RESPECT IS FIRST bullying is lack of RESPECT. Sue Fustin Retired Administrator ~ 16 years Former Teacher ~ 17 years

Transcription

1 RESPECT IS FIRST bullying is lack of RESPECT Sue Fustin Retired Administrator ~ 16 years Former Teacher ~ 17 years

2 DISCOVERY!!! Who are you?? What do you do?? Where do you work?? How long have you worked there??

3 Ok.. So what do you want to know? Take a few minutes.. Talk to each other and discuss: What do you need to know to assist you in your work in regards to bullying/respect? What questions do you want answered? Do you have specific examples that could be shared so we can problem solve?

4 AGENDA Respect Defined Bullying Defined The Law (briefly discussed) What do parents say, think and expect? What do children say, think and expect? What does staff say, think and expect? Questions and Answer Time

5 So what is this??? Respect. means a feeling or show of honor or esteem for someone or something. An example of respect is the feeling a student has about a great teacher. An example of respect is being quiet in a church or library. An example of respect is truly listening to someone speak. An example of respect is walking around, rather than through 2 people talking. Bullying. is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power or imbalance of power. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Bullying. includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose..it could also include what we now call cyber-bullying.

6 THE LAW Schools have specific laws needed to follow. Illinois School Law directs policy to be adopted. School Board Policy directs actions taken by administrators and teachers. Administrator of the site directs the policy to be followed.

7 Roles that are played The bully The person being bullied The bystander

8 Questions A young child is being aggressive in play. Is this bullying? A young child is angry because he/she didn t get what he/she wanted. Is this bullying? If so what is OUR ROLE?? If not what is OUR ROLE to help children with these everyday instances?

9 Risk Factors The person being bullied They are PERCEIVED as different from their peers: such as overweight, underweight, wearing glasses, different clothing, new at school, unable to afford cool stuff Low self esteem, anxious, depressed Less popular and few friends Do not get along well with others These risk factors don t guarantee a person being bullied. They are simply possible factors.

10 Risk factors of being a bully Those students who are well connected with their peers, have social power and are concerned with their popularity. Those students who have low self esteem, less involved in school, easily pressured, feelings of depression or are anxious.

11 Risk factors continued.. Those who bully Less parental involvement or issues at home. Have difficulty following rules. View violence in a positive way. Remember: those who bully others do not need to be stronger or bigger. The power imbalance can come from: popularity, or cognitive ability too. Or the perceived popularity of others..

12 The Bystander. Question: why would 81% of kids who would not instigate bullying simply stand by and watch? They are afraid of getting bullied They are afraid of getting hurt They are afraid it will make it worse They don t know what to do.. They haven t been taught!!! These are excuses let s teach them what to do!!

13 Willing Good (speaking and doing right even when the burden is heavy) Teaching children how to connect with others because it is the right thing to do Teach our children to: He and only he is responsible for the consequences for his actions Build the child s confidence in making good decisions. (becoming independent thinkers) Teach children how to evaluate reasons on his/her own. (they are able to evaluate, question and be more resistant to passive acceptance)

14 SIGNS OF CHILDREN being bullied Look for changes in the child. However, be aware that not all children who are bullied exhibit warning signs. Unexplainable injuries Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch. Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem

15 SIGNS THAT CHILDREN ARE bullying others Get into physical or verbal fights Have friends who bully others Are increasingly aggressive Get sent to the principal s office or to detention frequently Have unexplained extra money or new belongings Blame others for their problems Don t accept responsibility for their actions Are competitive and worry about their reputation or popularity

16 Prevention and Intervention.. Model positive ways for young children to make friends. Help young children learn the consequences of certain actions in terms they can understand. Set clear rules for behavior and monitor children's interactions carefully. Step in quickly to stop aggressive behavior or redirect it before it occurs. Use age-appropriate consequences for aggressive behavior. Young children should be encouraged to say "I'm sorry" whenever they hurt a peer, even accidentally. The apology should also be paired with an action.

17 PREVENTION AT SCHOOL Assess what is going on in your school Evaluate Policies and Rules Educate Students/Staff Engage Parents and Community with the Prevention Model Create a Mission Statement, Code of Conduct, etc.. Create a Safe place to report and how to report

18 Do s and Don t s.. Do: Intervene immediately. It is ok to get another adult to help. Separate the kids involved. Make sure everyone is safe. Meet any immediate medical or mental health needs. Stay calm. Reassure the kids involved, including bystanders. Model respectful behavior when you intervene. Don t: Don t ignore it. Don t think kids can work it out without adult help. Don t immediately try to sort out the facts. Don t force other kids to say publicly what they saw. Don t question the children involved in front of other kids. Don t talk to the kids involved together, only separately. Don t make the kids involved apologize or patch up relations on the spot.

19 Other Thoughts and Ideas De-escalating a situation Presence of an adult.. Being closer to individuals Listening to children Sometimes the startle effect works Cool down time/apart

20 Policies, Rules, Standards. Sample Mission Statement [Name of School] is committed to each student s success in learning within a caring, responsive, and safe environment that is free of discrimination, violence, and bullying. Our school works to ensure that all students have the opportunity and support to develop to their fullest potential and share a personal and meaningful bond with people in the school community.

21 STUDENTS RIGHTS Sample Student Bill of Rights Each student at [school] has a right to: Learn in a safe and friendly place Be treated with respect Receive the help and support of caring adults

22 Develop your plan Work together and discuss the following: Do you have a mission statement at your school? Do you have a bullying issue? Do parents think there are issues? How do you handle these issues now?

23 The Plan Work together and create a Plan: Include the following: Establish clear procedures for reporting Establish clear anti bullying statements that can be posted around the school. Make sure reports are confidential and private.

24 Websites to Check A Call To Stop Bullying Bully Police USA Cyberbullying Research Center Generation Safe Illinois Attorney General Internet Safety Site

25 Thank You Questions/Answers Question and Answers!!! My address is: