Slide 1. Slide 2 Objectives. Slide 3 Managerial Competencies. Effective Management Skills: Communication and Listening

Transcription

1 Slide 1 Effective Management Skills: Communication and Listening Presented by Margaret Fitch-Hauser, Ph.D. The Leadership Communication Group, LLC Slide 2 Objectives Develop familiarity with the elements of credible communication, Learn ways to make communication more assertive and responsive, Learn about listening styles, Develop skills in identifying other people s communication needs, Identify strategies for working with difficult people, Apply effective communication to challenging situations. Slide 3 Managerial Competencies Listen actively Give clear, effective instructions Accept your share of responsibility for situations. Identify real problems. Manage time and set priorities.

2 Slide 4 Give recognition for excellent performance. Communicate decisions to employees. Communicate effectively orally. Shift priorities when necessary. Explain work Slide 5 Effective Communication Intent = Impact Slide 6 Components of Effective Communication

3 Slide 7 Credibility Credibility must be earned. It comes when you have established trust. You establish trust when you show you are willing to listen and when you can balance advocacy of what you what and need and inquiry about what the other person thinks, feels, and needs. Slide 8 Are you a CREDIBLE Communicator? What we communicate and how we do it affects our ability to deal with differences. Poor communication can lead to misunderstanding, unhelpful emotions, distrust, sloppy thinking, and poor outcome. Roger Fisher & Scott Brown Getting Together: Building a Relationship That Gets to Yes. Slide 9 Content How we present an idea will help us win peoples minds.

4 Slide 10 Tools for Delivering Messages Advocacy and Inquiry Priming Framing Listening preferences Empathy Face saving Slide 11 Advocacy and Inquiry Present relevant information in an unforgettable way. Use clear, logical arguments and evidence. Ask provocative questions that are on target. Engage others in a two-way dialogue. Encourage others to draw their own conclusions. Create an intellectual Safe Zone. Slide 12 Priming Preparing the other person to receive or think about a topic

5 Slide 13 Framing Selecting words and phrases that express the idea as well as the sense of the idea that you want to get across. Slide 14 Framing tools Words Phrases Spontaneity Slide 15 Messages are given meaning by the context as well as the words and phrases used to express the idea. The meaning of any event or message depends upon how we perceive the frame in which it is presented. When we change the frame, we change the meaning.

6 Slide 16 Use Credible Communication to Receive and Send Messages Use open-ended questions. Use reflective listening and paraphrase what you think you heard. Listen for feelings. Use relevant and specific examples. Summarize major ideas. Use appropriate nonverbal behavior. Slide 17 Communication Strategies Deal with the problem, not the person. Appeal to a common goal and point out WIFM. Respond, don t react. Use relevant and specific examples. Deal with behavioral effects. Assume responsibility for your own actions and thoughts. Slide 18 Respond Effectively Seek information. Ask about the other person s reactions and feelings. Seek necessary changes in your own behavior. Listen to verbal & nonverbal messages.

7 Slide 19 Listen to the What and How Listen for clues about how the other party takes in information Try to identify their preferred sensory modality If you identify a preferred mode, match it Let your eyes listen to what their body is telling you. Listen for what words get stressed as they talk. Slide 20 DESC Describe Express Specify Consequences Slide 21 First line of Defense:

8 Slide 22 Are You Listening? Listening = The process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages Slide 23 The Listening Process Responding Evaluating Interpreting Attending Receiving Slide 24 Levels of Listening Passive Empathetic Reflective Responsive Selective Active

9 Slide 25 Improve Your Listening Mentally prepare to listen Analyze the topic & situation in advance Focus & concentrate If appropriate, take notes Resist internal & external distractions Ask good questions Slide 26 Paraphrase Check your motives and biases Analyze nonverbal cues Remember what the speaker said Slide 27 Listen with empathy Starting your message where the other person is emotionally and conceptually.

10 Slide 28 Slide 29 To listen is to have the creative power to imagine how it would make sense to say what the other person is saying. Carl Rogers Slide 30 Empathetic Listening I don t know what I ll do if I lose my job. Acknowledge Reflect Describe It sounds like you re really worried about budget cuts.

11 Slide 31 Get Them to Listen WIFM HWIAM WM WWYDFM Slide 32 Listening Preferences People Content Action Time Slide 33 Using Listening Preferences Understand own Communication LPP Diagnose the Communication Needs of habits Others

12 Slide 34 Face saving Maintaining the dignity of all parties involved. Slide 35 How we lose face Having an overture rebuffed Getting a personal insult Receiving a derogatory comment Feeling that our status is Disregarded Being forced to give up a cherished value Slide 36 Losing face continued Making an unnecessary concession Failing to achieve goals Having a personal inadequacy revealed Damaging a valued relationship

13 Slide 37 Working With Difficult People The evidence is clear difficult people are everywhere, and the people they torment have to find some way to interact with them. The Complete Idiot s Guide to Working With Difficult People. Slide 38 Difficult situations Anger Defensiveness Difficult Characters Vortex situations Slide 39 Dealing with the Angry person

14 Slide 40 Strategies Look for the underlying source of anger. Identify the direction of the anger Engage rather than withdraw Avoid taking the anger personally Adopt other-centered worldview. Normalize the anger. Slide 41 BATHE Background: Listen to understand the situation and the context. Affect: Name the emotion. Troubles: Explore what is disturbing to the other person Handling: Find out how they are handling the situation Empathy: Display empathy and concern. Slide 42 Defensiveness Becoming self protective when perceiving an attack.

15 Slide 43 Supportive vs. Defensive Communication Certain communication behaviors make an interaction climate more supportive while others tend to create a more defensive climate. Slide 44 Supportive Vs Defensive Defensive Evaluative Control Strategy Neutrality Supportive Descriptive Problem oriented Spontaneity Empathy Superiority Certainty Equality Provisionalism Slide 45 Handling Problem People/Situations Stay calm don t respond in anger; attempt to calm employees who are upset. Do your research find out the details of the problem from all points of view. Show empathy show your understanding and commitment for solving the problem.

16 Slide 46 Check back make sure that the problem has been handled satisfactorily. Slow the pace try to slow down the pace of conversation Listen carefully monitor your own biases and don t let them get in the way of truly listening to your customer. Slide 47 Maintain eye contact let the other person know you are still listening to him or her. Let the person finish Don t interrupt or try to finish sentences. Don t take anything personally Don t try to fight back even if unpleasant or nasty things are said about you. Slide 48 Agree when you can When you hear the other person say something you can agree with, state your agreement. Think before you respond. Look for ways to compromise, if possible. Look for alternative solutions, if possible.

17 Slide 49 Conflict: The interaction of interdependent people who perceive incompatible desires, goals, personal comforts, or communication preferences, and the possibility of interference from others as a result of this incompatibility. Folgers, Poole, & Stutman (2009) Working Through Conflict: Strategies for relationships, groups, & organizations. Slide 50 Conflict: Is emotionally defined Is emotionally valenced Invokes a moral stance Is identity-based Is relational Bodker & Jameson (2001) Emotion in Conflict Formation and Its Transformation Slide 51 Delivering Criticism Deal with a few issues Attack the problem Demonstrate effect(s) Avoid absolutes Give specific feedback Give timely feedback Deal with things the person can change

18 Slide 52 Delivering Bad News Don t attack. Don t dump the laundry list. Be clear. Monitor your tone of voice. Support the company line. Don t blame cast. Do maintain everyone s dignity. Do deliver the news in person. Slide 53 Steps to use: Find out what the other person knows or thinks. If appropriate, provide an overview of the situation so all parties have the same information. Give the information in small chunks. Monitor the nonverbal behavior of the other party. Slide 54 Give fair warning that you are going to deliver bad news. Sit quietly to let the other person process the information. Listen carefully and acknowledge the other person s emotions. Normalize and validate the emotional response.

19 Slide 55 Give the other person an opportunity to ask questions or make comments. Present information at the other person s pace. If appropriate, develop a follow-up plan. Slide 56 Responding to a Difficult One Ask for time to stop and think Listen to your heart Hold your immediate response When the other party yells, hold your response until the yelling stops. Remember, explaining won t help Let the other person know you hear Ask what the other person would like you to do State what you want Negotiate Get verbal acknowledgment on agreement Give the other party the last word, if possible. Slide 57 Know how to apologize Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Step 4 Acknowledge Apologize Make it right Recommit

20 Slide 58 Conflict in a negotiation setting Negotiation is the process we use to satisfy our needs when someone else controls what we want. Slide 59 When does negotiation occur?... Whenever people exchange ideas with the intention of changing relationships, whenever they confer agreement, then they negotiate. Gerard Nierenberg Slide 60 Listen to Negotiate Better Balance your needs with their needs. You want They want

21 Slide 61 Building blocks for successful negotiations Logic Reason Persistence Patience Slide 62 Prepare to Negotiate Define your goals and objectives Clarify the issues Do your homework Humanize and set the climate Identify internal and external issues Determine desired outcome Slide 63 Basic Elements of Negotiation Separate the people from the problem Focus on interests not positions Invent options for mutual gain Insist on using objective criteria Know your BATNA Fisher & Ury. Getting to Yes

22 Slide 64 Flexible or Rigid? (The Tao of Leadership) At birth, a person is flexible and flowing. At death, a person becomes rigid and blocked. Consider the lives of plants and trees: during their time of great growth, they are relatively tender and pliant. But when they are full grown or begin to die, they become tough and brittle. The tree which has grown up and becomes rigid is cut into lumber. The rigid group leader may be able to lead repetitious and structured exercises but can t cope with lively group processes. Whatever is flexible and flowing will tend to grow. Whatever is rigid and blocked will atrophy and die.