Tapping World Summit 2009

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Kenneth Stafford
7 years ago
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1 Day 4: Sandra Radomski Kost

2 Weight Loss: This Time Can Be Different By Sandra Radomski Kost, ND, LCSW Introduction Weight loss has been my struggle my entire life. My main credential for this work is that I was the fattest kid in school growing up. By 2nd grade I was the shortest and fattest child. By 8th grade I began the seesaw of losing weight and gaining weight. My parents weighed over 300 pounds and my brother weighs that now. Everyone in my family but me has adult onset diabetes- Mother, father, brother, aunts, uncles and cousins on both sides of the family. My genetics were clearly against me. I have considered myself a foodaholic. I have done crazy things around food. I have eaten half gallons of ice cream and once a dozen frozen croissants. I majored in psychology in college with the goal of helping people with their weight issues. I led weight loss groups in the 1970 s and 1980 s but now I feel I have many more tools to share. My wish is that starting today you will have more hope and knowledge to create the body and life you want to live; THAT THIS TIME CAN BE DIFFERENT. Diet and weight issues may seem trivial but they are central to how we feel about ourselves and how we present ourselves to the world. Weight is intimately related to our self-esteem, our relationships or lack of relationships, our careers, our friendships, and our satisfaction with our lives. The question is always, why is this so hard? The answer is that we are battling both nature and nurture. We are battling both our physiology and our emotions. Our physiology can increase cravings and compel us to eat. Most importantly, we have often learned to use food to numb us and handle our emotions. If you do not find a way to control emotional overeating, all of the knowledge of proper diets is of no use. Basically, the majority of people already know how they should be eating. Their progress, like with any other addiction, is blocked by both the craving for the substance (in this case food) and by the emotions and limiting beliefs the food/addiction is trying to cover up. Therefore, we will address eliminating both the cravings and the emotions we do not want to feel. 2

3 Emotional Overeating I believe that most of us basically know what is keeping us overweight. We have read all of the books and all of the magazine articles. We know we should not be eating bags of potato chips, or eating in front of the TV, or frequenting fast foods restaurants daily. The problem is that we let our emotions rule our eating. We mistake hunger for needing relief from negative emotions. If we eat enough or fast enough, we do not feel our feelings. A foodaholic is similar to an alcoholic. After the food or alcohol is over, the same problems you had before are still there. Eating is often used to tranquilize ourselves. However if you are eating emotionally, no diet is going to work. Tapping phrases for Emotional overeating: Even though in the past emotions have driven my eating, my food intake has nothing to do with my emotions now. Even though in the past I let emotions rule my eating, I know this time can be different. Even though I grab for food without thinking, I choose to pause and know I can keep my commitment to myself. Negative emotions The following are examples of Tapping phrases for some of the negative emotions we attempt to avoid. Scroll down or turn the page to choose from the positive choice statements to complete the Tapping set up phrases. You can tap on the emotions in general as well as the specific incidents that provoke that emotion. 3

4 Anxiety Even though I can t manage my anxiety without overeating Even though I eat whenever I am nervous Anger Even though I stuff my anger down with food Even though I am afraid of my anger Boredom Even though I count on food to entertain me Even though I eat to avoid something I don t want to do Deprivation Even though I am scared of not eating my favorite food Discouragement Even though biting into food makes me feel better Even though nothing ever works for me Even though I feel so discouraged it doesn t matter Loneliness Even though eating comforts me Even though I count on food to keep me company Sadness Even though food comforts me when I am sad Even though I think food will make me feel better 4

5 Positive choice statements: I deeply and completely accept myself. I choose to be calm and confident. I choose to be happy food or no food. I choose to handle with love and confidence. I choose to not add to my burdens by gaining weight. Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. I choose to know this time can be different. I choose to remember my commitment to myself. I choose to find other comforts that are as dependable as food. Limiting Beliefs Beliefs about themselves, others, and the consequences of weighing less block weight loss. People are often not in true alignment with being OK losing weight. We need to ask questions such as: What happened last time you lost weight? What was going on when you gained weight? What is the downside to losing weight? What is the upside to staying at this weight? 5

6 Common limiting beliefs are: Safety often concerns men, past experiences, jealousy, expectations. Possibility often concerns about family history, past failures, genetics, nothing works. Deserving often concerns about guilt, not good enough, past traumas. SAFETY- It is dangerous to lose weight. Even though it scares me to lose weight, it is now safe for me to weigh less. Even though bad things happened when I was thin before, this time can be different. Even though I am afraid of male attention, it is now safe to be slender. Even though I am afraid of what will happen if I really know my feelings, it is safe for me to feel my feelings and not turn to food. Even though my friends/family/spouse might be jealous, it is safe for me to take care of myself. Even though I am afraid around men/women, I know I am safe even when I weigh less. Even though I won t know who I am if I lose weight, it is safe for me to weigh less. 6

7 POSSIBLILITY- I have always failed. Even though I have always been fat, I am open to the possibility that this time can be different. Even though everyone in my family is fat, it is possible for me to be different. Even though I was told by my family it was my genetics to be heavy, it is possible for me to be elegantly slender. Even though I have failed before, I am open to the possibility that this time will be different. Even though I have lost weight and then gained it back, I have more tools to succeed now. Even though my family members are all fat, it is possible for me to have support in taking care of myself. Even though I feel sad, lonely, angry, resentful, guilty, ashamed, etc, I can still eat on my plan. DESERVING- I don t deserve to reach my goal. Even though I am ashamed of how I look, I deserve to love how I look. Even though I feel guilty about, I deserve to take care of myself. Even though I have regained my weight so many times before, I deserve for this time to be different. Even though I have binged on food, I deserve to be elegantly slender. Even though I have sneaked food, I deserve to care enough about myself to eat on my plan. Cravings Cravings for our comfort foods often are the triggers that get us to eat inappropriately. You can use non-traditional Tapping phrases to eliminate the cravings for various foods. 7

8 TAP AWAY YOUR CRAVINGS Tap on each of the Tapping points says this entire phrase at each point: Even though I crave this, I choose to pass it by for now. You can use Tapping for eliminating cravings before, during and after exposure to the trigger foods. You can use this Tapping away your cravings with a. Pictures in the workbook b. Thinking of favorite foods c. Actual foods 8

9 Food as Reward We often use food as a reward for hard work, tiredness, celebration and a means of social contact. Even though I eat when I want a reward, I choose to find other non-food celebrations. Even though I feel I deserve food when I have worked hard, I know there are other ways to feel good. Even though I feel entitled to eat when I am tired, I have other ways to increase my energy. Physical causes of failure to lose weight The primary necessity is to get control of your emotional overeating. You need to no longer eat in response to emotions or negative beliefs. If you have solved this aspect of your food intake and still have not achieved your goal, you can look at several hidden physical causes of weight gain. Allergies Tapping can be used to reduce sensitivities to specific foods. If allergic to food your body craves it while it also holds onto water weight and bloat to dilute the presumed poison. Grains are the worst culprits followed by dairy, fruits, vegetables, and then protein. Hormones Imbalances of the hormones, leptin, insulin and gherlin contribute to cravings and doing crazy things around food. The Timing Leptin Diet balances these hormones and reduces struggles. You no longer have the need to feed. Tapping is used to help you stick to the eating plan. 9

10 Notes 10

Establishing Healthy Boundaries in Relationships (Adapted by C. Leech from Tools for Coping with Life s Stressors from the Coping.

Establishing Healthy Boundaries in Relationships (Adapted by C. Leech from Tools for Coping with Life s Stressors from the Coping.org website) Introduction People with low self-esteem have their major