STAN TOLER S PRACTICAL GUIDE FOR PASTORAL MINISTRY

STAN TOLER S PRACTICAL GUIDE FOR PASTORAL MINISTRY S T A N T O L E R Indianapolis, Indiana

Copyright 2007, 2011 by Wesleyan Publishing House Published by Wesleyan Publishing House Indianapolis, Indiana 46250 Printed in the United States of America ISBN: 978-0-89827-612-1 The Library of Congress has catalogued a previous edition as follows: Toler, Stan. Stan Toler's practical guide for pastoral ministry / Stan Toler. p. cm. ISBN-13: 978-0-89827-353-3 ISBN-10: 0-89827-353-6 1. Pastoral theology. I. Title. II. Title: Practical guide for pastoral ministry. BV4011.3.T64 2006 253--dc22 2006036073 All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible. Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or any other except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

CONTENTS Preface 9 Acknowledgments 11 PART 1: PERSONAL GROWTH 13 1. Characteristics of Great Pastors 15 2. Discovering Joy in Ministry 19 3. Reflecting the Holiness of God 22 4. Keys to Flawless Character 25 5. Steps to Pastoral Health 29 6. Creating a Dynamic Devotional Life 33 7. Facing Personal Attacks 37 8. Pastoring the Pastor 41 9. Powering Up for Ministry 44 10. Making a Good Impression 47 11. Surviving Change 51 12. Thriving amid Adversity 55 13. Improving Your Integrity 59 14. How to Get Time Off 63 PART 2: FAMILY LIFE 67 15. Making Your House a Home 69 16. How to Get Along with Anybody 73 17. Marks of a Healthy Family 76 18. Financial Habits for Life 80 19. Bringing Out the Best in Your Family 84 20. How to Make Others Feel Important 88 21. Creating an Atmosphere of Affirmation 91 22. Power Listening 95 23. Say Good-bye to Bitterness 98

STAN TOLER S PRACTICAL GUIDE FOR PASTORAL MINISTRY PART 3: MINISTRY 102 24. Delivering Consistent Pastoral Care 103 25. Adding Doors to Your Church 107 26. Conducting the Funeral 111 27. Conducting the Wedding 115 28. Planning the Worship Service 119 29. Extending Your Influence 123 30. Ensuring a Second Visit 126 31. Leading a Worship Team 131 32. Inspiring Confidence 135 33. Effective Evangelism 139 34. Improving Your Print Image 143 35. Ten Tips for Hospital Visitation 147 36. Reviving a Lukewarm Church 151 37. How to Offer Correction 155 38. What to Do When Members Leave 159 39. Recruiting Top Volunteers 163 PART 4: LEADERSHIP 167 40. The Prerequisite for Church Leadership 169 41. Five Marks of a Great Leader 173 42. Casting Faith-Inspired Vision 177 43. Building a Winning Team 180 44. Directing Attention 184 45. Evaluating Opportunities 187 46. How to Recruit Leaders 190 47. Tips for Training Leaders 193 48. Seven Teams You Need 196 49. Ensuring Institutional Integrity 200 50. Five Ways to Expand Your Expertise 203 51. Becoming a Spiritual Leader 207 52. Leading Under Authority 211 53. Managing Change 215 54. Managing Risk 219 55. Leading in Uncertain Times 222

CONTENTS PART 5: COACHING 225 56. Enlisting Others to Achieve the Vision 226 57. Inspiring Others to Succeed 229 58. Becoming a Leader Who Inspires Confidence 232 59. Orchestrating the Work of Others 236 60. Qualities of a Mentor 240 61. Taking Responsibility for Your Ministry 244 62. Team-Building Tips 247 63. Defining Success in Ministry 251 64. Inspiring Others to Dream 254 65. Inspiring Others to Follow 257 PART 6: COMMUNICATION 261 66. Essential Preaching Skills 262 67. Preaching for Life Change 266 68. Earning an Audience s Attention 270 69. How to Get Your Message Across 274 70. Using Story in Preaching 278 71. Using Humor Effectively 282 72. How to Talk about Money 286 73. Communicating Your Vision in Writing 290 74. Keys to a Successful Board Meeting 294 75. Staying on the Cutting Edge 298 Afterword 303

PREFACE If you are interested in being the best pastor you can be and in leading people to a new level of excellence in their journey with Christ, this book is for you. This is a book about becoming a vibrant, passionate, effective ministry leader. It s about winning championships, not playing games. These pages represent a distillation of the many lessons I ve learned out there on the field in the heat of the competition. I m often told that I have a pastor s heart. If that means that I have a heart for local church ministry, then it s true. I ve been a pastor more than thirty years in small, midsize, and larger churches. If it means that my heart is with pastors and Christian leaders, that is true also. Years ago someone took the time to mentor me to teach me about working with people, about leadership principles, and about teaching and preaching the truth of God s Word. I m still learning. I m also learning how to teach others. Being in front of a class or auditorium teaching other pastors and their staff members how to do vibrant ministry is one of my favorite pursuits; and I ve been doing it for at least twenty-five years. In seminars, conferences, and international speaking engagements, I have had the honor of meeting dedicated Christian leaders people like you servants of Christ who have experienced the joys and challenges of leading others while still hungering to learn more about ministry. Twenty-first-century leadership is a construction zone. We are always working to sharpen our skills so that we can motivate others to be their best for God.

STAN TOLER S PRACTICAL GUIDE FOR PASTORAL MINISTRY In this book, I m sharing a portion of what I ve learned over the years. Much of that learning took place in classrooms, libraries, and conferences, but most of it was acquired in the only setting that really matters on the job in worship centers, auditoriums, fellowship buildings, classrooms, and boardrooms. I ve been where you are, and I m still there. I know what it s like to bear the responsibility for raising funds for a building project that seems just out of reach. I ve felt the boardroom stares from folk who would rather have shown me the highway than do things a different way. And I ve stood beside grieving loved ones, praying that the Holy Spirit would offer some word through me that might comfort them in their pain. I know the challenges of pastoral ministry, and I pray that these chapters will be a help to you. I pray that they will motivate you, enlarge your vision, rekindle your passion, and provide the practical help that you need for doing ministry in these changing times. You ll find resources here for dealing with almost every area of ministry. In my seminars, I often make the statement It s not about theory, it s about practice. That accurately describes my approach to pastoral ministry and the contents of this book. Principles are explained, but most important are the practical tips you ll need to grow personally and to help you grow your church or organization. I m on your team! We are laborers together in the great work of the Kingdom. Let us be satisfied with nothing less than excellence. STAN TOLER Jeremiah 33:3 10

PART 1 PERSONAL GROWTH Complacency is a deadly foe of all spiritual growth. A. W. TOZER I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. PHILIPPIANS 3:14

1 CHARACTERISTICS OF GREAT PASTORS You ve seen them on Christian TV. You ve read their books or magazine articles. You ve been to their auditorium-packed seminars. Their names are familiar. Their churches are full on the weekends and alive with activities during the week. Their church campuses resemble a small college. They are the superstars of the Church. Untold numbers of pastors have been called good pastors, but these select few are considered great pastors. What makes them so great? They attended the same colleges or seminaries as other pastors. They all started out with insignificant preaching assignments. They all have mowed a church lawn or changed lightbulbs in the church basement sometime in their ministry. But the question is, does a rise in ecclesiastical stature make a great pastor? Can you be a great pastor in a smaller church? Are some pastors struggling with self-identity when, in the eyes of their parishioners, they are considered one of the greats? Of course! A multi-thousand-member church doesn t make a great pastor. A multi-million-dollar church campus doesn t make a great pastor. A multi-degreed seminarian doesn t make a great pastor. Many pastors are

STAN TOLER S PRACTICAL GUIDE FOR PASTORAL MINISTRY great pastors in spite of all that! There is something more, something far deeper and far wider. Some have been inducted in the pastors hall of fame who had little of the church s recognition. Some have spent their entire ministries in bivocational pastorates and have had a greater impact for Christ than all the rest. So what s so great about great pastors? If we look carefully, we ll see that great pastors share five essential characteristics. They Know How to Pray Of course there isn t a prayer gauge. Heaven doesn t have a list of those who spend more time in prayer than others. What makes these people great in prayer? Practice. Great pastors believe in the power of prayer and practice praying on a daily basis. Practice? Is prayer a discipline like brushing your teeth? I believe it is. You are taught something because you either don t know how to do it or because you want to improve your skill. The disciples asked the Savior to teach them how to pray. (See Luke 11:1.) They wanted to improve their discipline of prayer. They had regularly witnessed the Son of God praying to His Heavenly Father. They saw or heard His intensity, His humility, and His dependence on His Father. They witnessed the strength He gained from those regular times of prayer, and they wanted to be like Him. You will do many things that you thought at first were impossible because you believe God in prayer to do it through you. Great pastors understand that it is their connection to God not their skill that will sustain them. They are known as prayer warriors and have a prayer routine. Great pastors get out of the church loop and spend time alone with God, and they are more concerned about spiritual health than church health. You may or may not have a megachurch, but you can be a giant in prayer. 16

PERSONAL GROWTH They Have Personal Integrity Unfortunately, many pastors will spend long hours on a pedestal high enough for everyone to watch their every move. Great pastors will pass the test. They won t always do the right thing, but they will always seek one thing: Christlikeness. They will seek to be like the Master in their personal life and in their ministry. A great pastor always speaks the truth and has the courage to correct his or her mistakes. The words I m sorry aren t pulled from their mouths like an impacted tooth. Great pastors take responsibility for their actions. They lead with integrity. They understand that when they re confronted with compromise, there is one right moral choice and they are willing to make it. Great pastors realize that they are ambassadors of the Kingdom. They make personal choices or lead others to make choices that are good for the Kingdom good administrative choices, good ministry choices, and good relational choices. They are known for their tough love. Their resolute demeanor has an underlying compassion that affects their every attitude or action. They Have Great Flexibility Great pastors understand that their way isn t necessarily the best way. They copy the best of the best unless it compromises their character or calling. Leadership in any arena comprises two components. The first is technical expertise, or the ability to get the job done. It is important for a pastor to be proficient in the skills of his or her discipline. Great pastors are willing to step out onto the ecclesiastical edge. They are willing to do things differently if the end result is the building up of the Kingdom. They Are Team Builders But there is another component of their leadership. Great pastors are willing to pass the torch to a new generation. And they surround themselves 17

STAN TOLER S PRACTICAL GUIDE FOR PASTORAL MINISTRY with eager learners. These leaders are mentors as well as learners, helping those around them learn what they have mastered. They Have a Sense of Direction Great pastors know how to clarify their vision. The Apostle Paul had the unique ability to focus his energies on what really mattered. First and foremost, he focused on Christ. Great pastors have a wellgrounded sense of identity. They seek the direction of the Holy Spirit in their lives and in their ministries. Great pastors are willing to lead their people into unmapped territory if God designs it. They know where they are going and they are willing to take others with them. They Have a Great Commitment They know that they could have excelled in other vocations. But great pastors understand that they have more than a job. They know they have answered the call of God. They accept the risks that come with their calling and are willing to pay a price to succeed. They have counted the cost of answering their call, and they do not look back. Great pastors aren t great because of the size of their church. They re great because of their commitment to excellence. Does that describe you? 18