Writing a Cell Phone Strategy

Transcription

1 Writing a Cell Phne Strategy Just like TV, cmputers and vide games we need t learn hw t manage cell phnes fr ur children as the phnes dn't cme with a kid instructin bklet. Even thugh yur children think they have all the answers, they d nt. Cell phnes are the mst difficult t manage because they are small and are with ur children 24/7. But dn t let their size fl yu! Statistics say that yur child s first expsure t prn will be n a phne (theirs r a friends) r ther handheld device. S, we have t get ahead f this ne and pay attentin t the best ways t make cell phnes wrk fr ur families. We lve ur phnes and they are cnvenient fr sure, in fact, it is hard t remember hw any f us lived withut them. But mst f the benefits are fr adults. When it cmes t hmes and prtecting childhd we need t rethink the age that we allw ur children t have their wn phnes, what type f phne (smart r nt s smart), and what bundaries we will place arund their use. Mm and dad, remember yu are the final authrity f their phne as yu are ultimately respnsible fr what ges n under yur rf and what yur child des with his phne, gd r bad. Questins t discuss: Wh in yur hme shuld have a cell phne? I feel that this is anther area where we try t equip ur children t sn fr the adult wrld. Mst children d nt need cell phnes. Perid. If yu have a cell phne if is fr yu. If yur child has a cell phne it is fr yu. The average child des nt NEED a cell phne. Here are a few things t cnsider when cntemplating wh in yur huse shuld have their wn phne. Is the child respnsible? Des he/she make up his bed every mrning independently? Des he/she make his wn lunch every day fr schl? Des he/she brush his teeth withut being tld? Des he/she cnsistently d his hmewrk n his/her wn? Des he/she take pride in keeping his/her rm in rder? Nt perfect but rganized? Can he/she easily find his shes, hmewrk and library bk n schl days? Des he/she fully and respnsibility understand the 'birds and the bees,' sexually transmitted diseases, scial media laws and prn?

2 Use yur cmmn sense here, dn t let culture guide yu. If yu are still reminding yur child t brush his teeth every day and finding his shes fr him, he is prbably t yung fr a cell phne. I persnally feel that a child shuld have develped levels f respnsibility in ther areas f his life befre he is handed a phne. Many parents hand ver these mini pcket cmputers (phnes) t their kids nt realizing the full ptential f shrt and lng term damage they can bring t yur child. It is a ticking time bmb in many cases and they may nt be ld enugh t manage it n their wn s dn't put that burden n their little shulders yet. The time will quickly cme when yu can help them make gd cell phne decisins. Why d they need it? What is the purpse? What is the purpse fr yur elementary age child t have a phne? Middle schl? High schl? Yu shuld be able t write ut very distinct purpses usually related t safety fr each child. Is the child in a dangerus situatin n a daily basis? is the child unsupervised daily? Is he/she driving? Is he/she walking t sprts in a rugh part f twn after schl withut an adult? Is the child mving between tw hmes f a divrced family? If this is the case, des he need access t his phne all thrugh the schl day? Or just n weekend? Or during visitatin? Benefits f cell phnes fr children: Safety. Cmmunicatin with a wrking parent after schl hurs. Safety fr a handicap child. Negative reasns t give children a cell phne: All their friends have ne. Sciety says it is expected. Yu dn t want them t be left ut and unppular. Yu dn't want them t be behind the times and nt be able t get a jb ne day.

3 It is the next thing n their technlgy list and yu have nthing else fr their birthday this year. It is the nly thing n their Christmas list. Because yu dn t have a huse phne. (Yu can still have a cell phne fr the huse that is nt given t each child. It can stay in the kitchen like the wall phne.) Because yu want t access yur children 24/7; tracking their lcatin and texting them thrugh the day. Other negatives fr data cell phne use in general: Questinable sites and prn access. Stress fr parents in managing and lcking dwn parental cntrls. Decrease verbal cmmunicatin skills with texting rather than vice t vice r eye t eye cntact. Expsure t and delivering hurtful gssip. Self-absrptin (self-phts, self-image bsessin and ppularity bsessin). Stress fr child in being cnstantly cnnected and distracted 24/7; cnstant stimuli. N rest r dwntime fr brain develpment and deep thinking. Scial stress and verlad; knwing t much infrmatin abut thers. Having thers knw t much infrmatin abut yu. Discnnecting with family. Phnes are a natural wedge between yur child s cnnectin with their family as they fcus mre n easy, shallw, scial, virtual relatinships t meet their needs rather than their strng family cnnectins. Many parents feel that a child needs a phne when he begins driving fr safety reasns; but remember that cell phne usage is becming the number ne reasn fr teen car accidents and death. Cnsider a "phne ff in the back seat nly" rule while driving. While a teen may need a phne fr safety reasns, an elementary age child des nt need a cell phne. A middle schl age child des nt need a phne. If there is a rutine safety issue, yu can get a phne that is a nt a smart/data phne and is prgrammed t nly call a few numbers. If the phne is truly a safety device, that is all they need. If the purpse is t give them a ty and pen access t the net, then the smart phne will wrk. What kind f phne? What phne is best fr each persn? While Mm and Dad may need a smart phne fr wrk and general hme management, children d nt (unless they are trying t pay the mrtgage nline). If yu decide that yur child needs a phne, think thrugh the purpse and decide if a nn data phne will wrk fr his needs. Simple flip phnes are still available and may be an ptin fr the first phne yur child has. Yu can als set up his accunt t dial nly certain numbers fr emergency reasns if that is the purpse. If yur child is in a sprt with changing

4 practice times yu may need t cmmunicate with him but a flip phne will wrk perfectly and is enugh t manage fr kids. Keeping up with it (and the charger) may be mre respnsibility than he can handle. When and where can they use it? This will take sme brainstrming but it is imprtant t develping a gd cell phne strategy. Jt dwn the times when yur child can have his phne: Only at hme? After schl? After dinner? After bedtime? Only at schl? Only n weekends? Only when parents are nt with him? Other? And the times when he cannt have a phne. List times when it is nt gd t be n the phne fr recreatinal purpses and have yur child add t this list. Yu are teaching yur child respnsible use and hw nt t be rude with his phne. They are nt brn with this knwledge, yu must cmmunicate and discuss tech matters with them! List the times they shuld nt use their phne: During the day fr unlimited play and texting? Yur child/teen shuld chse ther activities ver texting friends fr hurs n end. At schl? In class? In the schl bathrm? During hmewrk? Turning the phne ff during hmewrk will keep the distractins dwn and the grades up. During dinner? Family mvie night? When friends are ver? When ver at friends' huses? When ut t dinner with family r friends?

5 The curfew. Write guidelines fr the time at night when the phne shuld be turned ff and put in the tech basket in the kitchen. The cntract. It is gd t have a cell phne cntract with yur child s they are clear n the rules and can be equipped t manage it well. Many cntracts are available nline. (G t Cell Phne talk by Dawn Pluterer fund n the Mms Managing Media site.) Phne Parental Cntrls. Parental cntrls are definitely necessary if yur child has a smart phne. They are als necessary n yur phne if yu have a child. Managing parental cntrls is difficult t d n phnes. Many parents reprt that their child is still getting thrugh the cntrls and are arund ther children wh dn't have cntrls n their phnes getting t the sites that they are experimenting with. Cntact yur phne cmpany t research the built in cntrls, curfews and filters that are available. Mark yur calendar fr regular checkups as they can "mysteriusly" get changed. Finally... Just like yu wuld nt give yur child the car keys t practice driving by himself when he is in 5th grade, yu shuld be very careful abut giving him a phne t manage. There will be plenty f time fr him t learn hw t drive a car and there will be plenty f time fr him t learn hw t respnsibly manage a phne when he is a bit lder and a bit mre respnsible and his brain is mre develped. If yu are in charge f charging yur child's phne he is nt ld enugh t have it. If he has lst his phne he is nt ld enugh t get anther ne. Insurance cmpanies wn't even let yu rent a car until yu are 25 because they knw that yur brain and executive functin is nt develped until then. Keep this in mind when yu make decisins fr yur children. If yu are wrried abut equipping yur child t use a phne, dn't wrry. It is mre imprtant t make sure he is develpmentally ready first befre yu add smething t his wrld that he cannt manage. Melanie Hempe, 2014, Mms Managing Media. All Rights Reserved.