Amnon became so obsessed with his sister Tamar that he made himself ill. She was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her.

Transcription

1 Sermon, , David, Amnon and Tamar 1 2 Timothy 3:16 says All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. All Scripture is God-breathed. All Scripture, all of the Bible, is God-breathed, God inspired. Did I ever tell you what the New Testament Greek word for all here means? It means all! All means all. All scripture is God-breathed. Does it say that only positive scripture is God breathed/inspired? Does it say that only comfortable scripture is God breathed/inspired? Does it say that only easy scripture is God breathed/inspired? Today the subject matter from the Bible is unpleasant and maybe uncomfortable. So much so that, if you need to step out (tune out) for any reason during it, please feel free. But it is God s Word. And though it is hard; it is important. Title slide We are talking about David, the son of Jesse, from the OT. He is the Giant slayer, the warrior-poet, the singer of songs, the great leader of men and great king of Israel, the ancestor of Jesus Christ. and the one of whom God said David is a man after my own heart. Today, we come to the place in David s story where his children are grown. The Bible tells us David had many wives. We know the names of 5 of them, and then there s a place where it says David had more wives and children. Today s story is about his son Amnon from one wife, and Amnon s half-sister Tamar, from another wife. 2 Samuel 13 In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David. 2 Amnon became so obsessed with his sister Tamar that he made himself ill. She was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her. 3 Now Amnon had an adviser named Jonadab son of Shimeah, David s brother. Jonadab was a very shrewd man. 4 He asked Amnon, Why do you, the king s son, look so haggard morning after morning? Won t you tell me? Amnon said to him, I m in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom s sister. 5 Go to bed and pretend to be ill, Jonadab said. When your father comes to see you, say to him, I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me

2 Sermon, , David, Amnon and Tamar 2 something to eat. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I may watch her and then eat it from her hand. 6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to him, I would like my sister Tamar to come and make some special bread in my sight, so I may eat from her hand. 7 David sent word to Tamar at the palace: Go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him. 8 So Tamar went to the house of her brother Amnon, who was lying down. She took some dough, kneaded it, made the bread in his sight and baked it. 9 Then she took the pan and served him the bread, but he refused to eat. Send everyone out of here, Amnon said. So everyone left him. 10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, Bring the food here into my bedroom so I may eat from your hand. And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. 11 But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, Come to bed with me, my sister. 12 No, my brother! she said to him. Don t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don t do this wicked thing. 13 What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you. 14 But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her. 15 Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, Get up and get out! 16 No! she said to him. Sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you have already done to me. But he refused to listen to her. 17 He called his personal servant and said, Get this woman out of my sight and bolt the door after her. 18 So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. She was wearing an ornate robe, for this was the kind of garment the virgin daughters of the king wore. 19 Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornate robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went. 20 Her brother Absalom said to her, Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother. Don t take this thing to heart. And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom s house, a desolate woman. 21 When King David heard all this, he was furious. 22 And Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar. God is concerned about rape and violent, forceful abuse of women. The Bible makes it clear that He cares because he tells the stories of these things in his Word. All Scripture is God-breathed. And God does not hide these difficult events from us in biblical history In the book of Genesis, God tells another story like this. After Jacob and his brother Esau are reunited, Jacob s daughter, Dinah, goes out to meet the women of the land that they have just moved to.

3 Sermon, , David, Amnon and Tamar 3 And one of the Canaanite men takes her and forcefully abuses her. So, Jacob and his sons wipe out all the men in the family of the rapist. And then in the book of Judges there is the horror story of the Levite who has his concubine wife raped and killed by other Israelite men, so he cuts up her body into 12 pieces and sends 1 to each tribe of Israel. And Israel erupts in a civil war over it. God is concerned about violent abuse of women. He remembers their stories. He tells their stories. The issue is not swept under the rug and only whispered about. It s in there. And so it should be discussed with us. I believe God has these stories in his Word for 2 main purposes. 1. God wants men and boys warned against it. And 2. God wants women and girls protected from it. So, a few thoughts of warning from the story of Amnon and Tamar. 1. Forceful abuse of women destroys lives and divides families. Tamar s story ends with: And Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar. Absalom never said a word, until about 2 years later, when Absalom conspires to get Amnon alone and he kills him. And David s family is plunged into a civil war. It divides and destroys them in some ways. Tamar is cared for by her brother, Absalom. He takes her into his house. And she lives with him, because in this culture men wanted to marry a virgin. In our culture, rape does not make a woman desolate or less desirable for marriage. But it can cause her physical, emotional, and psychological pain and problems that affect her other relationships and her life. 2. Forceful abuse of women sets an evil example for sons. Trying to appeal to Amnon to stop, Tamar says,

4 Sermon, , David, Amnon and Tamar 4 And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. A fool in the Bible is not a silly person. A fool is an immoral person. That s closer to what the word means, and you can see that in how it s used here. It s the person who knows what is wrong, but who does it anyway. Amnon is a wicked fool an evil immoral person. And, we have to consider that we know David took what he wanted with Bathsheba. Bathsheba was married to Uriah. But David took her anyway. And as king, could she have said no to him? Did David do this with anyone else? Did he just take what he wanted any time? Did Absalom learn this behavior from his father? Violence against women sets an evil example for sons and young men. 3. Forceful abuse of women is often regretted deeply. In Tamar s story, Amnon forced himself on her. And then immediately after he takes her, what happens? The story says he hated her He hated her more than he had loved her. Immediately after taking her, he hated her. Which is clearly because he hated what he had done. He hated what he had done to her. He hated his own actions. We sometimes have a love-hate relationship with our sin People who perpetrate violence against women very often regret it deeply. They regret the pain it causes their victims. They regret the consequences and shame they experience when they are caught or exposed or incarcerated. They regret the destruction they cause to the innocent lives of others. One more truth from Tamar s story. 4. Forceful abuse of women is about power. It says, But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her. Since he was stronger than her. Rape is about power. Men are usually physically stronger than women. So they have some power.

5 Sermon, , David, Amnon and Tamar 5 But there is another, who has All Power, Who we will answer to someday if we use our power in a wicked foolish way. God is the defender of the powerless. And he says, It is mine to avenge, I will repay. says the Lord. God breathed these stories in the Bible, because he wants men and boys to be warned It is detestable to forcefully violate a woman. It is destructive. It is evil. It is shameful. And He will always be more powerful than those who do it. And God breathed these stories in the Bible, because he wants women and girls to know he cares. I think we can see that care in Jesus. Firstly, I d say to Tamar 1. Jesus protects women In Jn 8 men drag a woman caught in adultery in front of Jesus in a public place And they use her to try to trap Jesus. -Will he say to stone her as God s law had said and not be the merciful, compassionate person he appeared to be? -Or will he not say to stone her and then he would be a breaker of God s law? -What does Jesus say? Let he who is without sin be the first to stone her. And her accusers drop their stones and go away one by one. Jesus protected the woman. Jesus defended her. Jesus still wants to protect the abused and the powerless. I think we can also say to Tamar 2. Jesus respects women. At the wedding in Cana of Galilee, when his mother speaks up and tells him they have no more wine. Jesus says, What does that have to do with me? But then he does what his mother is suggesting, He performs his first public miracle and changes the water to wine. He doesn t treat women as inferior. He respects his mother.

6 Sermon, , David, Amnon and Tamar 6 After Jesus is risen, the 1 st one to whom he appears at the empty tomb is Mary Magdalene. He gives her the message to tell his disciples He has risen! And this is unusual for the culture he was in, that treated women as inferior. But Jesus gave a woman the first post-resurrection gospel message mission, because Jesus treated women with respect. I think we can also say to Tamar 3. Jesus cares for women. At the cross, when Jesus is dying, he tells the disciple John Behold your mother, and he looks at and is referring to his mother Mary. And then he tells his mother, Behold your son, referring to John. Jesus is saying take care of her for me. Jesus cares for women. In Luke 13, Jesus heals a woman who had a spinal condition. She was bent over for 18 years. He heals her on the sabbath, which God had said in the OT was a day to rest from regular work. Some Jews attacked Jesus saying, shouldn t you heal on the 6 days for work and give healing a rest on the sabbath. But Jesus said, Why shouldn t this daughter of God who Satan bound for 18 years be healed on a Sabbath? Jesus touched and healed women often. He had compassion on them when others did not. Jesus cared. Lastly, we could say to Tamar 4. Jesus stands with women who experience abuse. Jesus himself suffered horribly on the cross. He also experienced terrible abuse and suffering after he was arrested and on his way to the cross. Jesus knows what it is like to hurt deeply, to be abused, to be dehumanized. Jesus stands with those who have been abused. He is numbered with those who have been assaulted. He is one of those who have been overpowered physically. Jesus suffered as we have suffered, so he can empathize with us.

7 Sermon, , David, Amnon and Tamar 7 Hebrews 2:18 says, Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help us when we are being tested. He is able to help us in our trials and suffering. Hebrews 4 says For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with us... Jesus was one of us. He is like us. And he experienced much of what we have experienced. If not identically, at least in many ways and to a great degree. So he can sympathize. He can empathize with us. He knows. He cares. But remember, Jesus did not stay on the cross suffering. Jesus did not stay in his suffering. Jesus rose again. Jesus was not defined by those who attacked and abused him. Jesus overcame them. Jesus overcame their power. Jesus overcame their abuse. Jesus experienced loss and pain. Jesus was scarred by it. But it did not destroy him. And it did not define him. He used it to give God glory. Through faith in God, Jesus was able to rise again. Jesus protects women. Jesus respects women. Jesus care for women. And Jesus stands with women who experience abuse. If you have experienced forceful abuse, and you would like help, you can find some information about counselors we recommend on our website in the manuscript of this sermon today. Let s pray.

8 Sermon, , David, Amnon and Tamar 8 AWC recommends: Joelle Kemerer-Archer (412) Gloria Burkey (724) (office in Greensburg) Christian Counseling Associates of W. Pa. (724) Also consider attending our Grief Group. See the bulletin for info.