Bert Logan s In association with NUMPTY S GUIDE TO HORSERACING

Transcription

1 Bert Logan s NUMPTY S In association with GUIDE TO HORSERACING

2 A numpty s guide to racing 2

3 3 A numpty s guide to racing HELLO THERE... YOU VE made it to the races! Thank goodness you re here, it wouldn t be half as much fun without you! If this is your first time, then it might all look a bit confusing... but don t worry, the hardest part of your day was getting here. Now all you need to concentrate on is having a good time. Racing has a unique set of characters, codes and even its own language, which can sometimes seem difficult, or even intimidating. That s why we ve put together this booklet, to help you find your feet. Have a look around and you ll see a bunch of different characters, who all seem to know what they are doing. There are the punters, folk just like you here to enjoy a day at the races. There are trainers of horses, owners of horses, there are jockeys be careful and not step on them, they re only little! Then there are the bookmakers but more of them later. Maybe we should have a walk around the racecourse, so you can get your bearings. Let us show you around...

4 A numpty s guide to racing OK, we ll try to keep things simple. Have a stroll along to the Parade Ring, where you can cast your eye over the runners in the next race and have a look at the smartly-dressed nervous types standing in the middle. Those will be the connections or owners of the horses. They ll be chatting with their horse s trainer and jockey, trying to look calm and confident, but give your neck muscles 4 WHO S WHO REFRESHMENTS

5 5 A numpty s guide to racing a wee stretch and you ll probably find they ve got their fingers crossed behind their backs. Check out the Winners Enclosure, where the triumphant horses like to pose after a race, allowing us mere mortals to look on admiringly. You might have noticed a group of characters, standing next to boards with horses names and numbers next to them. That s the Betting Ring, but I can t imagine you d be interested in that. What? You are? Oh, all right... but be warned, here s where the fun really begins! THE OWNER

6 A numpty s guide to racing 6 DON T go wagering all your worldly goods on a three-legged donkey from Blackpool beach, just because it looks a little bit like your great aunt Jessie from Tillicoutry. But we re here to win! So we ll give you as many pointers as we can on how to pick a winner. But first... meet your humble bookmaker, or bookie, or turf accountant, call them what you will. THE NAG

7 7 Have a look at their boards and you will see the runners in the next race. Next to the names will be the odds that bookie is offering on each horse. They re a bit like those waiters you see when you re on holiday, standing outside their restaurants, trying to entice you in. Your task is to find the bookie offering the best odds on your horse, but first we have to know how to pick one. A numpty s guide to racing Bert Logan THE BOOKIE

8 A numpty s guide to racing 8 STARS OF THE SHOW IT is my great pleasure to introduce you to the thoroughbred racehorse. Don t worry, if they seem a bit snooty... that s because they are! You are looking at the result of 300 years of meticulous breeding to try to refine and perfect the thoroughbred breed. This lot have a pedigree longer than the Clyde and they know it! A racehorse will usually make its racing debut as a two-year-old on the Flat and around the age of four over jumps. Thoroughbred racehorses come in many shapes and sizes, some of which suit particular types of races. Just like different human body shapes are suited to different sports. Some horses have great stamina and

9 9 A numpty s guide to racing are known as stayers, as they run in longer races and stay the distance, a bit like your 10km or marathon runners at the Olympics. Others can blast off at an incredible pace and run in shorter sprints. Horseracing is generally split into two groups: horses who jump (National Hunt) and those who don t jump (The Flat). You can see both in Scotland at different times of the year. THE THOROUGHBRED

10 A numpty s guide to racing 10 READY, STEADY... NATIONAL HUNT THERE are two main types of National Hunt races: steeplechase and hurdle. In a steeplechase the horses have to jump over high fences. Good steeplechasers and their jockeys are the bravest souls on the racecourse and they have to time each great leap with precision if they are to hang on until the end. Hurdles are the smaller obstacles that you see on the course. Unlike the tougher, higher fences in a steeplechase, hurdles are usually made from brush. Horses that run over hurdles have often ran on the Flat previously. National Hunt horses usually have longer careers than their counterparts on the Flat. For one reason the males usually don t have a future at stud since

11 11 A numpty s guide to racing most of them have been gelded. Horses are not so keen on jumping over those fences when they have sensitive body parts dangling below! THE FLAT FLAT racing is the sport of Kings, where the most expensive horses, with the best breeding, compete for the greatest prizes. The classic races that make up the Triple Crown in the UK are raced on the Flat by three-year-old horses over three distances. The highlight of the Scottish Flat season is the Ayr Gold Cup in September.

12 A numpty s guide to racing 12 PLACE YOUR BETS SO how do we choose which horse to put some money on? You might like the colours of a jockey s silks, or maybe the horse has the same name as the nightclub where you and your sweetheart s eyes first met. But lurking within your racecard is a wealth of information that can inform your decision. Have a look at the form of the horses in the race and ask yourself some questions: Has it performed well in any of its previous races? Has it won on this track before or at the same distance as this race? Or both?

13 13 A numpty s guide to racing Have a look at the weather and the condition (going) of the track. Some horses prefer wet heavy tracks while others like a dry good or good to firm track. What going has suited the horse in the past? Does this horse fly round a right-handed track (clockwise), but stumble like it has four left feet when racing left-handed? How about its trainer or jockey? Are they on a winning streak? NOT ON A WINNING STREAK

14 A numpty s guide to racing 14 NOW head down to the Parade Ring and have a look at the horses before you put your bet on... and remember you are looking at top-class athletes. Does it look fit? Are its muscles well-defined, or does it look a bit flabby? If it s a steeplechaser, does it have a big strong backside to push it over those high fences? Does it have a big and cavernous chest? It s going to need a lot of lung capacity to stay a long distance. What mood is it in? It might be anxious and sweating, using up a lot of its energy. Maybe its coat is shiny, with its ears cocked forward and its eyes alert, ready for the contest ahead. If you ve made your selection, then have a look around at the different bookmakers boards and see who is offering the best odds. If you put 1 on a horse at 5/1 and it wins, you will get 6 back (your 1 stake and your 5 winnings).

15 15 A numpty s guide to racing Once you ve found the best price, get your money out, and make sure you know which number the horse is on the board. Get in line and when it s your turn tell the bookie how much you want to bet and on which horse. You can say its name, but most bookies prefer you to say the number.

16 A numpty s guide to racing 16 THE COURSES SCOTLAND is blessed with five great racecourses each with its own unique character. You can spend some great days and nights travelling to the races throughout the year. AYR Scotland s premier racecourse has National Hunt and flat tracks and hosts the gala events of the Scottish racing calendar with the Coral Scottish Grand National Festival in April and the William Hill Ayr Gold Cup in September. More than 20 million has been spent on upgrading the facilities in recent years, turning this into a 21st century racecourse which is a match for anywhere in the UK. Highlights: Coral Scottish Grand National, April; Ladies Night, August; William Hill Ayr Gold Cup Day, September. Website: Tel: Address: 2-6 Whitletts Road, Ayr, Ayrshire, KA8 0JE.

17 17 A numpty s guide to racing HAMILTON PARK This is the sole Flat-only venue in Scotland and you ll find racing here from May through until September. Hamilton has been staging races since 1782 so when you go racing here you re visiting part of Scotland s sporting history. The track has a straight six furlongs. Anything longer than that and the horses go around a pear-shaped loop at the bottom of the track, meaning the horses come back up the same track they went down. Highlights: Braveheart Stakes, May; Saints and Sinners, June; Fair Friday Racenight, July; Lanark Silver Bell, August. Website: Tel: Address: Hamilton Park Racecourse, Bothwell Road, Hamilton, ML3 0DW. KELSO This is rural racing in the heart of the beautiful Borders countryside. It s a jumps only track and races run from early October until the end of May. Known as Britain s friendliest course, a very warm welcome awaits.

18 A numpty s guide to racing 18 Highlights: Morebattle Hurdle Day, February; totepool Premier Hurdle Day, March; Buccleuch Cup Day, April; John Smith s Scottish Borders National Day, December. Website: Tel: Address: Kelso Racecourse, Roxburghshire, TD5 7SX. MUSSELBURGH Just six miles from the nation s capital, Musselburgh offers National Hunt and Flat racing in modern facilities that have been transformed in recent years. A day at Musselburgh is one of the great sporting days out in the country and proudly boasts of its Five Star status as a Visit Scotland Visitor Attraction. Highlights: John Smith s Cheltenham Trials, February; Edinburgh Cup, June; Ladies Day, June; Scottish Sprint Cup, June. Website: Tel: Address: Musselburgh Racecourse, Linkfield Road, Musselburgh, East Lothian, EH21 7RG.

19 19 A numpty s guide to racing PERTH Ahhh you become all wistful just thinking about a visit to Perth races. Set in the gorgeous grounds of Scone Palace this is the farthest north racecourse in the UK. If the weather is right then take your camera along because days out don t get much more glorious than this. Perth is a jumps-only track but operates mainly throughout the summer months. Highlights: Perth Festival, April; Perth Gold Cup, June; Summer Carnival, August. Website: Tel: Address: Perth Raccourse, Scone Palace Park, Perth, PH2 6BB. AYR PERTH KELSO MUSSELBURGH HAMILTON PARK

20 A numpty s guide to racing 20 THE A-Z OF RACING Apprentice: A young jockey, given a weight allowance against his more experienced rivals. Bumper: It s a National Hunt race, but there are no jumps. What? Yeah, just trust us. A Colt: Boys will be boys and this is a boy horse, up to four years old, with all his boy bits intact. Dam: Mind your language! Actually... this is a horse s mother.

21 21 A numpty s guide to racing Each way: It might win, or it might just get close. This way you bet to win AND place. Furlong: Races are measured in furlongs, which are 200 metres, or 1/8 of a mile in old momey. Gelding: He s still got his meat, but no two veg. Handicap: Higher-rated horses have to lug around some weights, just to even things up. Istabraq: Mention his name and seasoned punters go all misty-eyed at the memory of this three-time winner of the Champion Hurdle at Cheltenham. Jockeys: Little fellas, bright shirts, armed with a whip. Kauto Star: French-bred superstar steeplechaser who won five... FIVE... King George VI Chases. C est magnifi que! Loser: Head to the toilets. Look in the mirror. At some point today, you re going to be a loser. Don t worry, everybody s doing it. Maiden: A lady in distress, locked in a tower, waiting to be rescued by a handsome prince. Alternatively... a horse that has never won a race.

22 A numpty s guide to racing 22 Nap: Oh a quick 40 winks would be lovely, but I m busy checking out this tipster s bet of the day! On The Nose: No each-way bets for us. This is a big boy s bet... to win! Placepot: Make selections for all of the first six races. Get a place in every race, you re quids in. Queen: Famous horse owner often seen at Royal Ascot, rarely at Hamilton. Red Rum: In five consecutive Grand Nationals he won three and finished second twice, but would have been murder running backwards. Sire: Who s the daddy? He s the daddy. Trifecta: Think you know what you re doing? Ok, clever clogs, bet on the first three horses... in the correct order. Under starter s orders: Equine equivalent of On your marks, get set, go.

23 23 A numpty s guide to racing Vincent O Brien: Irish trainer of Nijinsky, Saddler s Wells and many more. Granddaddy of the global racing empire known as Coolmore. Widely considered the greatest figure in the history of horseracing. Zebra: Avoid putting any money on these stripey beasts that look a bit like a horse. Unlikely to win. Weight-for-age: Younger horses carry less weight to even things up against their moredeveloped seniors. Xis: So you want 6-1? Ask for it in tic tac. Go on, just say it backwards! Yankee: No, not an American! Make four selections, mix them together and you get six doubles, four trebles and a fourfold. Yeeeehaaarrrr! Z

24 A numpty s guide to racing 24 TIC TAC TALK HAVE you noticed any strange blokes waving their arms around, near the bookies? Be careful not to hand them a couple of table tennis bats or you ll have helicopters landing in the betting ring. What are they up to? Well, they are communicating to each other through a special bookmakers sign language called tic tac. Bookies have traditionally used this to keep each other up to date on how odds are rising and falling on different horses in different parts of the betting ring. Now you ll see most bookmakers have a laptop computer at their pitch and are busy clicking their mouse rather than waving their arms around. Here s a guide to some of the hand gestures you might see.

25 25 A numpty s guide to racing 2 to 1 5 to 1 7 to 4

26 A numpty s guide to racing 26 TIC TAC TALK 9 to 2 10 to 1 Odds on

27 27 A numpty s guide to racing 11 to 4 33 to 1 7 to 1

28 CREDITS Words: Henry McRae Illustrations: Steven Camley Tic Tac Illustrations: Damian Shields GIVE US YOUR FEEDBACK Please go to and click the rate us now logo