Bullying: What it is, what it isn t, and what can we do about it? By: Stephanie Twellman Bethany School Counselor

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1 Bullying: What it is, what it isn t, and what can we do about it? By: Stephanie Twellman Bethany School Counselor

2 Agenda Stats on bullying. What is bullying? What is not bullying? Signs my child might be being bullied. What can I do as a parent?

3 National Bullying Statistics There is growing awareness of the problem of bullying, which may lead some to believe that bullying is increasing. However, studies suggest that rates of bullying may be declining. 1 out of every 4 students (22%) report being bullied during the school year. (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2015) 64 percent of children who were bullied did not report it; only 36 percent reported the bullying. (Petrosina, Guckenburg, DeVoe, and Hanson, 2010)

4 National Bullying Statistics Most bullying happens in middle school. The most common types are verbal and social bullying. More than half of bullying situations (57%) stop when a peer intervenes on behalf of the student being bullied. (Hawkins, Pepler, and Craig, 2001) School-based bullying prevention programs decrease bullying by up to 25%. (McCallion and Feder, 2013) Every day, nearly 160,000 children miss school because they are scared of bullying (National Education Association, 2015)

5 Effects of Bullying Bullying doesn't only negatively affect its victims, but also the bullies themselves. Kids who are bullied are more likely to - Do poorly in school - Have low self-esteem - Be depressed - Turn to violent behavior to protect themselves or get revenge on their bullies Kids who bully are more likely to - Do poorly in school - Smoke and drink alcohol - Commit crimes in the future

6 Bullying Statistics at Bethany 4th and 5th graders at Bethany 2013/2014 school year reported: - 89% feel safe, welcomed and accepted at school - 88% feel that at least one adult at school really cares about them - 48% not being bullied at or on the way to or from school

7 What is Bullying? Fighting, threatening, name-calling, teasing, excluding, or isolating someone from the group Repeated behavior over time An imbalance of power, such as size, age, popularity, SES, etc. Physical, social, or emotional harm that is intentional

8 Types of Bullying Verbal - Teasing, name calling, and using threatening language. Social - Also known as relational aggression, involves hurting someone s reputation or relationships. Purposely excludes others, spreading rumors, telling others to not be friends with someone, and embarrassing others. Physical - Hitting, kicking, pushing, spitting, taking or breaking someone else s things.

9 What is not bullying? All the behaviors below are unpleasant and need to be addressed, but they are not bullying. - Isolated act - Arguments or disagreements - Accidents - Not liking someone, or them not liking you

10 Signs Your Child May Be Being Bullied Even if your child doesn't turn to you for help, you can watch for these warning signs that he or she is being bullied. Kids who are bullied often experience: Withdrawal A loss of friends A drop in grades A loss of interest in activities he or she previously enjoyed Torn clothing Bruises A need for extra money, food, or supplies

11 How to Talk to Your Child About Bullying... Who are your favorite friends at school or in your class? What do you like to do with them? Are there any kids at school you don t really like? Why don t you like them? Do they ever say or do mean things to you? What was one good thing that happened today? Any bad things? What is lunch time like at your school? Who do you sit with? What do you talk about? What is it like to ride the school bus? What are you good at? What would do you like best about yourself?

12 What do You do if Your Child is Being Bullied? Parents play a central role to preventing bullying and stopping it when it happens. Parents are the best resource to build a child's self-confidence and teach him or her how to best solve problems. Teach kids to solve problems without using violence and praise them when they do. Give children positive feedback when they behave well to help their build self-esteem. Help give them the self-confidence to stand up for what they believe in. Ask your children about their day and listen to them talk about school, social events, their classmates, and any problems they have. Take bullying seriously. Many kids are embarrassed to say they have been bullied, so hear them out and see what they have to say. If you see any bullying, stop it right away, even if your child is the one doing the bullying.

13 What do You do if Your Child is Being Bullied? Encourage your child to help others who need it. Don't bully your children or bully others in front of them. Many times kids who are bullied at home react by bullying other kids. If your children see you hit, ridicule, or gossip about someone else, they are also more likely to do so themselves. Talk to your child's teacher about it instead of confronting the bully's parents. If the teacher doesn't act to stop the bullying, talk to the counselor and I will loop in the principal when needed. Teach your child nonviolent ways to deal with bullies, like walking away, playing with friends, talking it out, and reporting the bullying..

14 What do You do if Your Child is Being Bullied? Help your child act with self-confidence. With him or her, practice walking upright, looking people in the eye, and speaking clearly. Don't encourage your child to fight. This could lead to him or her getting hurt, getting in trouble, and beginning more serious problems with the bully. Involve your child in activities outside of school. This way he or she can make friends in a different social circle.

15 Books That Teach About Bullying 1. Chrysanthemum 4. Enemy Pie 7. The Invisible Boy By Kevin Henkes By Derek Munson By Trudy Ludwig Grades: Preschool-3 Grades: Preschool-7 Grades: The Recess Queen 5. Each Kindness 8. Bully By Alexis O'neill By Jacqueline Woodson By Patricia Polacco Grades: Preschool-3 Grades: Kindergarten-3 Grades: The Juice Box Bully 6. The Hundred Dresses 9. The Bully Book By Bob Sornson and Maria By Eleanor Estes By Eric Kahn Gale Dismondy Grades: Preschool-5 Grades: 1-4 Grades: 3-7

16 Books That Teach About Bullying 10. Wonder 13. Tease By R.J. Palacio By Amanda Maciel Grades: 4-6 Grades: 9 and up 11. Thirteen Reasons Why 14. Side Effects May Vary By Jay Asher By Julie Murphy Grades: 7 and up Grades: 9 and up 12. Dear Bully By Dawn Metcalf Grades: 8 and up

17 Movies About Bullying Younger Kids Hercules Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius American Girl The Sandlot The Karate Kid Older Kids Cyberbully The Fat Boy Chronicles Bully The War

18 Questions?

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