RMPS Making Moral Decisions Human Relationships Intermediate 1 and 2

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1 RMPS Making Moral Decisions Human Relationships Intermediate 1 and

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3 Summer 2001 HIGHER STILL RMPS Making Moral Decisions Human Relationships Intermediate 1 and 2 Support Materials *+,-./

4 CONTENTS 1. Tutor s Guide 2. Student's Guide 3. Moral Stances Religious Authority Egoism Utilitarianism Things to discuss and write about 4. Marriage/Alternatives to Marriage Background information Christian views Alternatives to marriage Christian views Egoism Utilitarianism Things to discuss and write about 5. Divorce Background information Christian views Egoism Utilitarianism Things to discuss and write about 6. Sexual Behaviour Background information Christian views Contraception Homosexuality Egoism Utilitarianism Things to discuss and write about 7. Resources RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 1

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6 1. TUTOR S GUIDE The unit, Making Moral Decisions is designed to allow students the opportunity to consider and develop their own understanding of the common bases of morality. Morals are the end result of a collection of factors, religious, social and psychological. Students in the secondary school are very much in the middle of a process of working out the bases for their own developing morality. This will doubtless be less than fully formed and not always entirely systematic. The teacher's role is to develop in the student the necessary intellectual and particularly critical tools to enable them to cope more effectively with the demands of making moral decisions. Morality involves tensions. Conclusions are the end result of much reflection and consideration as well as the weighing up of numerous possibilities. The development of the skills of analysis and evaluation should therefore be at the forefront of the teacher's activities with the class, and study in this area of the curriculum should go beyond the purely descriptive. Conclusions cannot be reached until options have been explored. This particular unit at these levels uses common moral stances as checks against which moral decisions can be made. Students may not always be able to identify at the outset that they have a particular moral stance on any issue, but as working tools these stances at least open out for the student the multi-layered nature of moral thinking. It would however, be wrong if students were to pigeonhole their morality as a result of their study. For example, while individuals may generally base their decisions on their own interests it is unlikely that there is such a thing as a "pure egoist". Teachers should highlight the fact that moral decision-making is a many-sided process. Morality may also be fluid - there is no reason why someone may not base moral responses on egoism in one context/instance and on utilitarianism in the next. Teachers/lecturers should present a range of moral responses to each of the issues. As in RE generally, the search for a right response and the whole process of making moral decisions is as important as the conclusion reached. The aim is to allow students to make their own responses as far as possible based on accurate information and their own reasoning and reflection. The purpose of the unit is: to help students identify a number of common moral stances to help students develop an awareness of how these moral stances can influence the moral decisions that they make to help students develop their own conclusions about moral issues to help students weigh up the relative merits of different moral stances. RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 3

7 These materials are designed to support students working on Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships Intermediate 1 and 2. The issues that will be supported by the unit are: Marriage/Alternatives to Marriage Divorce Sexual Behaviour The relevant moral stances to be covered are: Religious authority Egoism Utilitarianism (Intermediate 2 only) The materials have been prepared with the intention that the moral stances will be the focus of learning and teaching at the beginning of the unit (Outcome 1). Knowledge gained will then be applied to the particular issues that are studied. In studying the moral issues students should be encouraged to engage in both analysis and evaluation (Outcomes 2 and 3). While at Intermediate 1 level students will be expected to be able express a clear personal opinion on the issue with two supporting reasons, at Intermediate 2 level they will be required to demonstrate awareness of both sides of the issue. Sources of information for students might include newspaper reports, information from relevant agencies/pressure groups, CD Roms, the Internet, textbooks, television or video, reports, publications and articles relating to Religious Authority, Egoism and Utilitarianism. Learning and teaching strategies will include the gathering and processing of information from a range of sources, class and group discussion, direct teaching, brainstorming and report writing. It may be a useful exercise on occasion to have selected students prepare a presentation on an issue or one of the stances for delivery to the rest of the class. When exploring the response of Religious Authority to moral issues these notes refer to Christian perspectives. Students are encouraged in the tasks to investigate Religious Authority stances from other religions and tutors are encouraged to introduce examples from other religions in their teaching. Unless specified, student information sheets contained in these materials are applicable to both levels. Student tasks can be used either as class work or homework to prepare for unit assessments which should be selected from the SQA National Assessment Bank or assessment materials which have been validated by SQA. Students at Intermediate 1 are studying two moral stances, namely, Religious Authority and Egoism and their response to Marriage, Divorce and Sexual Behaviour. At Intermediate 2 level they also study Utilitarianism as a moral stance. Intermediate 2 students are expected to be able to discuss both sides of the issues, while at Intermediate 1 they are expected to be able to provide an opinion on the issues and justify it with valid reasons. RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 4

8 2. STUDENT S GUIDE You are studying HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS as a topic within the Higher Still unit Making Moral Decisions. You will study three moral issues and consider how people who have a particular moral stance respond to these issues. The issues that you will study are: Marriage/alternatives to marriage Divorce Sexual behaviour Your tutor will advise you early in the unit whether you will complete the unit at Intermediate 1 or Intermediate 2 level. Candidates at Intermediate 1 will consider two moral stances, while candidates at Intermediate 2 will consider three moral stances: Intermediate 1 Intermediate 2 Religious Authority (I ll do what my religion tells me) Egoism (I ll do what s in my own best interest) Utilitarianism (I ll do what produces the greatest good for the greatest number) You will be expected to complete 3 outcomes: Demonstrate understanding of moral stances (describing moral stances and explaining their importance in decision making). Analyse moral issues (outline a moral viewpoint on the issue for each stance and explain how the viewpoint relates to its stance). Evaluate moral issues (express a clear opinion on an issue and justify it with supporting reasons). Assessment Intermediate 1 In the context of the unit you will be required to complete a restricted response which describes the two moral stances you have studied in approximately 100 words. You will also complete assessments on one of the issues. These will relate to analysis and evaluation. (Analysis approximately 100 words, evaluation approximately 50 words.) Intermediate 2 You will be required to complete an extended response which describes the three moral stances you have studied in approximately 200 words. You will also complete assessments on one of the issues you have studied. These will relate to analysis and evaluation (responses of approximately 200 words are expected). For the evaluation question you need to be able to discuss both sides of the issues. RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 5

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10 3. MORAL STANCES Making moral decisions is concerned with the PROCESS by which we make up our minds about questions of right and wrong. It is about deciding whether actions are right or wrong. Whatever the influences, the process of making a moral decision involves considering a number of important questions: How do I know if I am doing the right thing? Am I considering the interests of everyone involved or should I just follow my own inclinations? What values and principles should I consider (what makes one action right and another action wrong?) Every situation is different. A person may find it hard to apply the same principles in different circumstances. The same action may be considered to be right in one situation and wrong in another situation. Many of the moral dilemmas that people face are complicated and it can be difficult to know what is the right decision to make. Morality is essentially linked to the dignity and well being of the human person and in the course of everyday living human beings will be forced to make decisions which will have an essential moral nature: Should I have sex before I am married? Should I lie to cover my tracks? Does an unborn baby have the right to life? Should a doctor have the right to administer a lethal injection to a person who has asked to die? Morality is a fundamental part of human life. Making moral decisions is something from which a person cannot escape. What is a moral issue? A moral issue poses the question of what is right and wrong in relation to human behaviour. There are many moral questions which people have sought to answer in different ways. People have different opinions on a whole range of topics. The topics in this unit: Marriage/Alternatives to marriage, Divorce and Sexual Behaviour are all areas of life which give rise to moral issues. Moral issues affect us all. They are part of our lives and are often the subject of public and private debates. At some time in our lives we are likely to become personally concerned about particular moral issues through our contacts and experiences. Everyone is influenced in making moral decisions, whether it be their religious beliefs, what their parents tell them, social influences or from pure self interest. The central question in making moral decisions is whether or not a foundation, or moral criteria, can be found by which actions can be determined as morally good or morally bad. In other words what actions make us more human and why do they make us more human? In the course of human history various moral criteria have been developed to determine the rightness or wrongness of actions and this is what distinguishes various moral theories from each other. It is essential therefore, that students clearly understand the nature of the moral principles and criteria underlying the three positions or stances that they will be asked to consider in the course of their study. RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 7

11 Why should people be concerned about moral issues? We all have to make moral decisions. Ultimately our fulfilment and happiness depends on our ability to make the right choices. There are various influences which affect the moral decisions which people make e.g.: From an early age people get some of their standards from their families. Religion influences some people in their moral decision making. As they grow up people are influenced by friends. Gradually people are influenced by the media television, newspapers, videos. Many people are influenced by the books that they read. People can be influenced by computer games and the Internet. Some get their standards from cultural influences within school, organisations in the community or political groups. We should also recognise that the moral values we hold affect our lives and the lives of others in our society. By influencing people s views it is possible to make a difference to the kind of society that we live in. What is a moral stance? Philosophers and theologians have tried to solve the problem of deciding how to behave in a moral way. Over the centuries certain theories or stances have developed. These explain the ways in which people arrive at moral decisions. Moral stances describe the principles which people apply when making moral decisions. People with a particular moral stance have a framework that they can follow when they want to establish whether an action is right or wrong. Religious Authority, Egoism and Utilitarianism are all examples of moral stances. People adopting the same moral stance may not necessarily agree on a moral issue since they may apply the principles in different ways. RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 8

12 Features of the three moral stances that will be considered are outlined in the table below. These are neither exhaustive nor mutually exclusive. Students who take Intermediate 1 will need to be familiar with the first two while those taking Intermediate 2 will need all three. RELIGIOUS AUTHORITY EGOISM UTILITARIANISM Provides an objective basis for moral decision making Authoritative requiring personal assent Relativist and Subjective Individualistic Provides an objective basis for moral decision making Not based on selfish interest and sometimes requiring selfsacrifice Involves an external influence Based on personal benefit Based on the consequences of actions Requires submission to a higher authority Often relies on revelation/tradition Has the support of a whole religious community Often provides very clear guidelines or laws Sometimes can be open to different interpretations May be accused of being selfish Independent of any tradition or external influence Sometimes can be open to different interpretations Requires complex analysis to decide if an action is morally right Relies on the Principle of Utility Sometimes can be open to different interpretations For most people, making moral decisions is a complex process. Not many people are purely Egoist or focus entirely on Religious Authority or Utilitarianism when making moral decisions. For most people their moral choices will be based on a combination of different moral stances. Studying specific moral stances, however, helps us to understand the different ideas that influence people in making moral decisions. As well as helping us to understand how other people make moral decisions it helps us to think through the processes which we use ourselves when making these decisions. Religious authority People who look to religious authority when making moral decisions rely on the teachings of their faith. This may be communicated through a holy book, through religious leaders or some other form of revelation. They all share the desire to obey and be faithful to God. RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 9

13 The teachings of a religion influence a person s actions and how they respond to moral issues. Some of the most important religious teachings refer to how people should behave morally. For example, many of the parables of Jesus were designed to teach people what is right. A lot of the teachings of the Qur an are about morality as are many of the teachings of the Buddha and the great Sikh gurus. Much of a religion s teaching about right and wrong is to be found in its holy books. These sacred texts are considered to be sources of moral authority. Some people believe that the holy books should be followed without question while others see them as a guide for moral behaviour. Very often they contain direct rules about how people should live. An example of this is the Ten Commandments in the Bible. Religious leaders and groups often speak out on specific moral issues. They want their followers to know what their religion teaches. Sometimes they provoke discussion and at other times they clarify what believers already know. They want society to be clear about what their religion teaches so that they can challenge the views of society if necessary. People who follow a religious authority believe that their religion is in a better position to give them guidance on moral issues than anything else. They believe that it is better to follow the teachings of their religion than to follow their own interests and tastes or to look to the current views that are held within society. People who look to religious authority believe: Right and wrong is not just a matter of personal opinion. It is possible for people to be wrong in their moral judgements and on such occasions it is desirable that they are challenged. The personal opinion of an individual needs to be weighed against the teachings of an authority. This authority may be a religious text, a religious community or a religious leader. People should be humble enough to accept the teachings of a religious authority and submit their own thoughts to that authority. Moral values are supported within a system of authority which gives them added value and validity a whole community has been involved in the testing, development and preservation of the values. RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 10

14 Christianity For Catholic Christians religious authority comes from both Scripture and Tradition and the Moral Law. This stems from the belief that the Scriptures, as the word of God, contain the truth which God intended for our salvation, and that the vibrant and living faith of the Church (Tradition) is a true guarantee that the Church s teaching is in constant union with the deposit of faith. Scripture and Tradition flow from the same source, the word of God, which was transmitted to the Apostles by Jesus. This same deposit of faith is transmitted to the successors of the Apostles (the Bishops) so that when they teach (the Magisterium), they faithfully transmit all that the Church believes. This means that in a response to moral issues both Scripture and Tradition should be taken into consideration. Indeed, all sources of moral authority feed into a response which is based on one s conscience, properly informed by Scripture and Tradition. Within the Church of Scotland the General Assembly, which meets once a year, speaks out on moral issues and provides an indication of the views of those within the church. However, the committees which discuss these issues do not speak for all members of the Church of Scotland. Members believe that authority lies in the Christian Bible and its interpretation by the believer. Jesus is considered to be the Head of the Church and members look to him as a source of authority. As well as looking to the church to which they belong, Christians often look to other sources of authority such as: famous Christian leaders of the past and present; the Christian Bible, scholars and preachers who have interpreted it; and the writings of prominent Christians from the past. RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 11

15 Aspects of Religious Authority Consider the following strengths and weaknesses STRENGTHS Following a Religious Authority helps people to develop humility as they submit their own preferences to the teaching of a religion The teachings of a Religious Authority are normally intended to promote the common good and personal fulfilment The importance of the community is stressed The appeal to authority gives debates about morality a clear focus There can be certainty in responding to moral issues WEAKNESSES Different religious authorities can have conflicting responses to the same issue The freedom of the individual is seen to be restricted A few religious leaders may have a lot of power over how people make moral decisions Moral beliefs are tied up with a whole set of religious beliefs. If someone loses faith there is a danger that she or he will become confused about morality There can be a lack of flexibility in responding to contemporary issues RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 12

16 Egoism Egoists are people who believe that their most important duty is to themselves, and therefore that anything which they do should be in their own best interest in the long term. They base their moral decision making on what is best for the individual. They believe that their own well-being and health is more important than the good of others. As a foundation of morality, egoism asserts that the individual (Latin ego = I ) is the sole arbiter of what is right and wrong. An act is right or wrong only insofar as it meets the needs or desires of the individual. There is no referral to universal norms for behaviour. The aims and desire of all actions is the satisfaction of the self. Egoists try to work out what is in their own best interests. Their decision to act is based on what they think will be of most direct benefit to themselves. Different people will have different ideas about what is or is not in their own interests. It also depends on the situation at the time. What is right for one egoist may not be considered right by another egoist (this is ethical relativism). Egoism contains elements of selfishness. The selfish thing is to do what provides immediate satisfaction for yourself or to expect other people to do what is in your own interest. The egoist, on the other hand, will also look at long term self-interest. For example, if a child has been told not to take a biscuit from the jar in the kitchen, a selfish child may take the biscuit to satisfy his appetite. An egoistic child may think of his own best interests and refrain from taking the biscuit, thinking about the reaction of his parents and the possibility that he will never be trusted again. Egoists may also believe that what is best for themselves in the long term cannot be achieved by unacceptable behaviour such as cheating or stealing. They may think that it is in their own best interests for everybody to accept that cheating and stealing are wrong. The egoist may therefore support certain moral values which are common in society, but the underlying motive is not altruistic by supporting these moral values egoists can also be promoting their own best interest. Egoists may also be willing to work in co-operation with other people since this can be in their own long-term interest. For example, rather than selfishly using a car to travel to work in the city egoists may find that it is in their own long-term interest to use public transport and avoid parking problems in the city and reduce traffic congestion. RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 13

17 Egoism was a theory which was made popular by the philosopher Thomas Hobbes. Egoism believes that: A person s most important duty is to do what s/he thinks is in her or his own best interests. People are motivated by opportunities to obtain personal benefit. Being moral means doing what is good for me. It is only necessary to have a sense of responsibility for other people if it benefits oneself. For example, if one person gains a lot of wealth she or he may spend the money in ways which help other people if it will in the long term boost business interests or if it provides some social advantage. A person s basic duty is to obtain the greatest possible balance of good over evil for himself or herself. What is best for the individual in the long term may be achieved by promoting acceptable behaviour in society and avoiding actions that most people find unacceptable. RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 14

18 Aspects of Egoism Consider the following strengths and weaknesses STRENGTHS Egoism allows freedom to the individual Sometimes doing what is in your own best interests promotes the interests of other people as well People who are egoists should have less difficulty in deciding what they think is right Common sense seems to tell us that we should do what suits us best WEAKNESSES Egoism does not promote the common good Egoists may be able to claim that what seem to be objectionable actions are morally right (e.g. gluttony) What is right for one person could be wrong for another There is no sense in arguing about what is right it s right if it benefits me RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 15

19 Utilitarianism (Intermediate 2) This stance is associated with the British philosophers Jeremy Bentham ( ) and John Stuart Mill ( ). The stance suggests that the consequences of an action should be considered. People should decide what is right by finding out which action produces the greatest good for the greatest number. According to the utilitarian an action is morally right if it can produce human well being and happiness for the greatest number of people. The utilitarian believes that although his own welfare is important what matters is the welfare of people in general. Utilitarianism believe that it is right to act in a way that is best for a large number of people rather than considering self-interest or satisfying the desires of a minority. Faced with a moral problem the utilitarian will think, Will what I am about to do add to or reduce the amount of good in the world? Utilitarianism believe that: Individuals sometimes have to make sacrifices for the good of other people. Individuals and society have to work out what is right and wrong based on the likely consequences of each action. It is the consequences of people s actions which need to be considered rather than the motives. Everyone s interests should be treated as equal. No special importance should be given to the happiness of the individual whose actions are to be directed by it. It is hard to defend any action which has bad consequences for everyone involved. There are no absolute moral laws for all time and all people. Problems with utilitarianism: There is a problem in deciding how to measure the results of an action. It is not easy to predict what the outcome of an action might be. What you think might produce the greatest happiness for the greatest number might actually produce the opposite. Not everyone agrees on what happiness is as no accepted standard exists. It would not seem unreasonable to favour family and friends over the good of other people. Why should individuals bother working for the good of the greatest number of people if they may be made unhappy by it? RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 16

20 Aspects of Utilitarianism Consider the following strengths and weaknesses STRENGTHS Promotes community spirit by focusing on the greatest good for the greatest number and encourages people to consider the good of others Provides a basis for sensible discussion about what is right and wrong Encourages concern for others At times it promotes selfsacrifice because people are sometimes obliged to consider the good of others before their own It is a practical approach to morality where the consequences of an action are more important than the motive WEAKNESSES It can be difficult to work out whether an action is right or wrong if it depends on the consequences we cannot be sure in advance what the consequences of an action will be Utilitarianism goes against people s basic instinct to do what is best for themselves Utilitarianism makes arguments about moral issues quite complex People generally feel responsibility towards specific individuals and sometimes towards minority groups. Utilitarianism does not appear to account for this in the idea of the greatest good for the greatest number Utilitarians may be accused at times of doing the right thing for the wrong reasons RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 17

21 Things to discuss and write about in relation to the moral stances On what does egoism base its moral decisions? How does egoism differ from selfishness? Why might someone find egoism an attractive stance on which to base their moral decisions? What weaknesses are there in following egoism? What different sources of authority might a religion have? Why might people be attracted to religious authority as the basis for making moral decisions? What are the weaknesses in using religious authority as the basis for making moral decisions? According to utilitarianism what makes an action morally right? On what factors does utilitarianism base its moral decisions? What weaknesses are there in utilitarianism? RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 18

22 4. MARRIAGE/ALTERNATIVES TO MARRIAGE Background information In Scotland and in Western Europe generally marriage still remains popular with over 90% of men and women choosing to marry. The average age for women to marry is 24, and 26 for men. The main reasons for getting married are: to commit ourselves to another person we love for life to provide a secure and loving environment for bringing up children to ensure friendship and companionship through life. Until recently most marriages in this country took place in church. Today over half of all marriages are civil marriages and take place in a registry office. In % of marriages were civil and 59% were religious, that is conducted by a clergyman or other recognised religious leader. By 1995 civil marriage had risen to 55% and in 1996 stood at 59%. In a church wedding the priest or minister begins by explaining the Church s view of marriage that it is a gift of God and a symbol of Christ s relationship with the Church. The most important part of the ceremony is the vows when rings are exchanged. The couple promise to love, honour and keep themselves for each other till death. The priest or minister then says, Those whom God has joined together let no man put asunder. With this declaration the couple are now married. RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 19

23 Consider the following opinions WHY COUPLES MARRY Marriage means that two people are committed to each other for life Marriage is the way for a couple to show their love for each other physically and emotionally Marriage is the done thing Marriage provides a stable environment for bringing up children Marriage is a public declaration of the couple s love for each other Couples promise to love and to cherish... till death us do part in front of God To fulfil their religious beliefs e.g. arranged marriages People believe that sexual intercourse should take place in the context of marriage WHY THEY DON T MARRY There is less of a religious incentive today Marriage is not a guarantee for everlasting happiness Some couples don t see the need for a piece of paper to keep them together The love and support needed by children does not require the context of marriage I don t feel our relationship is less secure because we re not married Some people are afraid to commit themselves to one other person for life People don t believe in God or in the need to make any public declaration Living together is an excellent way to see if you are compatible. Then you can get married if you want to RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 20

24 Christian views Most Christians would agree on the following principles about marriage: that where a man and woman love one another and want to live together, marriage provides the best and securest foundation for a long and happy relationship that where a man and woman love each other and want to live together, they should declare their intention to stay together for life. One of the most important statements on marriage for Christians is found in the New Testament. In the gospel of Mark Jesus is reported as saying: In the beginning at the creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be made one with his wife and the two shall become one flesh. It follows that they are no longer two individuals: they are one flesh. What God has joined together, man must not separate. (Mark 10: 6-9) The Catholic Church The Catholic Church emphasises that God has called people to share his own life. He has called them to search for him, to know him and to love him. To make this possible He sent his Son Jesus into the world so that people could see what it means to be fully human and fully alive. In the Catholic tradition then, marriage and alternatives to marriage must be viewed within the context of the human vocation to share in God s own life and to share that life with others. God created human beings out of love for him and calls them to love also. This is the fundamental vocation. Human beings are created in the image and likeness of God who is love. In turn human love is a love which should be an image (eikon) of God s own love in the world. Jesus reveals the Father s love, and gives a new commandment to love as he has loved. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you, remain in my love. (John 15:9) Students should have the opportunity to investigate, interpret and understand the Genesis accounts of the creation of man and woman and God s plan for them through the institution of marriage, as well as other Scripture teaching on marriage. They should have the opportunity to explore and reflect upon some of the rich New Testament passages, particularly in the Farewell Discourse from John s Gospel, in which Jesus gives his new commandment to love as he has loved. The Catholic Church celebrates seven sacraments, two of which, in particular, can be called sacraments of vocation. In the sacraments of Marriage and Holy Orders the individual is called to live a life of love in the service of others. In these sacraments love becomes an expression of how Jesus loves the Church. In other words, the way in which a Catholic Christian lives out her or his sacramental vocation, should reflect the love that Jesus himself showed to his community. That is why these sacraments of vocation are life-long commitments. The vocation to love never ends. This is what is known as unconditional love, it is love fully human and fully alive. RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 21

25 Although there is no specific sacrament for people who choose not to get married, clearly, they too have a vocation to love as Jesus loved, arising from their commitment through Baptism and Confirmation. Choosing neither marriage nor the life of a priest or nun, they too have a moral responsibility in their everyday relationships with others to bring the love and care of Christ to others in whatever way they can. Their vocation is not as defined as the other two groups, but it is no less important in the eyes of the Catholic community. Marriage is a sacrament because it is a sign of Christ s love. The promises of the man and woman to pledge their life to each other until death parts them is a source of God s grace. The man and the woman administer the sacrament of marriage to each other with the priest and others acting as witnesses to the marriage. Because of their baptism, when a man and woman marry it is not just their own life they give to each other, but the life of Christ which is alive within them also. In Catholic thinking therefore there are four characteristics of married love: it is fully human, it is total, it is faithful, and it is creative of life. Christian marriage is a covenant relationship which mirrors the covenant relationship of Christ with his Church. The vows that a man and woman make are very important and so it is crucial that they are made freely and without reservation. When they consent to give themselves to each other in marriage they pray that their giving of themselves to each other will truly reflect the way in which Christ gives himself to the Church. Marriage is the way in which the husband and wife reach true fulfilment in, through and with each other. In this most intimate of relationships they form each other in the depths of their beings and become more fully human and more fully alive. The love that two people commit themselves to in marriage is an image of the love that God has for human beings. Married love is total and unconditional. When a man and woman marry they are no longer the same person because their love makes them, not two, but one. This love is ultimately expressed in the act of sexual intercourse which is an expression of their unconditional self giving to each other. In this context alone does sexual intercourse take on its most authentic and truly human dimension. This love is also exclusive until death parts the husband and wife and is possible through Christ who strengthens the man and woman in the sacrament of marriage. In unconditional love a man and woman vow themselves to each other with no strings attached, for better, for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health till death. Love is always life giving. It gives the man and woman new identities as husband and wife and therefore brings them into a new life together in which they become one body. The gift of children is an expression of this new life. A child is the fruit of this one body which the husband and wife have become in a unique way. In bringing children into the world the husband and wife share in God s creative power, they are co-creators with God. In this way the husband and wife share in God s creative love because their love has be open to the creation of a new person. RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 22

26 Students should be encouraged to investigate the marriage rite itself by reading the text of a marriage ceremony (e.g. a Nuptial Mass, a Christian Rite of Marriage). These provide a rich source of Christian thought and reflection on the important and significance of marriage. On his visit to Britain in 1982 Pope John Paul said of marriage: A man and woman pledge themselves to one another in an unbreakable alliance of total mutual self-giving. A total union of love. Love that is not a passing emotion or temporary infatuation, but a responsible and free decision to bind oneself completely, in good times and in bad, to one s partner. It is the gift of oneself to the other. It is a love to be proclaimed before the eyes of the whole world. The Church of Scotland In 1994 the Church of Scotland s Panel on Doctrine reported to the General Assembly on the topic of marriage. It stated that: marriage, with its privileges and responsibilities, is one of God s great gifts to humanity for the well-being of husband and wife, the security of growing children and the social health of the community marriage as an institution in which the love of God exemplified in Christ is earthed in human relationship, requiring from couples all the love, trust, forgiveness and faithfulness of which by grace they are capable stable family life is the most desirable setting for the upbringing of children. RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 23

27 Alternatives to marriage Although as we have seen marriage remains popular there has also been a significant rise in the popularity of living together. Cohabiting, as it is sometimes called, has become much more socially acceptable. Some people cohabit because they have experienced a failed first marriage and are reluctant to commit themselves to another life-long union which might end the same way. Living together is seen as a way of providing freedom for both partners to separate and go their own way if they want to at some point in the future. In % of divorced men and 26% of divorced women were estimated to be cohabiting. It is also estimated that by 2021 the number of couples cohabiting could nearly double from its present level of about 1.5 million to around 3 million. However, if two people have really loved each other, splitting up after living together may be just as difficult and painful as it can be for married couples. Other people believe that marriage is simply unnecessary. You don t need a piece of paper just to prove that you love someone, they would argue. Marriage may have been necessary in the past but most people accept today that marriage may not be the best way forward for everyone. It s just a social convention really and you can take it or leave it. Those who take this view want to see people who cohabit having the same rights as married couples. At the moment married couples are equal partners in the eyes of the law but those who cohabit have much more limited rights. This means they need to think about what would happen if they split up with regard to children, property and savings. Some people choose to live together in what they see as a trial marriage. The idea here is to find out if they are suited before they decide to spend the rest of their lives with each other. They can get to know the other person much better by living with them on a day to day basis. It also means they can share their resources and cut down on their expenses enabling them to save up for the day when they do decide to get married. People can love each other and want to be together but perhaps don t yet feel ready to make a life-long commitment to one person. To say you want to be with someone for the rest of your life is a big step. Christian views For most Christians, however, the alternatives to marriage discussed above are incompatible with Christian beliefs and values. For example, Catholic perspectives on alternatives to marriage would emphasise the importance of the single life, priesthood and religious life. In other words Christian commitment should be lived out either in the context of marriage, priesthood or religious life, or a single life in keeping with the teaching of the Church. All Christians, by virtue of the sacrament of Baptism, are called to be other Christs in the world. The single person shares this vocation with all other Christians. The single person is called to imitate Christ and thereby share in the essential vocation of being an image of God in the world. The single person has an important role to play in the world in which they bring their gifts and talents to all their endeavours. Indeed, the RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 24

28 single life, lived in imitation of Christ, complements the dignity of marriage and the religious and priestly life. Alternatives to marriage should be studied and reflected upon in the context of the Christian vocation to love as lived out in the priesthood and religious life. This should be studied in contrast to contemporary culture s alternative s to marriage such as living together or trial marriage which are incompatible with an authentic expression of the human vocation to love. In baptism Christians become part of the body of Christ and so all share in Christ s priesthood in a special way. The task of the priest is to mediate Christ so as to build up the people of God. Christ assured his disciples that he would not leave them alone in the world. On the night before he died he instituted the Eucharist in which he guaranteed that he would feed his people and after his Resurrection he commissioned his apostles to preach the Gospel and gave them the power to forgive sins. The Church has continued this commission of Jesus by laying hands on men and thereby imparting the sacrament of Holy Orders. A priest or a Religious (monk or nun) follows Christ in a radical way committing him/herself to celibacy for the sake of their people. The priest s task is to proclaim the word of God and celebrate the sacraments of the Church. Celibacy is therefore not a way of missing out on love, but a way of expressing the human vocation to love in a rich, though different, way. The task of the priest is to grow in likeness to Christ so that he becomes and mediates Christ for his people. Students could be given the opportunity to reflect on the challenge of the celibate life as life lived for the sake of the Gospel and of others, a life of service in imitation of Jesus who came as one who serves. A study of texts from the Rite of Ordination as well as input from a school chaplain or someone living a celibate life would help students to gain an insight into this way of life. Some priests are religious, but not all religious are priests. Religious are men and woman who have become part of a religious family (order) which has a specific charism (gift) which it exercises on behalf of the Church. This may be missionary work, teaching, medicine or the contemplative life. They vow to live a life of poverty, chastity and obedience so that they can be more fully disposed to live like Jesus. This life is most often lived in common and is marked by prayer so that religious life is a life centred on God in a unique way. The religious aims at a total surrender to God. There might be opportunities to investigate the different types of religious communities in the Church and the particular mission or charism they have. There might be one close to the school. They should investigate and reflect upon the vows of poverty, chastity and obedience as ways of expressing a unique commitment to Christ and the human vocation to love. A particularly useful way of investigating the significance and importance of priestly and religious life as expressing the human vocation to love would be through a case study of e.g. The life of Pope John Paul II, Maximilian Kolbe, Oscar Romero, or Mother Theresa of Calcutta or some other priest or religious. RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 25

29 Egoism Egoism believes that individuals most important duty is to do what they think is in their own best interests. Egoism is therefore likely to lead people to support the institution of marriage and to do their best to make it a success once they have made the commitment. Whether or not a church wedding takes place will depend on how the person interprets the desires of his or her future partner and family. Egoists may feel it is in their interests to go along with what they want even if they would prefer a registry office wedding. Egoism may result in individuals having difficulty committing themselves to a life-long relationship since they might regard this as an impossible demand. After all people change over the years. They might prefer to have the freedom to go their own way. They might meet someone else. Either way egoists won t want to be tied down by too many legal restrictions. They might at least want to have a trial marriage before making any final decisions. Indeed, Egoists might not see anything wrong with having as many relationships as they want, provided that they don t get hurt. Utilitarianism Utilitarianism believes in promoting community spirit by focusing on the greatest good for the greatest number and encouraging people to consider the good of others. If a person is strongly utilitarian therefore she is likely to be very much in favour of marriage seeing it as a valuable institution because it provides the best setting for bringing up children to be mature and responsible. She would also see marriage as having an important social function in maintaining a safe and stable society. Since utilitarianism also believes that everyone s interests should be treated equally she would also be in favour of marriage because it provides a legal framework for relationships. Only in this way can the interests of both partners and children be protected. What is the utilitarian to make of alternatives to marriage? Again, the principle of the greatest good for the greatest number might mean different things for different people. The utilitarian stance allows for a number of outcomes in terms of co-habitation or trial marriage. If a couple are not going to get married then they should live their lives in a way that gives them pleasure and happiness. If this means living together then that s fine because it will cause the least amount of pain if things don t work out for them. If people don t want to do this then they should live their life in a way that gives them the greatest possible pleasure and the least amount of pain. This stance means if they want to have as many partners as they want then that s up to them. This also means that if someone wants to be celibate then that s fine also, if that s what brings them the most pleasure and happiness and brings happiness and pleasure to others also. RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 26

30 Things to discuss and write about in relation to Marriage/Alternatives to Marriage What are the main reasons why people get married? Describe the marriage service from any one religion. Do you think it is important to have a religious wedding? Give reasons for your answer. Choose one Christian denomination and outline its view of marriage. Why do Christians believe that marriage is important? Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer. What alternatives are there to married life? What are the pros and cons of living a celibate life such as being a Catholic priest? How would you account for the rise in popularity of living together in recent years? Marriage is out of date. How far do you agree? In what ways might views of marriage based on egoism differ from a Christian view of marriage? What reasons might utilitarianism give for supporting the institution of marriage? Trial marriage is a sensible thing to take part in before deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone. How far do you agree with this statement? RMPS: Making Moral Decisions: Human Relationships (Intermediate 1 and 2) 27