Assumptions: Is it Really What You Think?

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Morgan Daniels
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1 Assumptins: Is it Really What Yu Think? What is an assumptin? Making an assumptin is when yu make a decisin abut smething r smene withut having all f the facts. We tend t rely n cues and signals frm thers t figure ut what they are thinking. Eventually we becme cnvinced that ur guess is fact withut prf. This is indirect cmmunicatin. It encurages yu t fill in the blanks n yur wn and make assumptins abut thers. It is easy t fantasize what thers are thinking and ding. This can eventually lead t gssip and misunderstandings between friends. GOAL: The fllwing activity will help students think abut and understand hw quickly and easily assumptins are made. Directins: Read the fllwing scenari and answer the crrespnding questins. Scenari is upset ver her math grade. At lunch she avids lking at her friends in fear she might shw that she is upset. She desn t want anyne t knw hw badly she is ding. Her friends ask her what is wrng but she just shakes her head and says nthing. One friend in particular, Jenna, wh is sitting right next t, feels like has been giving her the cld shulder all day and decides, She must be mad at me. Instead f asking if is mad at her, after lunch Jenna pulls aside their ther girlfriends and discusses why wuld be mad at Jenna. When walks by them ut f the lunch rm the girls fall silent. The rest f the day Jenna and the ther girls ignre. desn t understand why everyne is being mean t her and is cnfused and feels even mre stressed because nw nt nly is she almst failing math, but all f her friends are mad at her. Because Jenna made the assumptin that was mad, a cycle has started and nt nly will the ther girls start making assumptins, but is nw left t start assuming why the girls are mad at her.

2 Map the situatin: In each bx, write what each persn des and assumptins they make that cntribute t making the situatin wrse? The bystanders Jenna Fllw-up questins 1. What did d that was kay? What culd have dne differently and why? 2. What culd have dne after she realized her friends were mad at her?

3 Jenna 1. What assumptins des Jenna make and why? Why are these assumptins wrng? 2. What happened when Jenna made these assumptins? 3. What culd Jenna have dne as sn as she felt was giving her the cld shulder? The bystanders 1. What did the ther girls in the grup d right? What did they d wrng? 2. What culd the ther girls in the grup have dne differently?

4 ANSWERS: Assumptins: Is it Really What Yu Think? What is an assumptin? Making an assumptin is when yu make a decisin abut smething r smene withut having all f the facts. We tend t rely n cues and signals frm thers t figure ut what they are thinking. Eventually we becme cnvinced that ur guess is fact withut prf. This is indirect cmmunicatin. It encurages yu t fill in the blanks n yur wn and make assumptins abut thers. It is easy t fantasize what thers are thinking and ding. This can eventually lead t gssip and misunderstandings between friends. GOAL: The fllwing activity will help students think abut and understand hw quickly and easily assumptins are made. Directins: Read the fllwing scenari and answer the crrespnding questins. Scenari is upset ver her math grade. At lunch she avids lking at her friends in fear she might shw that she is upset. She desn t want anyne t knw hw badly she is ding. Her friends ask her what is wrng but she just shakes her head and says nthing. One friend in particular, Jenna, wh is sitting right next t, feels like has been giving her the cld shulder all day and decides, She must be mad at me. Instead f asking if is mad at her, after lunch Jenna pulls aside their ther girlfriends and discusses why wuld be mad at Jenna. When walks by them ut f the lunch rm the girls fall silent. The rest f the day Jenna and the ther girls ignre. desn t understand why everyne is being mean t her and is cnfused and feels even mre stressed because nw nt nly is she almst failing math, but all f her friends are mad at her. Because Jenna made the assumptin that was mad, a cycle has started and nt nly will the ther girls start making assumptins, but is nw left t start assuming why the girls are mad at her.

5 Map the situatin: In each bx, write what each persn did and assumptins they make that cntribute t making the situatin wrse? gets a bad grade n her test, she is upset and desn't want t talk. begins t wnder why her friends are mad at her instead f just asking them. Jenna Jenna sees that is nt talking and assumes is mad at her. Ignres. Talks t the rest f the girls abut. The grup The grups discusses why is mad at Jenna. Ignres. Fllw-up questins 1. What did d that was kay? What culd have dne differently and why? was allwed t feel upset abut her math grade and she was allwed t eat lunch in silence, but when her friends asked her what was wrng, she culd have said: She was upset ver smething that happened in math. She was upset ver a grade she received. Tld them the whle truth. Tld them she wuld talk t them abut it later but she just didn t feel well.

6 2. What culd have dne after she realized her friends were mad at her? Called Jenna later and cnfrnted her abut the situatin. Sent Jenna a text, asking her if she was mad and what was wrng at lunch. Tld Jenna that she was there fr her t talk t when she was ready. Jenna 1. What assumptins des Jenna make and why? Why are these assumptins wrng? Jenna thinks that is mad at her because she is nt talking t her. They are wrng because is nt mad at her. 2. What happened when Jenna made these assumptins? Jenna is nw mad at. Instead f talking t abut it, Jenna gets the ther girls invlved and nw they are all ignring Jenna. 3. What culd Jenna have dne as sn as she felt was giving her the cld shulder? The antidte t assumptins is infrmatin. Ask if she is mad. Ask hw her day is ging, if anything happened. If she desn t feel cmfrtable asking : Knw when yu are making an assumptin. Catch yurself making assumptins in the mment instead f t late. Questin the assumptin. Are there any ther reasns why might be acting this way? Yu need t be 100% sure the assumptin yu came up with has t be true. Try thinking abut the assumptins that were made. Say in yur head I wnder if is mad at me, r if she is having a bad day. This makes the assumptin nt abslute. D nt invlve thers in yur assumptins.

7 The bystanders 1. What did the ther girls in the grup d right? What did they d wrng? Jenna was the nly ne wh assumed was mad, but nce Jenna brught it up, the thers agreed with her withut getting the facts 2. What culd the ther girls in the grup have dne differently? In the lunch rm Ask questins. She is bviusly feeling bad and may want t talk. If she respnds with a shrt nthing r I am fine but yu knw she is nt. Ask her if she has had a bad day. She may answer yes and yu can leave it at that. Ask what happened. Ask her why she is nt talking much. Tell her that if she wants t talk yu are there fr her whenever. Give her a cmpliment. D nt ask arund abut what might be wrng. This will let thers knw that is upset. This will invite rumrs and gssiping. Tell her Jenna she is making assumptins. D nt partake in the assumptin making. Change the subject. Tell Jenna that they can all talk t abut it later. When walks by, leave the grup and walk with her.

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