Mindfulness Meditation for Teens

Transcription

1 Mindfulness Meditation for Teens Dr. Ong Tien Kwan Facilitator

2 Free Distribution This booklet is for free distribution only. It may not be sold or traded for profits. Reprints The gift of dhamma excels all gifts Permission to reprint this booklet is given freely as long as no change is made to it without the author's consent. It is alright, however, to design your own cover for this booklet. This booklet can be given away for free or as a gift, but cannot be sold or traded in any ways for profit. You can contact the author at ongtim@hotmail.com

3 Foreword Early this year, I was invited to share my experience on meditation with the teenagers in our Sungai Long Buddhist Society Sunday Dhamma School. I was given four sessions with them, over four consecutive Sundays, each lasting slightly more than an hour. I ponder on this challenge how to impart some fundamental meditation knowledge and practice to them within the given time slots. Eventually, I decided to narrow it down to teaching them the importance of mindfulness, and to share with them simple practises that illustrate mindfulness in action using the body, feelings and thoughts as object of meditation. This booklet is the result of this sharing. The decision to put it down in print is so that it can be shared with others as well. Hopefully, it will be of benefits to them. Any errors found in this booklet are mine alone, and I would appreciate it if you could point them out to me if you find them. Dr. Ong Tien Kwan 4 July 2012

4 Avoid Evil. Do Good. Purify the Mind This is the advice of all the Buddhas A Short Introduction to Buddhist Meditation Meditation is simply the practice of cultivating and purifying the mind. Although meditation is commonly associated with Buddhism, it must be pointed out that meditation practices have been in existence even before the Buddha was born. There are many different types of meditation. Generally, we can categorise them into two very distinct groups. The first group is called samatha or concentration meditation. As the name implies, the goal of this type of meditation is to achieve a concentrated mind, that is, a mind that is quiet, focused and attentive to a single object. The object of meditation can be anything. Breathing meditation, which uses the breath as the object of meditation, falls under this group of samatha meditation. The second group is called vipassana or insight meditation. The goal of insight meditation is to increase and strengthen one's awareness or mindfulness. The object to be mindful of can be either one's own bodily sensations, feelings or thoughts. Vipassana meditation is distinctively a Buddhist meditation because this form of meditation was not taught or known until the Buddha himself introduced it to the world.

5 Vipassana meditation is necessary for enlightenment because the sharp and penetrative mindfulness that resulted from constant practice allows the mind to see things as they really are. As mindfulness increases, the ability to see and understand the true nature of one's thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations as well as the common worldly characteristics of impermanence (anicca), unsatisfactoriness (dukkha) and non-self (anatta) in them becomes the realisation that is needed to finally let go of all our attachments to sense pleasures and to becoming. Craving (tanha) is dropped, ignorance is ended and the mind is liberated. There is a misconception that all that is needed to become enlightened is to practice vipassana meditation. Therefore, samatha meditation is ignored, put aside or given little importance. While it is true to say that vipassana is the final step that is necessary for enlightenment as it leads us to see things as they really are, it is equally important to know that concentration is necessary in order for one to raise mindfulness to the highest level that allows this penetrative insight to occur. Thus the two types of meditative practice must go hand in hand for the best result. It will not be possible for us to cover both types of meditation in this workshop, nor will we be able to go very in-depth in mindfulness meditation. Thus in this workshop, our goal will be to introduce and to show you how you can develop mindfulness of bodily sensations, feelings and thoughts.

6 Why mindfulness? One important question we should ask ourselves is why it is useful to cultivate mindfulness. There is actually a long list of benefits that you can gain from cultivating mindfulness. However, for our purpose here, it is sufficient to say that increased mindfulness of our own bodily sensations, feelings and thoughts will help us to: 1. Understand ourselves better how we think, feel and behave; why we behave in a certain way; our beliefs and attitudes; our habitual tendencies 2. Manage our emotions recognise and name our emotions; express them in more positive and beneficial ways; understand our emotional pains and heal them 3. Improve our relationships with others including with our selves, our parents, our siblings, our friends and our teachers In short, it will improve the quality of our lives, raise our self esteem and make us a more understanding and compassionate person. It will make us stronger mentally so that we have the resilience to face any kind of challenges that life can throw at us. It will also make us flexible and adaptable to the winds of change in life. As our mindfulness increases, our concentration deepens and our mental clarity increases as well. Such a mind will improve our ability to absorb and retain information, making it easier for us to do well in our studies and examinations.

7 Mindfulness of the Body In the Satipatthana sutta (Discourse on the Four Foundations of Mindfulness), the Buddha taught us how to be mindful of four objects our bodily sensations, feelings, thoughts and dhamma. In this workshop, we will focus on the first three objects only, namely our bodily sensations, feelings and thoughts. Of the three objects mentioned, it is easiest to learn to be aware and mindful of the bodily sensations. Compared to feelings and thoughts, bodily sensations are coarser and therefore more easily recognised, named and examined. Let us now do a body scan exercise to practice being aware and become more mindful of our body and the accompanying sensations. Find a space on the floor to lie down. As you are lying down slowly, close your eyes and begin to be aware of the various points on your body pressing against the floor the back of your feet, the calves, the buttocks, the back muscles and the back of your head. Now be aware of all these contact points between your body and the floor. Be aware of the hardness of the floor and the softness of your body touching the floor. Is the floor cold? Is it smooth or coarse? Is there any pain on your body? Discomfort? Tingling sensations? Cold? Warm? Now bring your attention to your breathing. Do not try to control the rhythm of your breathing. Simply allow your breathing to be as natural as possible. If you are breathing in fast, just note that you are breathing in fast. If you are breathing in slow, just note that you

8 are breathing in slow. The same goes for breathing out. If it is fast, note that it is fast. If it is slow, note that it is slow. If it is long, note that it is long. If it is short, note that it is short. There is no need to change the breathing pattern intentionally. Do note, however, that we have the tendency to want to change things that we don't like. Allow your mind to settle down. Now bring your attention to your toes. Wiggle your toes a little. How do they feel? What sensations can you notice? Is there any discomfort? Is it cold or warm? Then move your attention to your feet. Again take note of any sensations you can detect. Now sense your legs and calves. How do the muscles feel like against the floor? Can you feel the pressure the weight of the legs exert on the floor? Are your legs comfortable? Now move your attention further upward to your thighs and then the buttocks. What is the sensation like against the floor? In the same way, gradually move your attention to your abdomen, your chest, your back, your arms, your hands and fingers, your neck and finally to your head. In each part of your body, take note of the sensations in that area. Is it hard or soft? Is it cold or warm? Is there pain or tingling sensation? Is it comfortable? Finally, scan your body from head to toe, and note whether there is one particular area where there is most discomfort. Bring your attention to this part. Simply observe the sensation of discomfort. Note the tendency to want to change it by moving or shifting the body. Simply accept the discomfort and allow it to be. Acknowledge it and embrace it as part of your bodily experience. Feel gratitude towards this part of the body for it is through it that you are able to experience life. Notice that like all conditioned things, the discomfort gradually fades away even when you do nothing to it. Now, when you are ready, gently open your eyes. The more you practice this body scan, the more you become aware and mindful of the sensations that your body experiences. So this practice, when done regularly, will enhance your body

9 mindfulness. There is, however, another equally important thing you should achieve. Notice that in the last part of the body scan, you are asked to learn to simply observe the discomfort of the body. Under normal circumstances, whenever we feel physical discomfort, we have this automatic tendency to change or shift our body position to alleviate the discomfort. In this practice, we are instructed instead to simply observe the discomfort dispassionately or nonjudgmentally and do nothing to it. If at all we want to do something, it is to accept, acknowledge, embrace and allow it simply to be as it is. We can radiate metta or loving-kindness to it. We can be grateful to it. What we will notice, when we practice this properly, is that the energy that sustain the discomfort will gradually dissipate and disappear completely. At some point, the discomfort will end on its own. After all, whatever conditioned things that arise must pass away. What this portion of the practice does is to create and sustain a new mental habit or tendency the habit of accepting and allowing things to be as they are. This is an important habit to acquire as it will bring the mind to a sense of balance and equanimity. An equanimous mind is a mind that is not easily shaken by the worldly winds of change. The end result is that we will eventually have a mind that, instead of automatically running after pleasurable sensations or running away from painful sensations, stays unaffected or unshaken by both pleasures and pains.

10 Mindfulness of Feelings Understanding our emotions helps us to: 1. Recognise and identify our emotions (name our emotions) 2. Manage our emotions well so that they are expressed in healthy and beneficial ways 3. Know ourselves better Several Facts about Emotions: 1. Emotions are natural, so there is no need to reject or suppress them. The idea is to understand them and manage them well. 2. Emotions are the vehicle by which we experience life. It is difficult to imagine how life can be experienced and appreciated without emotions. 3. Emotions have various degree of intensity. Anger, for example, can be mild or can be so extreme as to drive a person to harm another. 4. Emotions can both help us and harm us, depending on how we manage them. 5. Emotions that are suppressed or disowned can re-appear covertly in harmful ways. Thus, rather than ignoring or suppressing emotions, it is wiser to get to know them, understand them and befriend them. Then you will find it easier to manage your emotions. Emotions are more subtle compared to bodily sensations, so it may take a while to learn to be aware of them. Furthermore, emotions can be mixed, making it difficult for us to isolate and identify them accurately. In addition, in our culture, we are not taught to recognise or talk about our emotions. So we may find it difficult to recognise and name them correctly. The practice of mindfulness of feelings will lead us to expand our vocabulary of feelings. This

11 practice requires not only patience and persistence but also courage to face our emotions truthfully and honestly. Mindfulness of Feelings Practice This practice on mindfulness of feelings is not the same as that taught by the Buddha in the Satipatthana sutta. Our focus here is on learning to recognise and name the emotions, and to differentiate the cognitive aspects (thoughts) of the mind from the affective aspect (emotions). Sit in a comfortable position. Remember to keep your spine straight. Gently close your eyes. Do not think about the past. Do not worry about the future. Simply bring your attention to this present moment, right here and now. Turn your attention to your breathing. Allow your breathing to be natural as you breath in and breath out. If the in-breathe is fast, note that it is fast. If it is slow, note that it is slow. If it is long, note that it is long. If it is short, note that it is short. Likewise with the out-breathe. Allow your mind and body to calm down gradually. Now, be aware of whatever feeling that arises. Can you describe or name this feeling? Is it a discrete feeling or is it mixed? Is it subtle or is it gross? Where is the feeling located in the body? Is it light or heavy? Is it pleasant or unpleasant? Does your feeling have any colour or sound? What else can you notice about it? Could you notice what was the thought that gave rise to this feeling? Note your reaction to this feeling. When you feel this way, what is your tendency? Do you want to change it or make it go away, or do you want it to stay? Do you want to reject it, suppress it or ignore it? Instead of giving in to your tendency, could you simply observe this feeling, without judging it? Could you just watch it without approval or rejection? Could you just accept it or

12 allow it to be? If you want to do something about it, simply acknowledge its presence, embrace it and thank it for showing you a truth about an aspect of yourself. Then, continue to watch it until its energy dissipates and the emotion fades off by itself. Let it go gracefully. Fill the same space with loving-kindness or compassion. Stay as long as is needed in this new positive energy, and when you are ready, gently open your eyes. This mindfulness of feelings practice helps us to become more aware of our emotions, to recognise them and to name them. With constant practice, we can become more familiar with our own emotions. We can even notice the thoughts that give rise to our emotions. We will soon realise that every emotion is preceded by a thought. Thought is the cause and emotion is the effect. In turn, emotion becomes the cause that leads to our behaviour or action as the effect. As our mindfulness increases, we will be able to notice that whenever an emotion arises, it is followed by an automatic tendency or reaction, that when we are not aware of, fully manifests itself in our action or behaviour.

13 With increased mindfulness, we can now become aware of this automatic tendency and make a conscious choice as to how we want to manage it. We can choose to simply observe it until it fades away, or we can choose to allow it to manifest in a beneficial and healthy way. The end result is an action or behaviour that is beneficial to us as well as to others. For example, let's say you have an appointment to see the dentist. If you are like most people, you will begin to feel fearful or anxious when the appointment draws near. Notice that it is not the visit itself that is causing the fear but the thought of the visit. Notice also that if you have never been to a dentist before or have no idea what a visit to the dentist is like, you may not have this fear because you have no previous experience to associate it with. As the appointment date gets closer, the intensity of the fear may increase. The more you anticipate an undesirable event or outcome in the future, the more intense is the feeling of fear. Like some kids, you may then react by looking for ways to avoid the visit. You may say that your tooth is not painful anymore, or that you have something important to do on the appointment day. Younger kids may just throw a tantrum and refused to go. As a mature youngster who knows that the visit to the dentist is for your own good and will cure your toothache, you may decide to face your fear with courage. On the day of the appointment, you managed to brave yourself and saw the dentist. When all is done, you realised that the actual event is not as frightening as you had earlier imagined, and sighed with relief. Very often, this is what happens to us. We have the tendency to imagine and magnify the unknown fear only to find out later that the real thing was not as bad as we had imagined it to be.

14 Our emotions are like waterfalls When a boat is moving towards a waterfall, it is easy to divert to the bank if it is still far from the edge of the waterfall. As it gets closer, it becomes increasingly more difficult to divert the boat. Once the boat is at the edge of the waterfall, it is almost inevitable that it will fall over the edge into the pool below. Likewise with our emotions. The sooner we note an emotion as it arises, the easier it is for us to manage it. Without mindfulness, what normally happens is that we get into an emotional outburst after someone or something triggered our hot buttons. We may feel remorseful after the outburst but by then it is already too late to undo what we have said or done. We can clearly see this sort of outbursts or temper tantrum in young kids but adults are not immune to it as well. Sometimes a single outburst can destroy a lifetime of friendship or work. Thus it is to our own benefit to learn mindfulness of feelings and learn it well. Once you are adept at this mindfulness of feeling practice, you can actually use it to heal your emotional wounds and pains. Perhaps we will cover this important area in another workshop in the near future.

15 Mindfulness of Thoughts Learning to be mindful of our thoughts can lead us to understand ourselves better. We will be able to see how our mind works, the causal links between mind and feelings, and how our mind automatically associate certain images and words with our past experiences. Our mind thinks in images or pictures, and each of these images is quickly associated with an old experience. Thus one thought will stir up another thought (image or word) and its associated feeling or feelings. This is how our automatic thought arises. So, although automatic thoughts may appear to be random, they are not. They actually arise from very specific causes. For example, take a look at the list below: NASI ROTI NINJA if I were to give you the word NASI, most Malaysians would give me LEMAK as the next word in the blank space. Likewise, if I were to give you the word ROTI, the next word CANAI quickly comes to mind. For children, the word NINJA is easily associated with TURTLES because of their frequent exposures to the animated series on TV. Naturally, for those who do not have the experience of eating nasi lemak or roti canai, the above association would not be possible. Thus, the so-called free association is not entirely free as it is heavily influenced by our past experiences.

16 When we practice mindfulness of thoughts, what we do is to turn our attention to the thoughts that arise, regardless of what they are. We observe them arising and passing away, without judgment. We accept whatever thoughts that arise, whether good or bad, and simply accept them as they are, acknowledge them and even embrace them. We continue to watch them until they fade away, to be replaced by other new thoughts. We note the automatic tendency to want to suppress negative thoughts, to ignore or to push them away. We simply watch this tendency and see that when we do not feed this tendency with any energy, the tendency simply melts away eventually. Thoughts are even more subtle and faster than emotions. So, it will take stronger mindfulness before we can observe the working of our mind with clarity. Once this mindfulness is greatly sharpened, we will be able to easily note the arising of negative thoughts and gently replace them with positive thoughts. This, in turn, will lead to more positive and wholesome outcomes and experiences for us. Let us now try to be mindful of our thoughts. Sit in a comfortable position, with your legs folded and your spine straight. Gently close your eyes. First, pay attention to your breathing, noting the rhythm of your breathing. There is no need to control your breathing. Simply watch it as it slowly and gently settles to its own natural rhythm. Now, draw your attention inward to your thoughts. Simply note each thought as it arises and passes away, to be replaced by another thought. See the link between the earlier thought and the new thought if you can. If you can't, it is alright. Do not agitate yourself. Simply move on to the next thought. Can you note what kind of thoughts or emotions are associated with this thought? What mental picture appears? What emotions are stirred? Watch the mind's tendency to want to change what is unpleasant or to hold on to what is pleasant. Do not do anything. Simply watch this

17 tendency until it fades away on its own. Realise that thoughts are fleeting and impermanent. They are unsatisfactory. It is our attachment or clinging to these fleeting thoughts that is the cause of sufferings. The stronger we cling to them, the more we suffer. Therefore, learn to note this clinging to our thoughts, and to gently let go. Simply allow them to come and go, like passing clouds. Now bring your attention back to your breathing, and gently open your eyes.

18 Final Notes A sportsman exercises and trains regularly to improve in his game. Likewise, if you want to improve your mindfulness, you too much practice your mindfulness regularly. Mindfulness practice is not confined to just formal sitting meditation. In fact, mindfulness is of limited use if you can only be mindful when you sit in meditation. You must be able to use your mindfulness in your daily life for it to be of any meaningful benefits to you. For example, when you are talking to your parents or teachers, are you mindful enough to use only gentle words and respectful attitude? When your friends disturbed you, can you be mindful how to respond appropriately? When your examination is approaching, are you mindful of the arising anxiety? Are you aware that when you make definite plan for your studies and revisions, and you act on the plan, your anxiety diminishes as your confidence grew? Thus, strengthening our mindfulness is just one of the goals of our meditation practice. The other goal is to use this mindfulness to understand ourselves better, so that we can manage our feelings and thoughts in more skillful ways. This will lead to the development of wisdom, resulting in the ability to make better decisions and live a better life.

19 May you have... the courage to change the things you can, the serenity to accept the things you can't, and the wisdom to know the difference. - Adapted from the Serenity Prayer