Dynamix Duo-Part One: The Art of Questioning

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1 By Dr. Jenny Hooie and Dr. Tom Fry Dynamix Duo-Part One: The Art of Questioning Questioning is one of the most powerful tools in a facilitator s toolbox. When used effectively, it can immediately shift a conversation from a debate in which group members are on opposing sides to a dialogue of deeper understanding. Appropriate questions enable a group to shift the focus from arguing what is right or wrong to engaging in a more collaborative effort that will increase the shared understanding of the entire group. When using questioning with a group, it is imperative to consider two things thoughtfully: the tone of the question and the type of question. Tone The tone of a question can determine if the question will be a positive or negative influence on the group work. A question posed in frustration, as noted by body language and voice, can completely derail the group conversation. While a question posed in a calm, inquisitive manner can have the complete opposite effect. Let s look at a few examples of questions in both negative and positive tones. This will help you better understand the difference between the two. Negative Tone Why are we even talking about this? What do you know about this topic? Why don t we vote and get this over with? Why did you even bring that up? Positive Tone Where are we on the agenda? I think I might be off topic. Who has had direct experiences with this topic? What process are we using for decisionmaking? How can we learn from that to help us better understand the topic? People respond specifically to tone and wording. If presented with a question that comes across as accusatory, people will likely take a defensive stance. Once the walls of defense have gone up, it is difficult for any communication to take place. Consider this story: Richard was working as a lead for a group project designed to improve acquisitions. At the time it seemed that conversations were going well, but the meeting was lasting longer than Richard

2 had planned. He was getting frustrated and instead of continuing the conversation, he turned to one coworker who was explaining her theory on streamlining acquisitions and he said, Why did you bring that up? We already decided what we would do. Immediately, there was a shift in the tone of the room. Not only was the coworker embarrassed but other coworkers felt too uncomfortable to say anything else. While the meeting was concluded, the actual paths of streamlining acquisitions was not fleshed out and very little changed within the company. Simply changing the tone of a question can be the difference between keeping communications flowing and having everything fall apart. If Richard had asked the coworker to explain more about her theory, the new method for acquisitions of the business could have improved. Type Paired with the tone of a question is the actual wording and content of the question. In order to support collaborative dialogue, it is ideal to avoid dichotomous (yes or no) questions that only require a single word response; and instead search for richer, more probing questions. Asking dichotomous questions is likely to lead to a dead end in the conversation. When people are presented with a question that they can answer with one word, they will not feel inclined to elaborate on their reasons for the answer. So, let s look at some examples of dichotomous questions compared to those that probe deeper and inspire continued communication. Dichotomous Questions Are you in favor of this? Do you understand this concept? Are we done with this decision? Probing Questions What would be one reason you would support this decision? What would be one reason why you would oppose this decision? Tell me what this concept means to you? What do you mean by the word? Who or what else do we need to consider as we make this decision? Do you have anything to add? What is your perspective on this topic?

3 Let s examine an example of this idea in action: Sandra was asked to lead a conference on how to use the new computer system implanted in her office because she was the head of the IT department and she was the most experienced with that system. After she completed her presentation, she moved on to the question and answer portion of the conference. At first no one asked any questions, so Sandra understood that she needed to prompt more conversation and began to ask questions herself. The problem is that she didn t know what kinds of questions to ask in order to prompt communication. She asked: Do you understand how this system works? There was an uncomfortable silence. It only lasted a few seconds, but it worried Sandra so she quickly added Are you ready to start the system? Seconds later, even more nervous, she asked Does anyone have any questions? The participants were thoroughly confused, not knowing which of the three questions to answer. Both the dichotomous nature of the questions and rapid rate with which they were fired left the participants confused on what to answer. The result was numerous mistakes that were costly to the business. As a general rule, you cannot expect a conversation to carry itself. Dialogue will die out once people are asked something they can answer with a simple yes or a no. In order to keep the lines of communication open, you need to focus on probing to elicit opinions, thoughts and beliefs. If you do not keep the conversation open, people may not thoroughly understand or they may not have felt they had the opportunity to ask and clarify.

4 Dynamix Duo- Part Two: Paraphrasing Paraphrasing often gets a bad rap. This is probably because we have all been subjected to the parroting type of paraphrasing in which someone says, I hear you saying and then recites exactly what you said. This feels false and can even be annoying. Unfortunately, this is the most common type of paraphrasing used since people don t fully understand how to use it correctly to deepen the conversation. In contrast, a quality paraphrase is a restatement of the speaker using different words. When possible, you will want the paraphrase to be a concise summary of the speaker. A quality paraphrase represents a synthesis of the content of the speaker in as simplistic a form as possible. For our purposes, paraphrasing is a tool used to develop a deeper understanding. When someone restates your point and misses an essential element, or gets it incorrect, most likely you will correct the person, often providing more information. As this process goes back and forth, the understanding of the group deepens. This is the power of the paraphrase. Unfortunately, it is an underutilized skill. How to paraphrase without being a parrot The most important tools for developing your paraphrasing skills are listening and practice. First, if the goal of your dialogue is to develop a deeper understanding of the topic, your listening transforms. You move from planning what you are going to say next to fully attending to the person who is speaking. If you know you are going to paraphrase, your listening automatically deepens. Once you have adjusted your listening, the only way to become more natural at paraphrasing is to practice. This means taking risks because it will not be comfortable at first and you may stumble over your words. The good part of this is that the speaker will probably not notice. People are so rarely listened to, that they appreciate even an attempt at paraphrasing because it gives them a chance to hear their thoughts reflected and then continue the dialogue. Let s look at some examples of paraphrasing: Original statement I don t think this new method of managing accounts payable will be very useful. It s going to leave too many loopholes and we have already seen how it has

5 let some bills slip through the cracks. We lost money last month on late payments to three vendors and our system completely lost one vendors account. We didn t know how to contact them, where to order from, or what we owed. They charged us a $75 late fee. Another company s bills were just lost in the system. Our accounts payable clerk didn t even know a bill existed. These kinds of problems will keep adding up. Don t you think it would be a good idea to do something different? Parrot Paraphrase So, I see what you are saying. This new method of accounts payable leaves too many loopholes and it has already happened because we let some bills slip through the cracks. We lost money in a month because we had late payments to vendors. Proper Paraphrase Ok, you have a valid point. If I understand you correctly, you feel that we should explore other options because you have seen some issues with the new system. You think that the errors it could cause are too costly for us not to look into something else, right? As you can see, paraphrasing the proper way is for clarification purposes, not to just repeat what someone else said. Paraphrase Starters It is essential that you listen and then give yourself a moment to develop your paraphrase. The pause gives you an opportunity to organize your thinking and prepare your paraphrase. Give yourself the gift of time to properly construct your paraphrase. The speaker will not mind the pause, as they will be able to tell that you are processing what they have just said. Taking your time will prevent you from simply repeating the speaker in a one-on-one dialogue or a meeting and improve the quality of your paraphrase. Taking this pause indicates that you are listening and naturally slows the dialogue. That is a good thing because the other person will feel appreciated for what they have said. The pause can even become contagious and encourage others to take time to think before speaking. Here are some paraphrase starters that you could use in your own dialogues: You think that You feel that You are concerned about It sounds like

6 You would like A goal we have is Our group focus is It seems our main issue is If I understand you correctly Paraphrasing is a critical aspect of communicating, but is rarely taught. It will take some time and authentic practice to increase your comfort using paraphrasing. However, those who use paraphrasing effectively will find their communications much improved. References: Garmston, R. J. (2008). Raise the level of conversation by using paraphrasing as a listening tool. National Staff Development Council. Retrieved from: armston.doc Leonard, I. (n.d.). The art of effective questioning: Asking the right question for the desired result. Retrieved from: Purdue University. (n.d.). Paraphrase: Write it in your own words. Retrieved from: Treadwell, D. (2013). Introducing Communication Research: Paths of Inquiry. Sage Publications, CA: Los Angeles. Watson, Stephanie. (2014). 10 Tips for effective workplace communication. Retrieved from: Dr. Jenny Hooie: jen@dynamixllc.org Dr. Tom Fry: tom@dynamixllc.org