Purity Tools. Resources and Tools for Leading Ourselves and Our Families in the Digital Age

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1 Purity Tools Resources and Tools for Leading Ourselves and Our Families in the Digital Age This is a brief set of tools and resources for people who want to strive for purity and effectively navigate 21st century morality. The staff at Woodcreek Church is absolutely committed to helping you and your family in this critical part of life. Please contact any staff member or a leader you feel comfortable with with any questions or if you can be of any assistance. Partners of Woodcreek Church: Purehope.net Local partners with Woodcreek and local churches in leading ourselves and our families in the digital age. This site provides the best resources available. Digital Tools Internet accountability and protection Safe Eyes: internetsafety.com Covenanteyes.com internet accountability opendns.com - protect your family or business internet connection at the root level myfamilywatch.com x3watch.com - accountability software for computer, iphone, ipad, other devices. mobicip.com for the iphone, ipad, Content Barrier: intego.com (internet filters for the mac) Counseling Haven Counseling havencounseling.com Stephen Ministry at Woodcreek Church Contact: sharon.spaulding@woodcreekchurch.com Woodcreek pastoral counseling: Men: scott.stonehouse@woodcreekchurch.com Women: sharon.spaulding@woodcreekchurch.com Celebrate Recovery (celebraterecovery.com) A place where you can find freedom from your hurts, hang-ups, and habits. Woodcreek - (men only): woodcreekchurch.com Chase Oaks: chaseoaks.org Richland Baptist Church, Richardson: celebrate-recovery.org Books Sampson and the Pirate Monks by Nate Larkin Purity Principle by Ray Alcorn The Social Costs of Pornography Princeton University socialcostsofpornography.org

2 How I protect myself and my family from internet related temptations. What we are dealing with is the problem of a culture saturated with sexual messages. This is nothing new to society - look back to Lot, the Romans, the Corinthians, etc. The first solution is to seek to deepen my relationship with Jesus to the point that I am able to walk away from temptations because of my love for Him. We need to give the best input and leadership in this area that we can to ourselves, our family, and our friends. As believers we need to be bold in talking about the issues - pretending that we are not at risk is passive and dangerous. Because of my commitment to Jesus I make arrangements in my daily life that help keep me and my family on the right track. You will come across those who will say that it is enough to be filled with the Spirit so fully that we are no longer tempted. While this is certainly a part of the process it is only the spiritual step. While it is important to know that God is deeply concerned about my safety it does not follow that I should stand on a high speed rail line expecting that he will save me when the train comes. I need to step off the tracks and move away and I need to help my family do the same. I hope that some of the solutions below with help you guide yourself and your family. People, like my children s friends or a guest, can come to my home and access inappropriate content through my wireless network. Opendns.com is a company that provides internet protection beyond your homes access point. This includes all access points, whether wireless or wired. It is an easy way to make sure that you are not creating a portal for people to access destructive material. The opendns solution is free and fairly easy to use. However, it does not currently work on ATT s Uverse system. Hopefully a solution to that problem is coming soon. My kids go to houses where there may be unsecured internet access. This scenario is extremely likely, but may be closer to your family then you think. Many first exposures to pornography happen in the home of a friend or a relative - especially a grandparent. Internet security is CRITICAL for grandparents and relatives to understand and act on.

3 Concerning allowing your kids to go to other homes where access is likely requires some research. Here are a list of questions that need to be answered. 1. OLDER BROTHER - does your child s friend have an older brother at home? If the older sibling is male and age then there is well over a 60% chance that pornography or its influence is present in that home. 2. TV IN CHILD S ROOM - does your child s friend have a TV in his or her room and if so is it connected to unmonitored access? Are stations which produce pornography, like HBO available on that TV? Does the TV have access to digital TV stations. Does the TV have access to movie purchasing? 3. TV in an unmonitored or under-monitored space - The parents won t be around for some part of the time your kids are at that house - the TV is often a sitter. Know the viewing content and areas. 4. COMPUTER WITH INTERNET ACCESS Studies show that it does not matter where the computer is in the friend s home, an unfiltered internet is highly likely to be used for illicit material. An unfiltered computer or laptop in the friend s room is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. 5. UNFILTERED SMARTPHONE IPOD, ITOUCH, IPAD, OR MEDIA DEVICE This is extremely common. If any of these scenarios and maybe a few more are true of your house or a friends house, you need to make a hard call. Will you be responsible for introducing your child to one of the more addictive and destructive vices or will you be selective about friendships. Your child cannot handle the temptation. He or she is not mature enough and likely won t be until much later in life so help them now! My child has one or more of the access points listed above. How can I protect her? BIG BROTHER - stay in touch with all of your children. Know their internet use and know what is coming across their phones and through their social networking sites.

4 UNMONITORED TV - Studies show that a TV in a child s room has several negative consequences. Take the TV out. But if you feel that it is best for your child to have that access then set up parental controls on all TV s and set use a password that they cannot figure out. Never make that password available because there haven t been any problems and she just needs to order a Disney movie to watch later. Make sure maximum movie and show ratings are set. Watch shows with your child to be sure that what they are digesting is leading them in the right direction. UNFILTERED COMPUTER INTERNET ACCESS - First, protect your access point with Opendns.com. Then, find a tool from the resources listed above to help protect your machines. Sometimes there is some hassle because certain sites are blocked that need to be accessed, but this can be adjusted and with a little planning can be easy to deal with. Don t be upset if you can t shop for bras online. It is worth the inconvenience. Again, never give your password away. Accountability for Adults - I have a trusted friend who has set up my internet filter so that I have no access without him. That way there is no opportunity or temptation on my part. UNFILTERED MEDIA DEVICES Protecting devices like Smart Phones, iphones, itouches, ipads, etc is simple, but takes effort and sometimes help from a knowledgeable friend. First, set the filtering settings on your phone carriers web site. Second, take any apps off the phone or device that allow internet browsing especially Safari. Many apps allow browsing, but do not publicize it such as the Twitter app from itunes. If you do not disable app downloading then a new unfiltered browser can be downloaded and your effort will be wasted. Third, Download and initiate a filtered browser such as mobicip from mobicip.com or find another. Fourth, Go to the Preferences app and choose the General tab then choose the Restrictions tab. Inside Restrictions disallow app downloading, set the itunes purchase rating restriction, etc. Fifth, Set a password that only you know. If you are leading yourself in this area then have a friend set the password. You will find that you don t need near as many apps as you think and whenever you do you can open the phone with the help of your friend and download to your heart s content.

5 SOCIAL MEDIA SITES Know your kid s passwords or at a minimum be friends with your kids and see who their friends are and what kind of conversations are happening. If you see something inappropriate talk to your child about it. Even read out loud what you read or ask them to read it out loud to you. Predators and inappropriate material can easily get to your child through Social Media. A Friend can have a photo album that is inappropriate among other things. Because we are following Jesus we need to starve the worldly temptations that so powerfully activate our sin nature. Gradually we will feel the freedom that fleeing from temptation brings.