Working with professionals to bring families back together.

Transcription

1 INTERVIEW WITH DARRYL AND TRACY STRAWBERRY THE OPIATE ADDICTION EPIDEMIC AND THE RISE IN HEROIN ABUSE MESSED UP ON MOLLY: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE POPULAR TEEN PARTY DRUG VIDEO CONFERENCING, BUILDING BETTER OUTCOMES AND A COMPETITIVE EDGE WHY DO SOME PEOPLE BECOME ADDICTED WHILE OTHERS DO NOT? RAISING THE BOTTOM PARENTAL CODEPENDENCY HOW OLD IS TOO YOUNG? FAMILY MATTERS: COMMUNICATING CONCERN ABOUT ADDICTION TOUGH LOVE OR LOVE FIRST? INTERVIEW WITH BOB MOYLAN TO BE THE MOM OF AN ADDICT WHAT KEEPS PEOPLE STUCK IN ADDICTIVE PATTERNS?

2 Working with professionals to bring families back together. Hundreds of referral partners from around the country rely on American Addiction Centers to provide the perfect combination of evidence-based treatment programs and settings in order for their patients to receive the best care possible. With coast-to-coast facilities and caring, highly-seasoned professionals, American Addiction Centers is your ideal treatment partner. To learn more, please call Consultants available 24/7 AmericanAddictionCenters.com 2

3 A LETTER FROM THE PUBLISHER Dear Readers, I welcome you to The Sober World magazine. This magazine is being directly mailed each month to anyone that has been arrested due to drugs and alcohol in Palm Beach County. It is also distributed locally to all Palm Beach County High School Guidance Counselors, Middle School Coordinators, Palm Beach County Drug Court, Broward County School Substance Abuse Expulsion Program, Broward County Court Unified Family Division, Local Colleges and other various locations. We also directly mail to many rehabs throughout the state and country. We are expanding our mission to assist families worldwide in their search for information about Drug and Alcohol Abuse. Our monthly magazine is available for free on our website at If you would like to receive an E-version monthly of the magazine, please send your address to patricia@thesoberworld.com Drug addiction has reached epidemic proportions throughout the country and is steadily increasing. It is being described as the biggest man-made epidemic in the United States. More people are dying from drug overdoses than from any other cause of injury death, including traffic accidents, falls or guns. Many Petty thefts are drug related, as the addicts need for drugs causes them to take desperate measures in order to have the ability to buy their drugs. The availability of prescription narcotics is overwhelming; as parents our hands are tied. Doctors continue writing prescriptions for drugs such as Oxycontin, and Oxycodone (which is an opiate drug and just as addictive as heroin) to young adults in their 20 s and 30 s right up to the elderly in their 70 s, thus, creating a generation of addicts. Did you know that Purdue Pharma, the company that manufactures Oxycontin generated $3.1 BILLION in revenue in 2010? Scary isn t it? Addiction is a disease but there is a terrible stigma attached to it. As family members affected by this disease, we are often too ashamed to speak to anyone about our loved ones addiction, feeling that we will be judged. We try to pass it off as a passing phase in their lives, and some people hide their head in the sand until it becomes very apparent such as through an arrest, getting thrown out of school or even worse an overdose, that we realize the true extent of their addiction. I know that many of you who are reading this now are frantic that their loved one has been arrested. No parent ever wants to see his or her child arrested or put in jail, but this may be your opportunity to save your child or loved one s life. They are more apt to listen to you now than they were before, when whatever you said may have fallen on deaf ears. This is the point where you know your loved one needs help, but you don t know where to begin. I have compiled this informative magazine to try to take that fear and anxiety away from you and let you know there are many options to choose from. There are Psychologists and Psychiatrists that specialize in treating people with addictions. There are Education Consultants that will work with you to figure out what your loved ones needs are and come up with the best plan for them. There are Interventionists who will hold an intervention and try to convince your loved one that they need help. There are detox centers that provide medical supervision to help them through the withdrawal process, There are Transport Services that will scoop up your resistant loved one (under 18 yrs. old) and bring them to the facility you have chosen. There are long term Residential Programs (sometimes a year and longer) as well as short term programs (30-90 days), there are Therapeutic Boarding Schools, Wilderness programs, Extended Living and there are Sober Living Housing where they can work, go to meetings and be accountable for staying clean. Many times a Criminal Attorney will try to work out a deal with the court to allow your child or loved one to seek treatment as an alternative to jail. I know how overwhelming this period can be for you and I urge every parent or relative of an addict to get some help for yourself. There are many groups that can help you. There is Al-Anon, Alateen (for teenagers), Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon and more. This is a disease that affects the whole family, not just the parents. These groups allow you to share your thoughts and feelings. As anonymous groups, your anonymity is protected. Anything said within those walls are not shared with anyone outside the room. You share only your first name, not your last name. This is a wonderful way for you to be able to openly convey what has been happening in your life as well as hearing other people share their stories. You will find that the faces are different but the stories are all too similar. You will also be quite surprised to see how many families are affected by drug and alcohol addiction. Addiction knows no race or religion; it affects the wealthy as well as the poor, the highly educated, old, young-it MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. This magazine is dedicated to my son Steven who graduated with top honors from University of Central Florida. He graduated with a degree in Psychology, and was going for his Masters in Applied Behavioral Therapy. He was a highly intelligent, sensitive young man who helped many people get their lives on the right course. He could have accomplished whatever he set his mind out to do. Unfortunately, after graduating from college he tried a drug that was offered to him not realizing how addictive it was and the power it would have over him. My son was 7 months clean when he relapsed and died of a drug overdose. I hope this magazine helps you find the right treatment for your loved one. They have a disease and like all diseases, you try to find the best care suited for their needs. They need help. Deaths from prescription drug overdose have been called the silent epidemic for years. There is approximately one American dying every 17 minutes from an accidental prescription drug overdose. Please don t allow your loved one to become a statistic. I hope you have found this magazine helpful. You may also visit us on the web at We are also on Face Book at The Sober World and Steven Sober-World. Sincerely, Patricia Publisher Patricia@TheSoberWorld.com To Advertise, Call

4 IMPORTANT HELPLINE NUMBERS 211 PALM BEACH/TREASURE COAST FOR THE TREASURE COAST FOR TEENAGERS AAHOTLINE-NORTH PALM BEACH AA HOTLINE- SOUTH COUNTY FLORIDA ABUSE HOTLINE AL-ANON- PALM BEACH COUNTY AL-ANON- NORTH PALM BEACH FAMILIES ANONYMOUS (USA) (LOCAL) CENTER FOR GROUP COUNSELING CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS COCAINE ANONYMOUS COUNCIL ON COMPULSIVE GAMBLING CRIMESTOPPERS TIPS (8477) CRIME LINE TIPS (8477) DEPRESSION AND MANIC DEPRESSION FLORIDA DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE FLORIDA HIV/AIDS HOTLINE 800-FLA-AIDS ( ) FLORIDA INJURY HELPLINE GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS and HEPATITUS B HOTLINE JEWISH FAMILY AND CHILD SERVICES LAWYER ASSISTANCE MARIJUANA ANONYMOUS NARC ANON FLORIDA REGION NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS-PALM BEACH NATIONAL RUNAWAY SWITCHBOARD 800-RUNAWAY ( ) NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE SUICIDE ( ) ONLINE MEETING FOR MARIJUANA OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS- BROWARD COUNTY OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS- PALM BEACH COUNTY RUTH RALES JEWISH FAMILY SERVICES WOMEN IN DISTRESS PALM BEACH COUNTY MEETING HALLS CENTRAL HOUSE 2170 W ATLANTIC AVE. SW CORNER OF ATLANTIC & CONGRESS CLUB OASIS CROSSROADS EASY DOES IT LAMBDA NORTH CLUBHOUSE THE MEETING PLACE THE TRIANGLE CLUB BROWARD COUNTY MEETING HALLS 12 STEP HOUSE SW 23RD STREET 101 CLUB 700 SW 10TH DRIVE & DIXIE HWY LAMBDA SOUTH CLUB POMPANO BEACH GROUP SW CORNER OF SE 2ND & FEDERAL HWY PRIDE CENTER WEST BROWARD CLUB For women by women CALL US TODAY! Toll Free: Admissions: waysidehouse.net Struggling with addiction? At the Serenity House Detox we pride ourselves on taking care of our clients like our family. We are a small private medical detox offering a peaceful and compassionate environment. Our clients will have the opportunity to take the first step in the journey to recovery in a safe environment. info@serenityhousedetox.com

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6 I was invited by Kim Koslow founder of Butterfly House, a luxury Recovery Residence for Women in Wellington, FL to meet Darryl and Tracy Strawberry for an exclusive interview. Longtime friends of Kim s, they were there to Bless Butterfly House in a private ceremony. Darryl and Tracy have both battled addiction for decades. Today, they are clean and sober. Today, they are ordained ministers and founders of StrawberryMinistries.org Strawberry, who helped lead the New York Mets to a world series championship in 1986 and the New York Yankees to three world series championships, is now dedicated to helping others avoid the pitfalls that plagued his career with the opening of The Darryl Strawberry Recovery Center. THE INTERVIEW Patricia- It is such a pleasure to meet the both of you. I want to thank you for taking the time out to give me an interview for my magazine. I know my readers are going to enjoy this. Darryl- It s our pleasure. Tracy- Your magazine is amazing. I was reading it last night and not only do you present resources but your articles are very informative and educational. Patricia- Thank you. I feel we need to educate families on all levels. I understand that you have opened some recovery centers. Darryl- Yes, we have one in Longview, TX, one in Orlando, FL and soon we will be opening one in St. Louis, MO. Patricia- What made you decide to open recovery centers? Darryl- I believe it is all part of the plan. Part of who I am and where my life has taken me. I became a pastor because I wanted to help people. That is what keeps me moving forwards now- helping people. I was approached by a company and decided what better way to help people than to help them overcome their addiction. Patricia- I also understand you started a foundation for children with autism. Darryl- Yes. It s called The Darryl Strawberry Foundation. Patricia- Do you have a child or family member affected by the disease? Darryl- No, but between Tracy and I we have 9 children. I once visited a school and saw the first hand affects of autism and knew I wanted to help somehow. Patrica- So you started a foundation? What does this foundation do? Darryl- Yes, we started raising money in 2006 and we have the first adult center day program for ages 21 and over. They can come to the center so they have a purpose with somewhere to go. We also develop programs that focus on special education, socialization, and independent skills training in a structured learning and caring environment. Patricia- You are such a caring person Darryl- I have a heart for people. I know what hopelessness feels like and I want people to know there is always hope and they should never give up! Patricia- Please tell me something about your Recovery Centers. Darryl- The Darryl Strawberry Recovery Center is located in St. Cloud, Fl. This is a 28 day, 12-step program. We detox from alcohol and drugs and we create a personalized treatment plan tailored to your overall health needs and addiction tendencies. We also offer a specialized form of addiction treatment and counseling for athletes. Our Longview, Texas program is a Christian based recovery program. Our therapists are Christian- centered and are trained in addiction, spiritual, and Biblical recovery. Patricia- I understand that Tracy works there. Tracy- Yes, I do Patricia- What do you both see happening in the country today with all this drug abuse? Tracy- This is a big problem that s happening in every neighborhood in 6 INTERVIEW WITH DARRYL AND TRACY STRAWBERRY By Patricia Rosen America. Darryl- Nobody is immune from it. Tracy- There is a whole new generation that are popping pills Darryl- and then shooting heroin because it s cheaper and easier to get.. Tracy- especially since they started closing down the pill mills. Patricia- How can we alleviate this problem? Tracy- I believe we need to educate the kids, the parents and the medical doctors. Darryl- We also need to educate the whole system. Locking people in jail is not the answer. Many times they come out worse than they went in. They could save time and money if they would place them in programs. Tracy- The problem is in jail they do not address the core issues. Many substance users have some underlying problems and if they don t get to the core of it, the problem will never go away. That s what we do, that s what I try to do- Get to the problem, get to the core issue. Patricia- And you feel if they get to the root of the problem it will be easier for them to stop using drugs? Tracey- Yes. There are all sorts of reasons people start using in the first place- broken homes, dysfunctional homes, physical and mental reasons. Whatever reason, they are broken inside and have these character defects. We need to help them see the good in themselves, to know they are worth saving, to acknowledge their demons and move beyond them. To know they are worth it. Patricia- Do you feel that 28 days is enough time for someone with an addiction problem? Tracy- No, 28 days and your still chronic- nothing has changed. I believe at this point you still need to be in a sober structured environment, like Butterfly House, working on more than not using drugs. You need to heal that person God created you to be. You need to find that wholeness. You need to address that great person inside. I think this takes a good 6 months, if not longer. Patricia- I can t help but agree with you. I see many young people in their 20 s and 30 s that have been struggling so long that it almost seems like they just want to give up because they feel their life is ruined. Darryl- Exactly, and we believe there is always hope and you can always turn your life around and do what makes you happy. You have to find that inner happiness. It takes work, but Tracy and I are here to help do that. Patricia- Thank you so much for sitting with me. It really was a pleasure meeting you. Darryl- Keep up the good work with the magazine. From left to right- Tracy Strawberry, Kim Koslow, Patricia and Darryl Strawberry

7 Pastors Tracy and Darryl Strawberry Give Butterfly House Their Blessing. Butterfly House wishes to thank our sister and brother, Tracy & Darryl Strawberry, for Blessing our home for recovering women on March 30 th. Your love and light still linger. Certified Member An Exclusive Recovery Residence for Women in Wellington, Florida Kim Koslow, lmhc, cap, ctt, bcpc Founder All young people deserve an educational experience that leads to an exceptional life. Allynwood Academy is an accredited, 12 step recovery boarding school for students in grades 9 12, providing exceptional college preparatory education with individualized platforms of therapeutic support and independence. The Bridge is Allynwood s premier college transition program. It combines personal guidance with academic, therapeutic and 12 step recovery support to help students ages successfully navigate the passage to college. To Advertise, Call

8 THE OPIATE ADDICTION EPIDEMIC AND THE RISE IN HEROIN ABUSE By Taite Adams If I told you that 2 million people were in the grip of addiction, nearly every one of you would nod your heads and agree that those numbers sound staggering and are probably right on target. But that s not exactly accurate. The fact is that according to Federal statistics, upwards of 2 million people are currently in the grip of Opiate Addiction and more than 12 million Americans admit to abusing Opiates. Every 19 minutes, someone dies from a prescription painkiller overdose. In fact, the number of painkiller overdose deaths now exceeds the number of deaths from heroin and cocaine combined. There is just so much of it out there. Because of the rising numbers of use, addiction, overdose and deaths, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have classified prescription painkiller abuse as an epidemic. Were Opiates at these epidemic levels when I was using them? Actually, no. I was having my own personal opiate epidemic at home as I spiraled out of control abusing prescription painkillers over the course of several years. I started out taking them for a legitimate, yet minor, pain issue, was hooked from Day 1 and ended up taking upwards of 30 Vicodin a day just to feel normal. I am one of those people who seems to be addicted to more and I pursued that warm, fuzzy feeling that I obtained from that first pain pill until it almost killed me. This is what opiate addiction does, and so much more. So, just what is an opiate for those who aren t in the know? They can be one of two things and in the end, give the same effect and the same results. Opiates can be natural or synthetic. Opiates by definition are considered to be the natural alkaloids found in the resin of the opium poppy plant. However, some definitions of opiates include the semi-synthetic substances that are directly derived from the opium poppy as well. As such, natural opiates include opium, morphine, and codeine. Other substances that are man-made are called Opioids. These are most used to treat chronic pain and include Vicodin, Oxycodone, Demerol and Dilaudid. In the end, they are all usually referred to as Opiates and are all highly addictive. One of the keys to understanding Opiate Addition is to learn exactly what these substances are doing to and for the user aside from their medicinal pain-relieving properties. Most or many people are looking for or appreciate an escape from reality and whatever it is that they feel is pulling them down in life. I know I did. It may be that they don t feel they fit in, aren t being treated fairly - it really doesn t matter. Opiates briefly stimulate the higher centers of the brain, giving the user an immediate rush of pleasure. The drug also depresses the central nervous system, bringing on a deep feeling of happiness. You may feel at peace with the world and forget about pain, depression, and even that you were hungry. It is a nearly irresistible feeling to someone that has been searching for some sort of relief, and not just physical relief. There is much more going on here, however. Opiates work in the central nervous system as a CNS depressant. While prescribed to treat pain, they do so by affecting the chemical pathway in the brain known as the dopamine pathway. Dopamine is the natural chemical in the brain that prepares us to experience good things like pleasure and a sense of well-being. This is one of the most important things you can learn about Opiates: the fact that opiates resemble natural chemicals that bind to neurotransmitters in the brain. What this means is that the body is already capable of producing these feel good chemicals in the brain to bind to its opiate receptors. Our brains are naturally capable of calling forth feelings of pleasure, contentment, relaxation and even pain relief. However, once we start putting something unnatural into the mix and bombarding our system with synthetic happiness, the body and brain forget that it s capable of doing this on its own and becomes dependent upon the unnatural solution for those same feelings. A solution that in time is going to stop working anyway. What we re doing with opiates is rewiring our brains and that is a scary proposition. 8 Use of opiates for a legitimate pain issue or a one-time experiment can turn into abuse over an extended period of time or in the blink of an eye. That feeling of relief that I talked about when using the drugs isn t uncommon and generally makes the user want to try them again and soon. Opiate addiction causes users to have a strong need for persistent, repeated use of the drug. This need is known as craving. Finally, attempts to stop using the drug lead to significant and painful physical symptoms called withdrawal. I remember both too well and don t ever want to go back to those days of craving drugs, having to use them just to feel normal and being constantly terrified of withdrawal symptoms setting in. One of the most disturbing and tragic trends with respect to Opiate Addiction is the recent rise in heroin abuse in this country. The number of Americans using the drug has increased by nearly 50 percent in the past decade, according to a 2013 report by the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMSHA). While I think it could have been foreseen, this probably could not have been avoided simply due to market conditions and the illegal nature of the drug. The rise in heroin use and abuse is due almost entirely to the crackdown in recent years in prescription opiate abuse. In fact, data shows that 80 percent of heroin users started with prescription painkillers. While many painkiller addicts start out thinking of heroin as a low class drug that they would never touch, the reality is that they are already addicted to a form of it. With new regulations and law enforcement making access to these drugs much more difficult, users are being driven to another opiate that happens to be cheaper, more powerful and infinitely more destructive. Always ready to oblige our hunger (basic economics), floods of cheap heroin continue to enter the country from Mexico and South America. Sometimes it takes the death of celebrity to bring the message home. After being sober for two decades, actor Philip Seymour Hoffman revealed last year that he relapsed with heroin after first taking prescription painkillers. He was found dead of a drug overdose on February 2, 2014, surrounded by over 60 bags of heroin. The fact is that heroin addiction is changing rapidly in this country, both geographically and demographically. When we think of painkiller addicts now, many times we think of a housewife, professional, suburban teenager and even the occasional retiree. Well, take that mental picture and apply it to heroin addiction. While we are certainly in a mess, I have found in my recovery that pointing fingers doesn t do much good. However, in the case of opiate addiction there are some who need to take responsibility for past, ongoing and future actions. These entities include big pharma, prescribing physicians, and even the FDA. While the FDA has responsibly just announced that they are moving to re-classify current hydrocodone products, such as Vicodin, to Schedule II Continued on page 30

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10 MESSED UP ON MOLLY: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE POPULAR TEEN PARTY DRUG By James G. White The song goes, A little party never killed nobody, but partying means different things to different people. For some people, partying is simply a matter of getting together with friends. They go out, eat, dance, laugh and then they go home. Time together is sober or alcohol is drunk responsibly. However, for others, a party isn t a party if it doesn t include drugs preferably one of the popular party drugs such as Molly. You may have heard of the drug before in reference but never understood who or what Molly was supposed to be. Molly is a slang term for molecule and it s considered to be the pure form of 3, 4-methylenedioxy-N-methylamphetamine or MDMA. Does that abbreviation sound familiar? Some suspect that a recent Madonna album took its name from the drug. You may have also heard about Miley Cyrus s drug references in her 2013 single, We Can t Stop. She and many others are dancing with Molly. What are the young fans who follow the lead of these stars really dancing with when they take this drug? The History of MNDA Molly is a synthetic drug, first made in Germany during the early During the 1970s, some psychiatrists began to prescribe it for psychotherapy patients. The most disturbing aspect of this decision was that there had been no formal clinical tests run as to the effects of the drug. Not to mention there had been no approval from the Food and Drug Administration. The drug was banned by the Drug Enforcement Agency in 1985, about the time the drug started appearing on the street. Today, it is considered a Schedule I drug, which is reserved for those substances that have not been determined to have any therapeutic value. What Are the Effects Of Molly? There are many myths about what Molly will and will not do to the people who use it. Molly triggers the release of large amounts of serotonin, as well as dopamine and norepinephrine. This results in feelings of euphoria and increased energy. A person becomes way more sociable and his or her mood gets better. The high is said to last several hours. Long periods of MDMA use are said to severely damage your serotonin receptors to the point of causing short term depression. After using Molly one often feels depressed due to the low number of active serotonin receptors. However, when one s serotonin levels are completely depleted, this depression can last one to two weeks. Additional side-effects include increased blood pressure, which can induce heart attacks in persons who have high blood pressure. It s also thought to contribute to seizures in those who are prone to having them. Debates Continue as to whether it s Dangerous Much of the debate centers on whether or not a good batch of MDMA is truly dangerous. There is also a great deal of discussion of the potential fatalities that could be caused by the drug. A few persons have reportedly died as a result of taking Molly, leading some to think the drug is lethal. The issue arises because Ecstasy, the street version of MDMA, is typically laced with other drugs or various substances. Molly, on the other hand, is supposed to be the pure version of the drug. Many teen users most likely to use Molly will naively assume the drug can t harm them if it s pure. There is no safe batch of Molly for this very reason. Molly or Ecstasy by either or any name, is an illegal drug. At the very least, selling and possessing the drug is risking jail time. Since it s an illegal drug made through questionable means, purity is going to be highly unlikely, and what one may be taking could be laced with something truly harmful. Molly messes with your brain, and its effects can affect you for your entire life. While people cherry pick bits of information to determine whether or not Molly is safe enough to experience, one must ask this: Are you really prepared to scar your brain for life for just a few hours of fun one night? Molly users tend to be young; the majority is between the ages of 16 and 24. It s not too surprising, since this is typically when individuals are at their most experimental and naïve stage. It s also when people are guided by a sense of invincibility, one that suggests addiction and drug-related death can t happen to me. The use of drugs like Molly for partying and having fun isn t worth the long term risks you could suffer. James is a content coordinator for Clarity Way Rehab, a holistic drug rehabilitation center located in south central Pennsylvania. VIDEO CONFERENCING, BUILDING BETTER OUTCOMES AND A COMPETITIVE EDGE By Alan R. Goodwin, Ph.D An OxyContin abuser in his early 60s scheduled an appointment with his treatment center counselor. But the recently discharged patient didn t have to take the day off from work and drive four hours into Chicago. Instead, the man in real- time was able to verbally and visually benefit from the center s tele-health program. These community transition sessions allowed him to better deal with the challenges of early recovery. At the appointment time, the counselor used his PC to connect with the patient whose laptop was equipped with a web cam. The software connected video call was fully encrypted, ensuring HIPPA compliance. The two could see and hear each other as they discussed the challenges of now being in the real world. The program reflects the center s determination to satisfy a growing demand for increased continuity, compliance and better treatment outcomes. Convenience and patient costs (transportation, time, etc.) are other considerations. The center is also determined to remain competitive in today s increasingly connected and techy world. 10 Tele-health has been described as somewhat like a return to 21st century style home visits. It is increasingly being used in certain areas of medicine such as radiology, dermatology, neurology, and other sub-specialties. It certainly has found acceptance in rural healthcare delivery but many also appreciate its potential in urban and suburban medicine. In mental health related practice, tele-health has primarily been telepsychiatry. Some individual counselors/therapists and psychiatrists have also used simple Skype-type solutions and have not, therefore, been sensitive to requirements and the functionality/workflow benefits of other types of video conferencing software. Others have turned to expensive legacy hardware and not been aware of today s cost effective and secure software solutions. In mental health treatment today, there are exciting, cost effective, and outcome driven tele-health applications. Mass General Hospital s Continued on page 30

11 Destinations to Recovery is a dual-diagnosis residential rehabilitation and treatment center for teens (13-18 years old) affected by drug abuse and/or mental health disorders. Our mission is to empower our residents to control their future and to build an open and healthy relationship with their families. Call for a free insurance verification Family & Growth Individualized personal and family therapy Regular psychiatric evaluation, maintenance and support Group therapy Experiential therapy 12 step integration Pre and Post planning and support Academics The Destination to Recovery Aspire Education Program WASC accredited curriculum On-site One-on-one support Virtual classrooms Credit repair GED and College Prep Life/Vocational Skills training Cheney Drive, Topanga, CA Toll Free: To Advertise, Call

12 WHY DO SOME PEOPLE BECOME ADDICTED WHILE OTHERS DO NOT? By Marlene Passell No one thing can predict whether or not a person will become addicted to drugs. Risk for addiction is influenced by a person s biology, social environment, and age or stage of development. The good news is there are treatments that help people to counteract the powerful effects of addiction and helps people regain control. According to Lisa McWhorter, Wayside House clinical director, treatments that are based on the 12-step program and provide approaches that are tailored to each patient s drug or alcohol abuse patterns, any co-occurring medical, psychiatric, and social problems can lead to sustained recovery and a life without drugs or alcohol. According to national research, the more risk factors an individual has, the greater the chance that taking drugs can lead to addiction. For example: Biology. The genes that people are born with combined with environmental influences - account for about half of addiction vulnerability. Additionally, gender, ethnicity, and the presence of other mental disorders may influence risk for drug abuse and addiction. Environment. A person s environment includes many different influences -- from family and friends to socioeconomic status and quality of life, in general. Factors such as peer pressure, physical and sexual abuse, stress, and parental involvement can greatly influence the course of drug abuse and addiction in a person s life. Development. Genetic and environmental factors also affect chances of becoming addicted. Adolescents experience a double challenge. Although taking drugs at any age can lead to addiction, the earlier that drug use begins, the more likely it is to progress to more serious abuse. And because adolescents brains are still developing in the areas that govern decision making, judgment, and self-control, they are especially prone to risk-taking behaviors, including trying drugs. PARENTAL CODEPENDENCY By Brenda Kuchinsky, PhD & Karen R Rapaport, PhD, ABPP One very common belief is that drug abusers should be able to just stop taking drugs if they are only willing to change their behavior. Those people don t understand that every drug that is abused affects the brain, which makes stopping difficult, not just a matter of willpower. This is why a good treatment program is so important. Through scientific advances we now know much more about how exactly drugs work in the brain, and we also know that drug addiction can be successfully treated to help people stop abusing drugs and resume productive lives. Drug addiction is a brain disease because the abuse of drugs leads to changes in the structure and function of the brain. While it is true that for most people the initial decision to take drugs is voluntary, over time the changes in the brain caused by repeated drug abuse can affect a person s self-control and ability to make sound decisions, and at the same time create an intense impulse to take drugs. And, said Ms. McWhorter at Delray Beach s Wayside House, as with other chronic diseases, such as diabetes, asthma, or heart disease, drug and alcohol addiction can be managed and arrested. Yet, it is not uncommon for a person to relapse and begin abusing drugs/ alcohol again. Relapse does not signal failure; rather, it indicates that the individual must get back to basics and work a 12-step program of recovery, ensure they are taking care of mental and physical health and, if needed, seek additional treatment. The success rate is much higher for those who continue outpatient services and ongoing group sessions. Marlene Passell is Communications and Marketing Coordinator for Wayside House. Wayside House is a 40-year-old drug and alcohol abuse treatment program in Delray Beach for women, by women. It includes 90-day inpatient, as well as intensive outpatient and other services. Call for more information or go to Adolescent addiction affects the dependent person but also the family, the educational and social environment, and the community. A drug dependent teenager may act as if he is functioning in a vacuum but his behavior has significant repercussions, not foreseen by the addicted person but clearly felt by others on occasions when behavior is erratic, withdrawn, aggressive, or criminal. Parental codependency is a common side effect of an adolescent s addiction. Two driving factors in parental codependency are denial and natural parental feelings. A parent typically does not want to see the child s problematic behavior and so throws money, rides, and other forms of support at the problem, hoping it will disappear. Parents also typically want to nurture their child. They may continue to negatively support the addicted adolescent by providing money, rides, and covering for the child thus making it easier to continue using. Parents who are codependent on their teen/adult children often play para-alcoholic roles in the family system. This entails their often unwitting support of the addictive behavior via compulsively rescuing the teen/adult child, or enabling the addict to continue using their drug(s) of choice. Roles that are para-alcoholic, or enabling, include caretaking, martyrdom, over-control, or over-responsibility. It is important to note that the codependent person has not evolved in a vacuum. In my practice, I have often pointed out to codependent parents that their patterns may have originated in their family of origin and then continued with spouses or partners. Parental codependency does not spring full grown with the advent of the drug dependent child. This reactive behavior has been part of the parent s repertoire for quite some time. Codependency means making the relationship more important to you than you are to yourself. A drug dependent adolescent will quickly become the center of a codependent parent s world with all the attendant anger, frustration, guilt, and shame that brings. 12 Such a parent may become completely drained with no positive results forthcoming from the relationship. Instead, the parent is caught up in an endless round of disappointments as the adolescent falls into a downward spiral that may have been facilitated by the very person who thought he was working for the opposite effect. There are multiple signs of codependency. A listing of typical symptoms may be helpful to parents struggling with these issues. Several symptoms cluster around poor boundaries, which encompasses not only permeable boundaries in relation to your body, money, or belongings but also in relation to your feelings. Under poor boundaries we can subsume reactivity, caretaking, and control. Reactivity leads to defensiveness because with poor boundaries comes the perception of people s opinions being a reflection of you rather than just an opinion. It is personalized. Caretaking involves poor boundaries as the codependent person gives up their own needs and wants to care for the other person. A third symptom of codependency stemming from poor boundaries is control. A codependent person needs to feel control by controlling others. Codependent people also suffer from low self-esteem and people pleasing tendencies. They have difficulty saying No. They want to be liked at all costs and communication may always be geared towards this goal. This need to have others like you at all costs, leads to dependency. Denial plays a major role in keeping a relationship codependent. A parent may blame the other parent, peers or circumstances for their teenager s addiction and be in denial about their own role in maintaining a dysfunctional relationship. They may remain unaware of the connection between addiction and family issues and the context within which addiction develops. Parents often remark in retrospect that it was just too difficult to face the truth. Continued on page 18

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14 Yeah, when he hits bottom he ll be ready. A user has to hit bottom before he will change. Sooner or later she will hit bottom. Then she ll be ready to get some help. Exactly what do I mean by raising the bottom? This whole idea of hitting bottom is out of date. Some people will wait years even decades- for their friend to reach this mythical point in their alcohol and drug use. But why wait for them to hit bottom? Why not help them by raising their bottom? There are ways to encourage someone to reach for help much earlier. In doing so, we can avoid a lot of unnecessary pain and heartache and maybe even save their life. For some people, hitting bottom will be six feet underground. I ll use my son as an example. Jake is a great kid, grew up in a Christian home, attended church camps and is doing well in college. He s studying and has found a major that he is excited about. He also works at a part-time job where he has recently been promoted to manager. We are extremely proud of him. But life hasn t always been this promising for Jake. He began his early teen years pretty much as I did. At age thirteen, Jake began to experiment with alcohol and pot. He did this in spite of the fact that his father was an addiction counselor (or maybe subconsciously because of it, since that would be a good way to rebel against Dad). Jake was also very aware of how genetic predisposition could play a role in his life, as he knew my own addiction story well. However, he made some wrong choices, which to me reconfirmed that there was some truth to the genetic correlation. At times he was out of control, and as a result he was often suspended from school. He got in trouble for fighting and pulling the fire alarm during school. He even managed to get a ticket for reckless driving in the school parking lot. He and some friends tore up a golf course one night with a 4 x 4 truck. He was also selling drugs. One night we had four police cars in front of our house when he was arrested, and they searched our house with a drug-sniffing dog. His probation officer came by frequently, and he had to take random UAs (urine analysis tests for drugs). At one point, he couldn t leave the house for several weeks because he had an ankle bracelet (a monitoring device on his leg as part of one of his probation requirements), so he figured he would sell drugs out of our house. Eventually the principal of his high school told him, We ve had it, don t come back. Right before our eyes, he had almost turned into a stranger. Jake was frequently running away from home and running from police. He soon found his life swarming with issues he could not handle because of his substance use. For a time, Judy and I were on edge, just dreading to hear the phone ring. Someone was always calling us about Jake. Although his police problems were not major, we did often have a patrol car in our driveway. It was great excitement for the neighbors! We had many sleepless nights worried about our son s safety. At least four of his friends had been killed in alcohol-related incidents. How long was this going to last? How much more trouble could he possibly get into? This painful phase of drug abuse in my own life had gone on for sixteen years, which made me determined to help Jake all the more. I couldn t bear to see him go through the same thing I did. Judy and I pursued counseling, parenting seminars, and other resources for support. Most of our attempts did little to help. There were some very low times for us. During one counseling session Jake got up and stormed out of the room. Nothing seemed to be the answer for our son. Though we continued to try, we learned that this was not something we could control. All we could do was hold things together and continue to hope and pray for Jake. Addicts like me, and potentially my son, often need to learn things the hard way. Judy vividly recalls a time when Jake was about three years old. She was ironing and told him not to touch the iron that it was hot. 14 RAISING THE BOTTOM WHY NOT HELP THEM BY RAISING THE BOTTOM By Joe Herzanek He looked directly into her eyes, stuck out his finger and touched it. At that moment she knew this was not going to be an easy road. Jake was going to have to learn things the hard way. The Value of Pain Pain can be a wonderful teacher. Pain usually means that something is wrong or perhaps broken. Without pain, most people would have even larger problems. Pain is a signal that we need to do something different if we want it to stop. We decided to not rob Jake of these pivotal learning opportunities. We weren t going to lie for him, put up his bail, or pay for lawyers. In one of the seminars we attended, we were advised not to argue with our son; just let the consequences be the bad guy. When the police brought him home late one night, we let the law take its course. A traffic infraction while Jake was on probation had turned into a search, and drugs were found in the car. The officers told me what happened and asked me what I wanted to do. Jake was a minor, under the age of eighteen, so I was still responsible for him. I asked them what they would normally do if we had not been home. The officer told me that the normal course of action would be to put him in jail. I said, Okay, go ahead, and do what you would normally do if we were not here. I was told to pick him up in the morning. As parents, it wasn t easy to watch them put handcuffs on him and drive away. This would be the first of three incidents like this. Jake learned that we were not going to rescue him. From then on, we allowed the natural consequences be his teacher. For ten days in January, he was sentenced to wilderness work camp (unofficially called hoods in the woods), where he slept in a tent high in the Rocky Mountains. He later spent ten days in juvenile detention, and we didn t bail him out or hire a lawyer. All this was painful for him and for us as well. Jake didn t like being locked up, and he was beginning to connect the dots. But still, we endured a few more difficult years. Jake didn t change overnight and his problem continued to be a strain on our family. His problem was all consuming, taking up the majority of our physical and mental energy for a time. Eventually, Jake s substance use took its toll on our marriage, as we didn t always agree about what to do next. Judy was always willing to give Jake the benefit of the doubt. In an effort not to unjustly accuse Jake, she felt a need to almost be an eyewitness before she would accept his drug problem. Mountains of circumstantial evidence were not enough. I, on the other hand, looked at the situation differently. Although I wasn t an eyewitness, I was convinced that Jake had a substance abuse problem. This strained our relationship. Sometimes we were cold and silent, not communicating for days. How did we make it through this? We remained committed to each other and to our marriage. We attended counseling, seminars, read books, prayed a lot and just plain stuck it out, believing this too shall pass. Eventually it did. It s not easy for a parent (especially a mom) to watch her child suffer even when she knows it is exactly what is best for him. We believe the decisions we made concerning how to handle Jake s problems made a significant difference in his life. God was at work behind the scenes. Jake eventually graduated from a special high school, located in the Boulder courthouse outside of the juvenile court room. This school, Justice High, consists of kids whom many people have given up on. Their combination of encouragement and tough, structured guidance provides troubled youth with another chance. Jake played on the football team, graduated as class valedictorian and was inducted into the National Honor Society! Continued on page 24

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18 When should we begin to educate our children about addictive behaviors? I have been consulting with clients and patients for over 30 years in the field of health and addiction recovery. I can tell you that whatever issues you can possibly imagine have probably been discussed in sessions. And yet, I know I have not seen or heard all of what goes on in the lives of suffering individuals and families. There is always a new story and an old memory specific to someone s life that brings home the tragedy of chemical dependency and addictive behavior. In years past when I would consult with clients about how substance abuse or other self-destructive behaviors began those beginnings were usually predicable. Often it would begin with a few beers with friends on the weekend during the last year or two of high school. Maybe a keg party took place pledge week at college. Some clients would find it common to head to happy hour at the end of the day with fellow co-workers. Frequently men and women while in military service would begin regular alcohol use or experimentation with other drugs. The manifestations of addiction and abuse came a bit later with past generations then we see today. Now, when I assess someone 30 and under the saga expressed is often very different. Experimentation and abuse begins at a much younger age and with greater frequency. It is not unusual to find that many people began the use of alcohol and a variety of other drugs before middle school. That would put the age of first use under the age of 12. In my practice I am seeing more and more clients who began substance abuse between the ages of 6 and 10. Recently, I consulted with a client who related that their first use of alcohol began by age 5 and progressed to the abuse of other drugs by age 8. These incidents are no longer unique. They have become main stream in substance abuse treatment. It should be no surprise to anyone that children who are exposed to the experimentation of alcohol and other drugs are at a higher risk of becoming addicted and compulsive abusers in adulthood. That drug exposure includes the use of prescriptions such as central nervous system stimulants and psychotropic medications. Medications such as Ritalin, Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft and others seem to be more and more acceptable by physicians and therapists for use among children and adolescents. The brain of a child and young adult is still developing both anatomically and physiologically. The introduction of alcohol or other drugs either prescribed or abused, will impair development, alter brain chemistry and reduce receptor site availability. This chemical abuse will have a detrimental effect on the physical and mental health of teens and adults in future years. Overall health and well-being will be harmed. There is enough clinical and empirical evidence to bear this out. In a common sense society no 5, 6 or 7 year old child is on the street corner buying drugs, scoring a bag in the school yard or visiting the local liquor store to pick up a lottery ticket and a 12 pack. That child s first exposure comes by way of formerly abused older kids or foolish complacent adults. Alcohol use in some cultures is tolerated and available at any age. The use of drugs is glamourized and accepted in varying degrees in entertainment, sports, adult conversations and hero role models. That influence and education takes hold very early in a child s life. By the time we think we should discuss the harm of drugs and their abuse, in many cases the education has already taken place. At a very early age our children have been desensitized to the value of right and wrong, the value of life, the value of the worth of each individual and the value of their own life and self-esteem. These values are not relative or dependent on the latest whim of individual groups. These values should be the same for all of us. So what is the answer? Recently a law was passed in the Congress of the United States requiring auto makers to have all new vehicles equipped with rear view cameras by It was estimated that 200 lives were lost per year due to accidents as a result of a driver s poor rear vision. That is an enormous undertaking of time, effort and expense for 200 lives, granted all precious and valuable. I am not suggesting one more federal law. We have far too many now. However, tens upon tens of thousands of individuals of all ages die 18 HOW OLD IS TOO YOUNG? By Dr. Michael J. De Vito yearly due to alcohol and drug abuse. Shouldn t the same time, effort and expense be considered regarding these deaths? No government law or program will put a dent in this issue. We don t need another anti-drug coloring book or NIDA funded study. But we as parents, teachers, clergy, neighbors, caregivers, entertainers, sports heroes, physicians, counselors and anyone else who has some contact or influence with young children can have a major effect on how the young think, live and grow. Children are learning from us. We need to look inward on our own values and views. What is the quality of our character and our philosophy of life? Why is it the way it is? How do we conduct ourselves? Children learn from our first nurturing gesture and it continues through their life s observations. What they hear us say in conversation influences them. What they watch educates them. How we react to right and wrong enlightens them. What they see our state lawmakers and politicians approve of regarding drug acceptance desensitizes them. Who their heroes are and what they say and do affects their developing philosophy of life. How old is too young to begin the education of children regarding values, self-esteem, drug abuse and negative behaviors? It is never too young. The learning has already begun. We just need to catch up. Dr. Michael J. De Vito is a diplomate and is board certified in Addictionology. He is a graduate of Mansfield University of Pennsylvania and Northwestern Health Science University in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He has been an instructor of Medical Ethics, Clinical Pathology, Anatomy and Physiology at the College of Southern Nevada. He is the founder and program director of NewStart Treatment Center located in Henderson, Nevada. NewStart Treatment Center utilizes a drug free and natural approach to addiction treatment. PARENTAL CODEPENDENCY By Brenda Kuchinsky, PhD & Karen R Rapaport, PhD, ABPP Continued from page 12 Parents who enable their teen/adult children typically have many positive qualities as well. These include: high achievement, organization, selfreliance, attention to detail, excellent in a crisis, honoring commitments, reliability, and finishing tasks. They have leadership qualities, decisionmaking abilities, tenacity, high stress tolerance, and follow rules. Because of these strengths, the enabler usually chooses a career as a homemaker, or one that is in the helping professions. These careers include teachers, nurses, psychologists, counselors, doctors, lawyers, social workers, or clergy. Solutions for parents who enable include: I) Psychotherapy: Parents facing their own family-of-origin trauma and losses, as well as abandonment depression. II) Al-Anon and/or AcoA Support Groups: Parents learn the universality of their dilemma, trust of others, and eliminating selfdefeating habits that they d acted out with their children. III) Family Therapy: Psychotherapy with, or without teen/adult addict. IV) Detachment: Letting go of control of teen/adult child s decisionmaking process. V) Learning valid communication skills, ego boundaries, effective decision-making and values clarification. VI) Identifying cross-addictions, such as compulsive spending, shopping and/or over-eating. VII) Interoceptive awareness: emotional and physiological awareness, acceptance and change. Karen R. Rapaport, Ph.D, ABPP is a Fellow of the Academy of Clinical Psychology (FACLINP), and Board Certified in Clinical Psychology, American Board of Professional Psychology.

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20 FAMILY MATTERS: COMMUNICATING CONCERN ABOUT ADDICTION By Jane McGregor, Ph.D. MPH. PGCHE and Tim McGregor, RN, PG Dip. Are you worried about a family member with an addiction problem? In this article we focus on the small changes that you can make to better communicate your concerns. Sometimes the person with the addiction problem doesn t seem to care about themselves or anyone else. They may struggle even to identify their own feelings, let alone the feelings of other people. The inability to identify and describe one s own feelings occurs quite commonly in people who chronically use mood-altering substances (it is also recognized as a psychological syndrome called alexithymia). Another reason people with addiction problems lack apparent empathy can be underlying mental health problems. Conditions like bipolar disorder or depression may cause the individual to block out the outside world and the people in it. The individual may feel emotionally empty and consider that others lives are far happier than their own, or they may become highly dependent and look to others as caretakers to rescue them. So does addiction or lack of empathy come first? Research rather confusingly points in both directions. Evidence from studies of children who later developed chronic addiction problems suggests that loss of empathy often precedes drug use. There s also evidence that this loss of empathy is made worse by becoming heavily reliant upon alcohol and other drugs. Managing relations more effectively Here are five ways to managing relations with the person you re concerned about: 1. Step back before you respond your natural response to a person lacking concern like this may be a critical riposte. Trust that the other person does not mean to be difficult. Take time to think of your response, instead of reacting immediately. The more you can separate the behaviour from the person, the less likely is it that you ll view their words or actions as a personal attack. 2. Stop wishing they were different the individual is not irritating on purpose. The best way to see a change in them is to change your own thinking and behaviour about them. 3. Approach each interaction with an open mind really listen to what the individual has to say and remain open to their viewpoint. When people feel your support they will be more willing to engage with you. 4. Acknowledge differences in your points of view but don t argue an effective approach is to acknowledge their viewpoint and suggest that there may be more than one way to deal with the issue in question. This approach positions you as equal partners. 5. Don t be a difficult person yourself! It is easy to identify someone else being difficult, but how often do you acknowledge that you can be difficult as well, especially when you feel stressed or tired? Recognize what triggers your own responses. Take responsibility for your actions and view yourself from the other person s perspective so that you don t become the person that others avoid. Tips on better communication Addiction is an entrenched behaviour that differs in severity. If you notice the warning signs of any of these behaviours in a friend or family member, you may be hesitant to say anything for fear of being mistaken or saying the wrong thing and alienating the person. Although it s undeniably difficult to bring up such a sensitive issue, don t let these worries keep you from voicing reasonable concerns. Sometime people are afraid to ask for help. Sometimes they are struggling just as much as you are to find a way to start a conversation about their problem. Others have such low self-esteem they simply don t feel they deserve any help. But the problem will only get worse if it goes unacknowledged, and the emotional and other damage can 20 be severe. The sooner you start to help your partner, daughter or son, the better their chances of recovery. When you communicate your concerns, try to: Focus on feelings and relationships. Share your memories of specific times when you felt concerned about the person s behaviour. Explain that you think these things may indicate that there could be a problem. Express concern about behaviour but do respect privacy. Your partner or child may well appreciate knowing that you are concerned and ask for help. Avoid power struggles over behaviour. Don t demand change; avoid scare tactics, angry outbursts and put-downs. Trying to force someone to change behaviour when that person is not ready can make things worse. Do whatever you can to promote self-confidence and the belief that pulling off enduring change is indeed possible. Avoid prescribing both the speed of change and the solution. The pace of change and the solution must be determined by the individual. Don t become so preoccupied with the other person s problems that you neglect your own needs. Make sure you have your own support so that you can provide it in turn. Recovering from any entrenched behaviour problem takes time. There are no quick solutions or miracle cures so it s important to have patience and compassion. Listening and observational skills are two of the most important aspects of effective communication. Successful listening means understanding not just the words being communicated, but also how speakers feel about what they re communicating. Good communication sometimes entails looking for humour in the situation. Humour can be a great way to relieve stress when communicating. And be willing to compromise sometimes, if you can both bend a little, you ll be able to find a happy middle ground. If you realize that the other person cares much more about something than you do, compromise may be easier for you. Finally, sometimes it is necessary to agree to disagree take a quick break and move away from the situation. The table below outlines the different stances people commonly adopt, and is adapted from one of the bestselling self-help books ever published, Thomas A. Harris s I m OK You re OK. The position in the middle (shaded area) the I m OK, you re OK status is your best bet and the place to aim for. You re okay, I m not I m okay, you re okay I m okay, you re not Belief Your view is more important than my own, so it doesn t matter what I think. Belief I believe and act as if we both deserve respect. We are equally entitled to have things done our way. Consequences Consequences This person gives This person in to others, doesn t generally has good get what they relationships, want or need, and is happy to has self-critical compromise but thoughts. doesn t disregard their own wants and needs. Belief I believe I am entitled to have things done my way, because I am right. You are wrong and not entitled to do things your way. Consequences This person often upsets others and themselves, and often feels angry and resentful. Continued on page 22