Hardships Proverbs 31:1-9 Ed Hatch, Pastor Palermo Christian Church May 8, 2016 Proverbs 31 (ESV) 1 The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him: 2 What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows? 3 Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. 4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, 5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. 6 Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress; 7 let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. 8 Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. 9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy. Hardships If there ever was a mother who understood the hardships of combining marriage and motherhood, it was Bathsheba. Let me list some of the difficulties she faced. First, she had an affair with the king. Scripture doesn t indicate that the desire was equal on both sides of that relationship which makes it more than an affair. Second, that one-night-stand resulted in pregnancy. In that day it was awkward to say the least. Third, the pregnancy became a secret that she kept from her husband. He was probably clueless about the elephant in the room when he saw her.
Fourth, her husband died. He died in a military battle as a man of honor and integrity. Fifth, she remarried. The man she remarried was the king who got her pregnant and killed her husband. Imagine living with your husband s killer. Her child died soon after birth. Scripture records how difficult his son s death was for David, but her grief must have been even greater coming on the heels of her husband s death. Who knows if that death brought them closer together? The death of a child either brings a family together or tears them apart. They soon had a second son, Solomon. Solomon is the author of many of the Proverbs and became the king after his father, David, died. We have insight into Solomon s view of his parent s relationship. Proverbs 4:3 4 (ESV) 3 When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother, 4 he taught me and said to me, Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live. Solomon was a favorite of his mother. We can understand that. But he also was respectful of his father. Whatever hurt she had suffered at David s hands was not passed on to her child. That does not mean that she didn t try to direct her son s life. She constantly passed on life s lessons that came out of her own experiences. Every mother has them. Some of your mothers went through very trying times. Life was hard. They could identify in some way with Bathsheba.
Some of your mothers had a pretty good life. They feel for Bathsheba, but they have not had anywhere near as hard a life as Bathsheba or some other mothers. They have never lost a child, had an affair, been a single parent, been pregnant outside of marriage or anything like that. What both sets of mothers will do, however, is pass on life lessons to their children. On one hand they will want to teach them in such a way as to protect them from going through the same pain they went through. On the other hand, they will try to pass on those qualities that made their own home life so good. Children, listen to your mothers. I hear people say, We all have to experience life for ourselves. We all go through times of rebellion. That s a lie! The ones who go through hard times are the ones who won t listen and won t learn. The children who end up doing things they regret are often the ones who had to find out for themselves if a hot stove would really burn them. Children, listen to your mothers. They would not be trying so hard to keep you from doing what they did if it wasn t for the fact that what they did hurt them deeply. It s hard to imagine, but imagine you must! Your parents were your age, thought what you thought, got into trouble and want to keep you from trouble. They love you. They at the very least deserve a listen! Children listen to your mothers. Their lives were good. There is a reason why their lives were good. Some of it was outside of their control. But they had good parents, grandparents, mothers and fathers who did things right. Don t dismiss their talk. Why do you have to go on a different path if the path they are leading you is a good one?
Many of us remember the lessons our mother s taught us. Wear clean underwear. You never know when you are going to be in an accident. Eat your vegetables. Wait until marriage before you become sexually active. Choose friends who have a future. When we see how hard life was for Bathsheba, what do you think were the life lessons she passed on to Solomon? Proverbs 31:1 speak of a king Lemuel. We don t know anything about him. History doesn t record him as king of any place. Some translations say Massa but that place has never been clearly identified. The early rabbi s thought that King Lemuel was actually King Solomon. We don t know for sure if it was, but I am making that assumption this morning for the following purposes. First, it preaches well. Second, with the high respect that Solomon had for both David and Bathsheba, what King Lemuel says would reminded everyone of David and Bathsheba s darkest hours. He may have changed the names to protect the guilty. Third, Lemuel means, Dedicated to God. Solomon was dedicated to God. The vows mentioned in verse 2 would reinforce this.
Proverbs 31:1 9 (ESV) 1 The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him: 2 What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows? 3 Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. 4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, 5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. 6 Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress; 7 let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. 8 Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. 9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy. Before we look at the life lessons, let s look at what Bathsheba, King Lemuel or Solomon s mother, was most concerned about. Verse 3 shows that she is concerned about his kingship. She does not want him to be destroyed as king. Verse 5 shows that she is concerned about his kingship. She doesn t want him to pervert the rights of all the afflicted. Verse 8-9 shows that she is concerned about his kingship. She wants him to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the destitute, for the poor and needy. In other words, she wants her son to be all that God called him to be. Solomon was chosen by God and given great wisdom. He had tremendous potential to really impact a lot of people. His mother knew this. She wanted him to excel in his God-given task. When we think of all that went wrong, we have to understand that Bathsheba was also the object of grace. God spared her life, gave her a good home, and gifted her with a wise and loving son.
God wants to give you a gift. That gift is the gift of forgiveness, the gift of strength, the gift of eternal life. The gift is Jesus. He forgives, he gives us strength in this life and secures our position in the next. Bathsheba gives Solomon some life lessons that are good for us as well. The first lesson we learn is that we can be destroyed if we have a wrong focus. 3 Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. The trap a king can fall into is to use his power, his position, and his strength to get women. But if that is what he wants, if that is his focus, then that focus will destroy him. Bathsheba knew. What was the one black mark on David s life: His affair with Bathsheba and the killing of Uriah her husband. Why did this happen? During the time of year that kings were off to war, David was at home admiring the view from the rooftop. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time and ended up doing the wrong thing. Bathsheba knew the power that a woman can have on a man. There are many Christian men or women who have dated and married someone who was not a Christian. What was the result? They may have had a happy marriage, but it was rare that that couple lived a life built on the Lord Jesus Christ. If you focus is on Jesus, don t let someone of the opposite sex take that focus away.
Solomon was different from his father in that he didn t kill men to take their wives. But Solomon was known for the number of wives and concubines he had. What does the Bible say was the problem? These women turned his heart away from God. When his heart moved away from God, it destroyed his ability to reign as king. He could still fight wars and make decisions. But when a man s heart turns away from God he loses the eternal perspective. He loses the love for God and love for others that mean so much to God. He stops thinking about love and justice. He is more interested in pleasing the flesh. He is willing to compromise his morals to do so. The second lesson that we learn from King Lemuel s instruction from his mother is that drugs destroy the ability to make good decisions. 4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, 5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. Alcohol abuse affects decision-making. A king who takes strong drink will forget what has been decreed and will pervert the rights of all the afflicted. We do not know the role alcohol played in this whole scenario with David and Bathsheba. David did not have a reputation as a drunken king. Read the book of Esther to find Ahazaraus who had continual drunken feasts that lasted for days. But it is not hard to picture that alcohol may have played a role in that whole episode. King Lemuel s mother warns him that drugs affect one s ability to think clearly and make good decisions. The decisions that the king makes affect all of his subjects. You cannot help others if you are not thinking straight.
Under the influence of alcohol, people s ability to process information is diminished. Young people read the newspapers. How many accidents happen when someone is drinking and driving? How many men are in court for fighting or beating up their girlfriends while under the influence of alcohol? How many times are people the victims of rape or abuse where drugs are involved? I dare you to pick up a paper and record the number that show up in one week! Let me put it this way. Some of you are going to play the fool and say, I will go out, get drunk, and have someone else drive. You will experience the buzz, the good feeling, and an artificial high. Others will say, I want to live for God. I want to be under the Spirit s control. I want a clear head at all times so that I can do what God wants and be what God wants. I want to bring every thought captive to Christ, not captive to some stupid drug. She goes on to tell him an appropriate place to help someone. If people are dying, don t make it hard. 6 Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress; 7 let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. If someone is going to a temporary crisis, drug relief is available if they are in bitter distress. One of the life lessons from my mother was not to drink. When I was a child, she dedicated me according to the dedication of the Nazarite vow, which included no drinking. She cried when she heard I had communion wine at Camp Berea in New Hampshire.
What I didn t know was that my father was a wonderful man when he was drinking. He would give people the shirt of his back, the money in his pocket. But when he returned home and the guilt of the neglect of his family, the poverty and pressure of the bills, the disapproval of my mother, all exploded on her. My mother never put my father down even though he abused her and abandoned her when I was about three. Like Bathsheba, she had experienced real pain in her life. Like Bathsheba, she passed on a major life lesson to me. I don t drink because I am a Christian. I don t drink out of respect for my mother and the awareness that alcoholism is passed on from one generation to the next. Some things my father did, I admire. But this is one area in which I don t want to be like him. I am more susceptible to the negative influences of alcohol because of what my father did. And neither did my mother. That is why she passed on this life lesson to me. Justice was perverted when David concocted the scheme to cover up his sin. How could Bathsheba refuse to come when the king of the nation demanded her presence? Who was the destitute, the poor and needy, the one the king should have protected? What was Uriah to do when the king calls him home from the war and then sends him back with his own death warrant in his hand? The very subjects that should have been protected by the king, he manipulated and used for his own purposes. God is blessed when Christian children grow up to be men and women of integrity, who treat others right and who are willing to stand up for the poor and oppressed. It is the very nature of Jesus to identify with those that others ignored. For those with the spirit of God in their hearts will go to the sinner, the sick, the broken, the poor, the one that no one else pays any attention to with grace and truth.
Children, listen to your mothers. They may not feel free to tell you why they do what they do or say what they say. But be smart and listen. You don t know the hidden hurt or the great joy that lies behind their words. You don t know what they have seen or gone through. They may not even know how to tell you. But honor them by listening. Many of you who are here today do not have children. But we have all had mothers. No matter our age, most of us hear their voices ringing in our ears. God has used them in our lives. It was God that designed the family to have a father and mother to raise children. Whether your home is intact, broken, or yet to be, listen and learn. I don t know if King Lemuel s oracle from his mother stops at verse 9 or verse 10. But from what I read, his mother fit the bill in spite of her hardships. 10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. I also know that Solomon loved his mother. So take a moment today to let your mother know you love her. If she is no longer alive, take a moment to think about the life lessons she taught you and thank God for her.
12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. 14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. 15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. 17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. 18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. 20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all. 30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.