At the wedding feast at Cana, Mary tells Jesus there is no more wine. WEDDING PLANNING GUIDELINES DIOCESE OF DES MOINES 1997

At the wedding feast at Cana, Mary tells Jesus there is no more wine. WEDDING PLANNING GUIDELINES DIOCESE OF DES MOINES 1997

MUSIC: Preludes: NOTES Processional: Gathering Hymn: Glory to God: Gospel Acclamation: Music at the Presentation of Gifts: Holy Acclamation: Memorial Acclamation: Great Amen: Lamb of God: Communion: Recessional: CATHOLIC WEDDINGS You are considering a lifetime of marriage. What a wonderful time in your life! Marriage is a lasting commitment that you make to each other freely. The gift of your whole self to the other calls for fidelity, a life-long commitment, and enables you to have and nurture children in an atmosphere of love. This is what the Church means when it calls marriage a covenant. In a contract, you give part. In a covenant you give everything. A married couple becomes a sign of how much God loves us, a sacrament of this total love. How well you live this call to be a sacrament is a loving challenge to both of you. This is also the challenge in planning your wedding in the Catholic Church. A wedding ceremony expresses your desire and commitment to become this sacrament. You express this in the choices you make about what happens in your wedding. This guide is planned to help you to this end, to keep focus on the essential aspects of your wedding, and to plan a beautiful Christian wedding. One other aspect that is often overlooked in planning is that every sacramental action is an act of the entire Church, the people of God. The participation of those attending is part of the witness of Christian marriage, both to you as support and love for you, and at the same time you remind them of their commitments and choices, and support them. In other words, in your wedding the Body of Christ becomes visible through the love you share and God s presence is shared among all in a most beautiful and tangible way. There is one very good word to remember in all liturgical planning, but especially in a wedding. The word is HOSPITALITY. You have invited guests who come from many different places and traditions. You need to create the space where they feel welcome and part of the wedding. Simplicity and respect are other ways of saying hospitality. We make people, ourselves and our guests, and what we do together the most important part. And we tell everyone that they are loved and are very important persons. When we keep this focus primary, then the choices of details, such as music and flowers, becomes a much easier task. Your wedding entails much more than just the marriage ceremony. The rehearsal and the dinner following, the liturgy itself, and the reception afterwards make up the whole celebration of your marriage commitment. Each of these instances are better connected when hospitality and prayer are their foundations. Table prayers (grace before meals) further enhances everyone s awareness of God s presence and activity in our lives. Postlude: 8 1

Ministers of the Liturgy Who are the people in your wedding? - the Assembly - your family, friends and faith community; - yourselves, the Bride and Groom; - the Presider (bishop, priest, or deacon); - the Witnesses (the Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor); - the Wedding Party (attendants, flower girls, ring bearer, etc.); - the Lectors (those who proclaim the First and Second Reading); - the Musicians (accompanist, cantor/song leader, instrumentalist, soloists, etc.); - the Ministers of the Eucharist (if the wedding takes place within Eucharist); - the Ushers (or Ministers of Hospitality/Greeters); - the Altar Servers (optional even if there is Eucharist); - those to bring forward the bread and wine to the Altar at the Preparation The Worship Space (the Church) Decorations for your wedding are best founded on the principle of simplicity and enhance the focal points where the liturgical action takes place. What have you indicated as important by the way that the space is decorated? Depending on the time of year in which your wedding is celebrated, the church may already be decorated for the liturgical season. Hospitality calls for respecting the regular worship of the community and the community accomodating the needs of this special occasion. Please consult with the presider or those charged with church decorating before making decisions about colors, flowers, etc. Gathering in the Church The first question to be asked here is, who greets the guests at the door of the church? How and where are your guests seated? When are the parents, etc., seated? Prelude music at this time of gathering is critical. It sets the tone of the gathering and invites people to participate in the liturgy. Worship Aids READINGS: Old Testament: Responsorial Psalm: New Testament Epistle: Gospel: MINISTERS: Presider: Witnesses: Maid/Matron of Honor: Best Man: Wedding Party: Lectors: Ministers of the Eucharist: Ministers of Hospitality: NOTES Following the guiding principle of hospitality, worship aids are the best means for inviting the assembly to actively participate in the celebration. A simple order of service will help them know what to expect. Music that they are expected to sing could be included as well as instructions for standing, sitting, etc. Your parish musician, presider, or local diocesan worship office can help you with preparing a worship aid. Altar Servers: Musicians: 2 7

Copyright Laws To observe the copyright laws is a matter of justice. Any music that you reprint in a worship aid must be done with the permission of the publisher. Most publishing companies have policies by which you can reprint music for one time use at a nominal fee. The three companies which publish the bulk of music for Catholic worship are: G.I. A. (Gregorian Institute of America) Publications 7404 S. Mason Ave., Chicago, IL, 60638. 800-442-1358. Oregon Catholic Press P.O. Box 18030, Portland, OR, 97218-9982. 800-243-3296 World Library Publications (J.S.Paluch Co., Inc.) 3825 N. Willow Rd., Schiller Park, IL, 60176. 800-566-6150. Your parish musician or worship office of the diocese can assist you in contacting other publishing companies not listed here. Please be mindful that you are liable, and not your parish, for illegally reprinted music. A Word about Photographers Pictures are a part of your wedding, but you want to insure that they do not become intrusive in the ceremony. Ask the presider for suggestions for the best way to do pictures and for policies of the church during the liturgy. Take your pictures in plenty of time beforehand so that you can continue the celebration with your guests after the ceremony and not keep them waiting while you take more pictures. Introductory Rites These rites involve the movements of gathering and processing, coming together and beginning. People stand out of respect for the presence of Christ and the ministers entering the church. The tone of these rites is one of praise of God for all this good, and reverence for the importance of what is being done today. Your music needs to be strong in text and tone. The entire tone of the liturgy is set here. An instrumental processional piece is not the only musical option at this time. A hymn sung by the assembly can enhance the sense of gathering and can be in addition to walking music. The procession usually includes the minsters of the liturgy and the wedding party. You, the bride and groom, are last as you are the ministers of the sacrament which is being celebrated. A typical order of procession is: altar servers (if included), lector, attendants and groomsmen, the presider and other clergy, the witnesses, and finally, the bride and groom. The number of people in the procession and how are they ordered are important signs of their place in the community and role in the celebration of the liturgy. The other element included in these rites is the Greeting and Opening Prayer which are done by the presider. Liturgy of the Word All are seated to hear the Word of God proclaimed. The presence and movement of the lectors and the proclamation of the Scriptures is important. Rehearsal for them should help them to do this in a fitting manner. Those chosen to proclaim the readings from Scripture should be experienced in this ministry. An inexperienced person may feel undue anxiety, etc. and the experience be less than hospitable for everyone. The first (Old Testament) reading is proclaimed by a lector and another person should proclaim the second (Epistle) reading. The Psalm is sung by a cantor and the assembly. There are some very fine psalm settings available. This is not the place for another type of song. The Gospel Acclamation (Alleluia) is always sung. If not sung, it is omitted. The Gospel is proclaimed by the priest or deacon. The homily by the presider concludes the Liturgy of the Word. The Rite of Marriage You, as the bride and groom, become the center point of all action in this part of the liturgy. The basic elements of the Rite of Marriage are the exchange of consent and rings. The General Intercessions (Prayer of the Faithful) are read by a lector or the presider. An important question to ask yourselves is : What do we need to pray for on this day? The presider can help you write these in the preparation sessions. You should make a list of for what and for whom you want to pray. 6 3

Liturgy of the Eucharist The movement or action at this point shifts to focus on the Altar and all the people gathered around it. The Preparation of the Altar includes bringing forward the bread and wine. This is a place for music that has a meditative or prayerful tone to reflect on the marriage that has just been celebrated. The Eucharistic Prayer is the prime element of this part of the liturgy. The eucharistic acclamations (The Holy Acclamation or Sanctus), the Memorial and the Great Amen) are the parts of the whole assembly and should be sung by them with the leadership of the cantor/song leader. A worship aid (program) would be helpful to make everyone feel part of the assembly. The Lord s Prayer is shared by all the baptized. It is important that everyone be included in this prayer, so it is never a time for a vocal solo. It is followed by the Nuptial Blessing (Blessing of the Bride and Groom). The Rite of Peace follows. Be sure to keep this brief. It is not a social time nor is it a place for music. The Fraction Rite (Breaking of the Bread) is a very important symbol in the liturgy. While symbolizing the death and resurrection of Christ, it also symbolizes our unity with him as the Body of Christ. The Lamb of God litany may or may not be sung. If sung, however, its length should fit the ritual action at the Altar being neither too brief nor cause the ministers and assembly to wait. Communion is one of the highlights of any liturgy. Unfortunately we Christians find ourselves divided by many circumstances which does not include intercommunion. Hospitality demands that those who are not of the Roman Catholic denomination understand this and know what is expected of them while others do approach the Altar. Music during Communion should be that which supports the ritual and also helps all to reflect on the mystery which is being shared - the Body of Christ. The musical selection here also should be such that the Assembly does not need to carry a worship aid to assist their singing as they approach the Altar. Concluding Rites These rites are a sending forth in joyful thanksgiving. Music should reflect this. It is a time of rejoicing together. Hospitality calls for moving people quickly out and to the reception to continue the celebration. The music for the recessional need not involve the assembly actively. An instrumental piece would suffice. The important question here becomes, How does everyone leave the church? and How do we personally greet our guests? The Rite of Marriage Outside of Eucharist The liturgy in this instance is the same as above through the Rite of Marriage. However, in this case the Rite of Marriage is followed by: The Lord s Prayer, Rite of Peace, the Nuptial Blessing, the Final Blessing/Dismissal, and the recessional. 4 Traditions Traditions are indeed wonderful. They provide continuity from generation to generation. But often their original purposes are at odds with what we believe today or their meaning has changed. For instance, some customs - of the bride and groom not seeing each other before the ceremony, or of the bride s father giving her away - come from a time when women were treated as property. Marriage was a business transaction between the groom and the father of the bride. These traditions can change and take on new meanings, such as both the mother and father of the bride escorting her down the aisle. The Rite of Marriage itself presumes that the bride and groom process in together as consenting adults and ministers of the sacrament. The Unity Candle is something that has entered into some wedding ceremonies in recent times. Some people think that it is part of the ceremony that they are supposed to use, but this is not the case! Its symbolism is not completely clear. Lighted candles are normally a symbol of Christ. What does the candle mean, and if it is used, where is it best placed? The Altar is a less than ideal location as the candle might obscure the action there later on in the liturgy or detract from its sacred purpose. You should talk this over with the presider if you are considering using this candle. When it has been used, it normally comes after the General Intercessions (Prayer of the Faithful). It takes a very short time to light this candle, and a song here means that the bride and groom will have to stand for a long time when they are very nervous. This should be considered. A prayerful song at the time of preparation of the Altar makes more sense. The ritual of the Unity Candle could also be easily incorporated in the table prayer for the rehearsal dinner or the beginning of the reception as you are presented at the beginning. This would be a way of incorporating prayer throughout the celebration and lightening the ritual load of the marriage rite itself. Contemporary Music Music heard in a secular setting may express something very special to the couple, but in the worship setting will seem out of place and will express something very different. Because these songs are not written as praise of God nor to support liturgical action, they are not appropriate in a Christian celebration. A good criteria for judging the appropriateness of music for the wedding celebration are two: 1) does it reflect the Christian understanding of the marriage covenant, and 2) does it offer worship to God. Popular (or secular) songs are best kept in the reception. 5