RAPE. Acquaintance Rape: A sexual assault by an individual known to the victim. 3 STAGES OF SEXUAL ASSAULT

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1 RAPE When people think of rape, they might think of a stranger jumping out of a shadowy place and sexually attacking someone. But it s not only strangers who rape. In fact, more than half of all people who are raped know the person who attacked them. Rape is forced, unwanted sexual intercourse. Rape, sometimes also called sexual assault, can happen to both men and women of any age. Rape is about power, not sex. A sexual predator s goal is to find an environment where he can isolate you. Both alcohol and drugs are used to manipulate you. A predator s actions are always planned and seldom impulsive. A rapist uses actual force or violence, or the threat of it, to take control over another human being. Rape is always the fault of the rapist. One person never owes the other person sex. If sex is forced against someone s will, that s rape. Rape: Any time a person is forced to have sex through verbal or physical coercion, or force and their protests or objections are ignored. Sexual Assault: Sexual assault is any genital, oral or anal penetration by a part of the accuser s body or by an object, using force or without a victim s consent. Date Rape: Sexual assault by an individual with whom the victim has a dating relationship. Acquaintance Rape: A sexual assault by an individual known to the victim. 3 STAGES OF SEXUAL ASSAULT Selection: Choosing victims that are perceived as vulnerable. Best way to resist being selected is to project a un-victim-like demeanor. Testing: The assailant approaches and engages a potential victim in some sort of interaction. This is so they can access the victim. Your firm verbal and psychological resistance suggests you are a lousy victim. Force: Only you can decide whether to resist. WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAVE BEEN RAPED KNOW THAT THE RAPE WASN T YOUR FAULT: It is never your fault. A rapist may say stuff like, You asked for it or You wanted it. This is just another way for the rapist to take control. SEEK MEDICAL CARE: The first thing you need to do is see a medical doctor. Do not change your clothes, shower or remove any evidence. The police will need this

2 evidence if you are going to prosecute. Victims often change their mind about prosecuting; therefore it is always better to have the evidence. The doctor will check you for sexually transmitted diseases and internal injuries. If you think you ve been given a rape drug, a toxicology test should be done. You may want to have a friend or family member go along for support. Write down as much as you can remember about the event. DEALING WITH YOUR FEELINGS: Rape isn t just physically damaging, it can be emotionally traumatic as well. The right emotional attention, care, and support can help a person begin the healing process and prevent lingering problems later on. A person who has been raped might feel a lot of things: angry, degraded, frightened, numb, confused, ashamed, embarrassed, withdrawn, depressed, anxious, nervous, unable to sleep or eat, and hard to concentrate or participate in everyday activities. This is referred to as rape trauma syndrome. Talking about rape in a safe environment with the help and support of a trained professional is the best way to ensure long- term healing. DATE RATE DRUGS Alcohol and drugs are sometimes used to assist a sexual assault. Alcohol can loosen inhibitions, dull common sense, and for some people allow aggressive tendencies to surface. The use of drugs also pays a role in date rate situations. Mixing these drugs with alcohol is highly dangerous and can kill. The three common date rape drugs are: GHB (gamma hydroxybutyric acid), rohypnol, and ketamine. Because of the effects of these drugs, victims may be physically helpless, unable to refuse sex, and can t remember what happened. The drugs often have no color, smell, or taste and are easily added to flavored drinks without the victim s knowledge. HOW CAN I PROTECT MYSELF FROM THIS DATE RATE DRUGS? You should: - Not accept drinks from other people. - Open containers yourself. - Keep your drink with you at all times, even when you go to the bathroom. - Not share drinks. - Not drink from punch bowls or other large, common, open containers. They may already have drugs in them. - Not drink anything that tastes or smell strange. Sometimes, GHB tastes salty. - Have a non- drinking friend with you to make sure nothing happens. **If you think that you have been drugged and raped: go to the police or hospital right away, do not urinate before being tested, get a urine test, and don t bathe or change clothes before getting help. PROTECTING YOURSELF ON A DATE - Go out in a group or on a double date. - Pay your own way so he doesn t get the wrong idea about you owing him.

3 - Drive your own car and meet in a public place. - Have your cell phone with you and make sure it is fully charged. - Do not give out personal information. - Do not invite him back to your house (most date rapes happen in the home) - Trust your instincts and leave any situation that makes you uncomfortable. Be in charge of your safety. - Stay sober and aware. - Be clear about what kind of relationship you want with another person. - Ask for help from someone if you feel threatened. - Take self- defense courses. - Never let your drink out of your sight. Any liquid can be drugged. - Make sure someone knows where you are and what time you will be home. - Never let them know if you live by yourself MYTH OR REALITY Myth- A woman who gets raped usually deserves it. Reality- No one deserves to be raped. Myth- If a woman agrees to allow a man to pay for dinner, or a drink, then it means she owes him sex. Reality- Sex is not an implied payback for anything. Myth- Acquaintance rape is committed by men who are easy to identify as rapists. Reality- Women are often raped by normal acquaintances that resemble regular guys. Myth- Women who don t fight back haven t been raped. Reality- Rape occurs when one is forced to have sex against their will, whether they have decided to fight back or not. Myth- Intimate kissing or certain kinds of touching mean that intercourse is inevitable. Reality- Everyone s right to say no should be honored, regardless of the activity, which preceded it. Myth- Once a man reaches a certain point of arousal, sex is inevitable and they can t help forcing themselves upon a woman. Reality- Men are capable of exercising restraint in acting upon sexual urges. Myth- Most women lie about acquaintance rape because they have regrets after consensual sex. Reality- Acquaintance rape really happens to people you know, by people you know. Myth- Women who say no, really mean yes.

4 Reality- No means no. Myth- Certain behaviors such as drinking or dressing in a sexually appealing way make rape a woman s responsibility. Reality- Drinking or dressing in a sexually appealing way are not invitations for sex. Myth- Only women are sexually assaulted. Reality- Studies show that percent of males will be sexually violated at some point in their lifetimes. Myth- Most people report a rape. Reality- Most rapes go unreported. Male survivors of assault seldom report it. Myth- A woman cannot sexually assault a man. Reality- Women can assault men. It is most common when an older woman assaults a younger man. Myth- Only men in prison get raped. Reality- Men are assaulted in everyday environments, just as women are. Myth: It's not rape if the couple is dating or is married. Reality: Unwanted sexual activity in any relationship qualifies as sexual assault. Myth: Most victims are raped by strangers, in unfamiliar places or on dark nights. Reality: It is estimated that 80-85% of rapists are known to the adult they attack. "Acquaintance rape" by a friend, new acquaintance, or coworker is frequent, particularly among young, single women. Statistics show that 50% of sexual assaults occur in or around a woman's home, 50% during the day. Myth: Women often falsely accuse men of sexual assault or rape (for example, to get back at them, or because they regret or feel guilty about having sex). Reality: Nearly all rapes are truthfully reported, and, in fact, rapes are vastly underreported. Myth: Rape has to do with sex and passion. Reality: Rape has to do with interpersonal violence. Myth: Rapists have psychological problems. Reality: Most assailants are males with no history of mental disorder. Myth: Perpetrators of sexual assault come largely from certain races or backgrounds. Reality: Men and women of all races, ethnicities, ages, sexual orientations, economic and social classes are represented among assailants.

5 Myth: Only young women are at risk. Reality: Women of all ages are at risk, and 1 in 4 women will be assaulted in the course of her lifetime. Myth: If the victim didn't fight or try to run away, or there was no weapon or injuries sustained, rape did not occur. Reality: Threats of violence are a weapon, and a woman may not resist vigorously for fear of injury or death. Myth: Rape is caused by lust or uncontrollable sexual urges and the need for sexual gratification. Reality: Rape is an act of physical violence and domination that is not motivated by sexual gratification. Myth: Once a man gets sexually aroused, he can't just stop. Reality: Men do not physically need to have sex after becoming sexually excited. Moreover, they are still able to control themselves after becoming aroused. Myth: Women often lie about rape or falsely accuse someone of rape. Reality: Statistical studies indicate false reports make up 2% or less of the reported cases of sexual assault. This figure is approximately the same for other types of crimes. Only 1 out of 10 rapes are actually reported. Rapes by someone the victim knows are the least likely to be reported. Myth: Women provoke sexual assault by their appearance. Sexual attractiveness is a primary reason why a rapist selects a victim. Reality: Rapists do not select their victims by their appearance. They select victims who are vulnerable and accessible. Victims of sexual assault range in age groups from infants to the elderly. Sexual attractiveness is not an issue. Myth: Sexual assault is a topic that only concerns women, and men do not have to be concerned about sexual assault. Reality: According to recent rape crisis center statistics, men, both straight and gay, suffered 10% of the sexual assaults reported in the US last year. (Almost all were raped by other men.) In addition, men have wives, friends, sisters, mothers, and daughters who may someday need assistance in coping with sexual assault. Rape is a concern for everyone. Myth: If a woman really did not want to be raped, she could fight off her attacker. Reality: Even if the rapist is not carrying a weapon, the element of surprise, shock, and fear, or the threat of harm can overpower a survivor.

6 FACTS ABOUT SEXUAL ASSAULT - Approximately, 1.8 million adolescents in the U.S. have been the victims of sexual assault. - 25% of girls and 17% of boys will be sexually assaulted by the age of % of female sexual assaults occur when the victim is between the ages of 12 and Teens 16 to 19 years of age are 3 ½ times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault. - Each year, about 4,000 incidents of rape or other types of sexual assault occur in public schools across the country. - 7 out of 10 rape or sexual assault victims know their attackers. - The large majority of rapes and sexual assaults are not reported. 60% of sexual assaults are not reported to the police. - 42% of girls younger than 15 years report that their first intercourse was non- consensual. - A history of sexual abuse has been linked to high- risk behaviors including having unprotected sex, experimentation with drugs and alcohol, and high rates of eating disorders. - 48% of surveyed teens believe that if a girl says yes to sex and then changes her mind and the guy has sex with her anyway, it is not sexual assault. According to the law, it is in fact rape. - 41% of surveyed teens believe that if a girl had sex with a guy before, it is not sexual assault if he forces her to have sex later. According to the law, it is in fact sexual assault. - In a study of high school students, 56% of girls and 76% of boys believed that forced sex was acceptable under some circumstances. - In high school 1 in 5 had experienced forced sex (rape) and half of these girls told no one about it. - In high school 1 in 11 reported being forced to have sex when they didn t want to. - I in 4 college women will be the victim of a sexual assault. - 1/3 of the college women are 1 st year students between

7 - 1 in 12 college men admitted acts that met th3e legal definition of rape. - 60% of the sexual assaults occurred in the residence hall. - 55% of gang rapes are committed by fraternities, 40% by sports teams, and 5% other. - 80% of the sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows. - Fewer than 5% of attempted/completed rapes are reported. - Alcohol/drug are involved in over 70% of all sexual assaults. - Sex offenders can be any age, race, class, or occupation. - Most attacks occur in or around the victim s home. - 1 in 6 men is sexually assaulted at some point in his life. Who are the Perpetrators - 99% of people who rape are men, 60% are Caucasian. - Between 62% (4) and 84% (1) of survivors knew their attacker. - 8% of men admits committing acts that meet the legal definition of rape or attempted rape. Of these men who committed rape, 84% said that what they did was definitely not rape. - More than one in five men report "becoming so sexually aroused that they could not stop themselves from having sex, even though the woman did not consent. - 35% of men report at least some degree of likelihood of raping if they could be assured they wouldn't be caught or punished. - One out of every 500 college students is infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. - First- year students in college tend to believe more rape myths than seniors. - Sexual assault offenders were substantially more likely than any other category of violent criminal to report experiencing physical or sexual abuse as children.

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