TABLE OF CONTENTS. Semester 2: Counseling Issues Title Page Table of Contents Course Information 293. Class Calendar..

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2 TABLE OF CONTENTS Semester 2: Counseling Issues Title Page Table of Contents Course Information 293 Class Calendar Class Subject Class Assignments 297 Semester 2: Chart of Online Videos Questions and Dialog, Part 1 Week Questions and Dialog, Part 2 Week Worry and Fear Week Parenting I: Teaching and Training Week Parenting II: Love; Discipline Week Parenting III: Communication Week Parenting IV: What is God Looking for in Children? Other Issues Week Food Week Secular Counseling Systems Week Christian Psychology Week A Difficult Past Week

3 COURSE INFORMATION COUNSELING ISSUES (SEMESTER 2) COURSE DESCRIPTION: A beginning course that takes a thorough look at the biblical teachings on counseling issues. This class meets Sundays from 5:00pm to 6:30pm at 3347 West Avenue J, Lancaster, California; and on-line at The course will meet for 11 weeks. COURSE OBJECTIVES: To understand counseling issues biblically accurate perspective and to be able to use these truths in personal discipleship and counseling ministry. COURSE TEXTS: COUNSELING, John MacArthur, Nelson, 2005 A THEOLOGY OF CHRISTIAN COUNSELING, Jay Adams, Zondervan, 1979 COMPETENT TO COUNSEL, Jay Adams, Zondervan, 1970 SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY, Wayne Grudem, Zondervan, 1994 LOVE TO EAT HATE TO EAT, Elyse Fitzpatrick, Harvest House 1999 A CHRISTIAN GROWTH AND DISCIPLESHIP MANUAL, Wayne Mack and Wayne Erick Johnston, Focus publishing, 2005 PSYCHOBABBLE, Richard Ganz, Crossway, 1993 FROM PRIDE TO HUMILITY (BOOKLET), Stuart Scott, Focus Publishing, 2002 "Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission." ( WHY GRADES? Grades are for the purpose of measuring results. It is helpful for you to know at what level you are learning and working. 293

4 POINTS (Students taking class live): POINTS (On-line students): 600- Read the weeks syllabus before class (11) 800- Read the weeks syllabus before 300- In-class projects class (11) 600- Reading assignments from texts 800- Reading assignments from texts 400- Writing assignment (2) 600- Writing assignment (2) 600- Open Discussion (3)* 800- Open Discussion (3)* 500- Class participation 3000 TOTAL 3000 TOTAL *Open Discussion entries at livetheword.squarespace.com (3) On-line students: not required to complete in-class projects: not graded on class participation GRADES: A 2700 (90%) B 2400 (80%) C 2100 (70%) D 1800 (60%) WHAT TO BRING: Syllabus, Bible and any due assignments. PARTNERS: You are responsible for providing all class information to each of your partners if they are absent. You are responsible for obtaining all class information from you partners if you are absent. YOUR TEACHER: Communicate with me. If you know you will be absent, let me know so I can help you stay current with the class. If you have comments on the teaching or the content of the course, please come and talk with me or livetheword812@yahoo.com. My purpose is to serve you and benefit you. If you are struggling with the course or are in need of assistance, I am available to provide help or encouragement. HOMEWORK ITEMS: Homework assignments on page 297 are to be turned in to the instructor during the class meeting of the week due. NANC CREDIT: Students who pass this course satisfy the education requirement toward counselor certification from the National Association of Nouthetic Counselors (NANC). After course completion, students may apply for NANC certification. 294

5 CALENDAR FOR CLASS MEETINGS Semester Two 2011 Week 1 January 30 No Class February 6 Week 2 February 13 Week 3 February 20 Week 4 February 27 Week 5 March 6 Week 6 March 13 Week 7 March 20 Week 8 March 27 Week 9 April 3 Week 10 April 10 Week 11 April

6 CLASS SUBJECT Week Counseling Issues (Semester 2) Counseling Tools and Practice 1 Questions and Dialog (Part 1) A Close Personal Walk with God 2 Questions and Dialog (part 2) Counseling Process I: The Big Picture 3 Worry and Fear Counseling Process II: Effective Homework 4 Parenting I: Teaching and Training First Session; Role of the Church 5 Parenting II: Love; Discipline Data Gathering; Involvement and Empathy; Dealing with Sin; Restructuring 6 Parenting III: Communication Discipleship 7 Parenting IV: What is God Looking Resolving Conflicts; Language in for in Children; Other Issues Counseling; Instruction 8 Food Guidance/Biblical Decision Making 9 Secular Counseling Systems General and Special Revelation 10 Christian Psychology Journals; Put Off-Put On 11 A Difficult Past Serving a Difficult Counselee; Demons; Ministering the Scriptures vs. A Professional Medical Model; False Guilt; Terminating a Case 296

7 Counseling Issues (Semester 2) CLASS ASSIGNMENTS Semester Two Week Chapter Topic Assignment All Read the syllabus for this week prior to attending class; be prepared to discuss all discussion questions *Answer online Open Discussion question two times. 1 Questions and Dialog (Part 1) *Read Psychobabble, turn in two-page paper with two equal parts, Summary and How I Can Use This * Open Discussion #3 Due 2 Questions and Dialog (part 2) Read Counseling, Chapter 10 3 Worry and Fear Extra Credit: Read Anger, Anxiety and Fear Booklet, and write 5 significant statements 4 Parenting I: Teaching and Training Case Study (in-class project) 5 Parenting II: Love; Discipline * Open Discussion #4 Due 6 Parenting III: Communication 7 Parenting IV: What is God Looking Read Competent to Counsel, pg For in Children; Other Issues 8 Food *Read Journal #10, pg *Read Love to Eat, Hate to Eat (pages , ,and ); Turn in a two-page paper with two equal parts, Summary and How I Can Use This 9 Secular Counseling Systems Read Counseling,Chapter 3 10 Christian Psychology In-class project 11 A Difficult Past Read Theology of Christian Counseling, Chapter 6 * Open Discussion #5 Due *All journals and Open Discussion questions can be found at Journals-Log In, Go to Bible Resources. Click Journal with Scriptures Download PDF file. Open Discussion- Log In, Go to Discussion. Click Open Discussion 297

8 Session 41 Session 42 Session 43 Session 44 Session 45 Session 46 Session 47 Session 48 Session 49 Session 50 Session 51 Session 52 Session 53 Session 54 Session 55 Session 56 Session 57 Session 58 Session 59 Session 60 Session 61 Session 62 Session 63 Session 64 Session 65 Session 66 Chart of Online Videos Counseling Issues Week 1 - Questions and Dialog I Flash mov mp3 Counseling Tools and Practice Week 1 - A Close Personal Walk with God Flash mov mp3 Counseling Issues Week 2 - Questions and Dialog II Flash mp4 mp3 Counseling Tools and Practice Week 2 - CP I The Big Picture Flash mp4 mp3 Open Q & A Week 2 - Open Questions and Answers Flash mov mp3 Counseling Issues Week 3 - Worry and Fear Flash mp4 mp3 Counseling Tools and Practice Week 3 - CP II Effective Homework Flash mp4 mp3 Counseling Issues Week 4 - Parenting I: Teaching / Training Flash mp4 mp3 Counseling Issues Week 4 - Discussion: Syllabus pg. 330 Flash mp4 mp3 Counseling Tools and Practice Week 4 - First Session / Role of Church Flash mp4 mp3 Counseling Issues Week 5 - Parenting II: Love / Discipline Flash mp4 mp3 Counseling Tools and Practice Week 5 - Data Gathering Flash mp4 mp3 Counseling Issues Week 6 - Parenting III: Communication Flash mp4 mp3 Counseling Tools and Practice Counseling Issues Counseling Tools and Practice Week 6 - Discipleship Flash mp4 mp3 Week 7 - Parenting IV: God's Expectation Week 7 - Conflicts / Language / Instruction Flash mp4 mp3 Flash mp4 mp3 Counseling Issues Week 8 - Food Flash mp4 mp3 Counseling Tools and Practice Week 8 - Guidance/Biblical Decision Making Flash mp4 mp3 Counseling Issues Week 9 - Secular Counseling Systems Flash mp4 mp3 Open Q & A Week 9 - Open Questions and Answers Flash mp4 mp3 Counseling Tools and Practice Week 9 - General and Specific Revelation Flash mp4 mp3 Counseling Issues Week 10 - Christian Psychology Flash mp4 mp3 Counseling Tools and Practice Open Q & A Week 10 - Journals / Put-On Put-Off Flash mp4 mp3 Week 10 - Open Questions and Answers Flash mp4 mp3 Counseling Issues Week 11 - A Difficult Past Flash mp4 mp3 Counseling Tools and Practice Week 11 - Final Session Flash mp4 mp3

9 WEEKS 1 and 2: Counseling Issues (Semester 2) QUESTIONS AND DIALOG Planned questions It is easier to choose the right questions after study and prayer than on the spur of the moment It is easier to word questions precisely during the week than in the middle of dialog in the session Data gathering questions Who, What, When, Where, How Questions based on previous answers What were you trying to accomplish when you said that? What feelings accompanied those thoughts? Did your thinking change when she said that? How? Did you do that to please God or your spouse? Questions based on Scripture What is the point of this passage? What does God reveal about Himself here? How does this truth apply to you? Is this Scripture true about your life? If you were to live fully as this verse describes, what would change? Could you say to God right now, I am committed to obeying You by becoming a doer of this passage? Questions about their response to God Do you believe the Scriptures are true? Why did you do your homework this week? Did you respond to the Word by subjecting your will to God s? Questions regarding thoughts What did you think when your son did that? What is your biggest fear? What do think most about as you go through the day? What are your thoughts on that topic? Questions regarding habit patterns How long ago was this a pattern of action in your life? What were the thoughts and circumstances when you did this for the first time? Why did you do this then? Why do you continue this pattern of living? 299

10 Questions regarding emotions What were your emotions when that event occurred? When you think about your relationship with her, what feelings are common? What do you do or think when feeling that way? What emotion do you desire most? What do you do to try to get it? Questions about motives What do you want more than anything else? What drives you? What do you do to achieve this? How would your life be different if you had what you desire? Heart-level questions How would you describe the battle between obeying the flesh and obeying the Spirit in your life? Will you repent of this sin, turn away from it, commit yourself to God to never sin in this way again? Will you choose to believe what the Word says about this matter? After we understand the heart motives, then what? Communicate truth from the Word Provide tools to enable Godward change 300

11 Important Questions Jesus Asked (and How We Can Use Questions Effectively as Counselors) Jesus utilized strategic questions to set up powerful statements or demonstrations of impacting truth Matthew 12:48-50 But Jesus answered the one who was telling Him and said, Who is My mother and who are My brothers? And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, Behold My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother. Jesus asked an unusual question to an audience that regarded family and one s mother highly. Who is My mother and who are My brothers? It was particularly attention-getting because Jesus had just been told that His biological mother and brothers were standing outside and wanted to talk to Him. He knew who they were; so did everyone in the building. Did He misunderstand what was said? Was He disrespecting His own mother? What was He talking about? Although the audience was probably unsure, they were definitely listening intently for what Jesus would say next. He stretched out His hand, calling further attention to what He would say. Behold, My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother. Everyone heard this powerful truth loud and clear. More important than familial relationships is the heart of a person toward God. The brotherhood of believers is the key issue. It is primary, beyond the commitment to relatives. Each person in that room could be Jesus brother or sister! A mid-twenties woman could not hold a job. She was inconsistent in homework and had dropped out of college. Why? She had grown up in a home where nothing she ever did was good enough to be loved by her mom. She thought about this often. At least once a month she thought about it to the point of not being able to function for a couple of days. The counselor asked, Is any love more important than a mother s love? Is anything more powerful than that? She answered, No, I don t think so. Now she is engaged in the topic. She is ready to hear the truth of the Word clearly, which God will cause to be living and active, which He will use to speak to the depth of her heart: Jesus said, Behold, My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother. Is His love enough? You can be His sister, His daughter. Or, 1 John 4.19 We love because He first loved us. Can a mother s love have so great an impact on a young woman? Mark 9:33-35 They came to Capernaum; and when He was in the house, He began to question them, What were you discussing on the way? But they kept silent, for on the way they had discussed with one another which of them was the greatest. Sitting down, He called the twelve and said * to them, If anyone wants to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all. Jesus was apparently planning to use the moment to teach the disciples something important. He knew they had just engaged in proud, self-loving arrogance in their discussion. He asked them, What were you discussing on the way? to bring it back to the forefront of their minds. They already seemed to know they had sinned, as evidenced by their lack of reply to Jesus question. After their focus had been brought to their arguing about who was greatest, they were ready to hear the powerful statement of truth: If anyone wants to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all. Jesus showed them that what is right is exactly the opposite of how they thought and what they had said. He used a question to set up the bold, life changing truth and amplify its impact. 301

12 A counselee had written in their journal each day that they were angry because their spouse did not love them in a manner they deemed proper. The counselor reads an entry, She did not even care how my meeting at work went. She was preoccupied with our daughter s homework project. I slammed the door as I went into the den to watch TV. He asks, What did you want to happen in that interaction with your wife? I just wanted her to treat me as important. To care more about me. Now this man is ready to hear Ephesians 5.25 ( Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her ) and Philippians 2.3 ( Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself ) with full effect. He is prepared to hear that there must be a complete change in what he desires in his relationship with his wife. Jesus employed effective questions to teach about the real purpose of life Luke 6:32-35 If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Most people consider the way they love their family and friends to be significant proof of their virtue. Yet, most people also agree that even their enemies and those in prison love the few who love them. In general, people view doing good to those who typically serve them to be legitimate charity. Many consider it a good deed to lend money they expect to be repaid. Jesus put these common beliefs in the form of questions. The questions introduced the idea that His hearers were wrong, but did so in a manner that softened the confrontation and caused the audience to hear rather than argue. He drew their interest and brought them to a point of productive thought. He likely had most nodding in agreement at the end of verse 34, True enough, Jesus. I love and do good and lend to those who love me. Even the Gentiles do these things. They are not as wonderful as I like to tell myself they are. Now the crowd was ready to hear what this had to do with the real purpose of life. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Do you see the point? If the underlying purpose was to please God rather than ourselves, we would love enemies, do good to all and lend without the expectation of repayment. The purpose of life is not being loved, having others do good to us and getting our money back. The prime objective is to follow God s pattern of love. The goal is to live like son of the Most High. If you were speaking to your spouse and children, could you not think of examples that fit this passage that would be familiar to all? Grandma shows love to you always, but never says anything nice about the neighbors of a different ethnicity. Dad will not even speak to the owner of the howling dog. Caitlin helps the popular girl with her homework. Mom sends nicer cards to Uncle Ed because he has more money and gives nicer gifts. Dad lends tools but makes his friends sign for them so they will return them when promised. Ryan will not share his toys when other kids come over. By asking the same questions that Jesus did, you would have the attention of your audience. They would be ready to hear verse 35, as well as Colossians Then you could ask, What would we do differently if we lived as children of the Most High? How would we handle these same matters if all that we cared about was the day we see Jesus face to face? Will you each

13 commit yourselves to obeying God in this thing? What else must change if our lives are to reflect what Jesus taught? How can we help each other to so live? Luke 13:1-5 Now on the same occasion there were some present who reported to Him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. And Jesus said to them, Do you suppose that these Galileans were greater sinners than all other Galileans because they suffered this fate? I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish. Or do you suppose that those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them were worse culprits than all the men who live in Jerusalem? I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish. Galileans had told Jesus about unjust slayings of their countrymen. Rather than speaking with a national pride to his fellow Galileans or the outrage of a persecuted people, Jesus was thinking about the bigger question, Are they headed for heaven or hell? He employed a question to bring his hearers to the same idea. Were these religious Galilean brothers sentenced to die because they were the worst sinners? Jesus answered, No. He then turned His focus to the living souls in His presence. If they did not repent, they will die without an eternal relationship with God also, He taught. Next, Jesus utilized news of the day to explore another related matter. Jesus reminded them of 18 who were recently killed in an accident. Did all these people die because they were the worst sinners? This is an interesting twist, in that the discussion began with the story of unjust killings. Jesus answers His own question. No, they did not die because their sins were worse than those of others. However, they were not going to be in God s presence after Jesus victory over sin. The purpose of life was magnified by the vivid reminders of death that were brought to mind. Jesus brings it all together with His conclusion: I tell you unless you repent, you will all likewise perish, that is, apart from God. Jesus effectively used questions to teach about the real purpose of life. After 9-11, our nation was focused on being wrongly attacked and the terrible deaths of many in the twin towers. Aside from patriotism and mourning, something else was there for us to discuss. What happens after you die? Jesus knew the fate of every soul; we do not. However, similar questions could have been asked about the reason those particular people died. Twin towers or tower of Siloam, it wasn t because of their sin, it was just their time to die. But well phrased questions would also prepare hearts and minds for the same topic of consideration brought by Jesus, eternity. Have you repented of sin? Are you ready to stand before a Holy God in judgment? If you died, where would you spend eternity? Jesus utilized questions to ask for a heart-level response to the truth Matthew 16:24-26 Then Jesus said to His disciples, If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? Jesus made a bold statement of the response to Him as Lord that is necessary for eternal salvation. He told men and women that they must deny themselves. The losing of one s life was required. A more serious topic could not be discussed. Jesus then used two questions to ask for the heart-level response of His audience to this ultimate challenge. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what

14 will a man give in exchange for his soul? If you do not deny yourself for Him and lose your life for Christ, you will forfeit life for your eternal soul, He communicated. Jesus got to the bottom line in a loving manner with questions. Jesus knew the hearts of men. He did not ask because He wanted to find out what each one would decide. But He gives us an example to follow. We do not know the motives of men. We need to ask to find out how each soul responds to the powerful truths of Scripture. Jesus employed these questions to bring people to a point of decision. He also provided teaching that hearing is not enough. We should make similar inquiries for these reasons as well. What questions can a biblical counselor ask a counselee after he or she has clearly shown the final truth of the Scriptures on the life issue at hand? Will you choose this night to repent of this sin? Will you continue on this course of opposing God s Word and inviting His discipline? What benefits do you believe you are gaining by sinning against the Lord? Are they worth more to you than the security of salvation and fellowship with Almighty God? Could you honestly say to God right now that you will turn away from this sin and pursue a direction of obedience to Him? Jesus used questions to gently but directly confront sin John 5:44 How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and you do not seek the glory that is from the one and only God? The issue of fearing man versus fearing God is common in the Bible. Many reject God to pursue the approval of men. Often, people lie to gain favor with others. On other occasions fame is achieved by sacrificing purity. Some souls seek the companionship of sinners for the sake of anticipated benefit. Jesus addressed this topic in John He softened the effect of confrontation by exposing sin with a question. He was direct in the charge. But He initiated a different thought process by putting it in the form of a question. Rather than setting up a debate with the Jews by exposing their sin with accurate accusation (they may have tried to think of all the ways they could justify themselves), Jesus asked a logical question: How can they have saving faith when they seek glory from men rather than from God? This pointed their focus to the most basic issue: Who is their god? His audience understood their devotion was misplaced. How can we as Christians use this method of directly but gently confronting sin? First, we must verify the heart. Jesus knew the gods of each soul. We do not, unless we ask and they tell us. We can best receive this heart level information by asking questions such as, What were you trying to accomplish by doing that? What do you want more than anything else? When you said that, what were you hoping would happen next? and What do you work hardest to obtain? After we have heard clearly the motives and goals of the heart, we can ask the gentle but confronting question. How can you say you have no sin when your purpose was opposite of obeying God? If what you wanted most was to honor Jesus Christ, what would you have done in that same situation? What would you have said if your objective was to be a doer of the Word? What would change in your weekly plans if your main priority was to honor God with your schedule? 304

15 Jesus utilized questions to persuade Mark 10:17-18 As He was setting out on a journey, a man ran up to Him and knelt before Him, and asked Him, Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life? 18 And Jesus said to him, Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone. When the events of these two verses transpired, Jesus was moments away from speaking the most important words this man would ever hear, One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess, and give to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me. Scripture tells us that Jesus spoke these words out of love, in Mark That was the answer to the man s question. Jesus used His own question to persuade the man, even before He gave His answer. Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone. The man must have believed that Jesus was from God at some level---he was asking Him how to obtain eternal life. Jesus uses the man s term, Good Teacher, to inform him that he was asking the right Man. Only God is truly good. Why was he calling Jesus that? The same reason he was asking a question only God could answer. And, yes, the answer he was about to receive would be from God. Jesus was convincing this man to listen and obey what He would say. Scripture tells us the rich man s immediate response was to walk away, dejected. Only God knows the final outcome of that conversation. Was that his final decision or did he give up his allegiance to riches and serve Jesus as Lord at another time? How many who heard Jesus words that day came to Him as Lord and Savior then or later? How many others have followed Zaccheus example of repentance from the same sin to come to Christ based on Mark over the centuries? We as Christians can employ similar questions to persuade. Such words give brothers or sisters in Christ the greatest opportunity to respond in obedience to God. Do you believe the Bible is God s Word? Do you believe the blood of Jesus Christ was shed to cover your sins? Have you ever committed yourself to honoring Jesus Christ as your Lord because you were thankful for His sacrifice on that cross? Do you love God? These can all amplify the impact of following statements of truth from the Word. You must end this adulterous relationship. Turn yourself in. Repent now. Confess your sin to her and her family. Like Jesus words in verse 21, these should be spoken from a heart of love. Jesus taught the biblical theology of man through straightforward questions Luke 6:46 Why do you call Me, Lord, Lord, and do not do what I say? Jesus taught His many disciples about themselves in Luke 6. God s standard was to love even enemies, not just those who love you. They were to be merciful even as God is merciful. As trees are identified by their fruit, so men s hearts are revealed by their words. Such truth spoke to the consciences of the audience. They were hearing the theology of man: sinners who fall short of God s holiness. He would end the instruction with the solution to the problem of man s sinful nature. He would speak about a life that withstands the storms of life, an existence built on the solid foundation of His words, the new life in Him that enables escape of sin s mastery (Romans ). In contrast, the one who heard His words but did not act was a house destroyed by a flood. As we see the whole of the New Testament now, it is clear that we are saved through Jesus Christ, the living Word (John 1.1,12-14) and by the eternal written Word of God (1 Peter ). 305

16 In between the dilemma and the solution, Jesus made the matter personal with a bold question. Why do you call Me, Lord, Lord, and do not do what I say? His words penetrate the soul today. To the unbeliever, His question exposes their sin nature and the need for forgiveness at the cross. To the sinning Christian, He calls for repentance and victory. To the strong child of God He reminds us that there is more opportunity for sanctification, we are not perfect here, there is the next sin to replace with righteousness (Ephesians ). To the one whose life is built upon the rock of the Word, there is the joy of revisiting past battles won, temptations overcome, storms that did not shake this house built on the Lord Jesus Christ. To Christians Jesus words are at once a call to pursue becoming more holy and a recollection of fruit of righteousness already borne, the assurance of salvation (John 15.8). We should show others this great question of our Lord. Jesus helped people clarify their beliefs and motives with questions John 6:66-68 As a result of this many of His disciples withdrew and were not walking with Him anymore. So Jesus said to the twelve, You do not want to go away also, do you? Simon Peter answered Him, Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life. Jesus had just given a dissertation that caused the many followers who did not truly believe in Him to go away (John ). He knew who did believe in Him and who did not. After the many had left, He asked the twelve a question that clarified their beliefs and motives. You do not want to go away also, do you? Peter spoke for eleven of the twelve. This dialog between Jesus and Peter changed the entire focus of the moment. Instead of the potential for various thoughts about the departure of nearly all those who had been following Jesus (Is our ministry a failure? Will we no longer be celebrities? How will Jesus become the King now? Will there be hard tomes ahead?), the moment was interpreted and a conclusions drawn (We believe Jesus is the Messiah. If all go away, I will not. We will follow Jesus to our death and live with Him in eternity. Others may not believe in Him, but I do. Walking with Him is all that matters. He is my Lord.). In our ministries to fellow believers and in evangelism, many moments call for such questions that clarify beliefs and motives. Unlike Jesus, we do not know ahead of time what the conclusion of each heart will be. But for the one who chooses to walk with Him and the one who stands opposed, clarifying beliefs and motives with a question is beneficial. To help the one who does believe step back and see the big picture enables them to think in strong faith in regard to a distressing difficulty. Do you believe that God s grace will be sufficient for you? Will you be a doer of the Word in this matter regardless of the outcome? Is honoring your God more important than the financial ramifications? Will you put obeying God above the affection of this person? Are you thankful for this opportunity to prove your faith? To cause the brother or sister in sin to realize where they stand results in the end of selfdeception and a mind open to the reproving, correcting Word of God. What do the Scriptures say about your purposes? What are you trying to cause to happen? If your actions showed a heart that is driven by obedience to the Lord and therefore love for Him, what would you do? Are you a tool in God s hand to bring these people to the Gospel? Revealing the life direction of one who has not come to Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord ends the lie of religion or false hope in self. What is the outcome of the things you have pursued instead 306

17 of Christ? What is it that you want to hold onto so much that you will not yield to Jesus as Lord? How do you perceive that you are benefiting from this way of life? If you died and God asked, Why should I let you into heaven?, what would you say? (the Evangelism Explosion question). The Important Questions Jesus Asked: Complete List Use this study as a resource to find examples of how Jesus used questions in His ministry. These examples can help you understand how to formulate effective questions to accomplish the same specific objectives in your counseling ministry. *Things Jesus could accomplish through questions that we cannot Jesus utilized strategic questions to set up powerful statements or demonstrations of impacting truth Matthew 8:25-26 Matthew 11:7-10 Matthew 12:48-50 Matthew 21:29-31 Matthew 22:18-21 Mark 9:33-35 Luke 6:9-11 John 8:46-47 John 11:40-42 John 16:31-33 *Jesus taught about God the Father through questions Luke 11:11-13 Jesus employed effective questions to teach about the real purpose of life Luke 6:32-35 Luke 13:1-5 John 5:44 Jesus utilized questions to ask for a heart-level response to the truth Matthew 16:24-26 Luke 17:8-10 Jesus used questions to gently but directly confront sin Matthew 7:3-4 Matthew 21:29-31 John 5:44 Jesus employed intriguing questions to engage the thinking of His hearers Matthew 18:12-14 Matthew 21:

18 Mark 10:3-10 Luke 10:26-29 John 1:35-39 *Jesus showed that He is God through questions Matthew 22:41-46 Luke 24:25-26 John 3:10-12 John 8:46-47 John 21:22-23 Jesus utilized questions to persuade Mark 10:17-18 Luke 6:32-35 Luke 13:15-16 Jesus taught the biblical theology of man through straightforward questions Matthew 6:25-28 Luke 6:46 Luke 17:8-10 *Jesus revealed men s hearts to them and others through precise questions Mark 11:29-33 Luke 6:9-11 Luke 16:11 John 18:34 Jesus used riveting questions to build rapport and involvement Matthew 11:7-10 Matthew 18:12-14 John 21:15-17 *Jesus, through questions, judged the hearts of others Matthew 9:4-5 Luke 16:11 Jesus used questions to appeal to the reasoning and faith of His hearers Matthew 6:25-28 Matthew 9:4-5 Matthew 16:24-26 Matthew 18:12-14 Mark 3:23-24 John 7:23-24 John 8:

19 Jesus helped people clarify their beliefs and motives with questions Matthew 9:27-29 Matthew 13:49-51 Matthew 16:13-16 Luke 22:52-53 John 6:66-68 Mark 12:24-25 Luke 6:9-11 Luke 7:41-43 Jesus worked to draw the interest of people through questions Matthew 21:40-41 Mark 5:30-33 John 1:50 *Jesus revealed His own heart by asking questions Matthew 12:48-50 Luke 2:49 Luke 22:48 John 11:40-42 John 18:11 Jesus showed who God is through questions Matthew 6:25-28 Matthew 16:13-16 Matthew 18:12-14 Jesus employed questions to communicate compassion and love Matthew 12:48-50 Luke 24:38-39 John 9:35-37 John 18:4 John 21:15-17 Jesus emphasized what is true with questions about common logic Matthew 21:40-41 Mark 4:21-22 Luke 6:39-40 Luke 7:41-43 Jesus pointed out the faith of those who had it through questions Matthew 9:27-29 Matthew 16:13-16 Luke 17:16-18

20 John 11:25-27 *Jesus used questions to expose the lack of faith Matthew 14:30-31 Mark 11:29-33 Jesus utilized questions to soften the confrontation of hard truth John 5:44 John 13:38 *Jesus revealed the heart motives of the one with whom He was speaking Matthew 7:3-4 Matthew 21:29-31 Matthew 22:18-21 Luke 22:52-53 HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT: Read Counseling, Chapter

21 Week 2 Questions and Dialog (part 2) In-Class Teaching Important Questions Jesus Asked How to use this study and counseling, chapter 10 Review periodically Systematically add different types of planned questions to your counseling ministry, meetings, daily conversation, and other ministry Using questions in biblical counseling. After you carefully evaluate the pertinent factors in each case and prepare for the next session, write out three precise questions designed to accomplish the specific objectives for that meeting. When preparing for counseling or other conversations, think through the following How do the Scriptures apply to this conversation? What is the need of the moment (Eph. 4.29)? Then, What heart level information do I need to understand? Could I use a question to more effectively express love, communicate, confront, or magnify what I must say? What question will I ask? During counseling and other conversations, consider how you might use questions to accomplish these things. Examples Q & A 311

22 Counseling Issues (Semester 2) WEEK 3: WORRY AND FEAR Frank and Brittany had been married for nine years. They were consistent in most aspects of their walk with God. They loved each other. They really had only one source of conflict and it surfaced every two or three months. It happened when Frank s mom and Brittany s mother and father both wanted to see Frank, Brittany and the two kids on the same weekend. They had developed a pattern of always going, doing, following the advice of their parents, even though they were married. Frank and Brittany both spent much time each day thinking about what they did, wore and said in based on one thing, What would mom think? Steve was a Christian, 23 years of age. He was stronger in his faith than most. He shared the Gospel with friends and regularly spent time in the Word. He was known to the guys at church as a solid friend and a young man of faith. He worried that no young lady would ever want to marry him. He thought about this daily. This fear impacted him so greatly that he spoke words that were untrue to impress the girls at Bible study and other times couldn t talk at all. When he did have dating relationships he lived in terror of the next conversation on the phone or in person. The inevitable result (the girl stopped seeing him) became focal points of thinking, producing more worry. He was nervous for a week before the meeting. These reviews were always difficult. Others in the company wondered why Ed, the one who always worked overtime, always volunteered for more, was the top producer every year, worried so much about the evaluation from the boss. He had begun a pattern of thinking when he was 11 years old. Ed s dad worked hard but the family of eight always struggled to survive financially. Ed decided that summer that when he grew up his family would never feel like he did. He was an overachiever. The guys at work didn t even know about his second job. But Ed s wife and son did. She washed clothed three times before putting them away. She washed her hands over a hundred times per day. Doctors had done tests, but no physical illnesses had ever been found. She slept only four or five hours per night. The rest of her time she worked or cleaned. But she was convinced she was sick and low on energy because she was unable to vacuum, wash and clean enough to keep them away. Linda was afraid of germs. Bob feared that he had a fatal illness that doctors could not figure out. His doctor had done extensive tests that concluded he was in good health. Bob worried often. When he had panic attacks, he believed these were actually symptoms of the disease. Marie lived in an apartment with two other women. Typically, every year or two one of the roommates would marry or move away. Each time, a new environment (a different set of two other women in the apartment) would be created. Each time Marie, a capable and professional worker, thought, talked, acted, dressed and ate very much like whoever was the dominant personality of the other two. Alicia wept as she sat on the couch. Soon her kids would be home from school. She tried to pull herself together. She was so worried about the people she had seen on eight different news broadcasts of an earthquake for the past six hours. Alicia didn t know anyone in that city or in that region of the country, but she worried about those who lived in that town. She was behind on her work in keeping the household running because there had been many days like this. Last week there was a missing person from a cruise ship and the week before a flood in South America. 312

23 Christians can form habits of inordinate fear and worry over a wide variety of topics. How the worry or fear develops over a period of time is as unique as the person who is dominated by it. Gathering data is essential. The counselor must become an expert on how this person thinks and on how they arrived at this present state of mind. The counselee needs not only to hear the pertinent truth from God s Word, they also need to hear it from someone they trust and have it explained in a manner that addresses their particular way of thinking and the road they have traveled to get to this point. The Bible addresses every worry and every fear. God supplies the solutions for fear and worry in His Word. The answers are there. They are clear. They are bold and wonderful. They are based on the certain truths of who God is, the promises He makes, His love, and the destiny of each believer. They also include the theologies of Scripture regarding other people, finances, trials and the purpose of life. Such counseling cases require involvement and love. A thorough understanding of the past, the thinking along the way and the present thought / emotion patterns is important. Your study, preparation and prayerful planning of what to teach from the Word and when are beneficial to the worrier. The person you are counseling may or may not realize that their fears are uncommon, opposed to God and not based in fact. Important Counseling Principles Understanding the Problem Gather enough data to understand the fears or worry fully Learn the progression of thought when your counselee is afraid or worrying What is the motive behind the worry or fear? Find out the thought process of the counselee when considering and responding to Scripture. The Solutions Galatians 1.10: Fear God, not man Change from the motive of serving an idol (what you desire more than obeying and serving God) to striving to obey God's Word and honor Him 313

24 Trust in the promises found in the Scriptures from Hope from God s Word (Semester 1, Theology of Counseling) Through discipleship, help your counselee understand the surpassing value of knowing Christ and to develop desires and thoughts in accordance with their identity in Christ (Philippians ) 1 John 4:19: Perfect love casts out fear Focus on many aspects of the love of God (See the "God is Love" study and journal in Bible Resources: Journals with Scripture at livetheword.squarespace.com) See the "Remembering God's Forgiveness" study and journal in Bible Resources: Journals with Scripture at livetheword.squarespace.com Hebrews 13:5-6: An accurate view of God eliminates fear of man Help the counselee to see how people of faith responded to potential fear in the Bible Change involves the counselee choosing to trust God and not allow thoughts of fear to worry to dwell in the mind Putting off worry or fear includes putting on thoughts of who God is, what His love is and what is true about circumstances (Philippians 4:8) The process of developing habit patterns of biblical thinking may include a few different stages 314

25 Resources A Christian Growth and Discipleship Manual ***you are not required to complete these assignments Study Page Worry Inventory #1 31 Worry Inventory #2 33 Fear: A Biblical Perspective on Fear 103 Fearing Man versus Fearing God 105 New Testament Study Format 110 Dealing With the Giant of Worry 207 Extra Credit: Read and write five significant statements from Anger, Anxiety and Fear Booklet. Stuart Scott (Focus Pub.) 315

26 Other Resources: Log of Thinking and Action 8:00-10:00 What I did: Most significant or most common thoughts: 10:00-12:00 What I did: Most significant or most common thoughts: 12:00-2:00 What I did: Most significant or most common thoughts: 2:00-4:00 What I did: Most significant or most common thoughts: 4:00-7:00 What I did: Most significant or most common thoughts: 7:00-10:00 What I did: Most significant or most common thoughts: 316

27 Journal of Thought, Worry and Fear What I was tempted to worry about or fear: What happened that brought this topic to my attention: My initial reaction: Past thoughts, worries and fears about this thing: What I thought about in response to the temptation to worry or fear: What Scripture says about this matter: What thoughts and actions based on Scripture would bring glory to God at this time: 317

28 Philippians 4.8 Journal Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things. The most significant event / memory of the day: What I thought about it: What things are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent or worthy of praise in regard to this issue: What temptations to worry, fear or anger were stirred up inside of me by the event / memory: What I chose to think at the time and in the hour after: What I choose to think now and from this time forward: My prayer (confess and repent of any sin) + (request for help to follow through in my decision for now and the hours ahead) 318

29 Fear Study the following verses and note everything they have to say about fear. Write down what they have to say about: 1. The results of fear 2. The cause of fear 3. The solution to fear As you study the Word, also record these things: 4. Specifically write down what causes your fear 5. What the results of your fears are 6. A Biblical strategy for overcoming sinful fear. As you go through days 1-6 and beyond, answer these journal questions about the times you are tempted to be fearful each day: 7. To discover the causes of your fear, keep a daily journal of the times you are most fearful: note exactly when it happens where you are what happened with who you are what you think about what you do when you are tempted to be fearful 8. Evaluate your response in light of what Scripture indicates you should do. Did you handle the temptation to fear biblically? 9. If not, how did you fail? 10. How specifically should you change your response when tempted to become fearful? Days 1 & 2 - Note the Results of Fear. Luke Genesis 21.16, 17 Proverbs John 4.18, 19 Genesis 26.6, 7 Proverbs Matthew Samuel Proverbs 28.1 Deuteronomy Galatians 2.12 Mark 4.35, 41 Leviticus Numbers Matthew Days 3 & 4 - Write down the Causes of Fear. 1 John 4.18, 19 Ezekiel 11.8 Psalm 23.4 Proverbs 28.1 Genesis Psalm 56.4 Proverbs 1.33 Psalm Matthew Proverbs Genesis 21.16, 17 Mark Hebrews 13.5, 6 Genesis 26.6, 7 Numbers John 7.13; Matthew Galatians

30 Worry: Commitment Statement of a Transformed Worrier I,, being dissatisfied with my present situation, commit myself to looking at life from God's perspective regarding my worrying. I will try to trust God in every situation and will also try with God's help to cease dwelling on past events and possible consequences. At those times when I fail, as soon as I recognize I am failing, I make it my commitment to ask God for His forgiveness, and with His help to resume looking at life from a biblical perspective. Furthermore, I make it a goal to spend at least one-half hour daily studying God's Word, praying, memorizing Scripture, and doing assignments that will help me to overcome fear and worry. Signed 320

31 The last two studies were developed by Dr. Wayne Mack, used with his permission Week 3 Worry and Fear In-Class Teaching Introduction: over 280 phobias Why do people fear? Why do they worry? Fear of man Want to be loved Want approval of parents, husband or boss Other fears Pain Death Failure, will not fulfill dreams Loss Overwhelming grief, sorrow, fatigue Illness Past abuse or suffering Worry We may lose something we like (health, spouse, children, house, comfort, attention) We may not get something we want (money, ease, success, love, comfort, pleasure) Results of unresolved fear and worry Panic attacks / Irregular sleep / Obsessive-compulsive behavior / Post-tramatic stress disorder / Nervous breakdown / Stress / Seeking escape (alcohol, drugs) / Anxiety caused by alcohol, drugs, withdrawal, or prescription medications / Multiple personality disorder / Depression World s solutions Medications Psychology Trust in self, create your own destiny Visualization Self love ( you are you own savior Self-esteem God s Solutions 1 Corinthians A promise only God can make 1 Peter The right goal Philippians The correct thoughts Galatians 1.10 The right fear 1 John 4.18 The right source of fear Hebrews The right companion How to counsel effectively Understand the problem What is the surface level issue? What is the root issue? The counselee must turn from their idols to honor God above all Effective resources Hope From God s Word / Journal with Scripture / The Fear Factor, Wayne and Joshua Mack / When People Are Big and God is Small, Ed Welch 321