PAUL CHANNING, 30 s,lawyer, is driving and talking on his BLUETOOTH.

Transcription

1 FADE IN: INT/EXT. CAR - DAY CHANNING, 30 s,lawyer, is driving and talking on his BLUETOOTH. Denny, hey it s Paul...I m good...hey the reason I m calling is Natalie, Maddie and I are going out of town for Natalie s brother s wedding. We ll be back Sunday. Do you think you could drop by the house and feed the dog and let her out Saturday? Great, I ll leave a key for you under the frog in the flower bed...it s in front of the house. Thanks again man. Alright. Bye. pulls into his driveway. He lives in an upscale neighborhood. His home is large and well manicured. exits the car and walks to the front door. INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY Hello, I m home. (O.S.) Hey sweetie. Hi daddy. MADDIE Hi sweetheart. loosens his tie and watches MADDIE, 4 years old, playing with her Barbie Dolls on the floor. (CONT'D) So how was daddy s girl today? Good. MADDIE, 30 s, attractive, walks into the room holding a tiny black Yorkie-Poo. She kisses Paul.

2 2. Hi babe, we re all packed. Great. We should probably get going... Oh, I called Denny, he s going to come over and feed Hannah Saturday. Oh sweetie Denny? I don t know, we should probably ask someone else. What s wrong with Denny? Nothing s wrong with him, you know I love your step-brother. But? But, he s irresponsible. I talked to mom, she said he s got a new job and he s dating someone now, he s settled down. It ll be fine. It s just one day. Okay, but he better not hurt my baby. kisses the dog and puts her in her cage. (CONT'D) Bye Hannah. EXT. HOUSE - DAY is helping MADDIE in the car. takes a house key off his key ring. He places the key under a small frog in the flower bed next to the sidewalk. A fluffy black cat is meowing at s feet. Shut up Cat! Go home.

3 3. gets in the car. is looking in the mirror applying lip gloss. (CONT'D) Did the Robinson s stop feeding their cat? Why is it crying at our door all of a sudden? Don t know. I hate cats. Everybody strapped in? turns around and smiles at MADDIE in her car seat. (CONT'D) Okay then, we re off. EXT. CAR - NIGHT HALL, 20 s is driving through s neighborhood with his girlfriend, and two friends and. They are driving fast, and it is apparent they have been drinking. Dude, check out these houses, is your brother rich? Yeah, he s a lawyer. Which one of these houses is his? I can t remember...wait, I think we just passed it. TODD slams on the brakes and throws the car in reverse. He backs up fast and pulls into the driveway. (thrown back against the seat) What the fuck dude, I almost spilled my beer. I only have 18 left.

4 4. I m pretty sure this is it.,, and all pour out of the car and walk to the front porch. and are each carrying beer. (CONT'D) Guys, look for a frog in the flowers. Why the hell are we looking for frogs, lets just go inside, it s cold. The key is under the frog. bends over to look for the frog and falls into the flowers. (CONT'D) Real Smooth! Get up you tool, you re ruining the flowers. Here it is. hands the key to and he opens the front door. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT They all look around in amazement at and s expensive taste. Ah man, look at the size of that TV picks up a picture frame on the table. Your brother s wife is a hottie. and plop down on the couch and turn on the TV Dirt and mulch from s clothes are getting all over the white couch.

5 5. My head is spinning, can I lay down somewhere. Yeah, in here. (CONT'D) Guys, we re gonna go lay down a while. Sure you re gonna lay down bro. Shut up. and walk into the bedroom and shut the door behind them. The bed is neatly made. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT is drinking a beer and flipping through the TV channels with the remote. Man, there ain t shit on. See if they have a Playstation or XBOX or something. I m gonna see if they got any movies. walks over to the TV cabinet and looks through their DVD s and VHS tapes. He picks up a tape labeled Madison s birth. (CONT'D) Dude, I got it. What? Madison s birth. I don t wanna watch any chickflicks.

6 6. No, it s a home movie, I guess it s their kid s birth. You re gay, I don t wanna watch that. Did you see that picture of D s brothers wife? She might be naked. She s not gonna be naked you jacknuts. She ll probably just be sweaty and screaming and shit. puts the tape in the player and opens another beer and sits back down on the couch. The movie starts to play, we see on the TV lying in a hospital bed. is taping her and talking to her. is breathing hard. (O.S.) Nat s contractions are very heavy now. How you feeling babe? Natalie nods and keeps breathing heavy. (O.S.) (CONT'D) Baby s coming soon. This is gay. Just wait. walks in the room and opens a beer. He plops down on the chair next to the couch. That was quick. She passed out. What the hell are you guys watching? Some gay birthing shit Troy found. He s hoping your sister-in-law gets naked.

7 7. Have you seen anything yet? (CONT'D) No, just your brother talking a lot. Oh shit, I ve gotta let their dog out. walks into the kitchen and walks over to the DOG in the cage. (CONT'D) Hey there, you hungry, huh girl. The dog food bag is sitting next to her cage. picks it up and looks at the label. (CONT'D) This stuff sucks, let s see what else they got. takes the DOG out of the cage and holds it while looking in the refrigerator. He sees a pack of Hot Dogs. (CONT'D) Here we go. He gives the Dog a Hot Dog. The DOG eats it in a hurry. (CONT'D) You want another one? He gives the DOG another Hot Dog, and carries it into the living room. (laughing) Is that the dog, that looks like a cat. Yeah, I just gave her some Hot Dogs. She loves em. You shouldn t do that, I heard that gives them diarrhea.

8 8., and are all engrossed watching giving birth on the TV. She is pushing the baby out. (CONT'D) This shit is sick. We ll probably see her vag in a minute. We hear the baby cry. Okay I m turning this off now. Man I was sure we d see some bush or some tit or something. walks up to the TV and turns off the VCR. INT. LIVING ROOM - SATURDAY MORNING We see sleeping in the chair. Many beer cans are covering the coffee table. is sleeping in the fetal position on the floor and is asleep on the couch, it is visible that he has peed his pants. The dog is walking around, and there are many piles of dog poop on the floor. walks out of the bedroom and into the living room. God, it reeks in here. The DOG is hyper and jumping at s feet. (CONT'D) Hi, you gotta go outside. opens the front door and the dog runs out, the neighbor s black cat runs in the house. wakes up. Eww, what the hell is that smell? walks over to one of the piles of dog poop. Looks like the dog has the runs.

9 9. Ahh man. On their white carpet too. I ll look for some carpet cleaner in the kitchen. throws a beer can at and hits him in the head. wakes up. sits up. (annoyed) What? (mad) Get up, you pissed all over yourself. Did you shit yourself too? Something stinks. The fuck n dog shit all over. It s got the runs or something. I told you, you shouldn t give it hot dogs. Just shut up and help me clean it up. walks in carrying some carpet cleaner and some monogrammed towels from the bathroom. Here use some of this. starts cleaning the dog poop off the carpet. He hands the cleaner and a towel to. Here clean that pile up. starts to clean the pile up but the smell is making him gag. He throws up all over the carpet.

10 10. (CONT'D) Are you fucking kidding me? I m sorry man, but the smell. Clean that up. And white carpet, who does that shit? (shouting) Troy, get your ass up and find the dog, put it in its cage. (half asleep) Dude, alright, quit yelling. I ve got a headache. stumbles into the kitchen and see s the neighbor s cat on the kitchen counter. He mistakenly grabs the cat and throws it into the cage. (O.S.) Bring the garbage can in here and throw away these cans. throws all the cans in the garbage can. Here. (CONT'D) throws the soiled towels in the garage can too. I think this is as good as it s gonna get, it needs professionally cleaned. I can t afford that. Troy picks up a bunch of Barbie dolls laying beside the couch. Here, just do this.

11 11. lays the Barbie dolls over poop stain spots. walks around spraying s perfume. Did you put the dog up. Yeah. does a once over, he straitens the pillows on the couch and covers the pee stain with a pillow. Alright lets get out of here. They all walk outside. EXT. HOUSE - SATURDAY AFTERNOON locks the door and puts the key back under the frog. They all get in the car and drive off. EXT. NEIGHBOR S HOUSE - SATURDAY AFTERNOON CHARLIE ROBINSON 60 s, neighbor, walks outside to get his newspaper. HANNAH runs up to him. Hey girl. CHARLIE CHARLIE looks around for or. CHARLIE (CONT'D) What are you doing out here alone. Come here. CHARLIE picks up HANNAH and walks over to s house and knocks on the door. He knocks a few times and then walks back to his house carrying HANNAH. EXT. S HOUSE - SUNDAY MORNING and pull into their driveway. MADDIE is sleeping in the backseat.

12 12. I ll get MADDIE. and walk into their house, is carrying MADDIE. INT. HOUSE - SUNDAY MORNING walks into the kitchen to let HANNAH out of her cage, the ROBINSON s CAT comes out instead. What the...(yells) Paul! walks into the kitchen. (CONT'D) Where s Hannah? This cat was in the cage. What the hell is that smell. and look around for the source of the smell. They notice it s coming from the garbage can. The doorbell rings. Why are my good towels in the garbage? Looks like they had a party. answers the door. CHARLIE ROBINSON is standing at the door holding HANNAH. CHARLIE Hi, are ya missing something? Oh yes, thank you so much Charlie. CHARLIE hands HANNAH to. CHARLIE I found her walking around outside yesterday. walks to the door carrying CHARLIE s black cat. I think this belongs to you.

13 13. CHARLIE Yeah, there you are Salem. hands the cat to CHARLIE. Thanks again Charlie. closes the front door and looks at. (CONT'D) (angry) I told you.. Just stop, I know. I m gonna kill him. looks around the room at Barbie dolls placed all over the living room floor. She notice a VHS tape case laying next to the TV Oh no. What now? pulls out the VHS tape sticking out of the VCR. walks up and looks at the case. (CONT'D) He watched Maddie s birth? That tape also had the threesome with you, me and Jenny we had last year on your birthday on it. slams the tape into s chest and walks out of the room. FADE TO BLACK.