear at him to kill him. Then Jonathan knew that his father intended to kill David. 34 Jonathan got up from the table in fierce anger; on that second day of the month he did not eat, because he was grieved at his father s shameful treatment of David. 35 In the morning Jonathan went out to the field for his meeting with David. (Skipping down to verse 41) 41 After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together but David wept the most. 42 Jonathan said to David, Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever. Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town. This is the last time they see each other. It s a beautiful story of friendship. This passage teaches us about (1) the importance of friendship, (2) what real friendship looks like, (3) and where we get the power to be a friend like this. II. The importance of friendship When David was literally dealing with living with a homicidal maniac intent on killing him, his friendship with Jonathan was what sustained him. The whole story starts out with the story of David and Jonathan s friendship and the whole story ends with David and Jonathan weeping and saying goodbye to each other. Eugene Peterson, a commentator, notes that the friendship literally bracketed the evil of Saul. The friendship with Jonathan is what contained the evil and suffering, what made it bearable. He never would have survived without a friendship with Jonathan. You and I may not have murder attempts against us by a homicidal manic, but there are enough suffering and evil in the world that we will never make it without friendships. We ll never make it without friends. Did you know that people who have friends are healthier than people who live in isolation? Even in marriage, it is the friendship in the marriage that takes us through. One of the things I most appreciate 3
about my relationship with Grace is our friendship. She s my best friend. When I was going through a tough time a few weeks ago, I think the fact that I was able to just talk and process things with Grace made everything bearable. Why is friendship so important? Because we were designed for it. If you look at the Genesis account of creation, you see God saying, it is good, it is good. He creates something, and says, it is good, over and over again. But, in Genesis 2:18, for the first time, he says, It is not good for the man to be alone. Adam was in a need of a loving relationship with another human being. He was in paradise. This was before the Fall, before sin entered the picture. Yet, he needed someone other than God. Is this a mistake in design? Did God make a mistake? No. God made us to need something beside himself. It s amazing that God created us to need a deep relationship with other human beings. This is not design flaw. This is because we are created in the image of God, and God lives in the community of the Trinity. God said, Let US make man in our image. He is a Triune God. Friendship is at the center of the Triune community of God. Before there is anything, there was an eternal friendship between divine persons. They loved and enjoyed one another for eternity. We need others because we are made in the image of God. So, we will never be able to truly live our lives without friends. You can t escape your design. Do you feel this need in your heart for a loving relationship with a friend? Sometimes, people take this as a sign of weakness that of needing other people. It is sign that you are created in the image of God. It is a sign of not imperfection but of your perfection. Do we realize the importance of friendship? Then, why is it we are constantly neglecting our friends and relationships for the sack of other priorities like success? III. Now, what does real friendship look like? A. A friendship is a covenant relationship. 1 Samuel 18:3 says Jonathan made a covenant with David. What does that mean? It means a friendship is not like a consumer relationship. In the norm in the business world is a consumer oriented relationship; you continue a relationship with a vendor as long as the vendor meets your needs at an acceptable cost to you. If a better vendor comes around at a better cost or product, you switch to the new vendor. But, a 4
covenantal relationship is different. There is a sense of loyalty and commitment even when circumstances change, even if it costs you more. In consumer relationship, your individual needs are paramount. In covenant relationship, individual comes second. The relationship and the others come first. We always have had these two kinds of relationships. In most cultures, the consumer-vendor relationship was confined to the literal business world and other relationships were covenantal there was a commitment. But, now, everyone agrees that something absolutely remarkable has happened. The model of the user relationship has become the basis for conducting all relationships. All relationship is done on a cost benefit analysis, on consumer relationships. Everyone is asking what is this relationship going to cost me? What am I going to get out of this relationship? But, consumers are not friends. We still need friends, committed friends because of our design. Users aren t friends, they network. Network is not wrong but they are not friends. Users categorize you. Race, status, education, social economics, looks, abilities. Why? So that they can treat you in a way to get the response they need from you. But, a friend doesn t size you up but wants to find out what is unique about you your strength and gifts and celebrates them. When he or she finds weaknesses, he or she gently corrects you. Even when it would cost Jonathan the trust of his father, lose his kingship, and ultimately even his life, Jonathan was a friend. b. Friends let you in to share your inner life. Look at this story. These guys are warriors. They kill people in war. Yet, these men are weeping and kissing. They are emotionally open to one another. Men, listen. The Bible is full of men who cry with one another. Even Jesus, when he was crying out to God in the Garden of Gethsemane, he kept on coming back to his disciples, asking them to pray with him. Our Lord, the perfect human being, sought after friends when he was at his darkest hour. He wanted to share his heart with them. He wanted to weep with them. I don t think friendship develops by coming together TO weep and share. I think friendship develops when two people face life together, they travel together, they go on 5
mission together, they go to war together, they struggle together, and as they do so, they share their emotions, weaknesses, and cry together. c. Friends hang out together. They do normal things together. They do mundane things together. Eugene Peterson says: friendship takes the common and takes it to something holy. It s not about doing great things together; it s just about doing mundane things together, walking together, having long conversations over coffee, struggling together, even disagreeing, iron sharpening iron (the Bible says that s what friendship is like), and walking into an arena of the sacredness of God s Triune community. When you do friendship like this, you build up trust. You build up credibility with each other, and you are able to speak into each other lives and even confront sins. I think this is so important because we are so blinded by sins and we fail to see our weaknesses. We are able to give each other licenses to correct each other. I know some of us are getting depressed by the minutes during this sermon because you are thinking, I don t have a friend like that. I wish I had a friend like that. I think we can t just go out there and wish someone was a like Jonathan to us. We have to take the first step and become a friend like Jonathan. Jonathan was a life transforming friend to David. David was saved, protected, and later became king all because of Jonathan. Jonathan took off his robe. This means he gave up his right to the throne. And he took off his sword. When you give someone your sword, you are saying, I will serve you to the death. That s what happened to Jonathan. Because Jonathan was a covenantal person, not a consumer, he loved David, and gave himself up for David. He was an amazing friend. V. So, where do you get the power to be a friend like this? Like Jonathan? We have the power to become like Jonathan. In John 15:9-15, Jesus said this to his disciples: 9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you 6
and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. Jesus said, I have called you friend greater love to lay down his life for his friend. The Lord himself came to the world as an ultimate friend. He took off his robe, sword, lost his divine kingship. And Jesus is pleading with his disciples to REMAIN IN HIS LOVE. He wants us to soak in his love. He wants us to know how much we love him. Why? This love of God in our heart, the love of Jonathan, and in greater measure, the love of God in Jesus Christ, is the love that he demonstrates to us. He wants us to experience that love. He wants us to experience the great friendship of Jesus to us. When we are soaked in the friendship that is in Jesus, when we can sing: what a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear. When we experience that Jonathan kind of friendship, covenant friendship from Jesus, unchanging love from him, self-sacrificial loyal friendship from Jesus, we remain in his love. And when we do that, we are able to be that kind of friend to others. And when we are able to that kind of friends, we will see that it is contagious. We will end up friends all around us. As we help others like Jonathan, like Jesus, we ended finding friends to share our lives with, to walk with, to find something holy in the mundane with. 7