Proverbs 24:3-4. By wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established;

Transcription

1 Proverbs 24:3-4 3 By wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established; 4 And by knowledge the rooms are filled With all precious and pleasant riches. Proverbs 24:3-4 by wisdom (seeing with discernment) Your house (your marriage) is built (restore, rebuilt) by understanding (responding with insight) it is established (set in order) by knowledge (learning with perception) your rooms filled (implies abundant satisfaction) with all precious & pleasant riches (essential things that make life meaningful) God alone can give you these skills & abilities (Proverbs 2:6; Psalm 127:1)

2 Genesis 1:24-31 God: spoke creation into existence made all the animals created man and woman blessed them commanded them provided for man & animals was pleased with all His work Man: created by God - in His image - in His likeness - male & female blessed by God commanded by God - be fruitful, multiple, fill the earth - subdue it - rule over fish, birds, cattle, all the earth, every creeping thing provided for by God Pattern: God Himself Product: Distinctly male Distinctly female Purpose: To rule over Creation Provision: Every plant yielding seed every tree with fruit yielding seed Other Key Words: Man made in God s image, in His likeness Animals made after their kind - opposes EVOLUTION Man is a distinct creation. MAN AND WOMAN Copyright Cecilia Perh Genesis 2 God: completed His work rested from creating blessed & sanctified 7 th day made earth & heaven formed man from dust breathed into man s nostrils planted garden placed man in garden commanded man said not good for man to be alone took rib from man s side brought woman to man Man: How created 1. from dust 2. breathed into by God Responsibilities Phy: placed in garden (v15) - to cultivate it - to keep it Moral: commanded to not eat from tree of knowledge of good & evil (v17) Intellectual: to name animals (v19) Needs: loneliness (v20) no helper suitable God s Solution for Man s Need v18 I will make helper suitable v19 brought animals to man v20 Man realized his need v21 caused to sleep, lost one rib v22 God fashioned rib into woman, brought her to man v23 Man s response Principles for Marriage (v24-25) 1. leave - PRIORITY 2. cleave - PERMANENCE 3. one flesh - ONENESS 4. naked & not ashamed - OPENNESS

3 A. Three Primary Relationships Foundational Truths for Marriage (Gen 2:24-25) 1. man & God (2:7-9, 16-17) - most important, eternal 2. husband & wife - permanent, until death 3. parents & children - continues until marriage of child or death GOD B. Marriage = The Most Important Horizontal Relationship 1. Priority leave husband s responsibility 2. Permanence cleave wholehearted commitment spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, physically 3. Oneness one flesh monogamous, heterosexual, Heb. idea - one in every way 4. Openness naked & not ashamed Deuteronomy 20:5-8 No national service for one year for a C. Marriage is God s Idea! newly married man 1. for God s own good purposes for man & woman (Gen 1:28) 2. not to thwart woman s ambitions; not to bring misery but happiness (Deut 20:5-8) 3. life is colorless with only one sex 4. God has always lived in a family Father, Son, and Spirit 5. His plan is to give His Son a bride D. Marriage is God s Solution for Man s First Problem: Loneliness (Gen 2:18-22) Marriage begins with a need for companionship and completion HUSBAND WIFE

4 Finding Your Life Partner 1. A Bride for Isaac (Genesis 24) Abraham sent his servant to his relatives to get a wife for Isaac. Servant prayed to God and asked for a sign, sign given; Rebekah willing to leave 2. A Bride for Jacob (Genesis 28:1-5; 29) Jacob sent to his own relatives, fell in love with Rachel, asked for her as his wages and worked 7 years for her but got Leah instead. Custom was to marry off the older first, so Jacob worked another 7 years for Rachel 3. A Bride for Joseph (Genesis 41:37-52) Pharaoh gave him a bride 4. A Bride for Moses (Exodus 2:15-22) Jethro gave his daughter to Moses 5. A Husband for Ruth (Ruth 3) Naomi followed the word of the Lord (see Deut 25:5-10) and sought a husband for Ruth. Ruth obeyed and asked Boaz to fulfill his duty as a kinsman-redeemer to her. 6. Joseph and Mary (Matthew 1:18-25) They were betrothed, usually in childhood by their parents 7. Yourself?

5 Brad Strand on Genesis 24:4 - The Genesis 24 account of what led up to the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah offers us a beautiful example of how GOD THE FATHER can lead two people together. The Scriptures offer proven principles that apply to both young and old, first-time marriages, or even second marriages. These five principles, if followed, can direct a person to the right partner for life: 1) Learn to date only Christians (i.e., people who agree with you spiritually - Gen 24:1-4; I Cor 7:39 & II Cor 6:14-18), 2) Learn to be content with your singleness (See Phil 4:10-13) until the FATHER (i.e., the LORD God - vs 7) decides otherwise (See Gen 24:5-7 & Prov 19:14), 3) Learn to date Christians who possess character (See - Gen 24:10-14 & Prov 31:30). Marriage is not so much finding the right person as it is being the right person (See - Heb 13:4), 4) Learn to date Christians who understand commitment (See Gen 24:50-58 & Mt 19:3-8). No vow (i.e., marriage vow) is foolish if kept (See Eccl 5:1-6). Divorce should never be an option, 5) Learn to date Christians who understand God s kind of love (See Gen 24:67; II Jn 1:6). God s kind of love is not puppy love. The problem with puppy love is that it often leads to a dog s life. Copyright Cecilia Perh 2005 vvvww.2tim2-2.com

6 Dr. Paul Popenoe, founder of the American Institute of Family Relations in Los Angeles Some of his findings: 1. Men and women differ in every cell on their bodies. 2. Woman has greater constitutional vitality. 3. They differ in basal metabolism woman s normally lower. 4. They differ in skeletal structure. 5. Woman has a larger stomach, kidneys, liver & appendix but smaller lungs. 6. In functions, woman has several very important ones totally lacking in man menstruation, pregnancy, lactation, all of which influence behavior & feelings & contribute to emotional instability. 7. Woman s blood contains more water (20% fewer red blood cells) tires easily & more prone to fainting. 8. In brute strength, men are 50% above women. 9. Woman s heart beats more rapidly (80 vs 72 for men); blood pressure (10 points lower than man) varies from minute to minute; but she has much less tendency to high blood pressure, at least until after menopause. 10. Her vital capacity or breathing power is lower. 11. She stands high temperatures better than does man; metabolism slows down less. We must recognize & value innate differences Copyright Cecilia Perh 2004

7 Men 1. sees whole picture 2. logical and realistic 3. more emotionally clam 4. works on goals 5. tends to be more objective 6. realistic 7. needs respect 2 fears a. being dominated by a woman b. feeling inadequate 8. slower to recognize, express & sense emotional needs needs tranquility in the home Psychological Differences Women 1. sees details 2. intuitive and idealistic 3. more emotionally volatile 4. works on relationships 5. tends to be more subjective 6. idealistic 7. needs love 1 basic fear a. being treated like an object 8. quicker to recognize, express & sense emotional needs needs romance in her life Men ten to speak a language of the Head while Women tend to speak a language from the Heart. maneise womaneise language of the head language of the heart left brained right brained logical centre for feelings analytical relational factual language aggressive communication skills Copyright Cecilia Perh 2004

8 Some Emotional and Intuitive Differences Between Man and Woman 1. Women tend to be more personal than Men. They tend to have a deeper interest in people and feelings (building relationships), while men tend to be more preoccupied with practicalities that can be understood through logical deduction. Men tend to be more conquer-oriented, hence their strong interest in sports such as football and boxing. Men tend to be less desirous and knowledgeable in building intimate relationships, both with women and with others. 2. Women tend to find their identity in close relationships, while Men gain their identity through vocations. 4. Women often need more time to adjust to change. Because of a woman s emotional identity with people, and places around her, she needs more time to adjust to change that may affect her relationships. A Man can logically deduce the benefits of a change and get psyched-yp for it in a matter of minutes. Not so with a woman. Since she focuses on immediate consequences of relocating, e.g., she needs time to overcome the initial adjustment before warming up to the advantages of it. 5. Women tend to express their hostility verbally whereas Men tend to be more physically violent. 6. Women do catch subliminal messages faster and more accurately than Men. Since this intuition is based on an unconscious mental process, many women feel something about a situation or people, while Men tend to follow a logical analysis of circumstances or people. 3. Women become an intimate part of their surroundings, the people they know and the things that surround them, they enter into a 7. A Woman s sexual drive tends to be related to her menstrual kind of oneness with their environment. cycle, while a Man s drive is fairly constant. A Woman is Though a man relates to people and stimulated more by touch and romantic words. A Man is usually situations, he does not allow his identity to less discriminating about those to whom he is physically become entwined with them. He somehow attracted. While a Man needs little or no preparation for sex, a remains apart. That is why a woman views her woman often needs hours of emotional and mental preparation. home, cooking ability, etc., as an extension of Harsh or abusive treatment can easily remove her desire for herself and can be hurt when it s criticized by sexual intimacy for days at a time. When a woman s emotions others. A man may not realize this but when have been trampled by her husband, she is often repulsed by he yells at the kids for something they did, his his advances. However a Man may not be aware of what he is words affect his wife deeply as well. putting his wife through. Copyright Cecilia Perh 2004

9 Five Basic Needs Men Expect Their Wives to Fulfill Five Basic Needs Women Expect their Husbands to Fulfill 1. Sexual Fulfillment 2. Recreational Companionship 3. An Attractive Spouse 4. Domestic Support 5. Admiration Fact: Men & women have great difficulty understanding & appreciating the value of each other s needs. Men try to meet the needs they value and likewise the women. Fact: Marriage is a special relationship which allows a spouse exclusive rights to meet some important needs. 1. Affection 2. Conversation 3. Honesty & Openness 4. Financial Support 5. Family Commitment Fact: Successful marriages require skill - skill in caring for the one you promise to cherish throughout life. Willard F. Harley - His Needs, Her Needs Copyright Cecilia Perh 2004