L6 Non Verbal Communication

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1 L6 Non Verbal Communication 1. What is Non Verbal communication? 2. The Importance of Non Verbal communication 3. The Components of Non Verbal communication 4. Evaluate your Non Verbal communication skills 5. Improve Non Verbal communication skills INTRODUCTION: This lecture covers the intriguing subject of body language. It explores what it means, how it presents, how it is used both in a positive and negative sense, how to read it, perceive it, interpret it, how to control your own and how to react to it. It also covers many other signals that we just take for granted eg road signs, building signs, directory boards, exit signs and every other type of sign you can think of. 1. What is Non Verbal Communication It is expressing with modes of communication that are not verbal or written. The modes could be in the form of gestures, body language, eye contact, voice tones, even signs eg roadside. WHAT S BODY LANGUAGE? Body Language is non-verbal communication. It is the subconscious way we move our bodies, especially eyes, mouth and hands, when we are addressing and communicating with other people. Body Language is therefore very relevant to management and leadership, and to all aspects of work and business where communications can be seen and physically observed among people. [Of course body language is also important in personal relationships as well!] It is possible to learn as much from a person due to the way they position themselves, the gestures they make, their facial expressions, the tone of their voice as you can from the words they speak. However, this takes time and skill to learn and it is different in each culture. These actions don t just tell you about what the speaker is saying but also how that person is feeling. It is not unusual or uncommon for kinemics (body language) [or kinesics (pronounced 'kineesicks') which is the study of body language and communication] to contradict a person s words. For example, someone who says I love your biscuits while at the same time rolling their eyes and shaking their head in a negative way is lying as the convergence does not relate. In other words the actions really mean the opposite to what is being said.

2 Also body language works both ways: Your own body language reveals your feelings and meanings to others. Other people's body language reveals their feelings and meanings to you. The sending and receiving of body language signals happens on conscious and unconscious levels and plays a huge part in our overall understanding of what is being communicated in a face to face encounter. It is safe to say that today, body language represents a very significant proportion of the meaning that is conveyed and interpreted between people. Many body language experts and sources seem to agree that between 50-80% of all human communication is non-verbal. [This figure has been extrapolated by Chele from a number of studies undertaken in the USA, some of which have been disputed so I have adjusted it accordingly to give an indication only.] So while body language statistics vary according to the situation, it is generally accepted that non-verbal communications are very important in how we understand each other (or fail to), especially in face-to-face and one-toone communications, and most definitely when the communication involves an emotional or attitudinal element. We form our opinions of someone we meet for the first time in just a few seconds. This initial instinctual assessment is based far more on what we see and feel about the other person than on the words they speak. On many occasions we form a strong view about a new person before they speak a single word. Consequently, body language is very influential in forming impressions on first meetings. The effect happens both ways - to and from: When we meet someone for the first time, their body language, on conscious and unconscious levels, largely determines our initial impression of them. In turn, when someone meets us for the first time, they form their initial impression of us largely from our body language and non-verbal signals. And this two-way effect of body language continues throughout communications and relationships between people every time we meet someone for the first time, throughout our lives. Body language is constantly being exchanged and interpreted between people, even though much of the time this is happening on an unconscious level. Remember - while you are interpreting (consciously or unconsciously) the body language of other people, so other people are constantly interpreting yours. For example, our reactions to other people's eyes - movement, focus, expression, etc - and their reactions to our eyes - contribute greatly to mutual assessment and understanding, consciously and unconsciously. With no words at all, massive feelings can be conveyed in a single glance. The metaphor which describes the eyes of two lovers meeting across a crowded room is not only found in old romantic movies. It's based on scientific fact regarding the strong powers of non-verbal communications and people often relate to love at first glance!

3 These effects - and similar powerful examples - have existed in real human experience and behaviour for thousands of years. The human body and our instinctive reactions have evolved to an amazingly clever degree, which many of us are unaware of, ignore or take for granted. However, we should all learn how to recognize these signs more clearly as it would certainly reduce the number of misunderstandings and misguided decisions and actions that can, and often do occur. The people with the most conscious awareness of, and capabilities to read, body language tend to have an advantage over those whose appreciation is limited largely to the unconscious. 2. The Importance of Non Verbal communication What we say is as important as how we say it Spoken Words are only 7% of our communication First impressions through non verbal modes Globalisation highlights cultural diversity Emotions are expressed best through non verbal modes If used ineffectively or unknowingly, non verbal cues may lead to a disastrous: interview meeting conversation business deal As a professional accountant you will be expected to perform in an appropriate manner. Understanding Non Verbal communication will help you in your daily role as you interact with colleagues and clients.

4 3. Components of Non Verbal Communication Non-verbal communication includes: Pitch Tone Volume Touch Gestures Facial expressions Body posture Proximity Eye contact Dress and appearance Paralanguage Haptics Kinesics Proxemics Oculesics

5 3.1 Paralanguage What does your voice say about you? Pitch High pitch voices are associated with anger, nervousness, and helplessness, while lack of self confidence and depression is often expressed through a lower pitch. Tone When said in a strong tone of voice, words might be interpreted as enthusiastic / over powering. The same words if said in a hesitant tone might suggest lack of interest. Volume People who speak very loudly are often perceived by others as aggressive and overbearing. Soft spoken people could be perceived as timid, polite or even disinterested. 3.2 Haptics Touch can be used to communicate affection, familiarity, sympathy and other emotions. Examples: 3.3 Kinesics Holding hands; Kissing; Hugging; Tickling and Shaking hands is the study of Body Language o Facial Expressions Universally recognized emotions shown through facial expressions. Including: ease, fear, anger, surprise, hate, contempt, disgust, happiness, and sadness o Gestures Gestures include movement of the hands, face, or other parts of the body. o Posture The common messages body posture conveys: Crossed arms = defensive Slumped posture = low spirits Lean forward = open & interested Lean away = defensive or disinterested Uncrossed arms = willingness to listen Erect posture = high spirits, energy and confidence

6 3.4 Proxemics The concept goes something like this: The more comfortable we are with people means that we are OK with them getting up close to us. The less comfortable means we try to stay clear of them! It is the study of how people use physical space in interpersonal interaction 3.5 Oculesics It is the study of eye contact during any interaction Tips for maintaining a good eye contact: Don t just stare off into space Your gaze at one individual [while conversing in a group] should not be more than 5 seconds. Look at everyone. Look at reactive listeners to assess their reaction

7 3.6 Appearance It communicates how we feel and how we want to be perceived by others. Initial Impression is based on appearance Grooming and hygiene Posture Facial expressions Handshake Verbal greetings Personal adornments Clothing To present a professional appearance and inspire confidence: Clothing should fit properly Be in good repair (free from tears, missing buttons, broken zippers, uneven hemlines) Shoes should be neat, clean, and comfortable. 4. Evaluating Your Non Verbal Communication Skills 4.1 Eye Contact Is this source of connection missing, too intense, or just right in yourself or in the person you are looking at? 4.2 Facial Expression What is your face showing? Is it masklike and inexpressive, or emotionally present and filled with interest? What do you see as you look into the faces of others? 4.3 Tone of Voice Does your voice project warmth, confidence, and delight, or is it strained and blocked? What do you hear as you listen to other people? 4.4 Posture and Gesture Does your body look still and immobile, or relaxed? Sensing the degree of tension in your shoulders and jaw answers this question. What do you observe about the degree of tension or relaxation in the body of the person you are speaking to? 4.5 Touch Remember, what feels good is relative. How do you like to be touched? Who do you like to have touching you? Is the difference between what you like and what the other person likes obvious to you?

8 5. How to improve Non verbal communication skills? Observe closely for tell tale signs Speak at an appropriate pace neither too fast nor too slow Maintain the right kind of eye contact Dress tidily appearance matters! Your body talks watch it! Watch out for negative signs / gestures like slouching, staring, etc. Acknowledge what others are saying either by a nod or by small sounds like umm, oh, etc. Avoid excessive movement of hands during presentations / meetings. It could create distraction.

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