THE LESSON Building Authentic Confidence A Lesson With Life Coach Valorie Burton

Transcription

1 Volume 5.04 THE LESSON Building Authentic Confidence A Lesson With Life Coach Valorie Burton Your Personal Declaration This Month: I do not allow fear, doubt, and insecurity to keep me from moving forward. Part 1: Why Not You? Five Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt Before I began writing books and speaking, I would often study authors and speakers who were doing what I wanted to do with my life. Their lives seemed somehow magical like they knew some special secrets that I didn t have access to. Of course, that wasn t true. I had within me everything I needed to begin living the purpose for which I was created. What many of them had was a strong belief in their ability to live their dreams. They also had perseverance. They believed in themselves and their potential for success so much that they refused to give up when success didn t happen in their timing. They believed it would come eventually and it did. I began asking myself, Valorie, why not you? You could fulfill your dream of inspiring others through your writing. Just begin doing it. MONTHLY COACHING PERSONAL GROWTH SERIES

2 This month, I want to encourage you to simply believe in your own possibilities and stay the course as you pursue them! I am amazed at how often we stand in awe of the accomplishments of others, as though we cannot achieve similar things. If you find yourself doing this, I encourage you to stop looking at what everyone else has accomplished and begin appreciating your own talents, experiences, abilities, and potential. You can have the life you were meant to live and successfully pursue the things that matter most to you, but first you must believe that you can. This is a basic foundation for success. Over the last few weeks, I have been writing to you about building a strong foundation. One of the most important elements of your personal foundation is simply believing in yourself. You must expect success and then take action and persevere based upon those expectations. In my book Listen to Your Life, I talk about cultivating an attitude of positive expectancy. If a video camera had recorded your life over the last week, what would I say you were expecting? Would your actions indicate that you are expecting success? Consider these five strategies to help you overcome doubts and cultivate an attitude of positive expectancy: 1. EXPECT DOUBT AND OVERCOME IT WITH TRUTH. When you are pursuing important goals, doubts will surface. Expect them, but do not allow them to govern your actions. Make a list of your most persistent doubts and then counter them with the reasons that you can overcome those doubts. 2

3 For example, if you begin to doubt your ability to be disciplined because in the past you have not stayed on track with your goals, remind yourself that this is a new day and you are evolving into a stronger and more disciplined person. Your past does not dictate your future. 2. REMEMBER THAT WITH GOD, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. When you are living within God s will for your life and fulfilling your unique purpose, you will experience divine favor. Don t become overly concerned when you cannot figure out how something will happen. Simply continue taking steps forward in faith and God will meet you at the point of your limitation. 3. FAILURES AND MISTAKES ARE LEARNING TOOLS. Doubts and fears are often cultivated when we fail or make mistakes. We begin to doubt our abilities. But failure today does not mean you will fail again tomorrow not if you learn the lesson in your failure. So perhaps your relationship failed or you failed in school or at work. I spent my entire first year of college on academic probation, yet graduated in three years at the age of 20 and earned my master s a year later at 21. My first-year failure was no indication of my academic or professional future. In every experience, ask yourself, What did I learn from this experience that will empower me to succeed the next time around? Then keep on pushing forward! 3

4 4. TAKE ACTION EVERY DAY TOWARDS YOUR VISION. Two weeks ago, I challenged you to identify your vision in the five key areas of your life relationships, finances, health, work and spiritual life. When you take consistent action towards a vision that is based on your life purpose, you begin to see opportunities flow into your path. Doubt can cause a vicious cycle in which you are paralyzed by fear and as a result, never take action. When you don t take action, you also don t attract opportunities into your path. Thus, you reinforce your own doubts. Take consistent action and you will break the cycle of fear and doubt that can keep you stuck. 5. TALK TO YOURSELF. Yes, that s right. Talk to yourself! Proverbs 18:21 tells us, Life and death is in the power of the tongue. Sometimes you simply have to practice positive self-talk. When you are feeling doubtful, tell yourself, I CAN do this. It s possible. I have what it takes. Speak positively about yourself and your circumstances, and you will discover new strength to move forward in positive ways. Sometimes you can t wait for others to encourage you. You have to encourage yourself! Personal challenge to you this month: Believe in your own possibilities. Make a list of your most persistent doubts and then make another list of positive truths that will help you overcome those doubts. 4

5 Persistent Doubts Positive Truths 5

6 Journaling assignment: In what ways have you allowed negative experiences, mistakes, or failures from your past to dictate your possibilities for the future? Make a decision this month to learn from your past, but not to be limited by it. Excerpted from the book, Why Not You? 28 Days to Build Authentic Confidence by Valorie Burton Part 2: Are You Focused on Winning? Five Journaling Questions to Help You Move Confidently Towards Your Vision! Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 1 Corinthian 9:24 6

7 It takes discipline, perseverance, and commitment to win the races of life, but the prize of winning is so very rewarding. It s not as much about the achievement of your goal as it is about who you become in the process. Sometimes, it can be easy to get stuck in a rut running your race half-heartedly and with so many distractions that you barely notice there is a higher purpose to what you are doing. This month, I invite you to consider whether you are running your race in such a way as to get the prize. Whether at work, in your relationships, your finances, or life in general, is it time for you to tap into the confidence to go for what you really want? Consider these four questions and journal your answers to gain the clarity you need. 1. What prize are you aiming for? Running a race without knowing where the finish line is exasperating. Get clarity about your goal. Aim high. What does winning look like to you? Write it down. A clear, compelling goal is energizing. As the adage goes, aim for the moon and if you miss you ll still be among stars. 2. What do you need to do consistently if you are to win? Consistency is one of the most important ingredients for success. Perhaps you re aiming for loving relationship with a close loved one, but yourself are at odds with the person over petty issues. For awhile, the relationship runs smoothly and then suddenly, an argument. 7

8 Don t give up. Keep practicing love, kindness, patience, and forgiveness. Don t keep a record of wrongs. Over time, the consistency of your love will pay off. Whether building a relationship or losing weight, consistent action towards your goal will eventually yield consistent results. 3. Why is it important to you? Discipline without purpose is self-punishment. Indeed, self-discipline is one of the fruits we are to produce in our lives (Galatians 5:22) for the purpose of becoming all that we were meant to be. But denying yourself constantly without the reward of moving towards a larger objective is frustrating. Know the core purpose behind the race you are running. If you are seeking better health by eating well and exercising, the purpose may simply be to live long and feel better. If you are seeking financial independence, the purpose may be to have the freedom to spend more time enjoying people and exploring life. 4. Why is it important to God? Ultimately, the prize you are aiming for is becoming all that God called you to be and fulfilling the purpose for which you are created. In every race, seek to grow spiritually, express love and learn the lessons that are being offered to you. If you do these three things, the priceless prize you ll earn are the words, Well done, my good and faithful servant. 8

9 Journal about it: What is the prize you most want to attain at this point in your life? (Consider your health, relationships, finances, work, and spiritual life.) What do you need to do differently in order to win it? Why is it important to you? Why is it important to God? 9

10 Personal challenge: Make a decision that you will run your race with a goal of winning it. If there are any races you are running aimlessly, either drop out of the race altogether or get clear about the prize you are seeking. Notes 10

11 Part 3: Recommended Resources Book Summaries The Confident Woman by Joyce Meyer As a woman you are a precious gift of God to the world, fulfilling a purpose that only you can fulfill. This book will help you realize your infinite worth and value so you can confidently become all that God intends for you to be and do all that He has called you to do! Visit Joyce Meyer online at Why Not You? 28 Days to Build Authentic Confidence by Valorie Burton Packed with unforgettable examples and practical tools, Why Not You? reveals the secrets to conquering doubt and insecurities, and building authentic personal confidence from the inside out. You ll learn how to identify your confidence quotient face the real source of your fears speak up for yourself focus on who you are, not what you do give yourself permission to be imperfect stop competing and comparing eliminate your confidence stealers 11

12 This practical, 28-day plan for building authentic confidence will lead you through an invigorating and complete life makeover, empowering you to put your best self forward and go for what you truly want out of life. Visit Valorie Burton online at The Confident Woman Resource Package by Joyce Meyer Developing confidence is the key to overcoming fear and uncertainty. The Confident Woman Package contains five life-changing resources, including one of Joyce s latest book releases titled The Confident Woman, her classic four-part audio series How to Succeed at Being Yourself, two dynamic DVDs titled Be Confident and Be Yourself, plus her four-part audio teaching Knowing Who You Are in Christ. These resources can be purchased individually at