ALL THE BEST INGREDIENTS

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1 ALL THE BEST INGREDIENTS A full length play in one act James Bosley 60 Cooper Street 2E New York NY

2 ALL THE BEST INGREDIENTS a full-length play in one act THE CHARACTERS - GUARDS -- a black woman -- a white woman -- a white guy PRISONERS -- a white guy -- a black guy -- Vic's wife, Latina --Ages can be anywhere from SETTING - A tiny prison deep under ground. THE SET - There are 2 playing areas The guards office and the dungeon. These can be arranged according to the director and the configuration of the house. The production in New York separated the areas on opposite sides of the house, facing each other, with an aisle through the audience connecting them.

3 Excerpt from ALL THE BEST INGREDIENTS. Williams and Frank return to the office after being interrupted from their interrogation and torture of the prisoners. Whitman is at her station at the computer. What the hell s up? Waiting on a directive. How'd it go? Vic, man. You gotta watch him every second. I don't know, I think Tanya's the one. Yeah, what is this asking for breakfast shit? They asked for breakfast? Please and thank you. What do you expect? They're subversives. Don't let it get to you. I don t. You seemed a little off though, Frank. You okay? Must be these allergy pills. Yeah, that could do it. Sorry I used the "N" word, Jefferson. It's okay, Frank.

4 It just came out. Don't sweat it, man. Thanks. Hey no problem. Gimme some. (They trade pounds.) I'm going out to the vent, smoke a butt. Smoke two. You used the "N" word? (Jefferson exits) Well she uses it all the time. It's not the same. I know. She could write a memo. She wouldn't. So don't worry. I bet you feel worse about it than she does. Probably true.

5 You okay or what. I don't know. My allergies. That all? (Frank stands behind Whitman's chair. He puts his arms around her.) Frank... What. Jefferson. She's cool. I think she knows anyway. But she'd be wrong, wouldn't she? She'd be wrong? Yes. Because nothing's going on. Something is going on. Oh really? What. If nothing were going on we wouldn't be having this conversation, would we. But that's all we're having, a conversation.

6 Yes, but it's about something. But we're not doing anything. I know. We can't do anything. I know. You have your arms around me. Is that verboten? Yes. Why? It scares me. But it feels good. Yeah, but it scares me. (She removes his arms) Well that sucks. No, that's healthy. It's healthy? To be afraid?

7 Yeah, afraid of doing something stupid. Being afraid ruins it. Ruins what? There's nothing going on. But there is. What. Feelings. Okay, feelings, but - Feelings are something. Not if we keep them to ourselves. If you feel something for someone, you can't deny that. You can't deny the feelings. I'm not saying deny them. You're saying ignore them. I'm saying - what am I saying - I'm saying - okay, you have feelings for someone - You have feelings for me. Yes. You know that.

8 Okay go ahead. I'm saying - You have feelings for someone. You can't ignore them because you can't help it, you see the person and you get excited. That's all well and good. What I'm saying is, can't we just accept the feelings? Enjoy them? For what they are? Without jumping into something stupid? Did I say jump into something stupid? You didn't say it but... What did you think, I was gonna maul you on the desk top? Well that's the fantasy, isn't it? Yeah but it's just a fantasy. You don't like the fantasy? I love the fantasy. So what's the problem? The problem is that you're afraid. What do you want me to say. I am afraid. Should I deny that? But it takes the fun out of it.

9 But this is fun, isn't it? The thrill? It is for me, even if it is just a fantasy. Me too. I get excited waking up everyday. Coming in here... But the fantasy is based on something. Something real. But you'd rather not deal with that part. It's not real unless we make it real. The feelings are real. But acting on them would be wrong. Expressing our feelings would be wrong. It's not only wrong, it's against procedures. Everything is against procedures. We get caught, you know what happens. We're back on the surface. You want that? Sometimes I wonder. Up there in all that chaos. With no job? There are people up there eating their pets. I know but... this fantasy that we both have about each other is what then, it's ridiculous, it's bullshit, it's moot. So what do we have. We have a fantasy that's moot, and a cupcake maybe. (Jefferson re-enters)

10 I love the cupcakes. I love the cupcakes too! I'm ready for a cupcake. You smoked two cigarettes already? You want a cupcake, Jefferson? Sure. What if I told you you couldn't have one. I'd be pissed off. Because you like cupcakes. You know I do. And what if I said you can't have a cupcake, but you can think about having one, and just thinking about having one should make you happy. I'd say you were one fucked up guy. Thank you. Cute, Frank. I don't get it.

11 I was making an analogy. Not a very accurate one. I thought it was. No. Cupcakes? No. I'm feeling like another cigarette. You don't need another cigarette. Yeah, no more cigarettes. Please. You should quit. Just sit there and think about smoking one. Fantasize about inhaling that rich tobacco flavor. Have a cupcake, Jefferson. Let's all have one. Maybe we should go easy on the cupcakes. Come on Frank. Don't be square, Frank. We already had one. I didn't.

12 Cupcakes, Frank. I don't want one. Why not? He's pouting. I'm not pouting. You are. Okay I am. Are we having cupcakes or am I going out for another smoke. Break 'em out Frank. Fine. You're really not having one? (Frank unlocks the cabinet, pulls out a large white bakery box, opens the lid, offers the box to Jefferson. She takes a cupcake. Frank offers the box to Whitman. She takes a cupcake. Frank returns the box to the cabinet. Locks it.) No. Have a cupcake with us.

13 No thank you. (Jefferson and Whitman look at each other. Whitman shrugs. They bite into their cupcakes.) - IN THE DUNGEON... Why don't they just kill us and get it over with. They can't. Against procedures. They have to break us. Get us to recant. Maybe we could fake it. Fake it? Fake recanting. Say what they want us to say... Don't Vic....then we recant. We recant our recanting? Yes! Once we're out of here! We'd lose all credibility. So?

14 Not to mention that it would be a very fucked up thing to do. We get out we reveal conditions - Never work. Worth the shot though, no? Vic, darling, no. What are we gonna do then? We persevere. We rot here. If that's what it takes. If that's what what takes? Remind me. What exactly are we doing here? We're not giving up. Not bending to their demands. So it's not that we're doing anything, it's that we're not doing anything. We're staying strong, we're staying loyal. If they would kill me and get it over with...

15 Me too, Vic. In the best of all possible worlds, kill me and get it over with. But this isn't the best of all possible worlds. So we play the hand we're dealt. We don't sign. We take it day by day. But Tanya, if they said I could hold you again. Just hold you. That's all. For one hour. Wouldn't that be... Wouldn't that be worth everything? The rest of it I can deal with... it's never being able to touch you again... Make him stop, Tanya.... One hour. Tanya? Fifteen minutes! Just to hold you? I'd give them everything. Stop it Vic. What hope is there anyway? This is impossible. Maybe we should accept that. What are we going to change by being here? We have the others to think of. The others. They're out there. We're in here. Careful, Vic. They're out there, eating, sleeping with their wives... They're keeping up the struggle. We've worked too hard, Vic, we've been through too much.

16 Innocent people were killed. I am sorry about that. Why shouldn't I say so? I love you. That's all that matters. I'd give them whatever they asked for if I could hold you for one hour. Vic - I love you more than anything, don't you love me more than anything? The man I love would never suggest recanting. (He looks at her, drops his head. Silence.) Lunch, Vic. What do you want for lunch. (no reply) Koz? We recant, we get out, we recant our recanting...? You know what I like about lunch? So many items to choose from. So many menus. You want a sandwich, fine. Pizza, fine. You want eggs, fine. You can have a hot lunch or a cold lunch. You can go to a restaurant, or you can grab something from a pushcart to eat on the run. Lunch, anything goes. Or you could skip lunch altogether. Skip lunch, and later have a nice big dinner. A picnic. How does a picnic sound? What if it rains?

17 It won't rain. It might. If it rains we gather everything up and run under a tree. Never run under a tree. There could be lightning. We take the blanket and put it over our heads like a tent. Standing up? Yeah, standing up with the blanket over our heads, eating fried chicken, drinking beer, under our little tent, right out in the rain and thunder. Sound like fun? That might not be bad. Vic? (No reply) We don't need Vic. What do you mean? It might be nice just the two of us. I think you better come Vic.

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