THE WEDDING SERVICE. 1. Persons who desire to be married in the Methodist Church must approach the

Transcription

1 THE WEDDING SERVICE GENERAL DIRECTIONS: 1. Persons who desire to be married in the Methodist Church must approach the Minister before giving notice to the Registrar (giving notice is the equivalent to the reading of the Banns in the Parish Church). The Minister shall advise them of the legal preliminaries to the solemnization of marriages, such as - a) the requirements about residence in a given registration district; b) the parental consent needed by minors (those under 18 years of age); and c) the three weeks' notice to be given to a Registrar before a certificate is issued (forty-eight hours for a certificate with licence). You will need to take your birth certificates, your decree absolute, if you are divorced, or a death certificate if you have been widowed and wish to re-marry. The Minister shall also ascertain whether there is any impediment to the proposed marriage - e.g. not contracting bigamous or incestuous relationships.

2 2. For the purposes of law, the Minister may not proceed with the ceremony until he is in possession of a valid certificate or certificates (with or without licence) relating to the marriage. (Having given notice, the Registrar displays the certificate for three weeks, after which she will inform you of the date on which you can collect it and it would be helpful to make sure the Minister gets it as soon as possible after that). 3. In addition to making preparations for the carrying out of the service and indicating to the couple what they will have to say and do during the ceremony, the Minister shall ensure that the Christian understanding of marriage and its obligations is explained to the couple. 4. Apart from the legal form of words, where it is necessary to use the full names, it is desirable and more personal to use only the Christians names of the couple. 5. The current cost of a wedding ceremony is 140 (as at 1/9/03). The break-down of the costs are as follows: 70 chapel hire; 35 minister s fee; 25 organist s fee & 10 steward s fee. N.B. In the service the symbols %% and $$ are used for the groom's and bride's Christian names, and %%% and $$$ for their full names. THE SERVICE:

3 1. [The persons to be married stand together, the woman on the left hand of the man, in the presence of two witnesses (who must be over 16 years of age and be able to see and hear what happens). The Bride usually processes into the church on the right arm of the person who is giving her "away" (Father or friend) whilst some suitable music is played (the most popular being the "Bridal March" by Wagner), the Groom and Best Man wait at the front of the church. As the Bride enters the church the congregation stand. When the Bride has reached the front she may pass her bouquet to her Bride's-maid or to the Minister to place it on the Communion Table, she may also remove her veil from over her face if she is wearing one]. 2. [A hymn, of your choice, may be sung] The Declaration of Purpose - 3. [The people standing the Minister says:] We are gathered here in the presence of God to witness the marriage of %% and $$, to support them with our prayers and to share in their joy. Marriage is given by God. It is not to be entered upon or thought of lightly or selfishly; but

4 responsibly and in the love of God. According to the teaching of Christ, marriage is the life-long union in body, mind and spirit, of one man and one woman. It is his will that in marriage the love of man and woman should be fulfilled in the wholeness of their life together, in mutual companionship, helpfulness and care. By the help of God this love grows and deepens with the years. Such marriage is the foundation of true family life, and, when blessed with the gift of children, is God's chosen way for the continuance of mankind and the bringing up of children in security and trust. The union of husband and wife is in Scripture compared to the union of Christ and his Church, for he loved the Church and gave himself for it. %% and $$ are now to marry each other, and to seek God's blessing for their married life. If anyone knows of any reason why they may not lawfully marry, let him now declare it. The Legal Declarations - 4. [The Minister says to the persons who are to be married:]

5 I require and charge you both in the presence of God and of this congre- gation that if either of you knows anything to prevent you from being lawfully married you do now confess it. 5. [The man says in the presence of the authorized person (the Minister) and the two witnesses, as required by law:] I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, %%%, may not be joined in matrimony to $$$. [The woman says, in the presence of the same persons, as required by law:] I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, $$$, may not be joined in matrimony to %%%. [These declarations are usually split into short phrases which are repeated after the Minister] The Collect -

6 6. [The Congregation sit. The Minister says:] Let us pray. Almighty God, to whom all hearts are open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hidden: cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, that we may perfectly love you, and worthily magnify your holy Name, through Christ our Lord. Amen. The Confession - 7. [The Minister may say:] O God, your generous love surrounds us, and everything we enjoy comes from you. We confess our ingratitude for your goodness and our selfishness in using your gifts. We ask you to forgive us, and to fill us with true thankfulness, through Jesus Christ our Saviour, whom with you and the Holy Spirit we praise and worship for ever. Amen. The Ministry of the Word -

7 8. [The Minister reads a Bible Reading of your choice from the following selection:] a) Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends; as for prophecies they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect; but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in the mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully; even as I have been fully understood. So faith, hope, love abide, these three, but the greatest of these is love. It is love, then, that you should strive for (1 Corinthians 13: 4-13; 14: 1). b) For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with might through his Spirit in the inner man,

8 and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have power to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God (Ephesians 3: 14-19). c) Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience, forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him (Colossians 3: 12-16a, 17). The Vows - 9. [All stand and the Minister says:] O God, as you have brought %% and $$

9 together in love and trust, enable them through the power of your Holy Spirit to make and keep their vows, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 10. [The Minister says to the man:] %%, will you take $$ to be your lawful wedded wife, to live together according to the law of God in the holy estate of marriage? Will you love her, honour and keep her, and forsaking all others be faithful to her so long as you both shall live? 11. [The man answers:] I will. 12. [The Minister says to the woman:]

10 $$, will you take %% to be your lawful wedded husband, to live together according to the law of God in the holy estate of marriage? Will you love him, honour and keep him, and forsaking all others be faithful to him so long as you both shall live? 13. [The woman answers:] I will. 14. [The Minister may say to the father or friend:] Do you present $$ to be married to %%? [Then the father or friend answers:] I do. 15. [The father or friend then joins the right hand of the woman to the right hand of the man. They turn to face each other and the man says in the presence of the Minister and the two witnesses:]

11 I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, %%%, do take thee, $$$, to be my lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law; and to this I pledge myself. 16. [The woman then says in the presence of the same persons:] I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, $$$, do take thee, %%%, to be my lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law; and to this I pledge myself. [These promises are usually split into short phrases, which are repeated after the Minister] The Giving of the Ring(s) -

12 17. [The man and the woman loose hands, and the ring(s) are laid on the book by the Best Man; and the Minister says the prayer of blessing over them:] Bless, Lord, the giving of these rings (this ring), that they who wear them (he that gives it and she who wears it) may ever be faithful one to the other, and continue together in love, as long as they both shall live, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 18. [The Minister offers the ring to the woman, who puts it on the fourth finger of the man's left hand. The man then puts the woman's ring one the fourth finger of her left hand, and holding it in position the man and the woman say together:] With these rings (this ring) we pledge ourselves to each other, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. 19. [The man and the woman join their rights hands and the Minister says:] %% and $$

13 have together made their covenant before God and this company; they have made their vows to each other, and have shown their consent by joining their hands and by giving and receiving rings (a ring). I therefore pronounce them to be husband and wife, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Those whom God has joined together let no man put asunder. 20. [The Minister then places his right hand on their joined hands for the blessing:] God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, bless, protect and guide you. The Lord pour out the riches of his grace upon you, that you may live together in his peace, and finally, by his mercy, obtain everlasting life. Amen. 21. [The couple may kiss] 22. [A hymn of your choice may be sung] The Address

14 The Intercessions [The couple kneel as the Minister says:] Let us pray. All grace comes from you, O God, and you alone are the source of eternal life. Bless your servants %% and $$ That they may faithfully live together to the end of their lives. Be with them in all their happiness That your joy may be in them, and their joy may be full. Strengthen them in every time of trouble. That they may carry each other's burdens and so fulfil the law of Christ. Let your blessing be on their home That your peace may dwell there.

15 Let it be a place of welcome That its happiness may be freely shared. Continue to bless the families and friends of %% and $$ That we may be united in love and friendship. [Additional prayers, printed at the end, may be inserted here] Now to him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with rejoicing, to the only God, our Saviour, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, both now and for ever. Amen. The Lord's Prayer [The Lord's Prayer will be found at the end of the hymn book] Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. For thine is the

16 kingdom, the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen. The Thanksgiving [All stand and the Minister says:] Praise God, King of the Universe, who has created all things, and people in his own image. Praise God, who has created courtship and marriage, joy and gladness, feasting and laughter, pleasure and delight, love, brotherhood, peace and fellowship. Praise God, who has sent Jesus Christ to save us from sin and redeem our love from selfishness, and has given us the Holy Spirit to make us one with each other and with him. 26. [A hymn of your choice may be sung] The Blessing -

17 27. [The Minister says:] The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Amen. The Signing of the Registers [The congregation remain in the church until the couple process through it. An offering plate is provided at the door for gifts towards the work of God in the church. Confetti may be thrown outside the church.] The Wedding March [This is usually the one by Mendelssohn, but it can be any suitable music of your choice.]

18 ADDITIONAL PRAYERS: For Christian Family Life: 1. Blessed Lord, the author and giver of all good things, in whom is fullness of joy, send down your blessing, we beseech you, upon your servants whom you have joined as man and wife. Surround them with your good gifts. Bless them in each other, and both in the knowledge of Christ your Son our Lord. Amen. 2. O God our Father, we thank you for uniting %% and $$ in love. Watch over them, guide and protect them, and give them faith and patience; that all their days they may draw strength from you and from each other, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 3. O Lord our God, help %% and $$ to maintain love and faithfulness to each other as long as they live. May their vows be strengthened and confirmed by your power, so that all their hopes may be fulfilled in accordance with your will. Amen. For the gift of children: 4. O Father, in whom all parenthood has its beginning, in whom we live, and through whose power we share the work of creation, we pray for this husband and wife, that they may receive the gift of children, and with the help of your Holy Spirit may bring up their family in the Christian faith and life. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

19 5. We pray for %% and $$ that in their marriage all your will for them may be fulfilled; bestow upon them the gift and heritage of children; and endue them with all the gifts and graces needed for wise parenthood; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. For concerns outside the family: 6. O Lord Jesus Christ, who on the cross remembered your mother and your friend, make our homes to be homes of love. Spread your grace over every relationship of human life, so that all our earthly love may be gathered up into the love of God. Amen. 7. O Lord Jesus Christ, from whom we learn that true love is unselfish, help us at this time of our rejoicing to remember the lonely, the bereaved, and those whose homes are broken. Amen. When there are children already in the family: 8. O God our Father, we thank you for our children; and we ask that we may so show our love and thankfulness that the example of our lives and teaching may guide them in the way of righteousness and love, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 9. Almighty God our Father, whose Son Jesus Christ shared the life of the house

20 as Nazareth, grant that marriage may be held in honour among us. Grant that parents and children may live together in peace and understanding; and make every Christian home a school of truth and goodness, through Jesus Christ, who entered an earthly family to bring us heavenly life. Amen. NOTES ON THE DECISIONS THAT YOU NEED TO MAKE 1. Give notice to the Registrar at least one month before wedding date but the certificate is only valid for three months. 2. Decide the music to enter and leave the church by, and during the signing of the Registers. 3. Decide the Hymns 4. Decide the Reading(s) 5. Decide on any additional prayers

21 6. Make arrangements for flowers in the church 7. If you wish to print out the service you may include the Prayers of Intercession so that everyone can join in the responses. 8. If you wish to Video the service there will also be an additional fee of 40. This covers the cost of the Copyright License for the church and an additional fee for the organist as s/he is being recorded. 9. The fees for the church, caretaker/steward, organist and registration (but not for use of video, see above) will be , payable in advance please. The most popular music for entering and leaving the church: The Bridal March by Wagner The Wedding March by Mendelssohn Trumpet Voluntary by Jeremiah Clarke Trumpet Tune and Air by Purcell The Bridal March by Handel Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring by Bach Toccata and Fugue by Widor Entry of the Queen of Sheba The most popular hymns:

22 All things bright and beautiful Amazing grace. How sweet the sound Great is thy faithfulness Lead us, heavenly Father, lead us Lord of all hopefulness Love divine, all loves excelling Morning has broken Now thank we all our God O perfect love, all human thought transcending O worship the King, all glorious above Praise my soul the King of heaven The King of love my Shepherd is The Lord's my Shepherd