Parenting Styles and Strategies for Socially and Emotionally Healthy Children, birth to age five. Aoife Magee, PhD Master Trainer

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1 Parenting Styles and Strategies for Socially and Emotionally Healthy Children, birth to age five Aoife Magee, PhD Master Trainer

2 Objectives Participants will examine Parenting styles and the related outcomes for children Family climate and how children are impacted Positive parenting strategies Community support for families

3 Reflection questions "Think of a family that you work with or know. What parenting style and strategies did the parent use with their child? How did the child respond? What short term or long term effects in the child's behavior or self-esteem might be expected?" Share with your neighbor.

4 Baumrind's 4 parenting styles and related child outcomes PARENTING STYLES

5 Family Values

6 Long term goal: Moral Autonomy Baumrind s parenting and teaching styles

7 Three Theories of Discipline THEORY PROCESS GOAL Behaviorist Constructivist Maturationist Molds behavior via rewards and punishment Helps children learn right from wrong through their experiences and reasoning. Believes time is the best teacher Obedience Moral Autonomy Individual Development

8 Diana Baumbrind s theory of parenting/teaching styles as applied to guidance theories. THEORY PROCESS GOAL Behaviorism can be AUTHORITARIAN. Constructivism strives to be AUTHORITATIVE. Maturationism can be PERMISSIVE. High in expectations but low in respect for rights of child High in expectations and high in responding to rights of child. Low in expectations but high in respect for child s need to grow out of or into a behavior. Obedience Moral Autonomy Individual Development

9 The rights of children are: to be kept safe. to avoid unnecessary discomfort. have their possessions treated as their own. to be treated fairly.

10 Most Positive Approach Balances rights of children with age-appropriate expectations and limits

11 The impact of family climate on child development and support for families in stress FAMILY CLIMATE

12

13 Family Climate Best predictor of child outcomes

14 Parent as Model Self-Care Stress Management Anger Management Co-parenting

15 Traits of Successful Families Positive Sensitive & nurturing Routines & rituals Family fun Problem solvers Work together Community/belonging

16 POSITIVE PARENTING STRATEGIES

17 Teach desirable behaviors through example. Most human behavior is learned from others (Bandura). Positive social interactions can lead to positive changes in children s thoughts and behaviors (Vygotsky). Children need to see these modeled daily: acceptance, kindness and appropriate expression of feelings. Discipline as Teaching

18 Guidance Based on Values Temperament Age & Stage of development

19 TEMPERAMENT AND GUIDANCE Temperament determines how a child reacts and how others react to her. Temperament is part of our personality and is present at birth. Temperament determines how a child reacts to stimuli (sights and sounds) and how he or she will regulate that reaction.

20 Flexible temperament Friendly and outgoing Adjusts easily to new people and new routines Accepts frustrations with little fuss.

21 Feisty temperament Reacts to frustration with tantrums. In constant movement Inconsistent routines such as bedtime and eating.

22 Fearful or slow-to-warm temperament Prefers to observe from the sidelines rather than actively participate. Will withdraw from or quietly refuse new situations and people. Mostly consistent routines.

23 Pathway of Self-regulation Initially, feelings are organized by the caregiver Then, feelings can be organized with the help of the caregiver Finally, feelings can be organized by the child

24 Erikson s Stages of Child Development Trust vs. Mistrust (from about birth to 12 months). Autonomy vs. Shame (ages 15 months to 30 months ). Initiative vs. Guilt (ages 2 ½ to 6 or so). Babies learn whether the world around them is safe and nurturing. Toddlers learn to define themselves as individuals OR feel shame about their independent urges. Children learn to test their individual powers and abilities OR feel guilty about the choices they make.

25 Emotional Competence Definition: Ability to express, regulate, and interpret emotions in yourself and others Examples: Able to use words when frustrated; can label emotions of characters in children s books Evidence Based Practices to promote skills development Model emotional awareness by noticing and labeling your own and your child s emotions Label children s frustrations Praise when children are being patient or using their words Encourage children s selfsoothing, such as with stuffed animals Support and sooth children when they are upset Problem Solve after both the child and adult are calm (e.g., think about other things the child might have done in a difficult situation)

26 Social Skills Definition: Ability to get along with others; including parents, teachers, and peers Examples: Able to take turns and play with other children; solving interpersonal problems with flexibility (e.g., I know, we can both be firemen! ) Evidence Based Practices to promote skills development Model interpersonal skills, such as sharing and interpersonal problem solving. Coach children in problem solving and taking the perspective of others Praise children s appropriate social behavior, such as sharing or waiting a turn Play with children and monitor their play with others to ensure success, scaffolding when necessary

27 Supporting Early Learning Self-Control Help children learn to sooth themselves Teach acceptable behaviors and how to manage emotions Teach children limits and boundaries Label and validate children s feelings Self-Confidence Establish routines with children Do it again and again and again Let children be problem solvers Provide challenges Give children responsibilities Encourage then to ask for help

28 Foundation of Effective Guidance Positive Adult-Child relationships Consistent, well-trained staff or parent Developmentally Appropriate Practices Age, Individual differences, learning goals Environmental design

29 Early Childhood Guidance Strategies Support understanding of why behavior is desirable or undesirable Insure basic needs are met (i.e., physical & emotional) Model appropriate behavior Clear expectations in simple, concrete language Plan transitions High engagement activities

30 Offer limited choices Early Childhood Guidance Strategies Positive approaches to promote self-esteem and success Teach replacement behavior (i.e., use words vs. hitting) Support social-emotional skills and selfregulation

31 Early Childhood Guidance Strategies Communication I-messages Reflective listening/mirroring Problem solving Offer encouragement Use Calm-down time Emotion coaching Natural or related consequences

32 Tools to Support Challenging Behavior Some children need: Adult support during target times/areas Training & practice Reminders/precorrect for behavior Coaching through activity/event Encouragement/feedback

33 As a Community SUPPORTING PARENTS

34 Strategies with Families Be present Parallel process: PE/Parent & Parent/Child Modeling & information Mentors Assessment & Interventions Join family where they are Strength-based interventions Teach skills known to contribute to success (e.g. communication, routines, predictability, consistency, safety, positive) Encourage social connections/network building Family fun activities (home & community) Self-care & relaxation techniques Resources & referrals

35 Professional Action Plan Participants will make a professional action plan for how they will incorporate the authoritative guidance approach with the children they work with.

36

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