CHAPTER 7 COHABITATION AND MARRIAGE

Transcription

1 CHAPTER 7 COHABITATION AND MARRIAGE 1

2 COHABITATION WHY BUY THE COW, WHEN YOU CAN GET THE MILK FOR FREE?

3 COHABITATION Living together in a sexual relationship without being married

4 COHABITATION Between 1970 and 1990 The number of couples living together outside of marriage quadrupled From 523,000 to nearly 3 million

5 COHABITATION Reasons for Cohabitation: Law does not allow them to marry Belief that marriage is unnecessary

6 REASONS GIVEN FOR COHABITATION Economic advantages We can save money by sharing living expenses. Time together We are able to spend more time together.

7 REASONS FOR COHABITATION Increased intimacy We have more opportunities to share sexual and emotional intimacy without getting married. Less complicated dissolution If the relationship doesn t work out, there is no messy divorce.

8 REASONS FOR COHABITATION Testing compatibility Living together enables us to better learn about each other s habits and character and see how we operate together day-to-day. Trial marriage We are planning to marry soon.

9 COHABITATION INCREASING AMONG OLDER INDIVIDUALS Avoid loss of financial benefits Alimony, welfare, or pension benefits Loss of a spouse to death or divorce Fear of losing another spouse Pain and anger as a result of a divorce

10 LEGAL COHABITATION AGREEMENT The parties can agree with respect to: Acquisition, disposition of property upon separation, Personal rights Obligation of either party Control of property, etc.

11 NEGATIVE ASPECTS OF COHABITATION Cohabitating couples have: Lower levels of personal happiness Higher rates of depression than married couples More negative attitudes about marriage than non-cohabitators

12 MARRIAGE HISTORICALLY Marriages were arranged In United States, expectations about marriage have changed drastically 12

13 MEDIEVAL SOCIETY M E D S I

14 BRIDE-PRICE In other cultures, groom's family compensated the bride's family by paying a bride-price Bride-price to compensate family for loss of bride's work Bride's family gave up their rights to her labor and her children

15 BRIDEPRICE Bride-price (progeny-price) more common in patrilineal societies than in matrilineal societies If marriage produced no children Contract was off Bride returned to her family Bride-price returned

16 MASSACHUSETTS PURITAN IDEA: MARRIAGE AS A CONTRACT Compared with other colonies, older age at first marriage Men married at age of 26 Women at about 23 Pattern persisted in the Puritan colonies for nearly a century

17 COURTING DURING THE 1700S & 1800S Courting to meet rational needs: Marrying off daughters early, to support agricultural economy Belief that love came after marriage Couples knew each other through informal, structured social relations e.g., Church

18 COURTSHIP Courtship Publicly visible process with rules and restrictions Carefully established social norms Public meeting places Group setting Night visiting, family present No privacy until engagement Norm until mid-1800s 18

19 COURTING ON BICYCLES

20 COURTING DURING THE 1700S & 1800S 1830s to 1880s:Victorian era Going calling Young man asked family s (father s) permission to court young woman Stepping out Chaperoned Engagement-father s permission

21 Courting: the 1700s & 1800s Matched according to: Economic status Education Family background Status and prestige Aristocratic families Arranged marriages

22 3/26 COURTSHIP S DEMISE AFTER 1900 Migration from rural areas Industrial capitalism Higher standard of living Adolescence, a new stage of life General mobility increased Range of choices increased 22

23 LATE 19TH TO EARLY 20TH CENTURY: COURTSHIP TO DATING

24 LATE 19TH TO EARLY 20TH CENTURY: FROM COURTSHIP TO DATING Co-ed high schools Working class women living alone WWI ( ) Middle class women work in offices Women s freedom Affluence and leisure

25 DATING 1940S TO EARLY 1960S 1950s Dating Stages: Associate on playground Flirting Talking

26 1950S DATING STAGES Double-dating Single dating Going steady

27 1950S DATING STAGES College pinning College & post-high school engagement age at marriage (early marriage; strong economy)

28 DATING FROM 1940S TO EARLY 1960S Steady dating: Most important pattern post- WWII In-between casual dating & engagement Transition period to marriage

29 DATING IN 1950S Dating Do s and Don ts feature=related

30 DATING 1960S & 1970S Dating less connected to marriage Trend toward independent living Average marriage age increased Sharp rise in premarital intercourse Cohabitation became common 30

31 DATING AT END OF 20TH CENTURY A major changes: More informal sexual contacts More co-ed high schools & colleges Shared living quarters in college Shared apartments and houses Similar numbers of men and women in college

32 Dating at end of 20th Century Variations in dating & partnering patterns Formalized roles? Stages of commitment? Love linked to sex? Sex for fun no commitment? Stages to cohabitation or marriage?

33 CONTEMPORARY TYPES OF INTIMATE & SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS Getting together Informal roles Not marriage-oriented Hooking Up or Joined at the Hip Sex for fun Open relationships Friends with benefits Booty calls Dating?

34 FORMING A UNION Union = Stable, intimate relationship between two people Live in the same household May or may not be married

35 FROM INSTITUTION TO COMPANIONSHIP Preindustrial Western nations guided by: Laws and customs Not affection and emotion Parents, especially fathers, played major role in spouse selection 35

36 THE INSTITUTIONAL MARRIAGE Emphasis on: Male authority Duty Conformity to social norms 36

37 THE COMPANIONATE MARRIAGE Emphasis on: Affection Friendship Sexual gratification 1950s: Single earner--homemaker + Breadwinner Companions, friends, lovers Husband s authority is LT in past More women--higher education 37

38 FROM COMPANIONSHIP TO INDIVIDUALIZATION Mid-1960s change occurred Breadwinner-homemaker marriage declining As both a: Cultural ideal Reality 38

39 TOWARD THE INDIVIDUALIZED MARRIAGE Emphasis on: Self-development Flexible roles Open communication Marital Satisfaction based on personal criteria Personal fulfillment Emotional satisfaction Obligations to others-lower priority 39

40 CURRENT CONTEXT OF MARRIAGE Meaning of marriage today Personal growth & self-development Deeper intimacy More open communication Social norms about family & personal life Less important 40

41 WHY DO PEOPLE STILL MARRY? 90% eventually marry Marriage is a public commitment 41

42 MARRIAGE AS THE CAPSTONE EXPERIENCE Practical importance-> Declined Symbolic importance-> Increased 42

43 THE CHANGING MARRIAGE BARGAIN Survey--Willingness to marry Five characteristics 1. Women more willing than men are to marry older partner 2. Men more willing than are women to marry younger partner McGraw-Hill 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

44 WILLINGNESS TO MARRY SURVEY 3. Women more willing than are men to marry not so good-looking partner 4. Men more willing than are women to marry partner who earned less than they earn 5. Neither women nor men willing to marry partner who could not hold a job

45 UNION FORMATION: SUMMARY 1950s Married younger Cohabitation unacceptable Childbirth outside marriage highly stigmatized Pregnancy-> forced marriage Many young men and women did not have sex until marriage McGraw-Hill 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

46 UNION FORMATION: SUMMARY None of the conditions of the 1950s remain today Common to marry later Spend more time searching for a mate Cohabitation acceptable Childbearing outside of marriage More acceptable

47 UNION FORMATION: SUMMARY Both men & women should be good wage earners Men should take more responsibility at home

48 DATING IN THE 21 ST CENTURY Speed dating 8 dates (lasting 8 minutes) On-line dating sites Personal ads Virtual dating Create avatars in an artificial world Hooking up

49 IS MARRIAGE GOOD FOR YOU? Research Evidence: Married people feel better & live longer Better: Physical health Mental health Deters risky behavior McGraw-Hill 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

50 IS MARRIAGE GOOD FOR YOU? Both Men & Women benefit: Women may gain monetary support Women typically earn less than men do Men may gain social support McGraw-Hill 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved

51 HEALTH BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE

52 MARRIAGE AS AN ONGOING PROJECT Develop sense of self through love & sexual expression Communicate openly and honestly Emphasis on self-fulfillment Independent marriages allow for renegotiations as time changes things McGraw-Hill 2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights Reserved