Being Bossy. Bully Packet #9. Instructions. This Learning Packet has two parts: 1. Text about bullying behavior and how to prevent it.

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1 Being Bossy Instructions Bully Packet #9 This Learning Packet has two parts: 1. Text about bullying behavior and how to prevent it. Being Bossy to get what you want is bullying behavior. 2. A Response Form with questions about the text. Read the text carefully. As you read, think about what you did and how it affects you and others. When you finish reading, write answers to the questions on the Response Form. WHAT YOU DID AND HOW IT AFFECTS OTHERS Most people don t enjoy being around bossy people. They like to make their own decisions. They get frustrated when someone tells them what they should do. Some people get angry when being bossed. They may get upset and walk away. They may lose their temper. When people are bossed too much they can lose their self-confidence. They have trouble making their own decisions. They worry about what the bossy person might say. No one likes being bossed. WHAT YOU DID AND HOW IT AFFECTS YOU When you act bossy, it makes you look bad. People think you have to be in control of everything and everyone. A person who acts bossy all the time does not have many friends. A true

2 friend lets you make your own decisions. A friend tries not to interfere with your life. Good friends will listen more than they talk. Good friends will let you have control over your own life. Bossy bullies are not respected. No one likes a person who acts bossy all the time. It s hard to be comfortable around this person. If people aren t comfortable around you they will stay away from you. Teachers and principals have to keep an eye on bullies. They want school to be a place where students can make their own decisions. They want students to feel comfortable about being in school. Bossy bullies interfere with others. REASONS FOR WHAT YOU DID Bullies want to control others. They like bossing others around. Some bullies are bossy because they are jealous. They think being bossy makes them look better. They hope the person they are bossing looks worse. This type of behavior is immature. Bullies may be bossy because they want revenge. They want to pay back people who have done something to them. People who are not bullies try to talk about a problem. They will discuss their differences and find a solution. This is a more mature way of handling a problem. The following stories will help you understand why it is wrong to make fun of others.

3 BOSSY BERNIE Bernie was used to getting his way. Even when he was young, he thought he had a right to boss his little brother and sister. He always told them what to do. Pick up my toys, he would say to his brother. Get out of my way, he would scream at his sister. Bernie continued to be bossy in kindergarten. He had to be first in line for recess. He had to be first to the lunchroom. His teacher hoped he would change. She hoped he would outgrow his bossy ways. When Bernie was in middle school, he was even more bossy. He told people where they had to sit on the bus. He told his friends whom they could and couldn t talk to at school. At recess, he was the one who picked the teams. He even tried to assign seats in the lunchroom! The students in Bernie s class were tired of his bullying ways. They didn t like Bernie telling them what to do. They decided to talk with the principal about the problem. The principal listened carefully to the students. He decided that Bernie needed counseling. He called Bernie s parents. He suggested a counselor for Bernie to see. Now Bernie is learning how to get along with others. He is learning it doesn t pay to be bossy. IN-CHARGE SARA Sara was bossy because she felt insecure. She didn t have much confidence when it came to sports. She never liked sports. She never joined any teams. To overcome her lack of confidence, Sara became bossy. When her friends wanted to play basketball she yelled and said, That s a stupid sport, only boys play basketball. She told her friends she would buy

4 them ice-cream at the mall instead. Sara did the same with volleyball. You know girls, playing volleyball will ruin your nails and it will get you all sweaty and stuff. She tried to bribe them with snacks. Her friends soon caught onto what she was doing. They decided they didn t like being bossed by Sara. They knew they had a choice either to play on a team or be friends with Sara. Soon Sara was without a friend. DOING IT RIGHT Don t let wanting power over another person turn you into a bully. You don t have to be bossy toward others to feel good about yourself. Being nice to people or being helpful can make you feel better than by trying to boss them. Here are two questions you should ask yourself before you act: Will what I am about to say hurt someone s feelings? Will people think less of me as a result of what I say? If the answer to either of these questions is yes, then you need to change your mind about what you are planning to say. If trustworthiness, friendships and having a good reputation are important to you, then acting like a bully will hurt you more than it will hurt others. Your reputation will improve when you think about the feelings of others before you act. An improved reputation will make you a winner and show others how grown-up you are. SET SOME GOALS One of the best ways to achieve something is to set a goal. A person s goal is

5 what he seeks to accomplish. Many professional athletes set a goal early in life to gain and improve their skills. They worked hard to accomplish their goal. A goal will help you become more successful. If you want to stop being bossy, a good goal might be: I don t need to be bossy to feel good about myself. I need people to respect me. I must act more grownup. You will have a chance to write some of your own goals in the Response Packets on the next pages. Think About It: We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools. - Martin Luther King, 1964

6 Being Bossy Response Packet #1 Name Date WHAT TO DO Answering these questions can help you improve your behavior. Write your answers in the spaces below the questions. Your answers should be neat, spelled correctly and in complete sentences. Be honest with yourself about what you did and why you did it. Your answers will not be graded. Your teacher, a counselor, the principal or your parents may read your answers. 1. What did you do that was bossy? 2. Why were you bossy? 3. How can being bossy hurt you? How can it hurt others? 4. Define the word Bully. 5. How can being bossy and being a bully be the same thing?

7 6. How do you feel when someone bosses you around? 7. Why do you think Bernie s bossy ways got worse when he entered middle school? 8. What did you learn from reading the Doing It Right section? 9. Why shouldn t schools tolerate bully behavior? 10. Write a goal that will help you stop being bossy.

8 Being Bossy Response Packet #2 Name Date WHAT TO DO Answering these questions can help you improve your behavior. Write your answers in the spaces below the questions. Your answers should be neat, spelled correctly and in complete sentences. Be honest with yourself about what you did and why you did it. Your answers will not be graded. Your teacher, a counselor, the principal or your parents may read your answers. 1. What did you do that was bossy? 2. What were your reasons for being bossy? 3. How can being bossy hurt others? 4. Why is it hard to be friends with a person who is bossy?

9 5. Why was Sara bossy with her friends? 6. What did Sara do to try to get her way? 7. How can a goal help someone be less bossy? 8. Why shouldn t anyone want to earn a reputation as a bully? 9. Why wouldn t you want someone to bully you? 10. Write two goals that will help you be more considerate with others.

10 Packet #9: Puzzle Page Name Find the right word from the text you just read and put it the right place in the puzzle Across: 2. Most people don t enjoy being around people 4. To overcome her lack of, Sara became bossy 9. Sara said playing would ruin your nails Down: 1. Some bullies are bossy because they are 2. Bernie thought he had a right to boss his and sister 3. Bernie wanted to be first in line for 5. Most people get when someone tells them what they should do 6. The principal decided Bernie needed 7. A person who is bossy all the time does not have many 8. Sara s friends had a choice to play on a or be friends with her

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