Staying Positive and Optimistic Even When Bad Things Happen

Transcription

1 Staying Positive and Optimistic Even When Bad Things Happen Produced by SkillPath Seminars The Smart Choice 6900 Squibb Road P.O. Box 2768 Mission, KS Staying Positive and Optimistic Even When Bad Things Happen Copyright 2009, SkillPath Seminars All rights reserved.

2 Table of Contents Introduction...3 The Five-step Plan to Becoming the Master of Your Thoughts and Feelings Instead of the Victim...4 How to Break the Negative Habits of Worrying and Catastrophizing Specific Ways to Turn a Negative Attitude Around...5 How to Establish a Positive Work Culture That Encourages Optimism and Mutual Support for Correcting Negative Patterns...6 Recognizing the Self-defeating Activities That Contribute to Negativity...6 Taking Control of the Quality of Your Life With the CPA Formula...7 How to Use a Simple Yet Very Effective Formula for Changing Pessimism to Optimism...7 Personal Action Plan When Bad Things Happen...8 Bonus Material...9 Symbol Key Symbols used in this workbook: Introduction: A brief overview of the course you are about to begin Learning objectives: A guide to a session s key points intended to help focus your attention on important elements and essential take-aways Summary: A quick review of what you have learned in the current session Personal Action Plan: An opportunity to apply your newly learned skills and knowledge to your specific work environment

3 Introduction Everybody goes through difficult times in their lives. The most important things you ll learn in this audio conference are that you can turn your negative thinking and attitudes around in order to face your problems head-on and that you can rid yourself of negative thinking. List the five steps to becoming the master not the victim of your thoughts and feelings Explain how to break the negative habits of worrying and catastrophizing Define the self-defeating activities that contribute to negativity 3

4 The Five-step Plan to Becoming the Master of Your Thoughts and Feelings Instead of the Victim Your thoughts and feelings help make you who you are. They have a profound effect on your life, your success and your happiness or lack of happiness. Put your problem in perspective: Everybody has problems Every problem has a limited time of existence Every problem changes you, but you can choose what your problem will do to you There is a negative and a positive to every problem Mastering negative thoughts and attitudes: Step 1: Tune in to your thoughts Step 2: Pinpoint the I can t thoughts that are contributing to your negative attitude Step 3: Turn off the negative thoughts Step 4: Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones Step 5: As you begin to see the situation in a more positive light, begin considering alternatives to your situation 4

5 How to Break the Negative Habits of Worrying and Catastrophizing A thousand fearful images and dire suggestions glance along the mind when it is moody and discontented with itself. Command them to stand and show themselves, and you presently assert the power of reason over imagination. What is catastrophizing? Catastrophizing is a thought process whereby you imagine that a situation is far worse than it truly is. Two forms of catastrophizing: 1. Letting a situation appear catastrophic 2. Looking to the future and imagining all the things that will go wrong Here s how to stop yourself from catastrophizing: Ask yourself to confront the worst-case scenario Ask yourself if you can live with that possibility Instead of worrying, use your energy to head off the anticipated problems Sir Walter Scott 10 Specific Ways to Turn a Negative Attitude Around Use these methods to turn your negativity around. 1. Assess what s going well in your life 2. Make yourself focus on what is actually happening the real situation 3. Change the way you view your job or change jobs 4. Visualize yourself succeeding 5. Ask yourself whether you re holding yourself to higher standards than you do others 6. Strive to use more positive language when you speak and write 7. Avoid rigid thinking 8. Don t procrastinate. At some point, the things you put off will pile up, and you ll be forced to address them as an overwhelming group of tasks. This can lead to negativity. 9. Work to keep your relationships vital and fun. Distance yourself from pessimists. 10. Have a support group that can give you encouragement during rough times 5

6 How to Establish a Positive Work Culture That Encourages Optimism and Mutual Support for Correcting Negative Patterns Your positivity can have a constructive effect on your workplace. People naturally gravitate to happy people. And your positive attitude can rub off on them. Establishing a positive work culture: Keep the lines of communication open Encourage employee participation Set realistic job expectations and evaluation criteria Be consistent in treatment of individual workers Understand that negativity in the workplace can result from problems at home Provide continuous feedback/positive reinforcement Show respect Remember your manners Recognizing the Self-defeating Activities That Contribute to Negativity Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. Mark Twain If you find yourself in a difficult situation, it is up to you to get yourself out of it. And you surely won t succeed if you are guilty of these self-defeating activities. Smoking, overeating, drug and alcohol abuse and other activities that abuse the body, confirming that you re not worthy Workaholism Lack of goals provides an excuse for not taking charge Workload both at home and at work Frantic pace but little progress 6

7 Taking Control of the Quality of Your Life With the CPA Formula By taking accountability and using the CPA formula you can increase the quality of your life. Create Promote Allow How to Use a Simple Yet Very Effective Formula for Changing Pessimism to Optimism You CAN change your negativity to optimism. Consider this formula and its truthfulness. Dr. Albert Ellis defined this formula for explaining how what we believe about an event determines the consequences: A = Event B = Belief C = Consequence A + B = C You can t change A, but you can change B, which will, in turn, change C. 7

8 Personal Action Plan When Bad Things Happen Scenario: Your company just laid off two people in your department, and you ll be responsible for their work. Using the five steps to master your thoughts and feelings, how would you deal with this? Think of a difficult time you re having right now or have had in the past. Apply the A + B = C formula. Now, how can you adjust your thinking to make it optimistic instead of pessimistic? In this audio conference you ve learned 10 specific methods to use to turn a negative attitude around. You studied how to establish a positive work culture to encourage optimism, and you learned to recognize self-defeating activities. 8

9 Bonus Material What Negativity Does to You Negativity affects your spirit: 1. It is self-defeating 2. It causes stress that affects you both mentally and physically 3. It drains you of motivation and energy 4. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy 5. It makes you live in a negative state 6. It places you in the role of the victim How a Negative Attitude Influences Achievement Personally and Professionally Personal life is out of balance. Goals aren t set because they don t seem obtainable. Or if they are set, a negativist will sabotage his or her ability to meet them. Career progress or advancement is delayed or simply never materializes because of strained relationships or poor performance (due to lack of goals or failure to meet them) 9

10 How to Distinguish a Truly Negative Attitude From Thoughtful, Productive, What-Might-Go-Wrong Contingency Thinking Let our advance worrying become advanced thinking and planning. Sir Winston Churchill True negative attitude: The attitude or belief that things will go wrong and that nothing can be done to solve a problem or meet a challenge. Cautious planning: Carefully weighing the possible pitfalls and creating a plan to deal with them if they occur. Coping Strategies for Dealing With Chronically Negative People Counter with a positive perspective Do research before presenting a proposal Propose alternatives Seek out support for your idea from others before meeting with the negativist Ask the negative person to describe a worst-case scenario Understanding the Negative Personality People who are constantly negative may: Feel inferior Have crucial life experiences others don t know about Have legitimate problems others don t know about Come from a negative family Be depressed 10

11 Breaking Bad Habits Such as Negativity Here are the steps to break a bad habit: 1. Awareness: You must identify a specific habit you want to change 2. Want to Change: You must accept that breaking a bad habit requires a conscious effort and that doing so is a worthy goal 3. Commitment: The hardest of them all. Refocus on your commitment every day 4. Consistent Action: Be consistent in the tools and methods you use to break the habit 5. Perseverance: No one said it would be easy. But just imagine how good you ll feel once you have replaced the bad habit with a good one. 11

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