10 Body Language Blunders SalesHQ 1. A Closed Body Whether sitting or standing, your body should be loose and open. Do not cross your arms. Do not cross your legs. While you may think it conveys a sense of ease, studies have shown that a people read a closed body differently: they subconsciously think you have something to hide. What s more, you re missing a golden opportunity to send a positive signal. In keeping your body open and your arms spread a little more widely than your torso, you offer your counterpart a mock hug. You don t want to actually hug them (that could be mistake #11!), but this visual cue of a hug antecedent sends the right signal. 2. Clenched Fists Clenching your fists can create two problems. First, the closed body issue (#1): closed hands are just like closed bodies. Second, you could make some people think that you re short-tempered and ready for a fight. You don t want your interviewer or client to think you re about to hit them. While clenching for many is just a nervous habit, it s one well worth training yourself to avoid. Force your hands open to send positive signals and convey a sense of being at ease with yourself and the conversation.
3. The Handshake The handshake is your first chance to make a non-verbal impression. To begin with, you should endeavor to be the first to offer the handshake. You don t want your arm flying up wildly in a desperate attempt to be first. However, when someone new comes in and says your name (usually as a question) extend your hand and reply. When the handshake begins, make sure you extend your arm without fear. If there is any hesitation on your part, you ll end up shaking fingers. Aim for two pumps. Many more than that and your handshake partner will see you as exceedingly nervous (or that you re trying to rip of their arm). Keep your hands dry. No one likes to reach out and touch someone if they ve got clammy palms. Step 1: Don t clench your fists. This will make your hands warm and build up sweat. If that s not enough, wash your hands regularly (drying well) or keep a tissue in your pocket. 4. Posture Unfortunately, teachers no longer make students walk around with books on their heads. While this may be great for students now, most of them will have poor posture a few years down the road. Bad posture gives off an air of timidity or sloth. A person sitting in a chair, slouching, does not project confidence and determination. It s like your body saying, Whatever, in response to every question. Put your shoulders back, suck your stomach in. Try to find a more upright way of sitting that still feels somewhat comfortable.
5. Brow Furrowing You hear something interesting. You think hard about something. What do most people do with their face? Furrow their brows. Unfortunately, this is also the facial expression for scorn or bewilderment. While there may be subtle distinctions, no one will pick up on them in a thirty-minute encounter. To avoid this tic, try opening your eyes a little wider each time someone says something interesting or asks a question that makes you think. A positive action in response to a habit reduces the tic s occurrence more than just trying not to do anything does. In addition, opening your face up subconsciously invites people into your thinking, rather than scaring them away. 6. Shifty Eyes Though it may be a myth of history, many people believe that Richard Nixon was defeated by John F. Kennedy in the first televised presidential debates because of Nixon s eyes. Kennedy had a natural television presence. Nixon (whom Kennedy personally admired as a smart and gifted leader), according to many viewers at the time, had eyes that seemed shift and unfocused. The lesson: make eye contact and rarely break it. This doesn t mean you can t blink (it would be even worse if you didn t) and you can glance down from time to time. But looking your interlocutor directly in the eyes says, whether fairly or not, I m honest and have nothing to hide.
7. Aggressive Nodding When you agree with someone a natural reaction is to nod. When you re a little nervous, people tend to exaggerate that. But when you answer yes to a simple question, you shouldn t look like you re having a seizure. A fast, repetitive nod says that you re nervous. A slow, short nod utilizes body language to emphasize something important, the point of agreement. It also shows that you re not eager to please, you just happen to please (and happen to be the right match). Points of agreement are magic moments, you don t want to ruin them by creating a hurricane with your head. 8. Fidgeting If you think a good strategy is to seemed bored, fidgeting is the way to go. If, on the other hand, you want to be perceived as engaged and interested, stop. The best way to avoid this is to know yourself and how you fidget. Don t: Tap your foot Twirl your pen Doodle Pick at your nails or cuticles Twirl your hair Rub your hands together incessantly Tap your fingers on a table
9. Wild Gestures It s natural to try to communicate with your hands and arms when speaking. Just don t get carried away. Only use your body language for emphasis when you really want to accentuate a point. One of the worst gestures you can make is to point. No one likes being pointed at or having a finger wagged in their face. Better ways to use your hands? 1. The Karate Chop. Hand flattened with one or two gentle downward movements. 2. The Bill Clinton. Former President Bill Clinton was a master of communication. Clinton often emphasized his points with his hands, but he seldom pointed. Instead, he made a fist then moved his thumb over his index finger. He was still pointing, but with just the nub of his thumb extended, it was not aggressive like a full index finger is. 10. Distraction Of course you don t want to seem distracted in an interview or client meeting. But not coming out behind isn t the same as coming out ahead. Potential distractions should be seen as an opportunity to convey your professionalism and focus. Someone accidentally comes into the meeting room? Continue looking at your target and stop speaking until the person excuses himself then resume speaking like nothing happened. Don t even mention it. You are so focused on what s important, nothing can distract you.