Abuse and Violence Directed at Transgender Elders

Transcription

1 Abuse and Violence Directed at Transgender Elders By Loree Cook Daniels I am currently working with a trans victim who was assaulted and threatened at the church she has belonged to for more than 35 years. She was told, I will beat you like the man you are, and as the perpetrator was saying this, he was hitting her and telling her to leave the church. An elder trans woman of limited finances agreed to let a young questioning trans person stay at her small apartment while the person struggled to get their life together. But quite quickly it became clear that the younger person was taking advantage and financially exploiting this elder trans woman for her generosity. Eventually, after being there 3 months without contributing to rent, food, phone, or cable, she stole the woman s bank card, credit cards, and some of her ID, leaving this woman in a horrible state. Early in my transition [in my late 50s], my then wife attacked me on several occasions, choking me and threatening me with a knife. I was physically assaulted in [city name withheld] by an unknown cab driver who kicked me and spit on me and knocked me down calling me puta and filthy cunt, etc.i was molested by a co worker at a luncheon one week later. I had been verbally assaulted at same location by a nurse who humiliated me. My ex wife was verbally very abusive to me. The sexual assault and molestation resulted in a nervous breakdown/post traumatic stress I was unable to work. My ex would get drunk and demand sex, starting with our wedding night. She required me to do stuff outside, in the pool, on the deck, and sometimes in the kitchen with the children or grandchildren out and about in the next room My ex liked to try and rip my penis off or cut it off with her nails, and verbally abused me while we had sex. Legal definitions of elder abuse At home, on the streets, even at church: the sites in which transgender elders experience violence and abuse for the most part mirror where abuse of other elders take place. And as with other elders, abuse of transgender elders comes in different flavors. In most states, legally recognized forms of elder abuse include 1 : Physical abuse: the use of physical force that may result in bodily injury, physical pain, or impairment. Physical abuse may include but is not limited to such acts of violence as striking (with or without an object), hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, shaking, slapping, kicking, pinching, and burning. The unwarranted administration of drugs and physical restraints, force feeding, and physical punishment of any kind also are examples of physical abuse. 1 Every state has its own definitions of what constitutes elder abuse. The definitions listed here were developed through a consensus process. To find the definitions your state uses, go to Page 1

2 Sexual abuse: Nonconsensual sexual contact of any kind with an elderly person. Sexual contact with any person incapable of giving consent also is considered sexual abuse; it includes but is not limited to unwanted touching, all types of sexual assault or battery such as rape, sodomy, coerced nudity, and sexually explicit photographing. Emotional or psychological abuse: The infliction of anguish, emotional pain, or distress. Emotional or psychological abuse includes but is not limited to verbal assaults, insults, threats, intimidation, humiliation, and harassment. In addition, treating an older or disabled person like an infant; isolating an elderly or disabled person from family, friends, or regular activities; giving an older or disabled person a "silent treatment"; and enforced social isolation also are examples of emotional or psychological abuse. Neglect: The refusal or failure to fulfill any part of a person's obligations or duties to an elder or disabled adult. Neglect may also include a refusal or failure by a person who has fiduciary responsibilities to provide care for an elder or disabled person (e.g., failure to pay for necessary home care service, or the failure on the part of an inhome service provider to provide necessary care). Neglect typically means the refusal or failure to provide an elderly or disabled person with such life necessities as food, water, clothing, shelter, personal hygiene, medicine, comfort, personal safety, and other essentials included as a responsibility or an agreement. Financial or material exploitation: The illegal or improper use of an elder's or disabled adult's fund, property, or assets. Examples include but are not limited to cashing checks without authorization or permission; forging an older or disabled person's signature; misusing or stealing an older or disabled person's money or possessions; coercing or deceiving an older or disabled person into signing a document (e.g., contracts or a will); and the improper use of conservatorship, guardianship, or power of attorney. Abandonment: The desertion of an elderly or disabled person by an individual who has assumed responsibility for providing care or by a person with physical custody of an elder or disabled person. Self neglect: Characterized as the behaviors of an elderly or disabled person that threaten his/her own health or safety. Self neglect generally manifests itself in an older or disabled person's refusal or failure to provide himself/herself with adequate food, water, clothing, shelter, safety, personal hygiene, and medication (when indicated). The definition of self neglect excludes a situation in which a mentally competent person (who understands the consequences of his/her decisions) makes a conscious and voluntary decision to engage in acts that threaten his/her health or safety. Transgender elders identify many more types of abuse Transgender elders, however, label additional types of actions as abuse, especially if they feel the abuser s motives include transphobia. A 2007 Transgender Aging Network study of abuse experiences and fears among transgender people age 50 and older found that many offered stories of street violence or harassment: There is a group of teens in my neighborhood that will call out HESHE HESHE as I walk by. A younger child walked over to my daughter and I and one of them came running up saying, Stay away from her, she ll rape you. Page 2

3 I live in a very conservative area rural Wyoming where I was raised. I am constantly subjected to covert and sometimes overt ridicule, and live with the constant awareness of the potential for violence. Another common type of story was a type of family abandonment that was probably never contemplated by legislators crafting elder abuse laws: I am [a male to female post operative transsexual] and aged 52. I have a 14 year old daughter who just said to me one day, My father died. I have had no contact in years. My son and daughter in law will not let me see my grandson. They think I will do something to him. I don t even know him now. It breaks my heart not to see him. My closest friend of over 30 years finally said, I just can t handle this. No contact in years. My ex wife was very supportive in the beginning but when physical changes started taking place there was anger. She moved away when I went for surgery. Never seen her or my daughter again. A uniquely transgender category of stories were problems with bathrooms or sex segregated services. A very conservatively dressed trans woman was eating, with two friends, a man and a woman, at a local pizza place. When she wanted to use the bathroom (a single use bathroom), she was approached by one of the staff, who loudly told her that she could not use either the women s or the men s room. When her friends asked to see the manager, they were told to leave, which they did. There was no follow up to the incident. A cross dresser had to enter into a nursing home and was basically told, You can t do that here. She said she felt she d been threatened. Don t do it, or you ll be kicked out. None of these latter stories constitute abuse under law, so the government systems set up to investigate, address, and prevent (at least reoccurrences of) abuse law enforcement, adult protective services, and longterm care ombudsman programs will not provide help to their transgender victims. When transgender elders do experience an illegal act of violence, they are often poorly treated. Here are two such stories. I was physically assaulted by my legal FTM spouse, to the extent that I had to go to the hospital emergency room for treatment. I got a restraining order against his return, but he violated it several weeks later and attempted to rape me. On both occasions the police appeared to think these behaviors were very funny. After the initial assault, one of the responding police officers stated, Why the hell didn t you just punch his lights out? You must be about twice his size. When I responded, Then you would have taken me in for assaulting him! he just shook his head. Since it was clear that the [city name withheld] would give me no protection at all, I abandoned my home, along with most of my personal possessions, and used the last of my money to fly back to [city name withheld], where I had friends. I was talking to a TG person in [city name withheld], and she had told me about the feelings of neglect she felt when trying to talk to the police at [a transgender] pride fest. She stated they seemed to just want to brush her off, and had no time to even give her their badge numbers If this is the way the police Page 3

4 act toward TG people at a TG public event, what would they do to me if I was a victim of abuse while outside en fem and had a problem? Life constriction as a result of fear of abuse The person reporting police behavior at the transgender pride fest noted that the story alone had changed her life, limiting her activities: It leaves me worried about not being able to relax enough to get out, if we can not even get support from the police if they act as if we do not exist. I do not go out anymore, en fem, unless I am with [a transgender] group, and within the group s company. So I am very restricted at present. Her reaction of limiting her activities to reduce her risk of abuse is not at all uncommon. Here are four other stories, including one from a 35 year old, about how they think their lives have changed as a result of fear of elder abuse: I have decided not to have any life extending surgery because of past mistreatment by nurses at [the Veterans Administration hospital]. I prostitute myself at age 55 because even though I m a [post operative transsexual] and passable [as a woman], no one passes 100% of the time. NO ONE. Job discrimination is bad because you re stuck with fellow employees 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week. That much harassment is bad for one s mental health. I am presently living alone to eliminate in home abuse. However, that increases my medical risk and also eats up all the money needed for medication and medical care. It s a lose lose situation as of this moment. [A]s a trans 35 year old who is a service provider who has borne witness to incidents of violence and abuse for elders, I m scared to death about my own future. There is Alzheimer s in my family, and I know there s a good chance it s going to claim me as well. What will happen to me once I can no longer advocate for myself? Will they call me she? Will they make fun of my body right in front of me, knowing I won t really understand? Without a significant other, and without children, I fear I ll be left in a nursing home somewhere where no one actually cares about me as a human being. At 35 I ve already written a living will. In Ontario it s called a Power of Attorney for Personal Care. And honestly? I have more or less decided that I just won t let myself get to that point where I can t take care of myself. I d rather take matters into my own hands and self euthanize (that s a nice way to say it, don t you think?) while I am mentally cognizant and physically capable of it. Should the time come when I need to take my own life in order to avoid these horrific experiences, I will. Trauma re emergence in later life Many elders spoke of the long lasting effects of abuse that happened years or decades before. In a sexual violence survey FORGE conducted, it was not unusual for transgender sexual violence survivors to first seek Page 4

5 emotional help for coping with their sexual assault(s) ten years or more after the assault(s) took place. One 50 year old transgender woman felt she still needed help coping with her childhood abuse: [Question: What kinds of services would you find useful?] Social support, and therapy to help me develop the missing social skills that are a consequence of my childhood abuse, and my years and years of cognitive dissociation. Answering a question about how her intimate relationship(s) had been affected by sexual violence, another 50 year old survivor of childhood sexual abuse said simply: I can t hold a relationship. The survivor of a long term, abusive marriage said: My life got really, really small, slowly over thirty years, and it took me more than a year to get to where I was comfortable with myself, and six more months before I dealt with any of the abuse only in the last month has most of the dealing with the abuse happened. Elders who feel they have dealt with or are long past previous abuse may be surprised when a health crisis, life change (such as retirement), or death of a loved one suddenly causes the trauma to re emerge and produce painful symptoms. One woman, a survivor of both childhood sexual abuse and several types of abuse perpetrated over decades by her ex wife said, I have good coping skills and attitude, and at the same time was able to stow/compartmentalize both abuse situations away from my conscious awareness. It didn t come up seriously until I started volunteering for a group for stopping abuse in the lesbian, bisexual women s and transgendered communities the training I went through kicked it ALL loose. The sexual abuse was only a part of what was going on, with physical and emotional and financial abuse as well. Prevention Given the generally high rate of violence against transgender people throughout their lifetimes, given transgender elders defining abuse in ways that go far beyond the social structures set up to address violence and abuse, given past traumas having long term, life constricting effects, and given the prospect of settled traumas re emerging in later life, the challenge to adequately address the results of trauma and violence in the lives of mid life and older transgender people is daunting. Currently, only a few, flawed systems are in place. Support groups. General transgender support groups, in person and electronic, currently serve as a catch all place where transgender people can and do bring and air their stories of family and friend abandonments, street harassments, restroom struggles, and police maltreatment. Yet telling these stories is not always very healing, and some participants claim the sheer numbers and pervasiveness of such stories can lend a negative, defeatist tone to the group. Such groups are rarely run by trained therapists, and even the facilitators who are qualified may not do therapeutic work in such settings, believing it to be inappropriate or ineffective. Page 5

6 Law enforcement. When abusive or violent action against transgender elders does rise to legal thresholds, many transgender elders will still decide not to risk further abuse or disrespect at the hands of law enforcement. Stories of law enforcement abuse of transgender people are rife throughout the community, and reporting the crimes seldom lead to even capture and prosecution of the perpetrators, let alone help heal the victim(s). Adult protective services and long term care ombudsmen. Adult protective services (APS) are civil agencies that retain social workers to investigate charges of elder abuse and provide services to victims. The scope of abuse APS workers investigate, as noted above, is far larger than the types of abuse covered by criminal laws and law enforcement. However, APS has no enforcement power of its own, is vastly overworked and undertrained, and probably has no knowledge of transgender elders and their needs. 2 Long term care ombudsman programs (LTCOP) are federally mandated advocacy programs for people residing in nursing homes and certain other types of long term care facilities. Traditionally victim oriented and empowered to work on more amorphous, quality of life issues such as respectful treatment and privacy, ombudsmen should be tried when a transgender elder experiences problems in a long term care setting. Yet less than 5% of the older population lives in such places, making this option open only to a few. Anti violence programs. More than 30 localities and states have anti violence programs designed specifically for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender victims of violence. For the most part, these services are remarkably trans aware and proactive. A list of them can be located at Their drawback besides not being ubiquitous is that they rarely offer long term counseling to survivors. They are, however, the place where elders who are newly victimized should start, as most will be happy to accompany him or her to the police and/or health care facilities, and to advocate for respectful care. Therapists. Surveys have repeatedly shown that transgender people have consulted mental health therapists at a very high rate, compared to the general public. 3 Yet many transgender people will not discuss abuse histories with the therapists they are seeing to obtain a hormone or surgery permission letter. Others note, some therapists were remarkably insensitive to the emotional trauma of sexual assault, or complain that therapists have inadequate knowledge of transgender people and issues. Self help. FORGE s sexual violence survey indicated that after seeing a private therapists, the most used ways survivors received emotional support were through self help or peer based means: friends, reading self help books, partners, internet or websites, networking with other survivors, group therapy, social support groups, and bodywork. Much more needs to be done in this arena. FORGE s Transgender Sexual Violence Project ( has begun this work, sponsoring a national listserve for survivors, web publishing some self help materials and survey results, and sponsoring multiple in person healing events in Milwaukee and around the country. Future plans include sponsoring an on line series of healing events designed particularly with transgender survivors in mind. Those wishing to subscribe to the listserve or be kept apprised of future online activities should send an to info@forge-forward.org. 2 Long time subscribers of Victimization of the Elderly and Disabled may be an exception, since that professional publication has published multiple articles about transgender people and abuse issues. 3 For example, 72% of 350 transgender people surveyed in Virginia had received counseling or psychotherapy. Page 6

7 Far more remains to be done. REFERENCES Cook Daniels, L. (2006). Trans aging. In: Kimmel, D, Rose, T, David, S, eds. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Aging: Research and Clinical Perspectives. Columbia University Press: Cook Daniels, L. (2008, September/October). Abuse of transgender elders: What can a minority teach a majority? Victimization of the Elderly and Disabled. Vol. 11, No. 3. Munson, M, Cook Daniels, L. (2005). Sexual Violence in the Transgender Community. FORGE. Multiple documents available at Xavier, J, Honnold, JA, Bradford, J. (2007). The Health, Health Related Needs, and Lifecourse Experiences of Transgender Virginians. Community Health Research Initiative, Center for Public Policy, Virginia Commonwealth University. Page 7